Darlings, it was, of course, the Grammys red carpet, where purple tuxedo jackets and popes are de rigeur. In other words, a veritable freak show. Hit it, streetwalkers!
Adele in Giorgio Armani
She looked gorgeous.
Alicia Keys in Alexandre Vauthier and Swizz Beatz in Tom Ford
Her look was a little severe, but it mostly worked for her. That neck piece or whatever was a bridge too far. He’s just serving up fabulous. Very few men should try this, but it works for him. Together, they look striking.
Bride caught in a fishing net.
Corinne Bailey Rae in Christian Siriano
Really cute dress; really bad hair; really wrong shoes.
Cyndi Lauper in Jean Paul Gaultier
You WERQ that shit, girl. Thirty-plus years of never giving a shit what anyone thought of you, so why should you start now?
Pretty enough, but kind of bland. Platforms with a gown. Tsk.
Fergie in Jean Paul Gaultier Couture
This ho crazy.
Ohmigod, stop that, you jackass. It already looks like a skating costume, you don’t need to help the effect along.
He’s so cute and this looks like a pretty great suit, which is why it was KILLING us that he was walking around with it unbuttoned.
Kate Beckinsale in Zuhair Murad
Cocktail waitress at Caesar’s Palace.
Oh, Miss Kathy! You finally found a color that looks soft and flattering on you, instead of the usual harsh and attention-seeking shades you favor!
Kelly Osbourne in Tony Ward
Still hate the hair and this dress gets a little complicated at parts, but she looks pretty great.
It’s such a rare occurrence when someone manages to get literally every single aspect of her look wrong, from hair down to feet. It’s like a fashion eclipse or something.
Bless her heart.
Men are wearing tuxedos here. Put on a fricking tie.
Nicki Minaj in Versace
What hath Gaga wrought?
This is how it’s gonna be from now on, isn’t it? Someone’s gonna try each year for an “egg moment.” We can just see it: By 2020, the Grammys red carpet will be nothing but a sea of eggs, meat dresses, religious iconography, and fairy tale characters.
They even coined the term last night: “egg moment.” We’re even using it. Shoot us in the heads right now. Right this second.
Okay, credit where it’s due: it really was a “moment” and pretty much defined the night. Just as last year will always be “that time Gaga showed up in an egg,” she made this year’s Grammys all about that time Nicki showed up with the pope.
That dress is too nice for this smacked ass.
Rihanna in Giorgio Armani
High-priced call girl in ’80s TV movie of the week.
Yikes. It’s like a Miss Las Vegas pageant gown. She needs a sash and a tiara with sparklers mounted on it.
The shoes were an inspired choice for this dress, which looks quite good on her. We think the hem could have gone up an inch or two. And we hate the hair.
Taraji P. Henson in Brian Rennie
To paraphrase Maggie Smith’s Lady Trentham, “Difficult colors, pink and brown.” They work great for cupcake shops decor, but not so much on this dress.
[Photo Credit: Getty]