Pairs Division: Jolie and Pitt

Posted on January 09, 2012

Darlings, what better way to jump into the week than by starting it off with a little glamour and stiff body language? True, starting off the week in bed is, in fact, the better deal but nobody likes a smartass.

 Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt attend the 23rd Annual Palm Springs International Film Festival Awards Gala. Angelina Jolie wears an Elie Saab gown. Brad Pitt wears Versace.

Why do we get the feeling we’re right at the aftermath of a two-hour long argument that ended in the limo 90 seconds before these pics were taken? That is some stiff and uncomfortable-looking body language. Personally, we think conjecture as to the state of various celebrity marriages is boring and almost always way off base, so we’re not even going there. No, it’s far more likely their argument was over the fact that she’s allergic to colors and he never met a tailor he didn’t ignore.

SHE: Is wearing exactly the kind of dress that suits her to a T: a boring one. Okay, no: a simple goddess gown in a neutral tone (which is, in our world, a synonym for “boring”). It fits and flatters and it hits the floor exactly the way it’s supposed to, rather than puddling up an extra foot of fabric at her feet. But damn, girl. Were you attacked by a rainbow as a child or something? Even the face is all done up in shades of beige. Yeah, you’re gorgeous, Ange, but we were never the types to confuse genetic luck with style. It’s a look – and it’s her look – but it’s as dull as dishwater and mostly the same color: Score: 6.5/10.

HE: Hurt his leg skiing and thus the unusual accessory. He needs to cut that hair. We’ve been hearing “It’s for a role” for what seems like several years now. Either he’s in the midst of the longest shooting schedule in film history or it’s not for a role and he likes wearing it that way. We’ll give him credit. Unlike 99.9999% of men his age, he can, in fact, still rock the Cobain hair. We think he should get it cut and shave for public appearances, but we can’t deny it’s a look that works for him. Like hers, it’s a boring look, though; mainly because he’s gone through periods sporting hair like this for the entire length of his career. The rule applies to men as well: if you’re making the same style choices in your 40s that you were making in your 20s, you need to do some style assessment on yourself. Anyway, the suit is fine, but it’s all a half a size too big for him. Score: 6.5/10.

Combined Score: 6.5/10. All she needs is color and all he needs is a haircut and a tailor and they’d be stunning. We realize some people think they’re stunning no matter what, but bitchy gay fashion bloggers get easily bored.

 

We’ll have more red carpet looks from the Palm Springs Film Festival later today, dolls.

[Photo Credit: Andrew Evans / PR Photos]

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