Kittens know the drill: film festival red carpet, celebrities in borrowed clothes, bitchy comments. Ready? GO!
Charlize Theron in Lanvin
A little too plain and unadorned. Is everyone in Hollywood suddenly allergic to jewelry? We like the shape here, but we think it needed some oomph.
How does someone leave the house wearing this, knowing they’re going to be photographed? We don’t understand. Explain it to us, Glenn. Hysterical blindness? A neurological disorder? Lack of mirrors? We want to help.
Jessica Chastain in Prabal Gurung
Yeah, the redhead in a brilliant green is a pretty obvious choice, but it still looks good. We wish she’d take her hands out of her pockets so we could get a better idea of the way the dress looks on her, but from what we can tell, the matte and shiny blocking is not all that flattering. Besides, shiny brilliant green? That hasn’t looked good in 45 years.
Michelle Williams in Miu Miu
This is the first time in a long time we’ve seen her in something we pretty much hate. Shiny, wrinkled and tea-stained is only ever going to look like old slips or pillowcases to us. The top half is interesting, but a bit too much for her, we think.
Octavia Spencer in David Meister
Well done, girl. We haven’t always liked your choices for the red carpet, but this is chic, simple, and flattering. Needs a bangle.
Olivia Wilde in Monique Lhuillier
We’re always complaining about lack of jewelry, but we can’t help looking at this getup and thinking she slapped the borrowed diamonds on at the last second to salvage a look that looks like no effort was put into it.
Shailene Woodley in Stella McCartney
Pretty cute. Yes, our first impulse is to say that she needs a belt, but we think it would probably ruin the clean line of the look.
Stacy Kleiber in Alexander McQueen and George Clooney
Looks like she finally figured out how to dress correctly for standing next to him. For the first time, they really look like a couple.
It’ll last just the length of awards season. Just you watch.
[Photo Credit: Andrew Evans/PR Photos]