Darlings, let’s take a break from looking at all those world-class gowns at the various Oscar events and jump back into the reality television pool, where the gowns are considerably lower than world-class.
This dress smells like flop sweat. It’s got “panic” written all over it. And to be perfectly honest, we have no idea why. Maybe Austin’s better when there are more restrictions put on him, like corn husks instead of silk. After all, this was mainly a “make a pretty dress” challenge with the only restrictions being that the colors were assigned and there had to be a tip of the cultural hat (which is such a broad thing to impose on a design that it’s practically meaningless).
So why couldn’t he just make a pretty gown in some version of his flag’s colors? Why did he wind up making this tortured, unattractive thing?
And as much as it pains us to ask it, why did he not get Schmauf’d for it?
This dress also pains us, but we can’t stay mad at it because it did manage one thing that made us very happy.
It finally forced some Project Runway judges to admit that Michael makes ticky-tacky pageant-y looks nine time out of ten. We’ll get a lot of shrieking at us for that, but that’s how we see it. He can whip out an impeccably made garment and we have no doubt he can serve a Palm Springs clientele, but from a fashion perspective, there’s a serious taste issue and there always has been. Most of the designers struggled with the idea of doing something culturally appropriate, but Michael was the one who went straight for the Miss Universe national costume parade.
Honestly, we think even this, as impeccably made as it was, was more worthy of the Schmauf than Mila’s garment, which was thoughtful, also impeccably made, and something we hadn’t seen before. If this show actually was a design competition, she would’ve been near the top (if not the outright winner) and something as pedestrian and tacky as this (or Austin’s mess above) would have gone home instead. But this is a reality show and they have a story to tell, regardless of talent or how well individual people do in challenges.
[Photo Credit: myLifetime.com - Screencaps: tomandlorenzo.com]
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