HBO Golden Globes Party

Posted on January 17, 2012

Darlings, it was the 69th Annual Golden Globe Awards HBO Afterparty and everyone was forced to stand in front of an ugly laundry detergent logo and look sober! But let’s judge them anyway.

Alexander Skarsgard

Well done on the fit, but your tie’s askew and we can tell you’re not wearing an undershirt.

 

Alice Eve

The dress is only so-so, but the look as a whole is pretty put together. We would have asked for at least one pop of color.

 

Alison Pill

Cute dress, boring shoes. Also, pay to have your hair done when you know you’re getting your picture taken.

 

Anne Heche in Collette Dinnigan

Dull as dishwater – and about the same color.

 

Ashley Jones

The gold shoes are kind of an unusual choice but we’re so damn tired of black lace dresses.

 

Carrie Preston

Great color on her. It’s only an okay look but she, bless her heart, has the worst time of it on the red carpet, so this is a big improvement.

 

Emilia Clarke

At least it’s kind of an interesting black lace dress, but man, are those some geriatric “bus trip to the casinos” shoes she’s sporting.

 

Jane Fonda in Jack Guisso

It’s probably all pulleys and electrical tape underneath, but you gotta give the lady credit for pulling it together and looking spectacular.

Joe Manganiello

Perfect.

 

John Stamos

Suit’s a bit shiny and of course his pose is terrible, but he looks adorable in those frames.

 

Julia Ormond in Tadashi Shoji

Oh, GIRL. A dress like this needs styling and you, sadly, seem to have skipped that part.

 

Kate Walsh

Kind of a generic 2008 dress, wouldn’t you say?

 

Lena Headey

A bit too “little bride on the prairie.”

 

Stephen Amell

He’s as cute as a button, but ENOUGH WITH THE OIL SLICK SUITS ON THE RED CARPET, DUDES!

Sorry. Sometimes we just snap.

 

Thomas Jane

Skank.

 

Wendi McLendon-Covey

Sweetie, nipples are sources of fun and nutrition. They’re not hooks upon which you hang a dress.

 

[Photo Credit: PR Photos>

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  • Anonymous

    This was hilarious because I LITERALLY was just about to leave a whiny post on the men’s red carpet recap about how when I get men’s red carpet, I just, I need some ASkars. it just needs to happen. But then this popped up and I was grotesquely happy.

    • Anonymous

      Speaking of “popped up”, Mr. Jane really should be sporting some underwear.

      • Anonymous

        You know when you look in the mirror as you’re getting ready to walk out the door and you realize you should remove one thing. He chose wrong.

  • Genevieve Dieudonne

    kate walsh’s dress looks like that Kate Hudson’s golden globes dress from a couple of years ago.

  • http://twitter.com/ILikeShiny Cindi Williams

    It’s embarrassing how an egg drops every time I see Alexander Skarsgaard. Usually one of my own eggs, so we’re cool.

    • Anonymous

      Me too. I probably sat here for a good three minutes just staring at that first picture. AND THEN I scrolled down to see a pic of John Stamos! Thank you, TLo. Thank you eversomuch.

  • Anonymous

    “Skank.”

    LOL!

    • Anonymous

      I cackled when I read that. Like, really cackled. Loudly. And in public.

    • leilah

      When I got to the first half of the photo, I thought, “you boys better come through….” — scrolled down, and man, DID THEY EVER!!  LMAO!!

    • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=811053804 Stacy Parker Cole

      I LOL’d too.. particularly because douche was my first impression. lol

    • Anonymous

      I cannot believe he was the first choice to play Don Draper. I mean…really?

    • Anonymous

      Guys, calm down.  Mr. Jane is in costume for his upcoming role as Nicely-Nicely Johnson in ‘Guys and Dolls’.  He wouldn’t SERIOUSLY dress like that!

    • Anonymous

      Yah, what is that guy’s deal?  He’s so majorly creepy.

  • Anonymous

    Wendi’s dress will fall down any second. I am sure of it. 

    • http://www.facebook.com/CatherineKatz Catherine Katz

      I totally agree!  it looks kinda like she ran out in a really long towel!

    • leilah


      They’re not hooks upon which you hang a dress.”

      I HOLLERED!!  Bitchery as a verb!

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Josefina-Madariaga-Suárez/100002964685796 Josefina Madariaga Suárez

    What if Alexander Skarsgard is not wearing an undershirt? As far as I’m concerned, he should always appear in public with nothing more than a Speedo. I wouldn’t mind.

    • http://twitter.com/ohmybears48 Michelle Argento

      EXACTLY.

    • Anonymous

      Speedo? Gurl, please. His birthday suit is good enough for HBO, so it’s good enough for us too.

      • http://www.facebook.com/people/Josefina-Madariaga-Suárez/100002964685796 Josefina Madariaga Suárez

        I was going to say that, but I don’t want him to go to prison. After all, the policemen are, mostly, straight men.

        • Rand Ortega

          Speaking as a relative of several, they do have great taste, though…

      • Anonymous

        so is it fair to say that in this instance, pants are NOT a must?  :)

        • Anonymous

          Nor are big white granny panties.

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=786337672 Michee Vrtis-Becker

    Alison Pill’s Dress looks as if it was made from this McCall’s pattern…
    http://mccallpattern.mccall.com/m6350-products-14405.php?page_id=108

  • Clifford Chiu

    you can totally see thomas jane’s wee-wee

    • Lauren Maier

      Gah, you can!  What has been seen cannot be unseen!

    • Fanney D

      i’m pretty sure he doesn’t believe in underwear.

    • Anonymous

      apparently still advertising for Hung…..

      • Clifford Chiu

        well now we know he’s not…

        • Anonymous

          Kind of puts the “wee” in wee-wee, no?

    • Anonymous

      Oh, my GOD!  Surely not, I thought.  So I went back and took a closer look.

      YOU CAN TOTALLY SEE THOMAS JANE’S WEE-WEE!  

      That is SO sleazy!

  • P M

    WHY, JULIA ORMOND? Why you make me cry, when I love you so? WHYYYYYY???

    • MilaXX

      She looks a hot mess doesn’t she? I thought Mermaid hair was supposed to be swept to the opposite side of the Wilma.

      • Anonymous

        I think mermaid hair needs to not be deployed with a Wilma at all.  Too much asymmetry all at once!

  • Anonymous

    You know, I can’t even tell what these people are wearing because I’m so distracted by that background. And the pictures of the folks in the corner just made me feel claustrophobic. 

  • Anonymous

    Thomas Jane is sleazebag-factor-multiplied Cosmo Kramer.

  • http://twitter.com/Bloodisea Barbora

    Joe, Alex, Emilia, Lena – like! :)))

  • Anonymous

    Where has Anne Heche been hiding herself, and more importantly, is she still calling herself Celestia these days? Good times.

  • Anonymous

    I’ve very nearly bought the dress Allison Pill (who?) is wearing several times from Anthropologie. I love it so so much. It’s probably still on the racks if you want one of your very own.

    • Anonymous

      Allison Pill was in “Midnight in Paris” (among other things, such as “Milk”).  I think that dress is adorable.

      • Anonymous

        It’s super cute, i just don’t think it fits quite right around the bust.

        • Anonymous

          I’ll still take it over Wendi’s heaving mammaries. ;)

  • Anonymous

    Re: Alexander Skarsgard–I’ll take 12, please.  I saw a magazine interview with him once where they asked about losing his virginity and he said something like “oh that would have been 2007.  Lasted about 30 seconds.”  So he’s got a sense of humor about himself too.  (Or premature ejaculation and an overabundance of candor.  One or the other.)

  • Anonymous

    Sweetie, nipples are sources of fun and nutrition. They’re not hooks upon which you hang a dress.

    You owe me a new keyboard.

    • Anonymous

      Did you spit coffee all over it laughing… because I did.  Oops!

      • Anonymous

        Tea, actually!

    • Anonymous

      Very funny, Lilithcat!

      The comment itself–also hilarious.  The young woman who’s the subject of all this hilarity?  One sneeze away from total wardrobe failure.

  • Anonymous

    How can anyone look good in front of that HIDEOUS S+R?  

  • Anonymous

    Kate Walsh also looks like she is trying to wear shoes about 3 sizes to small, my toes hurt just looking at her.

  • http://twitter.com/mossfree Kate Dalin

    Tom Jane just wants his kids back.

  • Anonymous

    I guess those boobs came with hooks

    (edit: oops, sorry, seem to have my snarky day)

  • Anonymous

    What is going on with Lena Headey’s legs?

    • Anonymous

      She’s doing the crossed leg pose which is usually used when wearing an insanely short skirt.  It helps project an image of modesty, but with a calf length dress, it just makes it look like somebody broke her legs.

      • Anonymous

        Helps project an image of modesty?  To me, it projects an image of a loss of bladder control.

        • Anonymous

          Bahahaha, or that.  I guess helps project an image of modesty was the wrong choice of words.  Maybe…helps prevent your underwear from showing up on STAR’s front page?

          • Anonymous

            There you go! :)

            Whatever it’s meant to project, I would like it to go away.  Please.  Now.

  • greathill

    best GG post yet.  I give Alison Pill a pass; she is such an awesome actress and probably never considered using a stylist.  what were some of these people thinking?!

  • Anonymous

    Jane Fonda wins hands down.  She looks great and this is one black dress I actually love.

    • Anonymous

      When she came out on stage Sunday night, I thought she looked FIERCE.  She’s working her 70+ reason.

    • http://www.GiftedCollector.com Nancy Abrams

      There are definitely no electrical tapes or pulleys holding Jane Fonda together. I guess T and Lo have not seen her latest workout video. The woman’s body is at least as fab as it was 30 years ago. However, that being said, that shot of her from the rear while she was on stage revealed a 74-year- old back. The upper chest and back never lie.

  • http://phantomminuet.blogspot.com/ MinAgain

    I didn’t care that much for Alice’s ensemble, until I reached the end of the list and realized, in comparison, she did pretty well.

  • Anonymous

    Oh so right about the logo! My first thought as the page opened was that it looked like they were at an event sponsored by Tide. My condolences to the actors getting their picture snapped. 

  • Anonymous

    So Kate Walsh is wearing basically a modified version of Kate Hudson’s Marchesa that was worn to the Globes about two years ago, right? http://cdn.buzznet.com/media-cdn/jj1/headlines/2010/01/kate-hudson-golden-globes-2010.jpg

    • http://pulse.yahoo.com/_BARN2K234KUKPF5RACXYEFZ4HI Maggie

      Thank you! I was waiting for someone to point that out. Man that dress looked awful on Kate, she looked drunk for some reason.

  • Anonymous

    i have to bow down to ms. jane fonda, she was one of my favorites that night.

    • Anonymous

      Same here.  That is some seriously well-done glam.

      • Anonymous

        Yes, and although I’m sure she’s had work done on her face, at least she is still capable of facial expressions and it doesn’t look freakish at all.

        • Anonymous

          I may have my celebrities all wrong (plus, I’m outta date by decades on who’s who), but isn’t her hubby a plastic surgeon?

          • Anonymous

            She’s not married at present.  Her last husband was Ted Turner, the owner of all those cable stations.

          • Anonymous

            As usual, mea culpa.  Guess I’d better keep my references to the 2 or 3 celebrities of whom I am aware!  …time to take my Geritol now (and that dates me even more!) :)

          • http://www.GiftedCollector.com Nancy Abrams

            Are you thinking of Victoria Principal, who was once married to a plastic surgeon?

  • Anonymous

    OK, I am now officially tired of celebrities.  Especially female celebrities posing with those stupidly crossed legs:  ”Take the picture! GOTTA PEE!”

    And Jane Fonda has managed to get her plastic surgeon(s) to make her look like Nancy Reagan.  How’s THAT for karma?

    “Skank.”  *Snort!*

  • Judy_J

    If you stare at Lena Headey’s feet long enough, it looks like her legs are on backwards.

    • Susan Crawford

      The Radical Cross-Leg Stance. (I wonder how she got those legs untwisted, or if she just hopped down the carpet still in full cross mode.}

  • Anonymous

    “nipples are sources of fun and nutrition”

    Best comment eva

  • CQAussie

    That dress of Wendi McLendon-Covey is hanging on for dear life cuz it’s one deep breath away from a wardrobe malfunction.  Good grief….I just can’t look away….it’s like….ANY minute now….!!!

  • http://profiles.google.com/shannonlstewart Shannon Stewart

    What the is Thomas Jane wearing on his head?  Why would he do such a thing?  I am confused…

    Also, as a matter of course, a suit should not be shiny.  There are very few men who can pull it off.  If you don’t know you are one, then you are not.

    Still love John Stamos.  He seems like such a decent and interesting guy.

  • MilaXX

    There is so much awful lace on this RC, I am willing to give Alice Eve a pass for her lack of color.

  • http://profiles.google.com/sara.e.munoz Sara Munoz

    OMG is Lena Headey wearing shoulder pads? Under a white sheer lace dress?? Tell me I am just seeing things…

    • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=811053804 Stacy Parker Cole

      I have a hard time with Lena Headey.  I keep confusing her with Lara Flynn Boyle.  They both have the unfortunate lip thing going on.

    • Anonymous

      What the crap, I think you’re right!

    • http://pulse.yahoo.com/_2FXYZIJCBOTXXYBFGMESVTCVWM bradybutkus

      Yes, those are shoulder pads under that sheer dress.  I wore almost that exact dress in 1988 when I got married (the first time).  Awful then and now.

      • http://profiles.google.com/sara.e.munoz Sara Munoz

        Tragic…

  • Diego!

    Thomas Jane is hangin’ something there. Quoting Starbooty: ‘Between him down there’ OMFG! o_O

  • Anonymous

    Am I the only one who is entirely skeeved by Joe Manganiello? I’ve never seen anything he’s been in, so perhaps that’s part of the problem. But I think he looks utterly creepy in every photo I see of him.

  • Anonymous

    Did Joe Manganiello ride there on a horse? And be careful Stamos, it’s a fine line between adorable and duche

  • http://profiles.google.com/grandiva1968 e jerry powell

    Too many double-up reviews for people who were photographed on the main red carpet in the same outfits, but that’s a nitpick.  I guess Heche was obliged to show up since the now-cancelled show had a nomination, but she could have put a bit more effort into it.  I don’t quite care for that particular shape of pant on Joe Manganiello, but then, I tend to prefer him without pants on at all.  For as much as I’d like to molest Thomas Jane, he is seeming more and more like some inexplicable creature from another galaxy.  Not enough to be off-putting, but just enough to be truly confusing.

    • http://www.tomandorenzo.com Tom and Lorenzo

      “Too many double-up reviews for people who were photographed on
      the main red carpet in the same outfits, but that’s a nitpick.”

      Too many? Not one of the people in this post appeared or were reviewed in our Golden Globes posts.

      • http://profiles.google.com/grandiva1968 e jerry powell

        Apologies, my bad.  I have read TOO MANY red carpet recaps away from here, particularly of Jane Fonda, in the last two days.

        • http://www.tomandorenzo.com Tom and Lorenzo

          No problem. Sorry if we snapped at you.

  • Anonymous

    LOL on the nipples as source of fun and nutrition.  I’ll take Alex without an undershirt — no problem.  That HBO logo is truly atrocious!

  • Anonymous

    Where did the A-listers go? This is kind of a pitiful group.

  • http://twitter.com/Goldielox73 Goldie

    While TLo were tweeting about the GG red carpet (and very nearly at the end) John Stamos tweeted “guess it’s time to think about an outfit — ideas?”  He just pulled that out of the closet and walked out the door.  I think he did a pretty good job.

    At least Thomas Jane is wearing real shoes.  He’s usually either barefoot or wearing those five toe running shoes.

  • Anonymous

    OMG she’s wrapped in a silk sheet!

  • marilyn

    Lindsay Lohan (on the next story)  needs to change her haircolor.  The pale blonde color makes her look SO OLD, like an old bar fly from a distance. Then, she is surprisingly young in the face from close up. Her dressing and hair color would be appropriate for someone in the case of the movie “Casino”, you know, a woman who is trying to hold onto the ’40ish’ look, and just hopes no one looks at her up close. The problem here is that Lindsay is actually quite young. Her whole look is for a middle age kept woman.   She needs to go back to the strawberry blonde she had briefly.  It was great with her skin color and was very youthful.  What a waste! (I commented here, because there is no place to enter comments on the Lohan story.  Sorry.)

  • Anonymous

    OMG, “nipples are a source of nutrition”!!!!

  • Anonymous

    “Nipples are sources of fun and nutrition” I’m stealing that one.

  • http://www.twitter.com/allforusophia AllForUSophia

    I love Lena Headey’s style in this. Just love it! 

  • http://pulse.yahoo.com/_CIPKMOXHLA5KG34HMH55OXHCVM Angel H.

    Sweetie, nipples are sources of fun and nutrition. They’re not hooks upon which you hang a dress.

    This is should be on a plaque on every stylist’s wall!

  • http://asskickingadviser.com/ Ass Kicking Adviser

    That was some serious ugly lined up there. Kate Walsh looked 1988, not 2008.
    The 75 year old wins in a landslide. She looked amazing in that dress when she walked out on stage at the awards. Wowie!

  • Anonymous

    Guys, if I see one more pair of peep toe shoes I’m gonna cry.

  • Anna Maria Diamanti

    My God, this Stephen Amell is ADORABLE! Where the hell did he come from???

    OK, from “bus trip to the casino” to “skank” you guys had me rolling. Then I saw nipple hooks and I completely lost it.

  • Anonymous

    Wendi seems to have this problem with all of her RC looks lately.

  • Anonymous

    Lena Headey looks like a pre-injection Laura Flynn Boyle.

  • Renee Thomas

    I’m starting to fall in love with Lena Headey’s weird — but not SUPER weird — red carpet looks.
    Kate Walsh’s dress makes me so glad we’re past those times when it seemed like 8 out of 10 red carpet dresses were overdone Marchesas.

  • Anonymous

    Last comment made me laugh so hard I actually genuinely wanted T & L to be my real friends.

  • margaret meyers

    Jane Fonda needs to lay-off the plastic surgery.  I accept that she wants to look younger, but what’s wrong with being 74 and looking like a great 54 year-old actress?  Why does she have to go for delighted 29 year-old starlet? 

    I know:  Jane doesn’t do anything by half-measure.

  • Call me Bee

    Wow that green number is gonna hit the floor any moment now….

  • Anonymous

    My first reaction to Stephen Amell’s suit was, “Wait, is that made of LEATHER?” So, yeah. Probably a bit too shiny.

  • Anonymous

    are these people really stars? I only recognized about four people – Jane Fonda and John Stamos being two of the four. Who is Wendi McCovey besides someone who uses her nipples to hang her dress (that was funny)

    • http://twitter.com/yankeefoxtrot Alex McGeagh

      She was very funny as one of Maya Rudolph’s bridal party in Bridesmaids :) 

  • Sophie Collier

    Anne Heche looks like JK Rowling.  

  • Pennymac

    Nipple hooks! Bwahahaha! Made me think of one of your lines from a week or so ago about a young lady whose dress was so low she spent the evening with a “fear of sneezing”. You guys rock!

  • R. L.

    Bwahahahaha!

  • http://twitter.com/anacedillo Ana Cedillo

    ew a more bad looking redcarpet ever! seriously, it was becoming painful to even get through this page. 
    just awful, wirth VERY few exceptions and that was really just the guys. Alison Pill looks AWFUL! idk why you gave her so much credit, the dress doesnt even fit her not to mention its not cute at all. im being super bitter right now, but fair. <3

  • Anonymous

    the nipples comment almost made me spit out my sangria.  But it’s been a hard day, and I need my sangria, so I kept it together!

  • http://theargiehome.blogspot.com/ Gus Casals

    I never pretended to know anything about fashion, I’m just here for the sense of humor, but is it so wrong that I’m digging the oil slick suits? Never in a million years I’d wear one, and of course I’m partial to the guys sporting them, but at least they bring a ‘something else’ to men’s fashion.

  • Anonymous

    “Yes, Mr. Jane, we can ALL see you are going commando.” Skank indeed…….

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Jessica-TallGirl-Freeman/1043623567 Jessica TallGirl Freeman

    Wait. Thomas Jane has on shoes?? Like, real shoes that grown ups wear. I am floored.  

  • Anonymous

    When did Janie Fonda start to look like Reba?
    All the guys need to go to the T&L workshop on how to work a runway.
    HBO: could you design a worse backdrop for photography.

  • Anonymous

    nipple joke: HILARIOUS! Does anyone else thing the HBO logo is gross as hell? Looks like a bad art school project or the Bounty paper towel logo

  • Anonymous

    JANE FONDA looks amazing!!!!!!!!!! at almost 80 yrs old!

  • frankystein123

    Thomas Jane, wtf?!