Darlings, it was the 23rd Annual Producers Guild Awards! No, we never heard of them, either. Or if we did, we blocked the memory of it. It’s all just a blur of red carpets and award-hungry stars from December to January. Anyway, apparently this is something of a funereal event because practically everyone wore black. That must’ve been one depressing room.
Angelina Jolie in Michael Kors and Brad Pitt in Gucci
Okay, you know how we said we’re a bit tired of the black lace dresses? We reserve the right to change our minds, just this once. She really looks spectacular here and whenever we see her hair looking this magnificent, we wonder why she favors that super-tight “Croydon facelift” pulled-back hair she falls back on so much. And we’re pretty sure Brad is a bitter kitten, because the last few times we spoke about him, we urged him to get his tux fitted a little better. Granted, the pants are embarrassingly long on him, but the jacket fits him nicely (bit long in the sleeve, though). Try and get both to fit correctly at the same time, Brad. It’ll work wonders.
Ellie Kemper in Martin Grant
Very cute, but a pop of color would’ve been nice.
Are we back to the witchy shoes with toe cleavage? Seems like we just got over them only a year or two ago.
Evan Rachel Wood
Hm. Not her best effort. You couldn’t at least wear silver glitter pumps or something?
Jessica Chastain in Balenciaga
Gorgeous dress AND a pop of color. Well done. Now crack a smile. It won’t kill you.
Honey, the CMAs were a while ago. You’re at the Producer’s Guild Awards, remember?
Penelope Ann Miller
Pretty dress; great color, but we’ll say it again: the lady needs a hair consult.
Shailene Woodley in Valentino
Heavy and shapeless dress. Not doing her any favors. She’s wearing more makeup, which means she also reads us religiously and does whatever we tell her to. We’re giddy with power.
Sofia Vergara in Monique Lhuillier
Does she break out in hives if her clothes aren’t cutting off circulation? Is an A-line or an Empire waist something she’s just never heard of? Because every single dress has the same bustline and silhouette. Yes, you’ve got an amazing body, but if that’s the only thing you’re thinking of every time you pick an outfit, it gets a little tacky after a while. Not that this dress is tacky; it’s gorgeous, in fact. We just wish she’d try something a little less coochy-coo for once.
Viola Davis in Hervé L. Leroux
You are KILLING it! A statement piece of jewelry might have been nice, but we really can’t complain. She looks fabulous.
Oh, sweetie! You’re not wearing something that only barely covers your nipples! Yay, you!
And can we just say, when you wear a dress like this you look at least a size smaller than when you wear those extremely low-riding strapless dresses? Food for thought.
He looks sharp but, believe it or not, we think the hem on the pants is just a skosh too high. He’s also showing too much cuff (at least on the right), but that might just be an adjustment issue rather than a fit issue.
[Photo Credit: Andrew Evans/PR Photos]