RuPaul’s Drag Race: FROM NOW ON, QUEEN.

Posted on February 16, 2012

Darlings, we’re packing up and heading out today, New York Fashion Week only a happy memory in our minds. Yes, we are quite behind on our TV blogging. All we ask is that our Bitter Kittens remain patient. We’ll be in transit most of today but from Friday to Sunday, we’ll get caught up on all those shows we missed, including Walking Dead, Glee and Revenge. Keep checking back, precious unborn fawns.

Say what you will about Ru, she’s got a heart in her the size of her wigs. Everyone who knows her says this about her and just an hour talking on the phone with her confirmed it to us. It may be wrapped up in show-businessery and glitter, but she really is someone who has a knack for empathy and for reaching out.

In other words, whatever control she exerts over the rest of the show, we have no doubt this challenge came straight from Ru. Only she would have seen the ways you can connect Piyah’s life to that of the average drag queen: through beauty and the power of transformation; presenting your very best self to a sometimes-hostile world. A truly lovely and inspiring message that never got preachy and always remained in the realm of fun.

Can Project Runway do that? Can America’s Next Top Model? Not on their best days.

So… teams…yadda yadda yadda … no one wants Jiggly… blah blah blah… but she winds up on the winning team anyway.

That’s quality recapping right there. Aren’t you glad you had to wait days for it?

Deserved win. There were some brokedown-looking butterflies on those wigstands. This team figured out (or lucked into) the idea that she would need something up and out, rather than close to the head.

So Phi Phi and Kenya become team leaders for the main challenge.

Next up: A new way for Ru to plug her recordings! At least she’s upfront and honest about it.

For some reason, they came up with an ’80s greatest hits commercial theme, which made no sense, since Ru didn’t really become a star until the ’90s.

Willam was kind of flat — and looked disturbingly like Cloris Leachman.

Next one to go home, amirite? Never really seems to bring it.

Just okay.

Princess, bless her, doesn’t have the chops and it was more obvious than ever with this challenge.

Chad is awesome. She can move from comedy to glamour without dropping an eyelash and she’s sweet about it all to boot.

So, we were sitting in our seats at Fashion Week, when the guy next to us recognized us and struck up a convo. Hi, Joey, the Curly Haired Kid! You probably won’t read this for a while because you said you were behind on your RPDR, but we bet you just spit up your drink!

Anyway, Joey immediately brought up Kenya and asked us if we were as disturbed by her as he was. We were thrilled that someone voiced what we’d been thinking because we didn’t want to touch it. As this video showed, the girl’s got it in spades and knows how to work it, but the hypersexualized child vibe she gives off is really, really squirm-inducing. It’s not her fault she looks like she’s 13, but all that licking and grinding gets to be way too much.

Did Phi Phi’s team have a theme? Besides offensive racial and ethnic stereotypes? We watched the episode on our laptops in our hotel room, so you’ll have to forgive us if we missed it.

We didn’t laugh simply because Jiggly has no comedy chops, not because we were offended by it. If you were offended by it, you have every right to be and we wouldn’t dream of saying otherwise. But the thing is, this is drag. This is what it is. It’s supposed to be at the very least, irreverent and not politically correct, but at its most potent, drag is designed to make you feel just a little uncomfortable. And it has a long history of skewering (some would say, “reveling in”) racial, ethnic and gender stereotypes.

Such a pro. LUV. HUH.

Girl is A MESS. Doesn’t seem to understand how to present herself and has more personality out of drag then in it.

Enh.

MOTHERFUCKING WINNA IN THE HOUSE.

That is frikkin STYLE, bitches. Both of those looks show world-class makeup-artist and costumer levels of technical skill. Phi Phi tried to sabotage – because that’s what all that passive agressiveness was about: getting the strongest gal to fuck up so she’d get sent home – but Sharon’s got way too much going on for something like this to stop her. Granted, her performance was dicey at best (although it was at least one of the better ones), but her character was complete, right down to the voice, and her looks were gorgeous.

Poise.

Beauty.

Michelle Visage and Billy B got into a twitter fight this week over who we love more when we realized we haven’t really shown her the love this season. True story (and one that we think she’d find hilarious): Just before she started with the show, LOGO sent us the press package for that season, along with all the bios and pictures of the drag queens. Concerned about a discrepancy, Lorenzo contacted LOGO. “I’ve matched up all the bios with the pictures, but there’s one drag queen in the pictures who’s not named and I don’t have a bio for her.” LOGO rushed back an answer: “ROTFLMAO, you silly queens! That’s not a drag queen! She’s the new judge on the panel!”

So, we love you Michelle. You are free to lord it over Billy until the next time he looks cute on camera.

How sweet was she?

We always think it must be strange for a singer to watch – and be expected to judge – a drag queen lip-synching her song, but she was AWESOME throughout the lip-synch, calling out and raising her hands, then going completely nuts when Dida nailed the hardest line in the song. She would know better than anyone how tough that one line is.

Judging on completion, i.e. a fully committed and cohesive look, this one’s an 11 out of 10. But we can’t say we exactly love it, What makes it great is that it demonstrates once again how amazing her transformative skills are. No queen looks so different from look to look as she does.

The irony here is, in any other week, this look probably would have been a contender for the win. She really does look pretty incredible here; best she’s looked on the show so far. But she’s been awkward and unsure of herself since she got there. Either she’s not ready or she’s just not good enough for the show.

When they announced “This Will Be” as the lip synch, we said, “Kiss your ass goodbye, white girl.” We had serious doubts about Dida bringing it, but we just couldn’t imagine any of the white queens, let alone Princess, who’s performance-shy, nailing a song like that. It takes a sister. Still, we were curious to see how it would shake out, since Dida’s as weak as Princess most of the time. But when a queen is pushed up against the wall, she either crumbles to the floor or comes roaring back, ten tons of fierce in your face.

Guess which option Dida chose?

That was one of the most amazing LSFYL segments the show’s ever had. Dida transformed right in front of our eyes, from a wallflower to spotlight-commanding diva. It was, as Latrice put it, “High Drag,” which is like High Mass, only the dresses are shorter and the purses aren’t on fire.* Princess never stood a chance; not because he was white, but because he obviously didn’t want this as much as Dida did.

 

*Line repurposed from OG drag queen Miss Tallulah Bankhead, who reportedly once stumbled into a Catholic Mass halfway through it and said to the priest, “Darling, I love your dress, but your purse is on fire.” That story has been passed down from older gay men to younger ones for generations now.

 

[Screencaps: tomandlorenzo.com]

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