No time for talk, ladies! Hop on the bitchtrain!
At this point, we’re starting to think ladystars wear these bland lace dresses because they’re hoping to blend in. To which we say, “It’s a red carpet, honey. Blending in is for losers and character actors.” Besides, the proportions are odd here, making her upper half look smaller than her lower half. She looks like she wouldn’t be able to raise her arms.
Ariel Winter in Collette Dinnigan
Surprisingly pretty, given the elements and color. More dramatic shoes were required.
Ashlee Simpson in Jenny Packham
How … grownup. She looks great, though; just more mature than we’re used to.
Glenn Close in Zac Posen
Glenn, we’ll keep this simple because we suspect you’re the kind of gal who needs her fashion broken down for her: Stay the hell away from Zac Posen. He’s nothing but trouble. Also, stop wearing such tight dresses. You’re admirably fit, but the Sofia Vergara-style silhouettes don’t quite fit your image.
Jennifer Carpenter in Emilio Pucci
Pretty, but a little generic.
Jessica Chastain in Calvin Klein
This would look bland on a lot of gals, but it’s perfect for her. The bust sits a little low, though.
Jessica Lange in David Meister
Aw, she doesn’t give a fuck and neither do we. She’s the Honey Badger of actresses. And she’s earned the right.
It’s not actually a bad dress, though.
Kaley Cuoco in Romona Keveza
Pretty, but generic. Seems to be a theme for the night.
Kelly Osbourne in Badgley Mischka
Love the details here, like the shoulder and waist treatments. They take it away from being a boring white dress and they’re certainly not making it look bridal. Great fit too.
Kyra Sedgwick in Emilio Pucci
If a gal wants to take the opportunity to remind people that she’s still hot, who are we to argue with that? It’s not her best look ever and it does come right up to the border of Tackytown, but she’s rocking it. And why not?
Octavia Spencer in Tadashi Shoji
We like everything here but the spot at which the skirt hits her midsection. Lower that just a skosh and we’d like it a lot more, even if it is a little too monochromatic a look.
Regina King in Alberta Ferretti
When Octavia rocked that lavender dress at the Golden Globes, we wondered if it wasn’t going to spark a mini-trend among ladystars of color, just because it looks so good. She’s killing it here.
Rose Byrne in Elie Saab
We think you can wear a jumpsuit to the SAG Awards. We just don’t think it’s this one, dear.
Shailene Woodley in L’Wren Scott
Tilda Swinton in Lanvin
Surprisingly – and disappointingly – generic in a lot of ways. She looks good; she just doesn’t look Swintontastic.
Viola Davis in Marchesa
*snaps up as we sashay away*
[Photo Credit: Getty]
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