RuPaul’s Drag Race: It’s Debatable!

Posted on March 27, 2012

A drunken platform shoe decorating contest!

Oh, why can’t there by gay summer camps with activities like this? This is, after all, why God invented queens; so that they could go and teach underprivileged children the value of sequins.

The results were about what you’d expect, which is to say, mostly messes. Although Sharon needs to be singled out for praise due entirely to the phrase “I’m serving up Navajo realness.”

These crappy pieces of shit won.

Yes, we’re cranky because Phi Phi grates and because these are tacky and obvious, when “Navajo realness” deserves some sort of award, even if Absolut would never go for it for fear of offending. Which is why using drag queens as spokesmodels for products is never really a good idea unless you’re willing to be edgy. We offer as examples every painful Absolut commercial with former RPDR contestants (although the one where they go through the decades isn’t bad).

Hilarious.

We don’t know why the queens (see: Dida) get so worked up over shit like this. They’re looking for performers; people who can take the premise and run with it. They’re not looking for serious answers to debate questions, no matter how much Ru or Dan Savage said otherwise. They only said that to shake the queens up. The ones who just barrelled forward with their concepts (Chad and Sharon) were the ones who got the most praise. It’s not about “politics,” it’s about performing. It always is with every challenge. On RuPaul’s Drag Race, you don’t have to be a good singer or dancer or dressmaker or political pundit; you just have to take those concepts and run with them, giving the audience something to look at and respond to.

The world would be a better place if Secret Service agents looked exactly like this. You know it’s true.

We can’t believe we’re saying this, but we hate RuPaul’s outfit. Girl obviously didn’t want to put the work in that day. This looks like a bathrobe.

Still cute, but he needed about 6 layers of canned tan sandblasted off him.

Also cute but not as bitchy as we’d hoped he’d be.

So congratulations Sharon! We were a bit surprised the judges went with this one but we’re glad they did.

They throw a lot of crap at her for not being glamorous enough or being too spooky or whatever, but the longer the competition goes on, the sillier the judges look for making an issue of it. The fact of the matter is, there are three or four queens clearly better than all the other queens and that’s been true since Day One. Of those three or four queens Sharon is the funniest and most creative by far. It takes a special brain to look at a request to dress for a drag queen inauguration and say “Not gonna happen for a hundred years, so here’s my dress for 2112.”

The dress itself was not all that great from a design perspective, but the move was so (you’ll pardon the term in this context) ballsy that she deserved the win for it. We’re glad the judges agreed.

Michelle Visage said exactly what we’ve been saying about Dida. You get either face or body, but you never get both in the same look. The face looked pretty good, but the dress looked cheap and boring. She doesn’t know how to create a memorable look or character.

Whenever they ask her to play someone, she always defaults to the exact same character: a sweet, bubbly, super-feminine type. There’s nothing inherently funny about it and she never takes it anywhere interesting.

We’ll give her credit for trying her damnedest during the lip synch (and NOT resorting to gymnastics, wig or dress-ripping, and spastic convulsions because Dida Ritz is a LADY), but she was up against Miss Latrice Royale who was herself up against the wall. That’s not a position we’d wish on anyone. She’s lucky she could still walk off that stage with her head held high, because if Latrice didn’t like her, she’d have been a smear on that catwalk.

 

[Screencaps: tomandlorenzo.com]

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