Line ‘em up!
Angelina Jolie in Atelier Versace
What the shit was she doing with her leg all night? Did she come down with a bout of crazy or something? Because usually Angie’s pretty demure when it comes to playing the sex card. That was just odd the way she kept sticking her leg out like that all night, especially when she did it on stage. Look at how far apart her feet are! She’s ready to squat down behind home plate!
The dress is fine, if a little big for her.
Cameron Diaz in Gucci Première
We were surprised by how much we liked this, given our constant bitching about neutrals on the RC and dresses that match the hair color. It’s very chic and clean-looking. And the bit of glitter in the skirt was a nice touch.
Gwyneth Paltrow in Tom Ford
So we hear that classless people with vision problems are out on the internet voting this one of the worst looks of the night. Lucky for you, we have taste here at T Lo Taste, Inc., and we absolutely loved this for being dramatic as hell without being too attention-seeking. Quietly dramatic.
But the hair’s pretty bad, we have to admit. Love the cuff.
Judy Greer in Monique Lhuillier
Sharp as hell.
Kelly Osbourne in Badgley Mischka
We’ve always defended her but she’s really starting to get on our nerves lately, especially when she starts talking about fashion like she has decades of experience with it. And besides, no one with hair the color of potpourri burner water should be lecturing anyone about their style.
But the dress is nice.
That’s one tightly wound spring. She looks like she could go off at any second. Look how everyone behind her is moving back. They can sense the danger.
Leslie Mann in Roberto Cavalli
Sharp and chic.
Maya Rudolph in Johanna Johnson
We didn’t like this at all onscreen but it looks a bit better here.
Melissa Leo in Reem Acra
We hate the sad little sash, but the dress itself is kinda chic. Just wish it was a little fitted.
Mellisa McCarthy in Marina Rinaldi
AWFUL. We realize that her size and shape make it ridiculously difficult to score free dresses for the red carpet, but we’ve seen her in so many disasters we’re ready to declare that her problem goes deeper: she really doesn’t know how to dress herself. Now, the basic shape here isn’t bad, but the color is horrible, the glittery trim looks tacky and the big flowy sleeves add volume.
We think she could solve so many problems for herself if she’d go the Gabby Sidibe route and decide that she doesn’t give a good flying fuck what the world thinks of her arms by opting for sleeveless dresses with wraps or dresses with little cap sleeves. Nothing is going to magically make her body smaller, so she’d be much better off by owning it rather than trying to cover it in extra fabric.
Milla Jovovich in Elie Saab
Knocked it out of the park. We’ve always loved her ability to go from zero to uber-glam so effortlessly.
Missi Pyle in Valentina Delfino
Fantastic color, but way over-designed.
Penelope Ann Miller in Badgley Mischka
Still needs that hair consult. P.A., let us get you started: lose the pale blonde hair and go for strawberry blonde. It’ll do wonders for you.
The dress is pretty. Not over-the-top chic but much, much better than a lot of what she’s worn through awards season.
Rose Byrne in Vivienne Westwood
This look seems to have been universally praised, but we thought it looked odd as hell. It’s tight across her boobs and drapey over her hips, which makes her bottom half look much wider than her top. Add that mushroom cap on top of her head and the shape becomes so weird that she almost looks like a semi-colon.
Sarah Hyland in Alberta Ferretti
This looked more romantic and ethereal onscreen than it does here. we thought the color looked pretty on her but it all looks like a sad prom dress in this picture.
Shailene Woodley in Valentino
This looked terrible onscreen last night but looks considerably less so here. We think this might be a dress for not moving at all. Once you move and speak, it starts looking awkward. Too many design elements on a dress that deceives you into thinking it’s simple. Interesting choice, though. We’ll give her that.
[Photo Credit: Getty]
2012 Oscars Red Carpet – Part ONE Next Post:
Oscars In or Out: Jessica Chastain in Alexander McQueen