Snakes in a box! Killer kittens! It was WILD KINGDOM on the It’s Just JustRaymona! show last night, darlings!
Our contestants: Barbie, Pageant Nerd, Sunday School Teacher, and Fast-Talker. All have to make something out of cheap, ugly snakeskin print fabric.
We kind of wanted her to stay because she was a bit full of herself and liked to argue with judges. Plus, she made the best garment by far. We understand why they eliminated her. This isn’t Project Runway, where a cheeky designer can bend the rules and get away with it because the judges “want to see more from her.” This is 24Hour Catwalk and no one has time for your bullshit. Sorry, girl. Should’ve used more of the snakeskin.
He was kind of adorably delusional, wasn’t he?
Sunday School Teacher
SST totally got on our nerves with her sniffy need for perfection, but she made the second-best dress, easily.
JESUS CHRIST, this chick got on our nerves. We were so hoping that JustRaymona would come in and JustSlap her, but alas, she was probably prevented from doing so by producers. The dress is hideous, but we agreed with the judges that it was ambitious and shows a great point of view.
So Barbie and Pageant Nerd go home, leaving the Sunday School Teacher and Fast-Talker to slug it out. The collection theme? Kittens! We immediately hate SST because she’s not a cat person. FT is irritating, but at least she likes cats.
The rules are that they have to do a kitty-themed collection and they have to use some shitty faux fur.
Sunday School Teacher
Unsurprisingly, the aesthetic was girly.
Derek actually liked those big fur things, which means Cynthia was clearly passing the pipe. Take them away and this is a surprisingly chic little number. Love the neckline and sleeves, as well as the piping.
Because every designer LOVES taking a size 2 and making her look ENORMOUS. This outfit’s a joke, but we take Cynthia’s point about the interesting design on the jacket. If the volume had been toned down and everything was more tailored, this look might have been great.
The judges raved about this one, but we thought the fabric looked like bedsheets. The neckline and sleeves (again) are quite nice.
Unsurprisingly, the aesthetic was crazy and all over the place.
Too much of everything. You could make either the cape or the catsuit work, but you can’t have both in the same outfit.
This dress should be hideous – and it comes pretty close – but pretty much everything good about this dress comes down to the fact that JustRaymona JustKickedAss on it and remade the whole thing from scratch at the last minute. It’s not perfectly executed, but it’s still damn impressive. Nothing can save those ugly velvets, though.
A joke. Come on now.
In the end, Sunday School Teacher won and we suppose we can’t argue with that even if she is a cat-hater.
[Photo Credit: myLifetime.com]