2012 Vanity Fair Oscar Party Red Carpet – Part TWO

Posted on February 28, 2012

Precious Unborn Fawns, you didn’t think we were done with our Oscars coverage, did you? Silly PUFs. The bitchery doesn’t stop until T & Lo drop, you should know that!

 

Adepero Oduye

Cute. We feel like the proportions on the skirt are a little off; like maybe it should sit slightly lower on her.

 

Anthony Mackie

Looks like a 2nd-year Associate at the company Holiday party. Come on now, Anthony. Button the jacket and get the pants hemmed.

 

Catherine O’Hara

Oh, doll. We have worshipped you since the Lola Heatherton days, but we think this dress might be just a bit too much dress for you.

 

Colin Firth and Livia Giuggioli in Valentino

Shockingly, his pants look a little short. Somewhat less shockingly (but much more amusing) is the fact that her tits look like two wall-mounted soap dishes.

 

Diane Kruger in Calvin Klein

Enh. Not a fan of the “Have you met my bra?” -style dress.

 

Emma Stone in Chanel Couture

…the FUCK?

 

Gerard Butler

 Can’t argue with anything here.

Ginnifer Goodwin in Peter Som

…THE FUCK?

Maybe Ginnifer and Emma can get into a dress-off. Throw them in a cage and have them go at it. The dresses could only be improved by the process.

 

Jackie Collins

Sweetie, you are a literary legend, but your earrings clash with the rest of your outfit.

 

Jane Fonda and Richard Perry

It’s the standard-issue 21st Century Marlene Dietrich dress, all winches and pulleys masked by feathers and beading. We salute her for still being able to pull these tight gowns off, but she does tend to give the impression that she can barely move or breathe in the things. She looks good, though. But the color washes her out.

 

Jason Statham and Rosie Huntington-Whiteley in Antonio Berardi

Is it us or is this the year the female stars finally said “Fuck it. If I want to wear heels, I’m going to damn well wear heels, even if it makes my date look tiny and emasculated?” Lots of ladies towering over their dates.

 

Kelly Lynch

Sorry, honey. Angelina trademarked this pose before the ceremony was even over.

 

Lilly Collins in Monique Lhuillier

We almost feel sorry for her. Because if that little Snow White movie of hers does well, she’ll be stuck wearing these blue princess gowns for the next year.

We’re just kidding. We don’t feel sorry for her at all. And anyone who saw the trailers likely shares our doubt that the movie will do well.

 

Michael Douglas

He’s healthy, and that’s worth saluting, so we won’t mention how the enormous puddle around his ankles makes our eyes twitch.

 

Olga Kurylenko in Georges Hobeika Couture

It looks like a really great dress, but it’s kind of hard to tell against the Vanity Fair Shrubbery. That slit’s a bit high, missy.

 

Olivia Wilde in Gucci

Understated and elegant.

 

Rashida Jones in Elie Saab

Credit for trying, but that’s not her color, the cut makes her look busty and short-waisted, and the hair is a bit of a tragedy. Honey, you’re wearing a gown. Shoot a little higher than second-shift hair.

 

Rosario Dawson in Salvatore Ferragamo

She’s always been one of our fence-jumpers (i.e., we’d jump the fence of our sexual orientation for her), so we’re going to try very hard to assume that this is just a bad picture and that in reality, she was a candy-colored confection that no man and several women couldn’t take their eyes off all night.

But it’s kinda hard with the sad sash and Payless shoes.

 

Selena Gomez in Dolce & Gabbana

Maybe a bit on the serious and mature side, but she looks very pretty.

 

David Beckham and Victoria Beckham in her own design

She’s hilarious. One day she’s going to pose so hard she’ll break something. He, we don’t care what anyone else says, is a genial buffoon who can fill a tux well.

Love the menswear belt on the gown. Chic little touch.

 

[Photo Credit: Getty]

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  • halleygee

    LOL I love the pic of Posh and Becks… we need them standing next to Angie and Brad for a pose-off! Jane Fonda looks amazing… hope you guys don’t drop anytime soon, I’m loving all the coverage and commentary!!

    • tsid2012

      OMG!  That would make an amazing SNL sketch.  Have Posh & Angie doing a fierce as shit crazy pose off with Brad & Becks sitting on the side drinking pints and shots totally laughing their asses off at the absurdity of their wives.  Honestly ladies, take it down a notch…..

      • bitchybitchybitchy

        I’m laughing just picturing this scenario!  Becks does look good in a tux, I”ll give him that.

    • kentiesgirl

      Can’t for the life of me see B&A beating D&V. Brad and Angie seem to phone it in for our pleasure, if you please, while Posh and Becks try, like REALLY try.
      Agree on Jane Fonda…who looks almost the same as in my old exercise tapes (those pulleys are working under there!) and on the hard work you guys are going thru, thanks guys! I love comparing these posts to other news outlets; re: best/worst dressed and picking them to shreds with all my bitter kitten training ;).

    • MissMariRose

       I’m already voting for Posh, just because I know she’s in on the joke and can laugh at herself.

      • LesYeuxHiboux

        I love the woman. She’s like a fashion illustration come to life.

    • http://theargiehome.blogspot.com/ Gus Casals

      I’m all for a Beckhams vs Pitts pose off! it’s be like something out from Zoolander come to life.

    • TxMom2011

      Team Jolie-Pitt!  Angie would mop the floor with Posh…. she’d have to in order to make up for the azz-whoopin Becks would give my beautiful sweet Brad.

    • Sara__B

      How about adding George and Stacy to the competition? I know she’s a newbie, but she’s learning fast.

      • introspective

        Problem with George & Stacy is that theyll be over before the milk in my fridge curdles now that awards season is done. So sadly she wont be around long enough to get an invite to the poseoff.

        That said my cash is all the way on Posh & Becks. Cause Posh’s poses practically involve self induced scoliosis for a mere paparazzi sighting never mind Oscars night.

  • Yulie29

    Surely you can argue with Gerard Butler keeping his hand in his pocket? 

    Jane Fonda, Selena Gomez and Posh (ridiculous posing and all) look good. Olga Kurylenko, too. Rosie should have gone up a
    size; I am not sure how she was able to breathe in that.

  • kentiesgirl

    Pose so hard she’ll break something is my line of the day. Thanks guys!
    Emma looks like she somehow realized her red dress was eating her, and this one was one the verge, so she was frantically cutting random layers off in the limo on the way over.
    Whats up with all the leg poses? Are those a thing now? Ick.
    Selena looks poised and perfect, IMO.
    Not a lot to love on this stretch for me, sadly.

  • sarahofalessergod

    My friend saw the Emma Stone picture yesterday and commented to me, “ooh, she thinks she’s Rooney Mara!”  I don’t know about that, but that dress is just not working AT ALL.

  • kirble

    re: Lily Collins

    Who would want to wear a dress that looks like it’s covered in varicose veins?

    • serenitynow02

      Oh my. You made me look again and, distressingly, that is all I can see now.

    • http://thehathorlegacy.com MaggieCat

       I swear to god, that thing looks exactly like the wallpaper in my grandmother’s bathroom.

  • http://profiles.google.com/shannonlstewart Shannon Stewart

    I do not at all disagree with your assessment of David Beckham.  In fact, that’s what I like about him.

    Selena Gomez is not only in the stylistically tough spot of trying to transition from child star to adult star, but with an extremely young face.  So I forgive her for going the serious route.

    I sincerely doubt that Jason Statham is ever going to worry about his date’s height or her shoe choice.  Just can’t picture it.  In fact, I can’t picture him worrying too much about any sort of photo op crap.

    • Terrie_S

      That was my thought with Selena Gomez. It’s one of those “Please remember that I’m an ADULT” dresses.

      • bitchybitchybitchy

        She and Mylie Cyrus both went for more adult looks for this year’s Oscars and after parties, but I think that Selena pulled this off more succcessfully than Mylie.

    • http://pulse.yahoo.com/_2VBWWGHZEBKTVQMXE5SO5NCU2I Mich

      hah! was just thinking that about The Statham. nothing can emasculate him. he beat up ten guys with an oxford shirt (transporter 3).

  • http://twitter.com/Nancer Nancer

    “One day she’s going to pose so hard she’ll break something…” Love you guys!

  • drdirection

    Victoria is a caricature of herself. 

  • RzYoung

    Victoria Beckham used to really get on my nerves about 10 years ago with her posing, now everyone else poses so hard that hers looks like a comfy classic, it makes me feel safe seeing her with her head tilt and pout. 

  • http://shootingshoes.wordpress.com Amanda Gun

    I think Ginnifer’s dress seems extra terrible since just a few pictures up, we got to see what it will likely grow up to be. I’m almost scared to talk about Emma’s dress in case it jumps me and beats me up tonight! The opaque part looks like a huge nasty horsefly that’s landed on her torso, and the rest of the dress isn’t exactly beautiful either. I’m sure I’d like the shoes in any other context, but  since I’m already thinking about bugs I can’t help but think the toes look like bugs’ eyes. It’s so offensively bad I barely know what to do with myself!

  • serenitynow02

    Precious Unborn Fawns, you didn’t think we were done with our Oscars coverage, did you?
    I figured you guys had fallen asleep over your keyboards.

    I think Posh and Angie should go head to head (or leg to leg) in a pose-showdown like in Zoolander. Wouldn’t that be fun to watch.

  • dress_up_doll

    “…the FUCK?”

    Hahaha.Thank you for that. And as much as I love Chanel, that was my reaction as well.

  • Lilithcat

     He . .  . can fill a tux well.

    And not just a tux.  There is a giant underwear ad starring Mr. Beckham along one of the Chicago expressways.  I’m amazed there aren’t more car crashes at that spot.  It’s very distracting.

  • glennethph

    Rosie can never make Jason Statham tiny or emasculated.  Actually, he doesn’t care if she towers over him — he’s that secure, I think, unlike Tom Cruise.

    • http://thehathorlegacy.com MaggieCat

      Probably true. What’s unfortunate in that photograph is that the way Rosie Huntington-Whiteley is standing makes her look like a mannequin being rolled in on a dolly.

    • BerlinerNYC

      Word. The day he will ever look emasculated. That man gives me the vapors every time I see him.

      • http://twitter.com/rgmx Mercy

        Look up masculinity in the dictionary and Statham is there, dripping sweat and testosterone.  Delicious.

    • emcat8

      Well, I did have to grudgingly give Cruise credit back in the day… his previous wives have towered over him and he didn’t seem to mind. 

      Jason probably loves it. Makes him very “Handsome Rob”-like. (Although the whole comment about a woman being taller than her date emasculating him makes this just-under-6-foot woman very twitchy.)

  • http://twitter.com/TheRedZavodnik Ginger

    Victoria Beckham sure does design some chic-as-shit clothes, doesn’t she (or her minions do…either way)?

    I can argue with a lot about Gerard Butler…beginning with THAT HAIR.

  • Lori

    My eye brows went up higher & higher the more I scrolled down the picture of Emma Stone. What in the world was she thinking with that? Same goes for Ginnifer Goodwin. I think her dress may be marginally better than Emma’s, but only because there’s less of it.

    • kimmeister

      I think Ginnifer’s in marginally better too, because I like the marble-esque print on it.  Her shoes, however, are AWFUL!

    • http://profiles.google.com/sara.e.munoz Sara Munoz

      She’s pulling it off because of the hairdo. But…. it’s still ugly. Just not as ugly as Emma’s.

  • Jennifer Coleman

    Well, even though Rosario had a case of Angelinaleg, hers is much more appetizing.
    Ginnifer’s wack dress is par for the course but Emma Stone? is her stylist schizophrenic?
    I love the color of Olga’s dress, but feel the urge to cover my crotch from the elements.
    Wow, is that not Rashida Jones’ color.
    I’m actually adoring Posh’s gown, when I’m not cracking up about that ridiculous pose.

  • http://twitter.com/arodenha Alli

    Emma Stone looks like a glamorous beetle is eating her torso.

  • http://joyouslifesf.wordpress.com Kiltdntiltd

    It is my profound hope that Ms. OHara meant that dress to be a sight gag, cause, love her as I do, that thing is a sight, and its making me gag.

    • kirble

      It’s a real-life continuation of her role in “For Your Consideration.”

      • http://joyouslifesf.wordpress.com Kiltdntiltd

        Please, can we get “Home For Purim” a belated Oscar?

    • janetjb

       I see an owl in her dress.

  • http://twitter.com/MisterFiq Rafiq Mohamad

    Gosh T&Lo! I’m shocked that you guys did not even noticed how it’s not Olivia Wilde, but just her head being screwed on top of a body that’s wearing a Gucci dress! 

  • http://profile.yahoo.com/C5V2EGUMM2GBH5YBQ74Y4SUOQM Maev

    I once worked in a Manchester United merchandising shop, where I had to listen to David Beckham interviews on repeat.  After that, I couldn’t possibly disagree with genial buffoon.

  • BigShamu

    Snort!  The TLo PUF Army. 

    Who is designing our uni’s?

    • http://pulse.yahoo.com/_6RS6NLL44AED3E4QWIYTDQGU6I Psy_Chick

      Made even funnier by the fact that in the UK “puff” means gay person, usually male. (I may have just stated the obvious there.)

  • ChaquitaPhilly

    So Emma Stone took off that wonderful red dress and put on ??????
    WHY!

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Patrick-Cleary/1201575213 Patrick Cleary

    The Beckhams always make me laugh. She looks like she has to keep him from drowning in the nearest puddle, and he either looks like he’s just been told he can eat all the candy he wants or to look like a Big Mean Lion does.

  • Stefanos Mantyla

    I cannot pick any clear winners, but I THINK Olga Kurylenko and Olivia Wilde made the top two. Rosie Huntington-Whitely also looks great, but as ever. And Selena Gomez cleaned up well, too.

    Losers? Aside from the two obvious ones (though Emma Stone’s Chanel, the dress itself, I think can work, but only on a professional dress-wearer on a runway. Nowhere else. Ginnifer’s just does not work in any circumstance.)? Lilly Collins, possibly Kelly Lynch, and if based on the photo, Rosario Dawson.

  • colleenjanel

    Speaking of “Have you met my bra” … what about Sherrie Shepherd on the Rec Carpet? At least on Diane Kruger, it looked like a design element. On Sherrie, it looked like a mistake. Sherrie dear, we don’t want to see your Cross Your Heart!

  • lovelyivy

    Ginnifer Goodwin and a bunch of starlets reeeeeeally want to be Rooney Mara, huh? She tries so hard to do ‘edgy’ and it always looks like ‘soccer Mom trying too hard’. I want her to run, not walk, to Carolina Herrerra and stay there.

  • Lori

    More Oscar ceremony RC posts too, right?   Because you haven’t said anything about Viola Davis’ look!

  • Tashina Savage

    I disagree! That color belongs to Rashida. I think it looks fantastic on her, and so does the dress. It’s the best she has looked in a long time to me.

  • Cousin_Rose

    Can’t hate on Emma no matter what she wears and I wan’t a fan of the red bow. Her routine at the Oscars was so good, I’m going to be a fan for a long time. So many of the “actors” just get up there and read lines.  She inhabited that character.

    • http://twitter.com/ms_smartiepants Beth M.

      Emma inhabited that character SO well, I said to the room at large, “Wow, is she plastered?” And my 5 and 8 year olds said, “What’s ‘plastered,’ mom?” Whoops!

  • PeggyOC

    I don’t think that’s too much dress for Catherine O’Hara, but she was betrayed by her hair and makeup person, who gave her eraser head and squinty eyes.  I think that’s keeping her from selling it with her inherent fabulosity.

    • bitchybitchybitchy

      However she’s dressed, the woman is a living national treasure….just wish her stylist had done a better job!

  • Violina23

    Kelly Lynch’s dress looks like it is clinging to her boobs for dear life (an
    d is losing the battle)

    • bitchybitchybitchy

      Is it just me, or does Kelly Lynch look gaunt?

  • PeggyOC

    Another scary note.  Did any one see the shots of Melanie Griffiths at the awards and think she was Jane Fonda?   Jane looks great, but Melanie looks the same, and is what, 30 years younger?

  • http://twitter.com/RamenRanch Lebogang Mogashoa

    Rashida Jones makes me weep. I adore her. But her red carpet turns just make me want to shake her. Like that friend who has so much going for her but just doesn’t realise it. She’s uncommonly beautiful but she consistently looks like unsweetened oatmeal.

  • Scarlet39

    What is going on with Adepero Oduye’s feet?  Is that yellow polish?  It looks kind of… odd. 

    • kimmeister

      It does look odd, but I think it would look even worse on a lighter skinned woman.

  • ChristySchiff

    Ha!  I scrolled down on the Emma Stone dress to find myself reading *exactly* what I’d just shouted at my computer!

  • chelwi

    I think Diane Kruger looks amazing. Not even put off by the “bra.”

  • RzYoung

    Also I love being a ‘PUF’ ;)

  • siriuslover

    I refuse to accept the notion that Colin Firth looks anything but shockingly fantastic. The hem must be pulling on something.

    Selena looks very chic, but where’s the Biebs?

    And Posh, oh Posh, are you double jointed? Because I’m pretty sure that shoulders don’t do that in real life.

  • http://twitter.com/IamDaBee Antonija Mitt

    Wow–what does it mean when the best looking gals on the RC are Jane Fonda at age 100 something, and Selena Gomez who’s barely outta puberty?  You prime-of-your-life women better start stepping up a bit….

    Besides those two, though, Olivia FTW in this bunch.  And for gosh sake’s Victoria–just stop it.  What is so awful in your life that you have to be so stupidly dour all the time?  If you look like that long enough, you’ll have that Zoolander face forever. 

    BTW–I hope Kelly Lynch was striking that pose as a joke, as it’s pretty funny.

  • bluefish

    Posh is indeed hilarious.  Lots of meh looks here.  Too bad about Livia G — not a good boob look.  And I can’t take anymore legbombing today. Rosie of the hyphenated looks good in her red dress. The black cut-out veil creations are so unflattering–can’t the ladies see that?

  • schadenfreudelicious

    love Posh but she always flexes those neck tendons so tight when she poses… i fear she’ll be in need of a whiplash collar soon (a fur one of course.)

  • http://bonobochick.livejournal.com/ D.

    If Ginnifer and Emma are going to be in a cage match, you’ll have to toss Zoe Saldana in there too for her similar looking mess of a dress.

  • altalinda

    How do the stars and starlets do it?  And by “do it,” I mean change their outfits 2 or 3 times on Oscar (or Grammy or…) night, because I don’t see them hauling garment bags and makeup kits.  Does each come with a stylist or two or three?  How big is the backstage area to handle all of the extra stuff?  Do they rent hotel rooms nearby to accomplish the switch?  Seems unlikely that they drive home to do it.

    • serenitynow02

      You mean they don’t just change in the bathroom like the rest of us?

    • homespunner

      the limo?

  • miagain

    I think Victoria Beckham is really a cardboard cutout… 

    • BigWhiteGrannyPanties

      She just looks mean.  Like Really Mean and All the Time Mean.   Ugh.  I wish she were a cardboard cutout.

  • formerlyAnon

    Perhaps because I find Olivia Wilde, Selena Gomez & Posh, none of whom broke out into a color, the best of this lot [Ms. Huntington-Whitely's not bad, but seems cookie-cutter generic], I find Ms. Kurylenko’s dress oddly compelling.

    Oddly because there’s fluffy stuff stuck all over it, not usually my thing. I must be seduced by the color.

    Jane Fonda’s been churning out this “it’s my job to look good” schtick for over 50 years now. She knows how to do it but it makes me tired to think about it.

    Lily Collins’ dress is wearing her.

    I give Jackie Collins a pass on the earrings. If they’d matched her red trim it’d have been worse. Plus, I’m guessing she & Jane Fonda spend equivalent amounts of money on their faces & hair, and Jackie looks like she’s having more fun.

    • Sweetbetty

      ” I give Jackie Collins a pass on the earrings. If they’d matched her red trim it’d have been worse”

      Will someone please explain the current rule about the color of accessories?  Back in the day it was expected to match your accessories, if not to the clothing you were wearing then to each other.  I would have worn a pair of red earrings with Ms. Collins’ outfit in a minute.  Now I see celebs and runway looks getting complimented for accessories that have no relation to the color of the clothing and I just don’t get it but accept it’s the style of the moment.  So if Jackie’s earrings aren’t the right color and red would have been worse (and I suspect black would also have been unacceptable) then what would have been a good color earring for this outfit and why?

      • formerlyAnon

        Hope somebody offers up the “current rule.”  *I’m* no expert, having an unreliable color sense & in my own life I get by just fine with matchy-matchy most of the time. If I knew that *I* were going to be photographed whenever I went anywhere, I’d have to hire a stylist and would probably turn into one of those fashion victims who slavishly do what ever the stylist recommends.

        Here, I thought the violet (?) earrings look better with her hair & makeup than red would, and I thought the big red earrings matching clutch and trim on the suit would be very ’80s looking – which for me is a negative.  But I sure don’t know if the real fashionistas would agree with me. 

  • Judy_J

    Thanks for the Lola Heatherton clip.  SCTV had it all over SNL back in the day.

    • rawrgrowlrawr

      I want those dancers to follow me everywhere. That clip was great. 

  • BigWhiteGrannyPanties

    GENIAL BUFFOON.  I am going to use this phrase three times today, just because I love it so much.

  • http://korilian.livejournal.com/ korilian

    I kind of think that Diane Krugers bra is the nicest piece of clothing here. Seriously where can I get that bra? 0_o

  • BazoDee

    WOW -there is a whole lot of WTF going here. I’m not usually a fan of the “have you met my bra” dress either but Diane Kruger looks amazing. 

  • http://theargiehome.blogspot.com/ Gus Casals

    Emma Stone’s dress looks like an insect costume. Those hip wings seal the trick.
    And Ms. Firth, tit ornaments aside, looks completely overdressed for the event. 

  • quiltrx

    Mmm, you have given me a VERY good start to my morning!  Now I can imagine myself in a Butler/Statham/Beckham pile for the next few hours.

  • http://profiles.google.com/dorothymichael Dorothy & Michael n/a

    I saw Michael Douglas on the Oscars of course, and I’m sure he’s probably fine, but his eyes don’t look so good to me.

  • nannypoo

    Victoria Beckham often comes off as hostile and toxic. The picture here is a good example. The clothes at this party are so bad we should all be flattered that we weren’t invited.

    • http://www.facebook.com/people/Charlotte-Sanders/100000745060624 Charlotte Sanders

       But she really isn’t!  Remember when she had the reality show and she and Becks were supposed to take over California?  She was absolutely adorable in that show! Great sense of humor and very willing to laugh at herself.  Surprised the hell outta me,  I’ll tell you.  Her whole pose thing is just that, a pose!  I love the way he’s smiling as if to say, “Isn’t she adorable??”

  • https://profiles.google.com/104791269167429064986?hl=en&tab=h Judy S

    Thanks for the crack about the soap dishes. Made my day.

  • Pants_are_a_must

    Olivia Wilde looks like a character in “Mars Attacks!” with that choker.

    There was a lot of dress fuckery post-Oscars this year, wasn’t there?

  • Pants_are_a_must

    Also, why does it matter if a lady towers over her date? Are we in the 1950s?

  • Lilak

    Stone & Goodwin’s WTFs make Bosworth’s look a whole lot less “frightening” now, huh TLo?  

    V. attractive colored pencil Statham brought to the party . . . 
    (but what’s this about a taller woman being/seeming “emasculating”??  Whoa!!)

  • Jessi03

    I burst out laughing at that final picture!  Posh Spice is hilarious.

  • SpcilK

    All hail Queen Victoria! She weeks like rent is due, I dig her.

  • http://profile.yahoo.com/R5SPO7OLLQU5LMGC557SHAVB5I Jenna

    No, Emma Stone!  Nooooooooooo!

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Julie-Chase/731391326 Julie Chase

    Posh is a treasure.

  • http://twitter.com/KristinJeannie Kristin Haughney

    Clearly, Olga Kurylenko didn’t go to the Angelina Jolie/Lea Michele School of Posing. You’re supposed to stick your leg OUT of the slit!

  • http://desilluist.tumblr.com/ Briarnoir

    I have come to the opinion that Ginnifer Goodwin just shows up to these events looking to troll the other stars…and possibly the media.  Photos of her for the other 95% of her life never look this cracked out. Yet when she shows up to these things it’s like watching an attempt to play at edgy, Gothic dilettante who forget that she was /only/ wearing her lingerie and panniers. Oppsie! How marvelously scandalous, Darling. Please. Yes come over here and point out that Emma Stone /also/ forgot the gown to go over her under-boning.

  • nancylee61

    Victoria Beckham – is there a more miserable human being on the planet?? Love her dress, her puss face ruins the whole look. Beckham – meh. He is handsome, but I just saw a pic of him with those tattoes and I was seriously disturbed – every inch of his arms are covered. What the hell?
    And Rosie whatever her name is, and what does she do again?? For such a skinny woman, she needs to lay off the booze, as she has a little gut. Or forgot her Spanz.

    • http://twitter.com/yankeefoxtrot Alex McGeagh

      Uh, some of us like that…I can’t imagine what must happen to you when you watch the evening news, if a few tattoos scare you…

      • nancylee61

        The evening news doesn’t scare me, but covering yourself in ink does. It is just a taste issue. I will respect your right to like tattoos all over your body and I appreciate you respecting my right to find it gross.

    • Caaro3

      Actually, those are RHW’s internal organs on display.  

  • granddelusion

    I love the smirk on Firth’s face, like he knows his wife’s boobs are soap caddies, but he’s humoring her anyway. And Fonda looks great, but her BF looks stoned out of his mind. As for Douglas, he certainly looks less than healthy, but he is standing. That’s something.

  • granddelusion

    And “genial buffoon”! In a nutshell!

  • NCDFan

    One thing is for sure. Just because the dress came from a famous design house doesn’t mean it’s a good design. Valentino, Chanel Couture, Peter Som, and Salvatore Ferragamo are all represented in the ‘no one could make this dress look good’ stakes here.

  • snarkykitten

    Colin Firth’s date looks like she should be modeling next to a brand new refrigerator! on a 60s game show

  • BookishBren

    Kelly Lynch has had so much “dental work” done, that I would never have recognized. Okay, I still don’t. 

  • Susan Crawford

    David Beckham looks so handsome that I believe I felt the earth move. Victoria IS hilarious. Loved her dress, though.
    Adepero Oduye: a great little dress, I thought.
    Catherine O’Hara: Oh, honey. No.
    Jackie Collins: I just love that the bitch is still rocking the eighties look! Big hair, big shoulders, wrist-chain baglet, black and power-red combo and all.
    Kelly Lynch: Put that leg away. You’re too late.
    Olivia Wilde: Immaculate!
    Selena Gomez: A little disconcerting to see that baby-face above such a sexy woman dress, but she looked great!
    Rosario and Rashida: Second and Third Prize winners in the Ugly Color Combination Contest.
    Lily Collins: won the “rock, paper, scissors” contest with Michelle Williams over this dress by hitting the Elvish Princess with a moss-covered rock from the Enchanted Pool of Preciosity.

     

  • HengRu

    Jason Statham looks like a guest at a black-tie fundraiser who, in return for his charitable donation, has been allowed to pose for a picture with a cardboard cutout of Rosie Huntington-Whiteley.

  • Anathema_Device

    I thought Guiggioli’s dress bodice looked more like window boxes. She needs geraniums growing outta those things.

  • ThaliaMenninger

    Jane Fonda is starting to look like Carol Burnett. Never saw that coming.

    I like Lilly Collins’ dress a lot. It’s just different enough to amuse me. And I’m wondering if the aggressive, almost feral Posh look is what made Angie do the Home Plate crouch all night as an attempt to be Fierce Like Posh.

  • JaneDC

    The Monique Lhuillier gown Lilly Collins is wearing looked so wonderful with red on lace the runway during fashion week. I don’t understand how it got transformed into this much less impressive dress.

  • Myrtaceae

    I think red is a fantastic color on Rosie, but doesn’t the angle of that picture look like she’s falling over backwards and he’s holding her up?

    I’m 5″ taller than my husband and some people have a really hard time getting past it. He’s short for a guy, and I’m on the tall side– but I don’t think people would make the same comments about his height that they do if he was with a short girl.

    Anyway, I don’t wear heels much anymore because of an ankle injury, but before that I did. Tall girls have the same rights to pseudo-toned looking calves as everyone else. Plus, I could reach the high cupboards in the kitchen.

  • cybele phillips

    i have to disagree with the idea that a woman being the taller part of the couple somehow emasculates the man. shame on trotting out that old gender stereotype, T-Lo! tom cruise aside, since he obviously has much bigger issues than his hight; i think i man that isn’t afraid to stand next to a taller woman is awesome.

  • PinkLemon

    Lola Heatherton! YES! “I’ll break your christmas balls.” hahaha luh. huh.

  • SublimatedRage

    Beg to differ, my Lords, but when has Jason Statham ever been emasculated?  That man is sex on a stick!

    • poggi

       I agree.  Maybe the women are saying what the heck, but the men are too.  Maybe having a tall date just means you are cool enough to get a model.

  • TxMom2011

    I did a double-take…. I sincerely thought that picture was of Carrie Fisher… not Jane Fonda.

    I thought Olga Kurly-Q’s dress was gorgeous (just needs a slit adjustment)

  • fwooper

     The slit in Olga Kurylenko’s dress is terrifying. How did she not flash everybody?

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=1183939371 Carla Gonzalez Burkhard

    Why, why didn’t Emma Stone stay in that gorgeous Lanvin???  Talk about a step down!

  • lucasuk82

    I am in love with the colors of Rosario’s gown and they’re fantastic on her, but that’s where the love ends.  There has to be a middle ground between having paid lint roller and being winkled mess.

    TLo, thank you so much for all these posts, it has been awesome.

    • MilaXX

       It’s a good idea of a dress, but all the fabric is making her look chunky.

  • http://profiles.google.com/sara.e.munoz Sara Munoz

    My favorite part about Posh’s pose, is that she looks like a continuation of the “T” in the background.

  • Caaro3

    Jane Fonda is unrecognizable.  Even her hair has had plastic surgery!

  • Amy_R

    Bless you for your Lola Heatherton reference. “I love her so much its Scary!”

  • SF_Gal

    Vickie Becks does the same (stupid) pose every single time in every single picture.  I, for one, am OVER IT.

    Love her clothing line, btw.

  • MilaXX

    Why did they pose Lily Collins in front of the television monitor?

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=606614458 Levin Chin

    I’m pretty sure Emma and Ginnifer’s dresses are actually two halves of the same dress.  You have to put one on over the other, rotate the bits into place and voilà – all the elements present a unifed and covered-up facade …

    But was it just me who thought TLo’d called Jackie Collins a “leathery” genius?

  • Elizabetta1022

    Thank you for the Lola Heatherton mention! Because “I’m taking my own head, screwing it on right, and no man’s gonna tell me that it ain’t!” (Though that was when she played Sue “the big bopper” Simpson, technically.)

  • yulaffin

    Does Victoria Beckham ever smile?

    • formerlyAnon

      I’ve read somewhere that she doesn’t like how she photographs smiling.

      Clearly being too thin & too rich doesn’t make one stop being too hyper-self-critical.

      • Lisa

        Yeah, I heard that about her way back from when she was in The Spice Girls.

  • DominoEstella

    I love Lily Collins dress.  I knew you guys would hate it but I think it’s amazingly beautiful.  I envy her ability to pull it off.

  • SheWhoMustBeObeyed

    Kelly Lynch, strapless is not your friend, esp. when the top is so low it makes it appear that your nipples must be located somewhere around your waist. That dress makes you look bony and your “fierce” look makes you look a little crazy.

  • SorayaS

    Whoa didn’t Gerard Butler just come out of rehab?! He looks super sharp.

    For some reason VB can do no wrong in my eyes. I think she looks gorgeous and is one of the few that can make really dark polish look elegant rather than tacky.

  • http://tigergray.blogspot.com/ Tiger Gray

    I like Emma’s dress. I think because it’s so crazy, and she looks like she loves the fact that it’s crazy. I like the strap across her collarbone, too. I have a quibble: surely a woman being taller than the man she’s standing next to doesn’t “emasculate” him? I rather think the idea of being emasculated is a bit icky, anyway, since it usually seems to be code for “I don’t like having the trappings of traditional male power and dominance taken away.” 

    • http://profiles.google.com/sara.e.parker Sara Parker

      As a tall woman, I can tell you that emasculation is 100% in the eyes of the man you’re with. Some men will freak out if you’re even half an inch taller, while others could not care less that you’re 4 inches taller. Jason Statham, I suspect, is comfortable enough in his Professional Badass reputation to not feel emasculated by a taller woman. But there are others who would certainly feel that way, I suspect.

  • turtleemily

    Victoria Beckham in her own design

    So everyone that wraps a towel around them after a shower is a designer, now?

  • Singforyoursupper

    The Beckhams are completely laughable. They take themselves way too seriously.

  • http://angryfemur.tumblr.com Andrea Lane

    Is Michael Douglas wearing shoes?

  • http://twitter.com/cornekopia Shawn EH

    Somebody’s very proud of being married to Colin Firth! Catherine O’Hara is in on the joke of that dress, Ginifer Godwin is convinced she’s more radical than she is, while Emma Stone is lucky to be as funny as she is pretty. When did Jason and Rosie become a Brit supercouple?

  • Vodeeodoe

    If anything Jason will probably use that girl to stylishly pole vault out of the party when the terrorists attack.

  • bitterk

    Victoria and Angelina should have a pose off.

  • http://twitter.com/mediapileup mediapileup

    “Is it us or is this the year the female stars finally said “Fuck it. If I
    want to wear heels, I’m going to damn well wear heels, even if it makes
    my date look tiny and emasculated?”

    Yes! Over breakfast on Monday I told my husband how short RDJ was next to Gwyneth and how Ben Stiller is miniscule (Emma Stone isn’t that tall, right? And yet she towered over him.) Then we started speculating on whether stars like Cruise have it in their contracts that they have to appear alone or with short ladies when presenting awards.

    Nothing can kill my love for the Statham, but I am a little disappointed that he isn’t 6’3” like he looks on film.

    • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=1077090078 Megan Sullivan

      whoops, commented on the wrong one.

    • http://pissiechrissie.tumblr.com/ Chrissie

      I recall that in Nicole Kidman’s post-divorce interview with Letterman, she joked that she was finally allowed to wear heels. Except I think she was being really serious. And once Kidman was wearing heels, I think it’s become more socially acceptable (for which I’m happy about).

  • emcat8

    OK, I’ll bite and be the dumb one who asks, What does PUF stand for? In my defense, I have been a) traveling and have missed many posts and a lot of general Internet lately b) am recovering from a whopping case of food poisoning and still kind of foggy, and c) generally suffer from initialism and acronym blindness.

    • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=1077090078 Megan Sullivan

      Precious Unborn Fawns. I was confused until I reread from the beginning :)

      • emcat8

        Arg, I feel so stupid that I couldn’t parse that out. I kept re-reading it, too. I guess I must have been even sicker than I imagined.

  • Judih1

    Thanks TLO for all the great Oscar and Oscar party coverage – you guys are the best. The #1 fashion and reality show blog in the universe

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Lara-Lutrick/1222052998 Lara Lutrick

    Victoria’s pose reminds me of this video on YouTube, normal women posing like fashion models, they look ridculous, as does she (like the dress though, very sleek).

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GPEcdcmnAA0

  • Derek_anny

    TLo, did you see Rosario’s movie Girl Walks into a Bar?  Because not enough people have.  It’s an ensemble piece set up as several vignettes.
    But I’m with you on that dress.

    In other news, Colin and Livia look like they’re in a magazine spread.

  • http://twitter.com/ennisamy Amy Ennis

    It looks like Jason Statham brought a mannequin with him. She doesn’t even look real. 

  • http://www.facebook.com/shreya.aren Shreya Aren
  • mike__tv

    LOL, Emma’s dress has taken her hostage, either that or she forgot the safety word, psst it’s “Lindsey”, i could do this forever. Emma looks like she got t p’d by a goth, not satisfied with a chastity belt emma invents the chastity dress. …the fuck indeed. However,  she is still hot as a tin roof and can be forgiven for this self hating dress. Maybe Jim Carey dressed her so she couldn’t run away. 

  • sleah_in_norcal

    posh looks so loaded she’s about to fall over.

  • miwome

    I know I am WAY late, but I just had to say that it takes more than a tall woman to emasculate Jason f’ing Statham (as the Fug Girls might put it).