Pairs Division: Tatum and Dewan-Tatum

Posted on March 15, 2012


Channing Tatum and Jenna Dewan-Tatum attend the premiere of “21 Jump Street” in Los Angeles. Jenna Dewan wore a Notte by Marchesa dress. Jewelry by Irene Neuwirth, clutch by Marchesa, and shoes by Brian Atwood.

Sorry for that outburst, kittens. Believe it or not, it’s not because we want to get into his pants. It’s because — well, let’s get to scoring and you’ll see.


Whew. We so could use a cigarette right now.

We dig that suit and we dig it even more on him. He’s very suited (pun unintended) for these more fitted styles and the plaid is just adorable. We think the jacket could’ve been let out just a tiny bit and the shirt just looks flat-out too tight on him, but he or whoever dressed him is clearly making the effort. He could so easily work a dumb meathead look but to his credit, he’s really trying to look sophisticated and grown up. It’s not perfect, but we appreciate where it’s going. Score: 8.75/10.

SHE: Is a disappointment in comparison and now everyone’s going to say we’re just being bitches because we want to get into praised her husband’s pants. Nothing’s awful here, but it’s all kind of generic. It could be a bridesmaid’s dress. The purse is nice but it’s the only thing that has any interest to it. We wonder if she’s not just being the dutiful wife and dressing to keep the focus on him. Fuck that. Girl, when they’re throwing free dresses at you, pick the ones that make you feel gorgeous, not the ones that make sure everyone’s looking at your hubs. Look at Stacey Keibler. She’s certainly not hurting George’s career by wearing a string of attention-getting gowns and now she’s practically a household name. Score 7/10. Not because it’s awful, but because it’s timid.

Combined Score: 7.875/10. Are we precise or what?


[Photo Credit: David Gabber, Emiley Schweich/PR Photos]

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  • SewingSiren

    I like the turquoise studded purse.

  • mozzer0906

    I don’t like the fly away tit look on the dress and her hair is very dull and flat.  He looks phenomenal.  

    • bitchybitchybitchy

      I just knew she was wearing Marchese because of that wacky boob embellishment.  Jenna, pay attention to Uncles T & Lo-you can look lovely and not take attention away from your cute little hubs.

  • I’m just surprised 21 Jump Street is getting high praise all around.

    • I know. Why not call it Police Squad: Teenage Narc Division?

      • kentiesgirl

         From the commercials I’ve seen-I haven’t read any reviews-they are molesting the title for Gen X-ers to get excited about it and that’s the only similarity. Am I correct? If so, boo for thinking we’re dumb enough to only remember the name and Johnny Depp.

        • out for a walk

          indeed. the best thing about the original was obviously doug. well that and the stripe twins. if there are no stripe twins they should probably just give up.

          • My favorite thing about the show was the music. I still remember this one episode with the opening montage (snowboarders I think) set to REM’s “Orange Crush”. I am not exaggerating when I say it changed my life a little bit.

        • You are exactly right. 

    • I know! Here is where I reveal my age… I remember the original show, and it was fun and on the edge. Not gritty, but still – not a farce. The new movie looks just foolish.

      • kentiesgirl

         Are you also rather irritated at the constant remake of everything late 70s/80s/early 90s? I liked it all the first time around, thankyaverymuch.

        I realize movies have been remade since the dawn of cinema, and even then from books, but lately it’s like I’m getting assaulted-Karate Kid, Transformers, 90210, 21 Jump Street, Hairspray (that one really offended me), I could go on forever. Stop messing with my memories Hollywood! If we liked the originals, we are not going to like the remakes. It just is. Cut it out.

    • Sobaika Mirza


      I want to see this move simply for the rumored Depp cameo. It looks otherwise awful.

      • bitchybitchybitchy

        I’ll pass, and save my movie dollars for Depp in the Dark Shadows movie….

      • I saw it in a preview, and I thought it was entertaining. Not a best picture nom for sure, but I enjoyed it. 

        • raininmai

           Roger Ebert liked it, admitted to be surprised by that and gave it 3 stars. (out of 4)  Iremember the original show and it was very cutting edge for it’s time, I think when the Fox network was just getting started.  God I’m old!  lol

          • kentiesgirl

            Dark Shadows shoulda been on my earlier list, Johnny or not.

            And no one’s old darn it. Just smarter and fiercer than the uneducated; regardless of age. I admit my exposure to DS was b/c of my Mum, but still, it was the original, so poo on you lazy re-makers. We’re onto you.

            I remember Fox coming around in the 80s..but that was a combo of Chi-town and how hard it was to pick up UHF channels with my crappy bunny ears-no matter how much tinfoil I wrapped around them. (Why was that ever a solution? It didn’t work and those channels came thru the circle part. What’s up with that? Did Reynolds form an alliance with the big three to make sure they were the only ones who could be watched mass market? If so, I think CBS got the short shaft. At least around these parts.)

            *begrudgingly admitting that I kinda wanna see Dark Shadows, blushing at what a poseur I am-but stand by 21 and especially 90210*

            Roger, if you recommend it, I will follow you. You are a rock star, and I am a flip flopper. But I trust you instinctively.

  • siriuslover

    From the neck up he still looks like a meathead to me. Just something about him bugs me. But I guess the point is fashion, so yeah, he’s dressed fine. I like her clutch.

  • Pennymac

    A bitter kitten posted many moons ago that Chaning Tatums head is exactly the same shape as a canned ham. I CANNOT unsee this no matter how darling he is in this suit, and he’s mighty darling! Jenna is wearing a very timid look, agreed. But I adore that purse. MINEMINEMINE *making covetous hand grabs*

    • Ms_Flyover

      Yep – I’ll now be forever looking for the little key you use to unzip his face.    Actually, that just made him significantly more interesting.

  • mjude

    i dont care for the right side of her dress.  he is a doll.

    • out for a walk

      also, even if you don’t mind that nonsense (which at first glance makes it look like she got a balloon implant just on the right side) it’s not integrated well with the rest of the draping… where it explodes over her boob there are several strips of fabric, but they don’t continue that look after it passes under the crossing draping heading towards the waist. it’s just a flat expanse there, not even draped for texture. gah. it makes it look SO lazily designed.

  • Anna Maria Diamanti

    I always wondered what you guys would do if you ever found the mythical perfectly-hemmed pant.

    Her little clutch is cute.

  • serenitynow02

    He may look a little less meatheady here, but he’s wearing a suit that’s too small and looks like it’s borrowed. And she has a weird skeletal eruption coming from her boob.

    Y’all are mighty generous, I must say.

    • Yep, perfect pant hem aside, that jacket is at least an inch too short according to the TLo Jacket Length Rules as stated regarding Alexander Ludwig earlier this week. (Bottom of jacket=crotch.)

  • Jaspreet5

    He is so unattractive to me. But I do like that suit on him. 

  • Sobaika Mirza

    I dig her clutch.

  • Lola67

    Love the shirt and jacket combo on him…..she looks fine, but all I can stare at is her run away breast.

  • I love that suit on him (and not just for the perfect hem)!

    I can’t help it, I’ve had this weird irrational love for him ever since I read that GQ cover story where he and the writer got drunk and spent the night in the desert. He seems like a ton of fun to party with.

  • Neither of them are taking me there. I admit to not being a fan of either of them as actors, or pretty people.  That said, though I am down with a trimly fitted suit on a well built man, the margin of error between trim and tight is might y fine, and in my view he crosses that line completely.  The jacket sleeves are pulling because his arms are too large, The pants are too tight across the hip, especially when he (GD it!) has his hands in his pockets. And the shoulder line is too narow for him, creating that picker at the sleeve head.

    Her dress is so blandly nowhere that it looks like it was pulled from some prom dress rack at Ross Dress for Less.  And that looping thing on one side makes her look in the first shot, like one of her breasts is several sizes larger than the other.

    Sorry, they both make me yawn.

  • Anathema_Device

    Agree with everything you said here. Also, her shoes are tragic! I do love her clutch.

    I love a plaid suit, and this one suits him well.

  • emeazul

    being blunt here, after seeing that first picture of him alone, I can’t even type it…I need a moment!

    and I quote: Holy Flying Fucksticks!!! ( courtesy of alexmcgeagh)

  • That dress makes her right boob look disproportionate.  Do women really want that?

  • kentiesgirl

    I actually out loud “what”ed when I opened this, but because of that crazy third boob. If you are going generic, get a dress that isn’t trying to actively escape from you.

  • DeborahLipp

    I hate those exploding-breast ribbon dresses. 

  • TAGinMO

    Tit-screpancy, tie-screpancy, her silly-putty shoes, and his in-pocket hands notwithstanding, I think they look amazing here, both as a couple and individually.

    The last pic is my favorite because it minimizes both of the aforementioned -screpancies, plus they both just look so generally happy.  

  • Her boobs are about to jump out.  We can almost see her nipples.  She’s very gorgeous and got a killer body.  It’s a shame to dress like a slutty virgin.

    He’s still Charming Potato.


  • She looks like she has a roll of TP growing out of her boob.

  • megohd

    He looks like a computer simulation of a person. And I don’t mean that as a compliment.

  • PastryGoddess

    Her blah

    Him…I can’t stop looking at his pants

  • She always tends to be a bit of a disappointment.  Especially when she has to stand next to him.  But the boob extension looks ridiculous. 

  • Call me Bee

    Precisely precise!  But I would have given the wifey a lower score for that silly tit-wing.  Had the dress not had that–I coulda been an 8 or 9. 
    And–I don’t find this man attractive at all–I think it’s the uber-jock thick neck. Sorry…but don’t the suit fit nice? (she says in her best Buddy Sorrell voice…)

  • Sara__B

    He – 7.5 tops because the suit (perfectly hemmed pants and all) and shirt are too small.
    She – 6. Boring boxy dress with unnecessary boob bulge, perfect for the middle-aged bride doing wedding #4, paired with ugly shoes.

  • Cathy S

    I really like his suit though I wish the second button was buttoned. He’s built like a football player, or looks like one in that suit. I hate her dress but her clutch is nice.

  • unbornfawn

    He looks great. In some of the photos it looks like her right tit exploded.

  • MilaXX

    Agree with the scores, he looks pretty good. She looks bland. Hate the  treatment at the bust, hate the silly putty shoes.
    Also from what I’ve seen, not liking what they did with the remake. If your gonna rip off my childhood, at least do justice.

  • And this boys and girls is why we have the word ‘titscrepancy’ in our vocabulary. 

    • guestela

       My reaction exactly!

  • EEKstl

    An A for effort for CT but the suit is just too tight.  LOVE her purse but that’s about it.  That boob plumage is distracting on the side shots and her shoes annoy me.  

  • TheOriginalLulu

    The more fitted style definitely does suit him, but what you said illustrates my problem with this style. People don’t know where the line is between perfectly fitted and Too Damned Tight, so they go out looking like they borrowed their little brother’s clothes.
    But he looks clean and put-together, so I’ll forgive just this once.
    I don’t like her dress either. It does nothing for her and the boob wing is distracting. 

  • That first picture terrified me because for a moment I thought one of her boobs was 5x the size of the other.

    He looks gorgeous and I love the purse.

  • Hands are still in the pocket, but I really approve of his attempts.  Mainly because he always seems to get that he should look presentable, regardless of his gender. 

  • Hands are still in the pocket, but I really approve of his attempts.  Mainly because he always seems to get that he should look presentable, regardless of his gender. 

  • AthenaJ

    At first glance I thought Jenna was Miley Cyrus. Must be the blindingly white Cheshire Cat teeth. That, plus so many starlets are starting to look alike – same nose, same boobs, etc…

    Speaking of ta-tas, somebody needs to tell her that when you are a bustier gal, you need to be careful of lower necklines paired with too much boob accoutrement. Not only are the girls spilling out, but that part of her bodice looks like its Just Given Up trying to hold those things in and is making a dash for the nearest exit.  

  • Srw27

    I hate her “tit bow”…him I wouldn’t kick outta bed for eating crackers 🙂

  • jenno1013

    If she’s going to wear the tit-wing dress, don’t you think the side-bow pumps from the Oscar de la Renta accessories next-post-over would pair nicely?  Complementary lines, or too matchy?

  • Jecca2244

    is she pregnant?

  • enonymous

    He looks good, but that open second button is annoying the hell out of me.

  • His jacket is both a tad too tight and too short. Leaving that lower button undone would be fine if both of these had been better fitted.

    I also think your blinders are on, guys — one or both of his hands are pocketed in 5 out of 5 pics (100% of them), and nary a word about it was uttered.

  • formerlyAnon

    I’ll let your scores stand. I personally disliked her dress more than you did. And I would like to call out his tie for individual praise. But overall, I agree.

  • I can’t get into the Charming Potato, but he does look good in the suit. Hate her dress.

  • I love his suit, but I have a weakness for plaid.  Her dress simply doesn’t flatter her.

  • MzzPants

    Her dress looks like it’s trying to flee.  Or it has a handle and is waiting to be picked up.  Teapot dress.

  • aimee_parrott

    Ooh, ech.  That dress is giving her a major titscrepancy.  Not good.  I think you were generous with her, right on the money with him.  Maybe Jesus and his mighty tailoring were trying to get her to fly away so you could have a clear shot at his pants?

  • Dhammadina

    Her dress is timid? The bows over her right breast look like a scotch tape bowmaker dispenser. Distracting. 

  • KathKo

    Her right breast looks like it’s going to try and run for it… And let her on the spot.
    Il like the plaid suit but I’m not sure about the pinstripped shirt.

  • littlemac8

    TLo you didn’t even gripe about his hands in his pockets!  Blinded by plaid??

    • Sophie Collier

      I was going to mention that too.  Hands in pockets for every single photo.  But it is a cool suit!

  • CatherineRhodes

    You’re way too generous with her. That is one butt-ugly dress, especially with that swan on the bodice about to fly away. Where’s Bjork? And silly putty shoes. Yuck. She looks terrible 3/10 at the most, maybe 2.

  • guest2visits

    Oh that dress. It’s like a badly folded tablecloth. How do such stunningly beautiful people make such goofy choices?

  • granddelusion

    Hes such a block; I do not get it. And his hands! In the pockets! What are they DOING in there!

  • ccm800

    Get your effing HANDS out of your POCKETS page 3 Sears catalog!  

  • No yelling about his hands in his pockets? Oh, wait, you were just so blinded by the perfect tailoring. I’ve never really gotten the Channing Tatum thing…he doesn’t do it for me in the slightest, but I’ll admit he looks great here.

  • PeaceBang

    Fellas, I think you were blinded by lust and distracted by the religious experience of perfectly hemmed pants. I don’t know either of them so forgive the cattiness, but I think they both look dumb. And I mean that intellectually and sartorially. Her flyaway boob is ridiculous and he looks like, what were your words? Dumb meathead? Yea, that. 

  • bellafigura1

    OK, the silly putty shoe thing is getting truly weird, it’s an infestation.  I can’t think of another accessory trend that just wouldn’t die like this one! 

  • Sunshine16

    I thought your first line was what her right boob was saying!

  • Her score is too high. GIven the ugly shoes with that totally forgettable dress. Blah hair. Gets one point for the purse

  •  You didn’t even criticize the silly-putty shoes!

  • TheOtherChristina

    How can a dress be so grotesque yet so boring all at once? ETERNAL QUESTIONS.

  • Wow, that’s a breast tumour in dress form. 

  • Ummmnnnn…Titscrepancy, titastrophe much.  What in the blazing blue HECK were they thinking with that “detail” on the right is HIDDY, especially in sillouette, and it overwhelms her.

  • Louise Bryan

    That bodacious bodice bow-thing is bad.  Especially when it’s on the far side of the shot.  She ends up looking very lopsided.

  • I think her dress looks like Miss Anthony Meets Suede. And not in a good way. I’m not actually sure there is a good way.

  • RonHermione42

    Is it just me or does she look drastically different than she did just a few years ago when they did Step Up together? I swear, I wouldn’t recognize her for being her – her face just doesn’t look the same.

  • didntwanttomakeaprofile22