The Grammys! Like the Oscars, with prostitutes!
Anne V and Adam Levine
He looks stunning. She looks ridiculously tacky. We’re embarrassed for her.
Girl, that’s not your dress. We’re not even sure Elle Fanning is young enough for this dress.
Amber Rose in Versace
Yellow wouldn’t have been our choice for her, but she looks striking as hell.
The dress is doing its job, we suppose, but the pinhead hair is distracting.
Carrie Underwood in Gomez-Gracia
She burned out the screen on our hotel room TV last night. We think she’s a bit too covered up, but it’s head-turning for sure – and the black purse was a great idea.
We feel assaulted by this dress.
LEG WARMERS ON HER ARMS.
A GIGANTIC SENTIENT WIG.
MISS DIANA ROSS.
The dress is pretty standard, but the message is loud and clear: I. DON’T. AGE.
Jessie J in Julien MacDonald
Juicy Fruit wrappers.
Enh. We can’t work up the words. The belt’s ugly, we can tell you that.
Pretty. Soft hair would have been a better choice.
Julianne Hough in Kaufmanfranco
Ladies and gentlemen, Jennifer Anist–
No, wait. She’s almost 20 years younger than her. Julianne, SET YOUR STYLIST, HAIR AND MAKEUP GAYS ON FIRE.
Katy Perry in Elie Saab Couture
We don’t know what is going on inside this girl’s head anymore.
Kelly Rowland in Alberta Ferretti
We don’t normally use this as a criterion for assessing a dress, but her butt looked AMAZING in this. The front view’s pretty good too. Love the hair.
LL Cool J
We love you, Cool James, but this is kind of shapeless and unflattering. Don’t hide that bod under a bushel.
Malin Ackerman in Cushnie et Ochs
Girl, that is not your dress, your color, your shoes, OR your makeup. Get back in the limo, stop off somewhere for a pint of Chubby Hubby, and head home to watch the show on you couch. Your heart’s clearly not in it.
Gown by Victoria’s Secret.
Miranda Lambert in Pavoni
We have this thing about dresses that match the hair color. Makes our eyes twitch.
Taylor Swift in Zuhair Murad Couture
We can’t decide if this is too much dress for her or too much dress for the Grammys, but it’s not working here. It’s a stunning dress, but she might not be woman enough to pull it off.
[Photo Credit: Getty]