2012 Vanity Fair Oscar Party Red Carpet – Part ONE

Posted on February 27, 2012

Darlings, it was the Vanity Fair Oscar party! Where people who weren’t invited to the main event get dressed up and people who were invited to the main event get dressed down! Let’s judge!

Abbie Cornish in Tommy Hilfiger

Simple and perfect.


Amy Adams in Vivienne Westwood

Wow. This is kind of a departure for her. The skirt’s weird and the shoes take it into cougar territory, though. Above the knees, she looks great.


Anderson Cooper

Perfection. Why’d you have to ruin it by putting your hand in your pocket?


Bradley Cooper

Not loving the fit, which makes him look thick around the middle. It’s possible Bradley has a little gut, but let’s face it: it’s not very likely.


Cameron Diaz in Victoria Beckham

Fan-fucking-tastic color on her.


Chris Evans

Oh, come ON. We don’t give a shit how hot you are, you don’t pose on the red carpet like a groomsman at the end of the night. Jacket buttoned, hands at your side. It’s for all of 5 minutes, tops. You delicate studs should be able to handle it since the ladies are all tottering around on heels that practically guarantee foot surgery before they turn sixty.


Elizabeth Banks in Chadwick Bell

It’s such an unusual dress that we kind of love it just for being unusual. It’s a bit much, but the Vanity Fair party is where “a bit much” goes to die.


Elizabeth Olsen in Christian Dior

Hate the skirt, hate the purse, hate the miserable puss.


January Jones in Wes Gordon

Another dress that’s so weird we almost love it just for being weird.

We said “almost.” Love the colors on her and love the skirt and leather sash, but the top is fussy and messy. Kinda digging the “They Shoot Horses, Don’t They?” hair.


Jennifer Lopez in Zuhair Murad Couture

It’s like someone took her Oscars dress and dumped pig’s blood on it.

Having said that, she looks spectacular.


Jon Hamm and Jennifer Westfeldt in Johanna Johnson

We’d like her dress a lot more if it didn’t have that plunging neckline. He looks perfect.


Kate Bosworth in Prabal Gurung

Hold us, kittens. That is one frightening dress.


Miley Cyrus in Roberto Cavalli

Aw, let’s hear it for the old gal! Seventy-eight years YOUNG!


Paula Patton in Naeem Khan

CANNOT STAND how she poses on the red carpet. This isn’t the Adult Video Awards, honey. Stop looking at every camera like you want to blow it.

Her skirt’s too high and her babyheads are squealing in pain.


Rachel Zoe

Simple, but impeccably styled, of course. We don’t love the hair, but it’s her signature look and we probably wouldn’t recognize her if she wore it up or blew it out.


Sean Combs

Anyone catch him getting out of his limo and getting the full lint-roll from some sycophant? We want that. We want to get out of limos and have some queen be there waiting for us with a lint roller.

Pants need hemming.


Shailene Woodley in Proenza Schouler

Cute dress. Horribly matchy shoes.


Zoe Saldana in Marios Schwab

Our disappointment is a bottomless well of grief. Easily the worst she’s ever looked. We’re going to spend the rest of the afternoon drinking this memory away.


[Photo Credit: Getty]

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  • Diane_G

    I LOVE Liz Bank’s dress..think it suits her personality. I bout shot orange juice out of my nose when reading your JLo comment, but it’s sooo right.

  • Agree completely about Zoe, and I NEVER think she looks bad. Love Elizabeth Bank’s dress, and I can’t believe I’m saying that about polka dots and feathers.  And lastly, DAY-UM, Cameron. 

    •  I think she always looks like a miserable ghoul.  Clothes, hair and makeup can only take someone so far and there never seems to be any joy in what she does.  Even Nina can crack a smile on occasion.  Zoe is just awful.

      • Elaine Lang

         Wait…do you mean Rachel Zoe or Zoe Saldana?

        • Rache Zoe. Totally forgot about Saldana.  She’s a lovely young woman who can almost make that horrible dress she’s wearing look good precisely because there always seems to be joy about her.

  • LOVE Cameron and Elizabeth Banks, as opposite in style as the two gowns are. I think Kate Bosworth’s is different and great! Not scary, but scary fierce?

  • I am always curious why the “eat-a-sandwich” crowd never throw that phrase at Zoe.  Look at her face!  She could use a pie or ten.  

    • BrooklynBomber

      I know. I used to  mock the eat a sandwich crowd, but at the rate she & Angelina are going, next year they’ll have to be wheeled in on handtrucks, and by 2014 they’ll be holograms.

      • Little_Olive

        Totally. Have you *seen* her legs?? And people fail to keep in mind that thin on screen means emaciated in real life. 
        While we’re on it. compare Kate B’s head to her body. Wha?

  • NC_Meg

    Can someone do something with Shailene Woodley’s hair? Just once? She has long, pretty hair but usually opts for plain ponytails.

    • MilaXX

       I don’t think she’s ever dressed or styled that well. 

      • NC_Meg

         She’s really not. I know she’s new to A-list red carpets but get a stylist or something.

  • Mariah J

    Elizabeth Banks looks fierce.
    “It’s like someone took her Oscars dress and dumped pig’s blood on it.” I DIED

    • MilaXX

       JLo needs to take her tits and go sit down.

  • SewingSiren

    Never mind her dress, who is Rachel Zoe looking at with those laser beam eyes? And are they still alive now?

    • Maybe she’s the one who dumped pig’s blood on Jlo’s dress.

    • Lori

      My theory is that she overheard someone comment that it looks like she forgot to put on her dress and came to the party in a towel.

      I could be wrong.

  • EEKstl

    I LOVE Elizabeth Bank’s dress – the right kind of cray cray.  January is SOCLOSE to perfection, love the colors and hair but the top is a bit weird and not in a good way.  Zoe is a head-scratcher.  When has this woman ever made a misstep?  Well, now, I guess.

  • mom2ajs5

    Cameron Diaz does look great in that color! I also like Elizabeth Banks’ dress, but it looks very familiar. Why do I think I’ve seen it, or something very similar to it, before?

  • BrooklynBomber

    “Pig’s blood” – I love how specific that is.

    “Aw, let’s hear it for the old gal! Seventy-eight years YOUNG!”  – perfect!

  • Scarlet39

    Does anyone else notice a weird outline around Elizabeth Banks’ tummy?  I like the dress just fine, but something is off around the midsection. 

    • DinaSews

      I agree.  It looks like it’s pulling a little.  It may be an illusion because I think it looks like it’s pulling on her thighs too.  Still love it for being different though.

  • serenitynow02

    The bottom half of Elizabeth Olsen’s dress looks like it is made from spare tires. I really love January Jones’ look; the color, the hair, all of it. She looks like old Hollywood, in a good way. I like this dress of Cameron Diaz much, much more than the one she wore to to the ceremony. Jennifer Westfeldt, of course, has the best accessory of the evening.

  • SpcilK

    I love January Jones and Elizabeth Banks dresses. Zoe Saldana is a mess, not the first time and it won’t be the last!

    • CozyCat

      Yeah, Zoe’s dress is awful.  But I really like the fact that she takes risks.  So many of these people rely on stylists who put them in gowns that look nice, but then it’s nice dress, after nice dress after nice dress….

      On another note:  I LOVE that you guys mentioned Sean Combs’ curb side grooming session.  When I saw it happened, I screamed at the TV:  “P Diddy has gays!  P Diddy has gays!”

      • Diddy looked like a dog being groomed for Westminster. The lint rolling went on for so long, I thought the guy was going to rub the black off him.

  • sagecreek

    OMG. Elizabeth Olsen’s sisters finally locked her in a closet and indoctrinated her.

    Sad. She was so fresh and original…

    • Little_Olive

      Yep, supporting my theory that she is their mother who sucked the life outta them as girls to stay young, but the well has gone empty and now they are all old.  

    • AnaRoW

      Oh come on, she was smiling earlier. She just looks tired. The dress is ugly but so are most of the dresses she wears.

      • Warmheartedgirl Seattle

        WTH is a 14 year old (she IS 14, right?) doing at an after party anyway?  Go home and go to bed, little missy!

        • AnaRoW

          No, she’s in her early 20s.

        •  Maybe you are thinking of Elle Fanning, Dakota’s little sis? Mary-Kate and Ashley ARE Elizabeth’s older sisters, but we’re talking about 25 year olds and their “little” sister who is 23.

          • Warmheartedgirl Seattle

            Yep, I was thinking of Elle Fanning.  My bad…  🙂

          • Warmheartedgirl Seattle

            Yep, I was thinking of Elle Fanning.  My bad…  🙂

          • Warmheartedgirl Seattle

            Yep, I was thinking of Elle Fanning.  My bad…  🙂

  • lucasuk82

    No lie – I thought Miley Cyrus was Kate Winslet.  I like the idea of everything January Jones is wearing and how she’s styled, but somehow, she looks like Margaret Truman.  How is that possible?

    • sagecreek

      Oh, you are MEAN! I like that in a person…

  • VicksieDo

    Oh how I would kill to be JLo for just one day!  She’s so gorgeous.

  • Greg Yoder

    I saw a photo of Zoe Saldana taken from the filming of the Star Trek sequel they’re shooting now, and she looks so great as Lieutenant Uhura that what she’s wearing in this picture is an even bigger disappointment.

  • emeazul

    Somebody on here who’s good at the photoshop should swap Miley and Paula’s heads. I sincerely believe that they are attached on the wrong bodies right now!

    • MilaXX


      • emeazul

        Can I like this to infinity??? MilaXX: THANK YOU!! I don’t know if it made sense to you, but in my head that’s how I saw these two.

        Granted, nothing can take away from Paula’s awful posing smirk, but it’s a vast improvement. YAY! thanXXs!

        • MilaXX

           It’s a good idea Paula would look great not showing the babyheads and Miley could definitely dress younger.

  • Little_Olive

    JLo needs to stop with the ubertight bun. She looks great in up ‘dos, but not when it looks like she’ll get home and end up with her scalp in her hand when she takes it down. 

    I HATE Rachel Zoe’s hair. It doesn’t even suit her all that well. And I think she’s been “working out” with Nina Garcia. Giving it a second look, I hate the whole ensemble. The boob ara looks too disproportionate and the necklaces take away from it instead of adding to it.   

    Cammie’s is a vast improvement from the actual Oscar’s gown, hairwise too.

    I love Elizabeth Banks’! Sure it’s a little Muppet-y, but its fun and it suits her.     

    •  Poor Rachel… Honey, rule # 1: shoulders should be wider than head. EAT SOMETHING, YOU SILLY BITCH!

  • MK03

    January is to be lauded for not showing up in another Versace mess. Granted, it’s a Wes Gordon mess but still. Baby steps.

  • I like that Miley has given up on hair extensions which is a major step in the right direction.

  • Jon Hammenahammenahammena…..

  • D.

    Does this mean you’ll lay off Lea Michele and start picking on Paula Patton? I think the latter is a more accurate winner in the race of worst RC pose. 

    Paula Patton’s a gorgeous girl but her RC poses are awkward & campy. I also don’t see why she’s always trying to torture her girls. I say this as a fellow big busted gal. That ain’t comfortable and it’s not a good look. 

    • ohayayay

      I heard recently that Paula Patton is pregnant. If that is true, it could explain the high-waisted skirt and also, the problems fitting The Girls.

  • I officially want to through my hat in the ring.  I want to be considered for the T Lo link-roller lackey.  I’ll be fierce, I promise. 😉

    • But are you as cute as Gaga’s Ginger Handler?

      • mjude

        are you a giner at all? 🙂

        • I am, but by my own hand.  My American Indian heritage overrode my Irish and darkened my hair too much.  I just help it along a bit. 🙂

      •  Not to the boys I’m not!  LOL  But I can multi-task and keep my eyes open for hot scenery nearby.

  • I love Cameron Diaz’s dress!  However, did anyone else hear Elle Woods proclaim that she talked Cameron Diaz out of buying an orange sweater and that whoever said that orange is the new pink is seriously disturbed?

  • Cameron brought it in both dresses last night!  Love!

  • KaileeM

    Cameron looks incredible in that dress! I wish she would have worn a more vibrant color like this one to the actual ceremony.

    Also, I’m totally loving all of the SLEEVES seen on the red carpet! I love an evening gown with sleeves. Nice departure from sparkly tube dresses. 

  • SublimatedRage

    Re: Elizabeth Olsen — Hate her nipples looking off in opposite directions!

  • Jennifer Coleman

    Wow! I am digging January Jones outfit! (something I’ve never said before). The hair, snagged from another era, is sharp and the colors are intriguing. The Frito Bandito style blouse is a little strange, but the color is fab on her.
    JLo continues to tape & separate.She should start selling her own brand of double stick tape. I’d buy it.
    Paula Patton, Paula Patton, Paula Patton. *said while shaking head sadly*
    I fully expect Kate Bosworth’s dress to launch porcupine quills at unsuspecting reporters that ask dumb questions.
    Actresses take note: if Zoe Saldana cannot rock the short/long frock, none of you bitches can.

  • Although I also loved the dress, Elizabeth Banks’ look also reminded me of a plucked pheasant. It was the polka dots up top (a’ la ostrich) with the feathers below that made it look like a plucked bird.

  • granddelusion

    Maybe if we just hacked their hands off, they wouldn’t offend with the pockets anymore. Ruins the look of everything.

  • Cameron Diaz looks incredible.

  • altalinda

    Rachel Z. decided to revive the anorexia rumors.  I think January Jones looks great, especially since she has a propensity to dress herself badly.

  • Zoe NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! Did she anger the gods with her, until now, utter flawlessness? What hath she wrought?

    Cameron looks 1000x better than she did at the show – why didn’t she wear that instead? Beautiful color.

    Elizabeth Banks looks AWESOME. Love that dress – I’m starting to really dig her style and can’t wait to see what she wears to pole dance for The Hunger Games.

    I actually like Jennifer Westfeldt’s dress – I think smaller chested women can get away with plunging necklines like that.

  • DinaSews

    I’m really over the dresses that are cut to the navel.  JLo looks ridiculous (desperate?).

    LOVE orange.  Cameron looks perfect.

    And I really can’t give RZ a pass.  She is a white version of Morticia.

    • Little_Olive

      White Morticia! Brilliant. 
      Only Morticia had lustrous hair. That hay I cannot take from a stylist.  

  • Terence Ng

    Cameron is looking so good recently. Hurray!

  • janetjb

    Anderson, Cameron, January, Jon & Jennifer, Rachel, and Sean; please step forward, congratulations, you are the winners of Vanity Fair Pt. One.

  • PeggyOC

    Oh Zoe S, that dress would be so rockin’ without the shower curtain. That dress is the one Cam SHOULD have worn to the ceremony.

  • NasserShaheen

    Andersen Cooper should give style lessons to other male celebs. He looks fucking ace.

    • kentiesgirl

       I honestly can’t ever think of AC not looking ace…even when being tossed around in hurricanes. he’s just so….yum. 😉

      • kentiesgirl

         oops on crushing on my celebrity crush, LOL

        • NasserShaheen

          It’s a very stylish crush so you have good taste! He’s too tiny for my taste but I’m a similar size to him so I crush on his fashion sense!

    • kcarb1025

      Agreed, Anderson always looks flawless… even on his talk show in sweaters and casual slacks: ace. If he ever gets tired of reading the news, he could take up a new job as male stars’ stylist.

  • Pants_are_a_must

    Elizabeth Banks’ transformation into The Chick You Will Recognize By The Hunger Games Premiere continues with another stellar dress.

    The rest of them look like they’re on their way to a horribly stifling dinner with their rich, racist grandparents, which is pretty much the case.

  • AthenaJ

    Abbie Cornish, can I have your dress? Pretty please??

    Anderson Cooper totally looks like he’s gonna fight someone, y’all… his style alone could cut a bitch.

    Apparently Jennifer Westfeldt is starring in an off-broadway remake of ‘Hello Dolly!’, called ‘Hello Sternum!’ That dress would be gorge with just a bit more fabric so the V wouldn’t be as stark.

    Love the dress and color on Cameron, but I’m distracted because her cheeks and lips look really swollen. Is it just me??

    Rachael Zoe always has this “I see dead people” expression. Somehow it works for her. I really like the dress and necklace together, but I think she and Nina Garcia have both been ‘working out’ a bit too much. If any more of her disappears, the style of clothing she prefers to wear will end up looking like huge misshapen sacks on her.

  • another_laura

    Cuffs, people, CUFFS!  How I hate looking at a man in a suit who doesn’t have that perfect amount of shirt cuff showing.

  • When I saw Miley Cyrus I thought  “Madonna’s looking pretty good”

  • I agree with the Jones’ dress is so weird it’s amazing sentiment. I feel too often I don’t get the urge to really stare at a gown-this one makes me look.

  • January Jones is pulling it off, but it looks like a costume. That’s not a bad thing- she looks her best in costumes.

  • Perhaps Miley and Paula should switch dresses, yes Miley’s is a little ageing but I feel like Paula Patton dresses somewhat like a teenage girl on the red carpet, so it would be a step in the right direction for both.

    Oh Zoe! What happened? At least this proves you are actually human and not some extremely good-looking and fashionable alien from planet I Can Wear Whatever And Still Look Fab.

  • Jasmine Moten

    Woof, Anderson Cooper.

  • Noshmek

    So, when did Miley Cyrus get cast in the “Madonna: Take a Bow” biopic?

  • nancylee61

    I love orange and I love it on Diaz.

    Rachel Zoe looks sickly again.

  • bluefish

    There seemed to a lot of those black cut out dresses, long and short, with black veils over them last night at the VF party.  Why does the gorgeous JLo think that that doughnut on top of her head looks good?

  • Hush now! January Jones looks fabulous!

  • Judy_J

    Miley Cyrus….Jane Fonda called and she wants her dress back.

    • alyce1213

      This dress is far too matronly for Jane Fonda!
      Debbie Reynolds called and she wants her dress back.

      • Little_Olive

        It’s a long-retired figure skater’s dress in my eyes.  

        • NasserShaheen

          Debbie Reynolds is far too young for that dress! That said I suspect a pile of Neanderthal woman bones is too young for that dress.

        • alyce1213

          Sonja Henie, maybe?

    • homespunner

      I think Jane called January – she wants her hair back…from “They Shoot Horses, Don’t They.” T&L how do you so accurately refer to a hairstyle from a movie that is over 40 years old? (How is it possible I knew exactly the hairstyle you were referring to?)

  • cashhuge.com

    @readers:disqus  my co-worker’s mom brought home $13327 the prior week. she gets paid on the laptop and bought a $436500 condo. All she did was get fortunate and set to work the tips shown on that site above

  • kimmeister

    Whoa, I actually thought Amy Adams was Kristen Wiig at first!
    Bradley, please ditch the moustache.  Please!
    Cameron looks amazing, but she has a bit of double-boob going on.
    JLo, enough of your sternum for one night.  Sheesh!

  • MissMariRose

    I’m so tired of seeing Jennifer Lopez’s sternum on the red carpet. 

  • nannypoo

    You just can’t swing a dead cat without hitting Shailene Woodley, can you? The girl is photographed everywhere, which seems odd because she’s not particularly interesting. Miley Cyrus is hilarious here. What a disaster. Is it just me or is JLo getting sluttier and sluttier? She’s a pretty woman. She should just stop with the cleavage already. Cameron Diaz and Anderson Cooper win this round.

    • not odd considering she was in the Oscar nominated movie

  • Anderson Cooper = win
    Cameron Diaz looks FAB
    JLo – sigh. Better than her Oscar ceremony dress, though
    Zoe – *SOB* so disappointing
    January looks cute!

  • cheesebomb

    I didn’t even recognize Miley. I had to keep looking back and forth between the name and the picture.

  • Zippypie

    Zoe, honey, WTF happened!???  Oh, that was so sad.

    Anderson is delicious.  And that is NOT Miley – it can’t be!

    Cameron Diaz looks much better here than she did at the Oscars.

  • Miley, with that haircut and makeup, looks like Madonna, back in the day.

  • Stubenville

    The Prabal Gurung dress looks like full body tattoos… really ugly full body tattoos. 

  • kentiesgirl

    Elizabeth Banks looks gorgeous. It’s invoking this ‘mermaid emerging from the sea thing’ and I LUV IT. Kudos to sophisticated polka dots. And the sash/belt is really giving her a gorgeous shape. (not like she doesn’t have one, I’m sure) Just wow.

  • girliecue

    Cammie is BACK! Can’t help but love her. Had the opposite reaction to Amy Adams’ shoes; they looked DTM bridesmaid-y to me. Her skirt looked off because of poufy seams. If ironed flat that dress would have killed. Paula Patton is a career “trying too hard” gal. Poor Miley Cyrus. Gotta give her credit for at least trying to look classy, though.  Agreed with every word T Lo wrote about January Jones. Really loved her look, despite the fluffy blouse. 

  • I agree about Zoe, sadly. 🙁

    Also, WTF, Miley?

  • I live for your comments on Miley Cyrus. I think she so desperately wants to be Dolly Parton that she goes to the same shops and hair salons Dolly does.

    • formerlyAnon

      Now *that’s* a theory that never occurred to me. I think you’re on to something. 

    • kentiesgirl

       Oh, please don’t insult her like that. Dolly has class.

  • elizabeth bank looks AMAZINGGG!!! good for her!
    miley at least looks younger than shailene did at the oscars
    rz looks great as usual, would have loved if her hair was up
    and cameron diaz looks amazing too

  • Elizabeth!  Stand up straight!
    Zoe!  Cut that drape off your skirt!  You, too, Kate!
    Paula!  Put your baby-heads away and stand like a lady, not a ho!
    Rachel!  Comb your hair! 
    (All said in the mom-voice I heard until I was well into my 40s…) 

    BTW–Jon and Jen look so damn darling I just want to pinch their cheeks.

  • Kate Bosworth looks Elven.  Like a wood sprite.

  • January Jones looks like Old Fashioned Man’s Library Barbie.  In a good way.

  • Jecca2244

    I love January Jones’ dress on principal…Wes is one of the nicest people alive. I think he will really come into his own, he is still young. I don’t understand why Paula dresses so…horribly. Someone must want to lend her SOMETHING nice. I bet she looked sexy IRL…but on the red carpet it fails. 

  • Sara__B

    I used to think Zoe Saldana could do no wrong, but she’s taken some missteps lately, and now this flying leap into a pile of fug. What’s wrong, Zoe?

    • Lilak

      Only thing I know that’s different for Saldana lately is that she’s become a Friend of Bosworth.  (But that wouldn’t have a negative sartorial influence on Saldana, now would it?  KB being a big ol’ Voguette and all.  Hmm … bit of a mystery.)

      As for the post-Askars KB herself: Is she ever playing the Take Me Seriously card these days.  Oy. 

  • BigWhiteGrannyPanties

    With all due respect,  Jennifer Westfeldt’s plunging neckline seems no more inappropriate than Jennifer Lopez’s plunging neckline right above it.  Why do we like Lopez’s neckline but hate Westfeldt’s?  I am confused.  I hate both looks, btw.

    • formerlyAnon

      Oh,  I’m an equal opportunity hater of that neckline as well. But I must admit I’m resigned to Ms. Lopez’ fondness for it, which lets me better appreciate the dress she’s wearing.  

    • kentiesgirl

      I agree it’s not particularly attractive-in the fashion sense, not the have sex with stance-but can be a once in a great while blow em outta the water thing. In JLo’s case, seems to be default setting, which makes it oh so more unappealing.

  • calimon

    In my book, Elizabeth Banks is star of the show for this segment.

    …oh, and I almost forgot, Cameron Diaz (I never thought I’d say so) is up there too.

  • annieanne

    Miley Cyrus looks like Madonna’s younger sister in that picture.

  • BookishBren

    LOVE Cameron’s VB dress. That color is fabulous on her!!

  • Caaro3

    What color shoes would you suggest for Shailene Woodley?  I’d probably go with black and that can’t be right. 

  • Stefanos Mantyla

    I think Rachel Zoe may have won this one, with Elizabeth Banks a close second.

    Zoe Saldana is bottom three, JLo bottom two, and finally… let’s hear it for the madame Miley Cyrus!

  • NGL, I loved Elizabeth Banks’ dress.

  • GTrain

    Agree on all your assessments, esp. Paula Patton. Gawd, she grates.

  • R. L.

    Oh Zoe, I could cry.

  • mhleta

    Yes, yes! Cameron Diaz looks tangtastic in that dress! I’ll beg to differ on two other points, however. 1) January Jones is slaying it x 1000. She is the personification of drinking Chivas Royal in a Baccarat glass while sitting in John Hamm’s lap and I for one want to be her when I grow up.  2) I am SICK to death of JLo’s cleavage. Why does she get a pass for being over exposed and Jennifer Westfield gets spanked for it? No, JLo. Put the girls away already. 

  • Candigirl1968

    Paula makes me sad. She’s too beautiful to look consistently cheap and tacky.  She needs to get a hold of whoever, helped Stacy Keibler turn things around, as Stacy, too, suffered from the “everything I put on makes me look a bit hoochie” virus for a while but looked spectacular at the Oscars. 

  • ArchaicSmile

    Would it kill the Olsen girls to stop slouching?
    Forget the dress, Kate Bosworth’s pigeon-toed-knock-kneed pose is frightening.
    Would someone please hold an intervention for little Ms. Miley and hire her a decent stylist?

  • Rand Ortega

    Looking at Zoe Saldana & that death shroud she’s wearing makes me feel like someone just shot my cat.  It’s almost looks like she was making a.m. eggs for Bradley Cooper in her negligee & put on a matching apron in case of splatters. Horrible.

  • Elizabeth Olsen is veering dangerously into Frau 
    Blucher territory.  

    • Rand Ortega

       (cue the neighing horses)

    • BigWhiteGrannyPanties

      i love you now.  that is hilarious.

  • siriuslover

    WOW, Cameron Diaz has really upped her game from a couple of months ago, hasn’t she? Her hair looks great and she looks killah in that dress.  I also really like Elizabeth Banks’ gown.  For me, I think it’s the green.  Finally, yes, Ms. Miley doesn’t know how to dress her age, but her haircut is super cute and she looks very happy, which I think brings the dress up tons of notches.

  • kolokOlchik

    What’s with JLo’s desire to show us her navel lately?  Woman, you’re over 40, have some self-respect.  Do not show us 49% of your boobs!

  • miagain

    I have heard that that party is a cheek to jowl, sardines packed in a row kind of party… why in heavens name would a gal want to wear a dress with a train… even a little one?
    I love Jennifer Westfeld’s dress… including the deep plunging neckline.  I like her plunge a hell of a lot more than that other Jennifer’s…

  • Every guy in Hollywood needs to 1) keep their damn hands out of their pockets, and 2) read this piece: How to Wear a Tux


    It seems Paula Patton went to the Megan Fox School for How to Dress Yourself Like a Ho. (I had to look her up on IMDB. I might have seen her on Law&Order: SVU)

    Cameron looking fabulous twice in one night? Never thought I’d see the day.

    No matter what Miley Cyrus wears, she always looks like she’s either coming from or going to a party at the worst trailer park in town.

    Rachel Zoe looks terrible. But, then, I always think she looks terrible. I would be happy to send her my jar of Nutella and box of graham crackers if I thought for a second that she’d eat them.*

    Elizabeth Banks’ dress is all kinds of crazy, in just the right way.

    January Jones looks terrific. I don’t think she’s ever looked this good outside of Mad Men.

    I’ve never been bitten by the Zoe Saldana bug, but, yikes! That is so far out of left field it even makes me sad.

    Jennifer Westfeldt looks lovely, plunging neckline and all.
    Abbie Cornish and Anderson Cooper take this round.

    *To top it off, Rachel consistently makes me break my own rule to not comment on someone’s weight. But, honestly, I actually worry about her.

  • BeeBeauNYC

    Zoe Saldana – what were you thinking?! I think January Jones should be done as an In our Out post, because for the first time in FOREVER I would give her an IN, but I know that bitter kittens are prone to disagree!

  • mhlmh

    Elizabeth Banks looks great but Cameron Diaz FTW.

    • thebitterkitten

       was thinking the same thing in my head when I saw Cameron’s dress….FTW!!!

  • JDreesen

    did Zoe lose a bet?

  • ccm800

    Would not have recognized Miley without identifir. WTF? She looks like Madonna as Mother of the bride. 

  • I ordinarily like round lapels on tuxes, but Emu is wearing one that just doesn’t work.  Perhaps a higher top button?

    Or maybe I simply don’t think Emus look good in tuxes.

    Elizabeth Olsen looks to have been taking some fashion cues from her sisters, alas.

    I thought devoting so much television time to Comb’s real-time grooming experience was too too strange.

  • Rrroza

    E. Olsen’s and Zoe’s dresses are inexplicable. Does Rachel Zoe ever smile?

  • I would look sad too, if I were wearing Elizabeth’s Olson’s outfit.

  • Nonnah

    Mark it!  February 26, 2012.  The best Cameron Diaz has looked in a long, long, long time.  (Possibly ever).  She looked great in both dresses.

    • Lisa

      She looked AMAZING in both dresses!  And I’d wager a bet that the second dress is a tough color for a lot of women to pull off, but it looks like it’s made for her, both style and color-wise.

  • mommyca

    Betty Draper Francis looks so wonderful! I love it that it is so different from the rest…  Brava!

  • GorgeousThings

    I am so sick of JLo’s tits.

    • Lisa

      I know, right?  Enough of the knockers already.  

  • Nanaia

    Does anyone else think Miley Cyrus looks like Madonna? Is it Madonna’s love child she never wanted to talk about? 

  • Lisa

    It’s kind of funny, because when I saw Miley Cyrus on one of the morning show clips, I didn’t realize it was her.  I honestly thought it was Madonna, and I thought, “Come on, Madge – just because you’re 53 doesn’t mean you have to dress like an old woman.  I mean, I know it’s the Oscars and all, but don’t go too far.”  But no, no, I was quite wrong… it was someone young enough to be her daughter, that’s all.

  • quiltrx

    I actually kind of love Bosworth’s dress.  It’s not HER dress, but put it on some fierce bitch and it would be awesome.

    And guys, Anderson Cooper can put his hand WHEREVER he wants and STILL be perfect…amirite? 🙂

  • Presumptuous Insect

    Well, at least the pig’s blood covered up the nip. I don’t know if it was really the nip showing on the show, but your eye kept going to that area, wondering what the hell was up.

  • mila_8

    Miley looks like a long lost Mandrell sister

  • MilaXX

    Lots of missteps here.
    Nice to see Diddy working hard to get that EGLOT.
    Elizabeth Banks is my favorite.
    I find my self liking January Jones look.
    I prefer Shailene’s look over Miley’s 40 year old actress look any day.
    Never thought I’d say this, but I love Rachel Zoe’s look.

  • formerlyAnon

    So, how come Cameron Diaz sometimes looks so odd when she can look so absolutely fantabulous?

    In my top 5 is January Jones’ skirt. 

    I have often thought the only way I could look well-enough put together to be photographed the way celebrities are, would be to have at least one, more probably two, lackeys attend me through my day, wielding face powder, lipstick, combs and hair product, a tiny little steamer, assorted sponges, misting sprays, buff cloths, lotions and, yes, a lint roller.

    When you guys price out that sycophantic attendant, I’d love to know how far out of my price range it is.

  • pokokpuding

    Listen to your gay uncles, Paula!!! They’re only trying to help!!!

  • homofascist

    Jon Hamm, Chris Evans, Anderson AND Bradley Cooper in the same post? This lady boy approves!

  • alyce1213

    I think Jennifer Westfeldt’s gown is exquisite — I love the way the light makes the fabric shimmer; it photographs great. 
    Okay, so maybe it’s a bit too open but at least she’s not spilling out, and the color is perfect for her complexion and hair color.
    Lucky girl.

  • holdmewhileimnaked

    love the three weirdo dresses: chadwick bell, january jones, blood of a pig. that said, i wouldve preferred the bell w/o dots but, you know, i’ll take it as is, no questions asked.

  • RzYoung

    Jlo and Cammi are my faves from this page. 


    I actually thought the back of Cameron’s dress was kind of ugly, but that color looks great on her. Elizabeth Banks wins here.

  • VioletFlame

    Kate Boswell looked fine til below her fingertips. Then, what the hell happened?
    And JLo in pig’s blood dress had me spitting OJ over my keyboard! Love you guys!

  • quiltrx

    Saldana is looking WAY too thin.  In that shorty-short dress the other day her legs looked so skinny…and her face looks gaunt.  Have a snack and get back to looking fabulous, Zoe!

  • Susan Crawford

    Miley Cyrus: Channeling Bea Arthur
    Anderson Cooper: Mah Boo, I love him soooooo . . .
    Cameron Diaz: Wowowowee! Favoloso!
    Elizabeth Olsen: Kind of looks like a Tenniel chesspiece illustration from “Through the Looking Glass”
    January Jones: Later won the Ugly Color Combination Award
    Paula Patton:
    Kate Bosworth and Zoe Saldana: Slowly dwindling down to the proportions of Norman Bates’s Mom, and definitely competing for the Miss Havisham shredding gown title. (Girls: EAT something and wear a dress made of actual CLOTH, not cobwebs, OK?)
    Shailene Woodley: I think she is adorable in this dress, and NOT in an Elvish, twee way. I even like the matchy shoes!
    JLo: TLo said it ALL – “pig’s blood” – bwahahahah!
    Rachel Zoe: The beyotch brought her A-game! LOVE the necklace!
    Jon Hamm and Jennifer Westfeldt: OK, maybe her neckline is a wee bit too plunging, but they look like Hollywood royalty here!
    Sean Combs: An inch and a half off the pants, and THIS would be real perfection. As it is – he looks fabulous. Confident, powerful and elegant.
    Elizabeth Banks: She looks great – what a beautiful woman! The dress? I think it is kinda swell for the VF Party.
    Chris Evans and Bradley Cooper: Have your people call Tom Ford’s people so you can learn what it means to dress for the carpet.

  • fwooper

    Love January’s dress. The colors are lovely on her. Cameron should have worn that orange dress to the ceremony because she looks awesome in it.

  • Cathy S

    Is it just me or does Miley Cyrus look just like Madonna in that picture? Poor Zoe Saldana. How could that happen to such a perfect person?

  • Vodeeodoe

    Kate Bosworth. EEEEEK!

  • DebbieLovesShoes

    Your comments on Zoe’s dress made my whole dang day.  You guys are so funny.  

  • bitterk

    Cameron is killing it.  She has the best body in Hollywood.  Poor Precious Paula Patton.  I think her sweetness and sheer delight at being attending thee events leads to these cringe-worthy poses.  

  • Sophie Collier

    Since I’m more than twice her age, can I have Miley’s dress?  I like it!  And what’s scary about Kate’s dress?  She looks great!  

    • Cyrus gets ripped for too little/too hipster clothing, if she wears a complete dress covering all of her bits, she gets ripped, too. I’ll admit that it was a little mature, but the pic doesn’t show the entire backless part, or that it had a slit up the front that when she walked, her leg was out up to mid thigh. It wasn’t as Memaw-y as it seems here. Plus, somebody should be giving her high points for ridding herself from those horse tail extensions. I prefer too old to too trashy.

  • Susan683

    Why does Rachel Zoe get a pass for her hair but Jennifer Aniston is always raked over the coals for it???  I’m not a major fan of either of them but the double standard is perplexing. 

  • frankystein123

    Ms. Patton, please, we all know you have a great figure, but why ruining it with the horrible skirt and the painfully-squeezed breasts?