Can’t slow down now! This Bitchtrain is ROLLING. Hop on!
We will be kind, say, “That’s not your dress,” and leave it at that, Ana.
Ashley Benson in Alice + Olivia
Cute. Precious bordering on twee, but she’s young and it suits her.
Busy Philipps in Carven
From the “Ill-Fitting Krystle Carrington” Collection at Sears.
We’re calling it now. We can smell it on the wind. 2012 is going to be all about Dynasty jokes when it comes to the red carpet.
We’ll give it points for being interesting, but at the end of the day, most ladies want a dress that makes them look good; not a dress with a built-in optical illusion. Those hip mudflaps are weird.
”SERVING UP DRAMA AND FIERCENESS OVER HERE, BITCHES.”
Damn, those are some drag queen shoes.
Chloe Moretz in Proenza Schouler
You did so well the other day in that little red Miu Miu number, girl. This dress? Not your friend.
Emma Stone in Gucci
Oh, we LOVE. LOVE. We’re always telling the ladies that they can get away with chic trousers on the red carpet, if they just get the detailing right. Miss Emma? You got it right. Love that jacket; love the spats-like shoes; love that it’s all a take on menswear without being boring and androgynous about it. We think the hair and makeup should have been zhuzhed a little, though.
Ginnifer Goodwin in Roksanda Ilincic
This girl never seems to know what she’s doing. Personally, we don’t think those sleeves are working, but we could be talked into thinking this dress is a bold and unusual RC choice. But then she paired it with those shoes and once again is sporting terrible hair. We just wish she’d tone things down a skosh and stop trying to work such a Fashion-with-a-capital-F look all the time. She’s totally Girl Next Door. She should be playing around in that sandbox and making it work for her. These Miranda Priestley looks fail her every time.
Basic, but it suits her and it’s a pretty color.
Jennifer Lawrence in Viktor & Rolf
J’ADORE. We’ll applaud any gal with the ovaries to wear Viktor & Rolf to an awards show.
Julianne Hough in KaufmanFranco
From the “Krystle Carrington Add-Twenty-Years-to-Your-Age” Collection at Walmart.
Kat Dennings in Lorena Sarbu
We think the skirt’s great on her, although the sash could use some expert zhuzhing. The top’s not doing it, though.
Kristen Bell in Valentino
Our first impression was “Trying too hard,” but it’s actually a decent dress. We’re not sure that shade of red works with her coloring and her hair’s a mess.
Lucy Hale in Cengiz Abazoğlu
If you stare at it a certain way, it’s the face of an old woman! But if you tilt your head, it’s a young girl!
Nina Dobrev in Elie Saab
Green is the color that all the stylists have decided is okay for the red carpet, for now. Expect to see 300 green dresses between now and the Oscars, and then for the color to be banished for another decade. Still, she looks sharp as hell.
Boring. She’s got a distinct look to her and she’s wearing a generic dress. Tsk.
Oh man, we hate the Hee-Haw hair, but the dress is gorgeously simple and flattering.
[Photo Credit: Getty]