Nicki Minaj for Allure Magazine

Posted on March 14, 2012

Darling Nicki goes wig-shopping with Allure.

Nicki Minaj featured in the April 2012 issue of Allure magazine photographed by Michael Thompson.

 

Was it wrong of us to burst out laughing at “The Hair is Fake; She’s Real?” Because that sounds like something you’d hear in a drag queen action movie. “The hair is fake; I’M REAL, BITCH!” And then she blows away the bad guy. With a gun.

Hey, why aren’t there drag queen action movies? Did we just invent a new genre?

Anyway, the pics are gorgeous and Nicki’s fresher than springtime here. A little drag queen Easter basket. Those ruffled arm-length gloves are so ridiculously fabulous we could just spit. Miss Piggy’s going to be jealous as hell when she sees them.

We realize we’re not the primary audience for them, but how have we not noticed her spectacular rack before now?

[Photo Credit: Michael Thompson for allure.com]

    • Jasmine Moten

      Irrational hate seems to be flaring up again. 
      Also re: her realness, DAT ASS.

      • http://twitter.com/OPHELIA_JESUS OPHELIA_JESUS

        my nėighbor’s mom ėarned $15279 last ṁonth. she is ṁaking an inćomė on the intėrnėt and bought a $348400 housė. All shė did was gėt lućky and put into work the instrućtions laid out on this wėbsitė..MakeCash2.com

    • http://twitter.com/GaraStJames Gara St. James

      She looks cute. Lots of Photoshop, though.

      And there ARE drag queen action movies, or at least one I can think of. Check out “Ticked-Off Trannies With Knives” (2010).

      • http://joyouslifesf.wordpress.com Kiltdntiltd

        I have Got to Netflix that!

        • Paigealicious

           It sounds a lot better than it is. But Willam’s in it!

          • http://joyouslifesf.wordpress.com Kiltdntiltd

            Oh, I’ve no doubt that it seriously stinks, film-wise, but it sounds a righteous hoot, never the less.

            • kentiesgirl

              I am thinking this sounds suspiciously like Snakes on a Plane right now.

      • RebeccaKW

         I’ve got to look for that.  It may be terrible, but I’m hoping for so terrible it’s fabulous.

      • 2ndhandchic

         OMG I’ve seen that, I wondered why William looked so familiar even though I don’t watch any “cop shows” or whatever he brags about being on all the time. Terrible movie, but entertainingly terrible.

      • aristida_girl

        Sweet!

    • lalahartma

      She has gorgeous breasteses.  :)

      • guestela

         And she (or Allure) wants you to stare at them IN EVERY PHOTO

    • Pupioso

      Okay I thought this was a fun look for her. Yes the hair is outrageous and Draggy. That’s fine. I like it. She looks fabulous here.

    • Kyle Crawford

      yawn….. 

    • http://twitter.com/Briadru4 Britney

      “We realize we’re not the primary audience for them, but how have we not noticed her spectacular rack before now?”

      Because everyone is usually mesmerized by her ass?

      • Glammie

        I think it’s more her pose (and Photoshop)–she’s leaning forward and using her arms to push them together–that’ll give any woman serious cleavage–it’s essentially how a push-up bra works.

        But, hell, I’m just relieved it’s not Kim Kardashian again this month.  I came to the abrupt realization that I hated Kim Kardashian and would not buy any magazine with her on the cover–so I skipped Allure last month.  I don’t care much for Ms. Minaj’s “singing”, but at least she does *something* besides sex tapes and quickie divorces and there’s still an incredible lack of women of color on fashion mag covers. So I’m getting this one.

        • AnaRoW

           The sex tape was, like, 8 years ago and the divorce was last year.  There has to have been something she’s done in between. I know she owns a few clothing stores with her sisters and has a clothing line.

          • Glammie

            I know she’s made a pile of money as vapid reality-show sex kitten with various branding deals, but I’m going to do anything to encourage her sell-by date.  There’s something deeply pleasant about Paris Hilton’s last reality show being a flop.  

          • http://twitter.com/Athenabast Athena Bast

             Kim Kardashian has been divorced twice.

            • AnaRoW

               I know that but all the outrage was over her filing for divorce last year.  I get that she’s shallow and I’ve never lasted more than a few minutes with her tv show but I just don’t get the level of hate directed towards her.  There are plenty of people in show business who seem to do just as little as her but don’t get as much venom thrown their way. (See Nicole Richie, Dita Von Teese, Brody Jenner, for examples).

            • glennethph

              Oh it’s because she had a fairy tale wedding but she turned out to be one of the evil stepsisters or the wicked witch, you choose.

            • http://www.tomandlorenzo.com/ Tom and Lorenzo

               Come on, are we really defending Kim K. from mean internet comments? She can handle it.

            • http://twitter.com/OperaSickness Opera Sickness

               I’ve never lasted more than a minute with her show either, but as much as I hate to admit it, I have always liked her in interviews.  She doesn’t seem smart, or all that self aware, or whatever, but I like how candid she is about her lifestyle, especially in regard to diet, exercise, and beauty.  When, as a woman, you are always comparing yourself to these flawless Hollywood stars, its nice to have someone pulling down the curtain and talking about the laser hair removal, and body makeup, and skin treatments that they probably all are doing, even the Natalie Portman types, but those girls are claiming that the only thing they do to look good is ‘eat well and that isn’t even hard because I love healthy food so much!’  I’m smart enough to know that the pro-make-up artists and Photoshop and whatnot are doing a lot of the work in elevating these woman from ‘sort of pretty girl’ to ‘spectacular knockout’ but it’s sometimes nice to know how much and what exactly is being done.  I was actually sort of thrilled about that video on all of the gossip sites with her and Kelly Ripa talking about body makeup, it really did make me feel less bad about how my legs aren’t an even color.
              And, it did always seem odd to me that she gets so much more vitriol than others.  TLo doesn’t bother me, because they just seem to find her irritating but
              don’t seem to be offended by her, but the sites that are really
              indignant about her, and cite her as the downfall of western civilization or something and then praise equally vapid stars bother me.  Jezebel for example is rather self righteous about how opposed they are to the Kardashian Klan, but they’ll sometimes, in the same post (like those gossip rundowns), bash her and talk about how awesome they find Alexa Chung and that seems a bit hypocritical.  It doesn’t make me feel bad for Kim, it makes me loose a bit of respect for the site that does that because it’s inconsistent. 

        • Jasmine Moten

          Eh, Minaj is just as terrible. I find it sad that girls look up to her.

    • PastryGoddess

      I don’t know how you missed that rack…it’s always out and about shaking hands and greeting people.

    • http://pulse.yahoo.com/_EDI2DLE7DE3YPW2ONIHBWOVHMA ecallaw

      As spectacular as her rack may be, it’s hard for any feature not to play second fiddle to her ass.

      • http://www.facebook.com/people/Jessica-TallGirl-Freeman/1043623567 Jessica TallGirl Freeman

        I so thought the same thing, boys you haven’t even seen her ass!! 

    • http://joyouslifesf.wordpress.com Kiltdntiltd

      Hi, my name is Nicki. My hair is pink dynel, and my bubbies are golden.

    • Beardslee

      She always looks so morose to me, she takes the fun out of these getups.  If I had those gloves, I would be smiling!

      • understateddiva

         Yeah, I thought the caption to the picture probably read, “Nicki has a sad.”

        • NC_Meg

          I’m beginning to wonder if she’s not one of those people that look sad or pissed if they’re just sitting there. (I’m one of those people. Apparently when I’m not smiling, I either look super mad or super depressed.)

          • JackieOBlue

            Me too, and I never realized it until I saw candid pictures of myself.  Boy, I do not look friendly at all.

          • buildmeatower

             I am too. I can’t tell you how many times people on the street have told me to smile or cheer up or something. (Or how many times my friends have asked if I’m mad at them.) Quite frankly I like it that Nikki isn’t smiling maniacally or whatever. I appreciate the acknowledgement that there are other possible facial expressions.

    • BazoDee

      WOW -that cover shot looks like they have to photoshop some wardrobe malfunction on that top. Yikes! 
      Other than that she looks fine enough. 

    • lonepear

      I love how one of the headlines right underneath her photo is “LUSH SUPERSEXY HAIR”.

    • http://pulse.yahoo.com/_2CNDPMVO4W23R5TVC2QMTJ5BZE Heather

      Cute photos. The ruffled gloves remind me of the ones Aggie and Kim wear on “How Clean is your House ?”:

      http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/How_Clean_Is_Your_House%3F

      And I’d pay to see a drag queen action movie.

    • Paigealicious

      THANK GOD she’s not doing the crazed-deer-in-headlights-Barbie face!!

    • BrooklynBomber

      I don’t know; for me, she’s one of those “why is this person famous?” people.  I guess you could say I don’t get the allure.

      • http://profiles.google.com/ameliaheartsu Amelia Logan

        I think she is a good rapper (not just in the female category), and she does cartoon character better than Katy Perry.

        • BrooklynBomber

          Fair enough.  I only saw her on the Academy Awards, which seemed like a disaster.

    • http://twitter.com/ILikeShiny Cindi Williams

      Yeah, I didn’t know she was packing heat up top either. Even though I’m a straight gal, I’m all about the boobs. With Nicki though, I’m usually checking out her crazy eyes.

      • poggi

        She is very likely the only women in history who has had people stare at her eyes and miss her breasts.  You’re right though, her crazy eyes usually do pull focus.

    • sarah nichols

      Ticked-off Trannies WIth Knives! I thought I was the only one who knew about that movie. Thank you, Netflix instant.

      • MilaXX

         Yes and drag Race’s William has a part in that.

    • http://twitter.com/arodenha Alli

      I would watch “The Hair is Fake; I am Real” in a HEARTBEAT.

      • LesYeuxHiboux

         That as title sounds like a Lifetime biopic of Dolly Parton (that I would watch the hell out of).

        • RebeccaKW

           Someone needs to make this!

    • http://twitter.com/Olive_la Olivia Vigrabs

      How about Starrbooty? I love that movie.

      • kentiesgirl

        Kudos! First thing that popped into my head.

    • http://www.facebook.com/people/Jessica-TallGirl-Freeman/1043623567 Jessica TallGirl Freeman

      The second photo, that look on her face pretty much sums up how I feel about her.  She really has talent, but all this shittery keeps getting in the way, and it actually makes me bored and disappointed. 

    • greatscoutm

      While I can appreciate the spread overall, when I first looked at the cover and then read all of the teaser-tags I burst out laughing–it just struck me as incredibly funny: “Anti-Aging Surprises” (I’ll say), “Lush Super-Sexy Hair” (pink plastic), and “Hint: Lose the Black Eyeliner” (when the cover shot features a woman hefting 6oz of liner and 5′ of lash). She does look cute, a little Emmet Kelly as fashion icon, but cute. Hilariously great.

    • LesYeuxHiboux

      As another big-boobied lady I have to say Nicki: you can’t do the broken-down doll pose without looking like your tits are giving you a hunchback. Love ya, great editorial!

    • RebeccaKW

      B/c her rack is usually covered up by stuffed bears and giant fake flowers and shit.

      And drag queen action movie-I’d actually go to the theater opening night and pay $9 to see one.

    • http://cheekypinky.wordpress.com/ Rebecca

      I am having serious eyelash envy.
      Where the crap did the makeup artist find those things?

      • MilaXX

        They’ve everywhere I actually own several pairs of those and they aren’t that pricey. Hell, I even have those crazy Effie Trinket lashes. Any beauty supply store will have them for under $5,  Sephora, Ulta, etc… will sell the more expensive brands like Make Up Forever. 

      • http://profiles.google.com/ameliaheartsu Amelia Logan

        try Mac 44 lash. Ulta has 100 different kinds of false eyelashes. good luck

        • http://cheekypinky.wordpress.com/ Rebecca

           Thanks!!!

    • CatherineRhodes

      The Marie Antoinette look really suits her.

    • alyce1213

      “how have we not noticed her spectacular rack before now?”
      Because we’ve been looking at her ass.

    • RWtD

      Is the lip color a contractual obligation? I know it’s her thing, but eh.

      • http://profiles.google.com/ameliaheartsu Amelia Logan

        No I’ve seen her wear other pastel shades too… 

    • VicksieDo

      I covet those gloves!  FAB

    • https://profiles.google.com/104791269167429064986?hl=en&tab=h Judy S

      It’s so funny because I am about as far from her fan demographic as you can get (empty nester who listens to opera and shops at Talbots) but I find her delightful to look at.  She’s so beautiful and at the same time has such an attitude.

    • MilaXX

      I like these pictures of Nicki. Thankfully they managed to get her to not make goggly eyes. It often gets lost under her many colors and crazy wigs, but Nicki is a very nice looking young lady.

    • MilaXX

      does RuPaul’s Star Booty count as a Drag Queen Action movie?

    • joe_tey83

      She’s missing nipples.

      • serenitynow02

        I wonder if she forgot to buy them?

        • Farthingale

          That’s “Phase 2″.

    • http://twitter.com/jessicapippin Jessica Pippin

      Good pictures, but I’m kind of over the bubblegum pink hair & make-up. It’s time for something new! 

    • Judy_J

      Those purple gloves remind me of Playtex Living Gloves (“so flexible you can pick up a dime!”)

      • Anathema_Device

         Yes, my kitchen gloves are this exact shade of purple!

      • Farthingale

        And it just occurred to me the “Living” part is kind of creepy. As if you were sliding your forearms and hands into someone else’s for chore time. 

    • http://www.wordydoodles.com WordyDoodles

      If I could do dishes in gloves that looked like that, you better believe I’d have an empty sink fast.

      Even better, if I could get these and hide the ones my husband uses to do dishes and have a drag-dish-washing show… we’d get the dishes done or we’d fall over laughing. Either way, win!

      • meowing

        I’d like to wash the car wearing ‘em!

      • Farthingale

        I posted my nearly identical comment above before reading this. We are on the same page.

    • formerlyAnon

      I am in favor of drag queen action movies. There is surely a film producer minion among us. Get on it.

    • Natasha Fairweather

      The rack is also totally fake.

    • http://pulse.yahoo.com/_B53PQYXSJR4YJBV3J6BWYSICRQ Jamie

      My 18 year old son was well aware of them

    • turtleemily

      Is she sitting in the third one? I can’t figure out how she’s bent at the waist with her feet that far and pointed in otherwise.

    • Anathema_Device

      I just don’t find her fabulous at all. There is always so much artifice going on with her appearance that I can’t even bother.

      • http://pulse.yahoo.com/_GFRKTKRR6FKE2G4QO4MQNGL6DY Carol

        And I thought it was just me.  Cancelling my subscription.

    • kentiesgirl

      The Warriors. Seriously. The whole bunch of em are in all kinds of drag. It’s pretty fantabulous, I must say. Serving 70s gang realness on roller skates.

      Okay, not a “drag queen” movie, but the campy movie talk got me remembering and I had to bring it up, since some people already got to Starrbooty before me.

      As for Nicki, love the colors, the wigs, very pretty all around.

    • tinyredlocks

      Spectacular rack, indeed! I’m not her target audience, either, but that is some rather impressive cleavage. Who knew?!?

    • aristida_girl

      I have to say her rack is disconcerting to me on the cover shot, but I am full on in favor of some drag queen action movies, we should make one pronto..the opening scene will be a fabulous queen striding confidently towards us against the backdrop of a magnificently exploding building..I love it

    • http://www.wordydoodles.com WordyDoodles

      Ok, wouldn’t it be great to see her go head to head with Kirsten Dunst in her Marie Antoinette costumes?

    • howdoilook

      “how have we not noticed her spectacular rack before now?”

      I blame it on her ass.

    • unbornfawn

      Drag queen action movie! I’m so there!!!

      • Farthingale

        How about a drag queen version of “Airplane”? Ru (as a man) could be the pilot. Ru as a glamazon could be (herself) and a first class passenger. All the previous contestants of Drag Race would be crew and passengers. With lots of special guest cameos. 

        • unbornfawn

          Make it so!!!

    • http://twitter.com/algaechick algaechick

      Multiple pictures of Darling Nicki, and not a single wide crazy deer in the headlights eye!

    • elzatelzabelz

      I was just thinking that?- How have we not noticed her rack before? that’s got to be in some plastic surgeon’s office as the “I want those.” I love Nicki. Can’t help it. I love her.

    • quiltrx

      I’ll take the purple gloves.  She might get pea soup on them next time she’s being exorcised.

    • http://profiles.google.com/valencia.lucia87 Lucía Valencia

      Ugh no, just no. Maybe it’s me, that I just don’t get her appeal or something, but I do find her, frankly, almost repulsive.

    • nannypoo

      I do not understand her personna. She’s just unpleasant.

    • Sally Brownson

      I think we haven’t noticed her rack before now because most of the time she prances around with good posture- shoulders back, back straight. In these, she’s leaning over and hunching her shoulders, both of which make her cleavage look great. 

    • PeaceBang

      This is six tons of fun. I’m sorry I don’t know this, but is she a talented singer? She’s a rapper, right? Does anyone listen to her music?

    • http://twitter.com/TMamBo Therese Bohn

       Nice to see her not making her signature ‘surprised’ expression.  I thought those were purple Playtex gloves at first!

      • Farthingale

        Exactly! As did I. Now wouldn’t my sink be nice and shiny and all my dishes washed up immediately if I could work those? So along with Drag Queen Action Movies we need Drag Queen Domestic Diva products to bring the fabulous to housework. 

    • http://www.facebook.com/people/Jessica-Charlotte-Siewierkiewicz/503556621 Jessica Charlotte Siewierkiewi

       I think there was this movie called ‘Madame X’. It sounded so bad it had to be good, but alas, I did not have the time to watch it. Did anybody else see it?

    • mozzer0906

      She is a beautiful woman and her boobs are spectacular, I just wonder why they were the focus of all of these photos?  Because I zoned in on the twins in every last one of them.  It takes away from her beautiful face.

    • bitterk

      Her 15 minutes must be coming to an end soon.  I hope.  

    • Mariah J

      …Except that she’s NOT real…she’s completely airbrushed. Boring.

    • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=739196218 Leah Burns

      She pretty much is a drag queen that’s a woman.

    • Farthingale

      She’s serving Capitol Realness. Why didn’t they cast her in the Hunger Games as one of Cinna’s assistants? Sorry, I’m going to be geeking out on HG for at least another couple weeks.

    • Sarah Hankins

      I think she looks like she usually looks in this photo shoot, nothing too exciting.  However, I feel the need to emphasize that NIcki Minaj is an INCREDIBLE rapper.  The extent to which her talent goes unrecognized by critics and the frequency with which she is compared to all-show, little-substance female media stars absolutely boggles my mind.  Unequivocally, she has some of the best flow of any rapper, male or female, in hip-hop’s 30+ year history.  Her delivery is revolutionary (she trained as an actress at a top-flight performing arts high school; listen to her bring two distinct characters to life in her guest spot on Kanye West’s “Monster”) and her rhymes are funny, cutting, sharp, brilliant.   Opinions abound, but rap skill and talent are actually measurable quantities, organized around a set of aesthetic values comparable in sophistication to any musical genre anywhere, from classical to jazz.  And Nicki more than makes the grade.  She’s no flash in the pan, and she’s not living 15 minutes of fame.  She’s a poet and an innovator in one of America’s most significant musical traditions.

      Just sayin’ :)

    • Lisa

      I think you did just invent a new movie genre – I really think so!

      Now THIS will be fun when it shows up in my mailbox!  And this sure as hell makes up for that complete ridiculous display she had going on at The Grammys!