24 Hour Catwalk: There’s a Kitty in your Box!

Posted on February 10, 2012

Snakes in a box! Killer kittens! It was WILD KINGDOM on the It’s Just JustRaymona! show last night, darlings!

Our contestants: Barbie, Pageant Nerd, Sunday School Teacher, and Fast-Talker. All have to make something out of cheap, ugly snakeskin print fabric.

Barbie

 We kind of wanted her to stay because she was a bit full of herself and liked to argue with judges. Plus, she made the best garment by far. We understand why they eliminated her. This isn’t Project Runway, where a cheeky designer can bend the rules and get away with it because the judges “want to see more from her.” This is 24Hour Catwalk and no one has time for your bullshit. Sorry, girl. Should’ve used more of the snakeskin.

Pageant Nerd

 He was kind of adorably delusional, wasn’t he?

Sunday School Teacher

SST totally got on our nerves with her sniffy need for perfection, but she made the second-best dress, easily.

 

Fast-Talker

JESUS CHRIST, this chick got on our nerves. We were so hoping that JustRaymona would come in and JustSlap her, but alas, she was probably prevented from doing so by producers. The dress is hideous, but we agreed with the judges that it was ambitious and shows a great point of view.

So Barbie and Pageant Nerd go home, leaving the Sunday School Teacher and Fast-Talker to slug it out. The collection theme? Kittens! We immediately hate SST because she’s not a cat person. FT is irritating, but at least she likes cats.

The rules are that they have to do a kitty-themed collection and they have to use some shitty faux fur.

 

Sunday School Teacher

Unsurprisingly, the aesthetic was girly.

Derek actually liked those big fur things, which means Cynthia was clearly passing the pipe. Take them away and this is a surprisingly chic little number. Love the neckline and sleeves, as well as the piping.

 

Because every designer LOVES taking a size 2 and making her look ENORMOUS. This outfit’s a joke, but we take Cynthia’s point about the interesting design on the jacket. If the volume had been toned down and everything was more tailored, this look might have been great.

 

The judges raved about this one, but we thought the fabric looked like bedsheets. The neckline and sleeves (again) are quite nice.

 

Fast-Talker

Unsurprisingly, the aesthetic was crazy and all over the place.

Too much of everything. You could make either the cape or the catsuit work, but you can’t have both in the same outfit.

 

This dress should be hideous – and it comes pretty close – but pretty much everything good about this dress comes down to the fact that JustRaymona JustKickedAss on it and remade the whole thing from scratch at the last minute. It’s not perfectly executed, but it’s still damn impressive. Nothing can save those ugly velvets, though.

 

A joke. Come on now.

In the end, Sunday School Teacher won and we suppose we can’t argue with that even if she is a cat-hater.

 

[Photo Credit: myLifetime.com]

  • Anonymous

    Best title for an article ever. EVER.

  • Marie Watterlond

    SST made me laugh out loud with her reaction to the adorable kitten! It was exactly the way my poor mother reacted when one of our cats (we usually had 4 or 5) would jump up on her lap. I gave her mad props for coming to stay for a couple of weeks at a time in a house with cats and lots of kids. Similarly, I had to give props to SST for womaning up and embracing the cat challenge–once the scary beast was removed from her view. This show is really growing on me, and not in a cheesy-fungus sort of way.

  • Greg Yoder

    I presume Sunday School Teacher made her own dress?  It’s, um, not attractive.

  • suzq

    I’ll say this much, Alexa Chung would make a better host of Project Runway-All Stars. 

    JustRaymona is awesome.  But FT didn’t listen to her, thus, she didn’t win. 

    On the other hand, SST gave into a number of Michaell’s demands and, thus, got the win.  Each sewing team has close to 60 years of experience, all put together.  Any design-testant would be a fool not to listen to them.

    • Call me Bee

      I like Alexa, too.  She’s good and cheeky, but I just wish she’d find another hairstyle. 

      • MilaXX

         I wish she would find a brush. That hair never looks done to me.

    • drdarke

       @google-129eb360928141affab8dc329eb9c864:disqus – the problem is, Alexa Chung looks like an unmade bed in a badly home-made Dominatrix Schoolmarm outfit, most of the time. I want to jump her – and comb her fucking hair, and make her put on a basic blouse and skirt/pants (I don’t care which)!

  • suzq

    Another cute moment was when Deron turned to FT and said that the fabrics weren’t playing nice with each other.  She goes on and on about how she was a textile major at Parsons.  Dude has over 10 years of experience sewing with designers and you take your newly minted diploma and wave it in his face? 

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=1344922354 Eric Scheirer Stott

     If that last one is intended to be tongue in cheek ironic, then I like it. The “I don’t give a f*ck” styling helps.

  • Anonymous

    This show is so dumb, and  yet I love Alexa Chung (there’s something about how she speaks that just sounds so down-to-earth, or something) and JustRaymona.  My roomie and I also appreciate “Drunk Cynthia Rowley” and “Fat James McAvoy” on the judging panel.

    • Vincent Dall

      Agree (show is dumb) and agree (love Alexa) and agree (JustRaymona) and agree (Drunk Cynthia) and agree (Fat James – who is kind of sexy but definitely letting himself go a bit). 

    • Anonymous

      I really want to punch James McAvoy every week, right in the face. Alexa grows on me more each episode and cracks me up.  Loved Rowley’s throw down with Barbie, I  kind of wish they really did meet in  the alley and kick the crap out of each other. How great would it be to have a show with the sewing teams picking a designer and putting together a PR like collection? 

  • Anonymous

    When “Pageant Nerd” said he made dresses for drag queens in Vegas, I was all “SIGN ME UP FOR THAT HIDDEN CAMERA”. Alas, he was no Chris March. 

  • http://www.facebook.com/claudeth.forbin Claudeth Forbin

    SST bedsheet model is Kenley’s model on PRAS

    • Stefanos Mantyla

      Is she? I had a feeling she might be the same.

      What about that second model in SST’s collection? Was she Gordana’s model on All-Stars? She looks similar, I think.

  • http://twitter.com/QuincyTKatz Quincy Katz

    I understand why the Sunday school teacher won. Her stuff was the most wearable.
    But I honestly don’t see “feline” in any of it, nothing is slinky or graceful- especially the fur pom-poms.
    Maybe I am being too literal, maybe I just don’t like seeing a hater win.

    • Anonymous

       Kitten mittens.

      • http://twitter.com/urban_gypsy Urban Gypsy aka Tess

        Kitten Mittens!  One of my favorite episodes on It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia. And perfectly suited to those cray cray puffs of “fur” on her hands.

    • http://beautyforrealgirls.blogspot.com/ accidental housewife

      Considering your avatar, I’m going to agree with everything you said.

  • Anonymous

    I think if SST’s second look (inside out jacket) had been made with skinny pants, it would have helped tremendously.

  • Anonymous

    It took me years to overcome my fear of cats after one of them almost took out my little brother’s eye. Just saying.

  • Anonymous

    not only does she hate cats, she’s actually afraid of them.  come on now, are you three years old?

    • Anonymous

      My late Aunt Connie had an irrational cat phobia.  One holiday visit, our cat sneaked in her room in the middle of the night and she woke everyone up screaming.  She was otherwise a lovely lady who sang old songs from the 40’s and played piano for nursing home residents.  But for that moment, we all thought she needed meds… heavy ones.

      • Anonymous

        My mother had the same fear. No reason was ever given, no traumatizing experience or anything. Just got freaked out by cats. And also birds. People are strange.

  • Call me Bee

    When SST’s collection came out–I really did scream “pussybow”!!!  But t be fair, SST waanted that outfit to be pants, and the seamstresssesssesssess decided they couldn’t get them done in the time left.  So she whipped up that horrible circle skirt.  Did love the jacket, though.  And the tweed dress without the pussy pockets. 
    FT’s collection was all fug, so they made the right decision. 

    • MilaXX

       Yeah when they decided on the circle skirt I was thinking a pencil skirt might work better. I have no idea why she agreed to that.

  • Anonymous

    They really need to stop putting innocent animals and reptiles in dark trunks.  Snakes… really?  Those poor little kitties.  What if they accidentally put a snake with a cat?  oh, and did anyone else wonder if the cat handler woman from 30 Rock was offstage giving SST the stink eye?

  • Anonymous

    Maybe I’m biased because I had a Birman who looked just like the kittens they used, but I thought she looked pretty ridiculous hating on that completely adorable well behaved kitten.  At least I’m thinking both must have been well behaved based on what the reaction of my cats would have been to being put in a box that was opened by a stranger on a TV set…

    • http://twitter.com/QuincyTKatz Quincy Katz

      Well behaved indeed! When Mr Katz is put in a box (carrier) he often makes “protest poops”

      • Anonymous

        I think that happens when they are scared. They can’t help it. Poor wittle kiddies!

    • Anonymous

      I agree.  I am not a cat fan at all but that reaction was just too much!  It was one tiny kitten, not a full-grown Bengal tiger that hadn’t been fed in weeks. 

  • http://www.facebook.com/robinmortonmurray Robin Morton Murray

    The way Sunday School Teacher reacted, I truly thought that trunk was full of tarantulas, or anthrax or bloody entrails. Let’s see you make a dress out of that.

  • nancy

    I have a tote bag that EXACTLY matches Fast-Talker’s snakeskin dress. Eeeek.

  • MilaXX

    I so wanted FT to win because SST worked my nerves AND she had the audacity to not like cats.  I also laughed  out loud when Just Raymona was all “she’s crazy & delusional” in the talking head but when she assigned the red velvet gown to her she just said okay. Just was right of course that it was ridiculous to do that type of gown in such a short period of time which is why she ended up having to redo it at the last minute.
    SST first outfit was the best of the lost. The chubby jacket should have been paired with pencil pants and a simple top, hated the last dress.
    FT was just a hot mess. I wish she had just made a regular cape, the gown was okay and the sexy school teacher final look was messy.

  • Anonymous

    Can I just put my nerdy two cents in here and declare that these are not *collections*. Goofy triads of clothes that have only one thing in common (besides whackery and crastastic judging): really awful faux fur that any self-respecting cat would rather go nekkid than adorn itself with it.

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Jane-Morris/1076502799 Jane Morris

    I couldn’t believe the model lady fakeHeidi that never combs her hair liked that velvet mess. The model could barely walk in it.

  • Anonymous

    Damn Disqus!

  • Anonymous

    Boy did I want to slap SST after her Kitty reaction. 
    I love cats! So there’s that.  
    I have 3 of the lil’ divas AND 2 (loved) dogs PLUS I’m an animal keeper at the ZOO.
    So I have more animals in my life and more hair on my clothes than any human should really
     (and still, I’m nutty enough to love them all). 

    I guess I’m a tad prejudice, but what person could not love a kitten,
    especially that one, which was an adorable baby.

    Since I couldn’t smack her,
    my hairy children & I growled at her throughout the rest of the show.  Grrrr/Purrrr.

    • Susan Crawford

      I am SO jealous of your animal keeper zoo job. If you tell me you have access to baby hedgehogs, not to mention ANY marsupials or penguins, I will squee myself to death. Lucky you!

  • Lattis

    Pageant Nerd is like the Ed Wood of Fashion. His look is really, really bad, hammy, and clumsy – but not boring.

  • Susan Crawford

    This cat lover was appalled by SST and her cat-hate. Open a trunk and find an adorable little fur person inside and you reel back in horror? Girl, you are on my slap list.

    Frankly, I wanted Mr. Pageant to stay – I don’t know, but there was something kinda groovy about that cobra-neck dress back-story. Aaanyway, FT at least took a nap, thus giving SST and her team a chance to revel in a few minutes of blessed quiet as they turned out their collection. I liked that tweed dress with the neon trim, but cannot get with the giant plushy hip pads. Loved the idea of a pussy-bow blouse, but with the jacket AND that bulky skirt? No.

    FT and her “Cleocatra” referencing was a hot mess, but Just pulled out the goods and cleaned up the velvet sheath as best she could. But nothing and nobody could talk FT off the ledge and that Little Beige Riding Hood capelet appeared to ill effect.

    So SST takes the $10,000. And FT wanders off, talking a blue streak and giving a little crazy-eye. Somewhere, even as I type this, I know that cats are plotting. I’d be ve-e-e-ery careful, Miss Prissy SST, next time the UPS guy drops off a package on your front porch. Especially if it’s hissing just a tiny bit.

  • Lattis

    This is OT-ish

    Today I pulled up behind a car that had 2 young cats in the back window, each on their own little cat blanket. They were both calm and looking around at everything. They were both happy as clams. I couldn’t believe my eyes. I’ve lived around cats my whole life and I have never known one who liked to ride in a car.

  • Anonymous

    For some reason I’m never able to reply to anyone’s post here or to any replys to my posts.  I don’t know why.

    This is a reply to SUSAN CRAWFORD.  
    Usually I try to reply for a while & give up But I thought I’d reply with a new post ….hope that’s okay.

    I’ve been a ZooKeeper for longer than I care to admit.
    I’ve cared for just about anything you can think of including several years where I was handraising animals for the Zoo education programs.

    I raised several litters of African Hedgehogs.
    The Moms & Dads trusted me and allowed me to participate in the raising of the babies.
    They were the size of small walnuts & so VERY cute. You would have squeed.

    These days the Mother Sumatran Tiger I care for (she trusts & likes me) lets me wrestle & play with her two unbearably cute tiger boy cubs.

    They just turned 4 months old and our play time is ending.

    They are getting up to around 90lbs each and it’s getting a little too easy for them to “love” and play with me to death. :(
    They are always on cuteness overload and my heart has grown many sizes over these months.

    I guess SST would have dropped dead if she had found one of these kitty’s in her box!

    • http://twitter.com/urban_gypsy Urban Gypsy aka Tess

      Okay, now I’m squeeing myself to death too.

      The McCarthy WIldlife Sanctuary in Florida was the closest I’ve gotten to big cats. Close enough to be scary especially when the magnificent lion is roaring. The very definition of feral. You could close your eyes and utterly believe you’re in Africa. I was so jealous of the keeper who gave us a tour, what with the lions and tigers and panthers coming over to nuzzle her when she got close to a cage. 

      • Lattis

        Markatha, 
        I’d like your comment x1000 if I could. Wow. 

  • Anonymous

    I had to watch about 15 minutes of the show (my first time) JUST to get a look at JustRaymona.  She was easily the best thing on the show, deserves her OWN show, and deserves JustCaps every week from you guys!

  • Anonymous

    The seamstress with the dark hair, pale skin, and always wearing a hat…reminds me so much of a transexual guy I know who dresses and identifies as a woman. Not that it matters, but it’s sooo striking, the similarities in facial structure and body language.  I was wondering if anyone else got that vibe from her? Again, not that it matters. I’m just curious.

  • http://janeaustensworld.wordpress.com/ Vic

    Question: Why would anyone really watch this awful show? I gave it two tries and gave it a thumbs down.

  • June Natsuyuki

    Since the last episode of this show has really turned into the JustRaymona show, I think you darlings should do a recap of it.

  • June Natsuyuki

    Since the last episode of this show has really turned into the JustRaymona show, I think you darlings should do a recap of it.