“Haywire” Premiere Boys

Posted on January 09, 2012

Let’s do some boys, kittens!

The “Haywire” Los Angeles premiere was chock full of the man meat. Let’s assess.


Channing Tatum

Serving up Draper. Actually, he’s serving up Pete Campbell but thinks he’s serving up Draper. He looks good, but the suit is one cheeseburger away from being too tight on him.


Dominic Monaghan

We give him credit for trying something a little different, but the shoes look cheap and nothing seems to fit him as well as it should. Also, the all-grey color story doesn’t really suit his coloring.

Ewan McGregor

Ewan, when you choose to wear pants that tight – and we’re not complaining, mind you – then it’s probably a good idea to skip the “hand in pocket” pose. You’re gonna need the jaws of life to pry it out of there. Still, you look very cute and we love the off-the-beaten-path vibe of your style choices.

Wait. That shirt’s not sheer, is it?

Matthew Bomer and Joe Manganiello

It’ll never work, guys. You’re all wrong for each other.

Also serving up Draper (and doing a better job of it). We don’t love the color of the suit and he’d look a lot sharper if his tie was tighter.

It’s kind of hard to make that bod look bad, but the grooming north of the neck is doing him no favors. Shave and a haircut, Joe.


[Photo Credit: Andrew Evans/PR Photos, Getty]

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  • Sobaika Mirza

    Woof woof woof.

  • Oooh-wan McGregorrrrr!

    • seriously – Ewan is on my exempt list.

      • Anonymous

        Word.  And I don’t think the shirt’s sheer, thank God.

      • michelle gorman

        You and me both.

        • Anonymous

          I’m pretty sure his hand is in his pocket because his pants are so tight that he realized you could see a perfect outline of his junk. So I think he should take his hand out of his pocket. LOL. 

  • Ewan looks great, but the rest? Not so much — why is it that men’s suits somehow *always* come off looking ill-tailored? And what is this “only button the top button” thing, which makes the coat look baggy and shapeless while at the same time making the lapels curve off like daffodils? No, not good on any of them.

    • It’s customary to leave the lowest button on a jacket/vest unbuttoned. The lapel issue is probably a result of being too tight (thank Arnold in Twins for that useless bit of advice) combined with the hands in the pocket and awkward posture.

      I read an article about a tailor in Beverly Hills who only puts one button on a jacket “because that’s all you’re gonna need.” The same tailor rather brilliantly makes the liner of the pants removable so that it can be cleaned rather than the whole pair; he also recommends 2 pairs of slacks/suit as pants will wear out faster than the jacket.

  • Maria Rosenfire

    Eh. They’d all look better naked.

    (Equal opportunity objectification!)

    • Looking forward to “Magic Mike”- Joe M, Matt B., and Channing T. as strippers? I’m in!

      • Anonymous

        Wait, what? Thats both hilarious and awesome. I shall definitely be renting this!

        • It’s apparently based on Channing Tatum’s earlier career as a stripper. Men who will be strippers in the movie? Joe M., Matt B., Channing T, Matthew McConaughey, Alex Pettyfer (ew) and I think more. Also, Joe M.’s name in the movie? Big Dick Richie. I can’t stop laughing. 

          • Anonymous

            This is quite possibly the best thing I have heard about in weeks. I don’t particular care for any of those dudes except Channing (what can I say? He’s so awkward and well muscled!), but I’m still completely amused that this movie is going to exist. If its silly fun of the step-up type I’ll probably even buy it.

        • Anonymous

          Holy crap yes, I am so there!

  • foodycat

    I LOVE Matthew Bomer but that suit is a bit accountanty. They all have admirable hems though.

  • Ewan McGregor isn’t posing with his hand in his pocket.  He was digging for change when it got stuck there because the pants are too tight.

  • Anonymous

    I’m not sure I understand the logic of playboy serving up man candy, but it confirms a few of my suspicions about the bathrooms where I’ve seen that magazine lurking.

  • I’ve never gotten the appeal of Joe Manganiello.  There goes my daily quota of “self-important complaint of celebrity’s importance”. 

  • Anonymous

    Channing Tatum looks delicious.

  • Mariah J

    Ewan = sex on a stick

  • Rand Ortega

    TLo said… It’ll never work, guys. You’re all wrong for each other.

    Yeah, but here’s a year’s salary to watch you find that out in bed!

  • Anonymous

    Channing Tatum, once again serving Charming Potato. He can’t help it though; it’s his face.

    Joe Manganiello should know that werewolf trend is now 5 minutes ago.

    Matt Bomer is Don Draper, about to burst into song about the woe that is his life, as written by Alan Menken.

  • Anonymous

    And I also firmly believe that Ewan McGregor’s hand in his pants is the only reason why we’re not seeing a clear outline of McGregor Jr. in those skintight pants.

    • Anonymous

      Oh GOD, it’s so true. He just looks *so* uncomfortable. Also, like David Bowie, which is odd.

      • Anonymous

        He was quite obviously going for a Jareth look.

  • Anonymous

    I will never like a shirt peeking through the (obligatory) unbuttoned second button. It’s not that the button’s open — it should be. The jacket’s too short, the buttons are too high, or maybe the trouser waistband is too low. It’s just a jolting, slovenly look.

  • Anonymous

    I adore Ewan, and he pretty much can never do wrong if you ask me, but here he’s looking extra…especially….something….yes, please. You throw in my favorite werewolf ( no on the shave and haircut) and my favorite impish hobbit slash junkie ex rock star with a penchant for scribbling on his extremities and we’ve got a party. The dude from Step Up is icing, especially if this party has a DJ.

    Also, they are all wearing clothes, which is unfortunate.

  • I disagree, Joe looks better than ever.

  • Anonymous

    Ewan McGregor can wear skinny jeans any damn time he pleases. Rrrow.

  • How do I get invited to this?  I don’t think I’ve ever seen a more appealing group of guys at a single premiere.

    • Anonymous

      Ha, no kidding. Are they all in this movie? If so, Haywire here I come.

    • Anonymous

      Ha, no kidding. Are they all in this movie? If so, Haywire here I come.

  • Also, I will take Pete Campbell over Don Draper (or Channing Tatum for that matter) any day. However, points to Mr. Tatum for not looking as greasy as usual.

  • Joe M. may need a shave, but he should never cut his hair shorter than it is.  When a man is blessed with such glossy, wavy hair he should taunt all the others with it.  His hair is perfect.

    But Ewan is Ewan and no matter how fussy the outfit, and that scarf makes me sad, he’s still one of the most raucously charismatic people ever.

  • Joe M. may need a shave, but he should never cut his hair shorter than it is.  When a man is blessed with such glossy, wavy hair he should taunt all the others with it.  His hair is perfect.

    But Ewan is Ewan and no matter how fussy the outfit, and that scarf makes me sad, he’s still one of the most raucously charismatic people ever.

    • So true about Joe. He could even have his hair a little longer, but that’s personal preference…

    • So true about Joe. He could even have his hair a little longer, but that’s personal preference…

    • Werewolf of London reference totally unintentional, by the way.

    • Anonymous

      It’s a sad scarf.

  • Rachel Moss

    Oh, come ON, ladies and gentleman, have we all sipped the Ewan-Aid? Scuffed shoes? A shirt that’s either sheer or tight enough across his pecs that it looks like it could be? And anyone with a few charming wrinkles around their eyes is too old to wear trousers that show off … other wrinkles. And he needs to wash his hair/lay off the styling gel. What even is this look?!

    • MilaXX

      I dunno, but it’s working for me.  You don’t want him, all the more for me.

      • Rachel Moss

        Since it seems like I’m the only person here who doesn’t go for this look, I’m afraid me taking myself out of the fray isn’t going to stop the stampede much. 😉

  • Ewan….SWOON. I feel faint!

  • Anonymous

    Ewan, Matt and Joe all in one post?? I need a third ovary to handle all that yumminess.

  • Anonymous

    Ewan is serving up the fabulous.  All you other chumps need to bow down.

    His jacket is absolutely fabulous.  And that sexy face he’s giving makes me think it would all look equally good on a bedroom floor somewhere.

  • Anonymous

    Every time I see Matt Bomer I think Matt BoNer… and then look down.  
    Every time I see Joe Manganiello I think yummy!…and then look down.

    Houston…I think I have a problem

  • I like a man with a good scruff. Joe’s is good.  Dominic’s is not.

  • Charming Potato!

    If nothing else, he’s easy to look at, which is good, because I can’t really thing of any other purpose he serves.  Monaghan looks cute as all get out with the cheesy grin, but no, the color story is just not happening.

    Manangiello does look a mess above the shoulders, but I’d never let that stop me from ravaging him to within an inch of his life.

    Oh, and McGregor, as usual, is aggressively ready to be my dinner.

  • love matt.  so adorable.

  • Anonymous

    Only point I’ll disagree on is the color of Bomer’s suit. I like that blue a lot, and it looks great on him.

    • Anonymous


  • The more important question is what are all these fine actors doing in a film which stars Gina Carano, Mediocre Female Mixed Martial Artist Who Hasn’t Fought Since She Got (Wo)Manhandled By That Woman Who Just Popped Positive On A Steroid Test? Gina Carano is so painfully uncomfortable in front of the cameras in interviews, I can’t fathom how she manages to actually act in front of them.

  • MilaXX

    I’m not gonna complain too much here because these guys all at least put in an effort to dress up for their poledancing. The fact that there’s not a single home depot DIY dad look makes my heart weep with joy. The only true swing and a miss is Dominic and I’m even willing to give the hobit pass for at least trying.

  • Anonymous

    Well helloooo man meat! Ewan, Matthew and Joe, oh Joe. Yes yes and yes. They’re wearing far too many clothes.

  • Anonymous

    Why is Merry pulling that ridiculous face?

    eh. who cares. he’s still cute

  • Anonymous

    Really? You don’t think that getup on Ewan McGregor doesn’t look overdone and downright silly?

    • Anonymous

      I think it’s a bit too much, and I usually love the funky/hipster/punk look. I’m especially not sold on the jacket.

    • Rachel Moss

      Finally someone agrees with me!! Oof. (See my comment on the previous page.) It’s just so… glam rock dad.

  • Lexie

    Ewan and Joe. meeeOWWW!

  • I like the color of Matt Bomer’s suit in the second pic, but the color in the first pic is really off.  His shirt looks almost aqua.  And no matter what color it is, that is a truly boring tie. 

    Still, Matty has good hair.  To go with his excellent bone structure.

  • Anonymous

    Bite your tongue!  Joe is perfect.

  • Alisa Rivera

    You were so blinded by Ewan’s tight pants that you failed to bitch about that hideous coat. Leather sleeves? Ew.

  • Joe + Matthew = OTP.  You guys need to feature/do more mens.  

  • Anonymous

    I LIKE Joe M’s hair and beard. (You guys are beginning to worry me—does everyone have to look the same?)

    • Anonymous

      I do too. I like a beard on a big burly guy. (I think its a Leonidas thing.) And hey, if they ever make a live action Paul Bunyan movie he’s good to go.

    Er-hem. Sorry. So few men in Hollywood (a) can grow a decent beard and (b) can pull off the look, and as a beard-loving girl (one of few, I’ll grant), please let me keep him, TLo. 
    However, the Joey-from-Friends hair can go, please. With that sentiment, I certainly agree. 

  • Warmheartedgirl Seattle

    Ewan McGregor looks amazing.  That is all.

  • Anonymous


  • oohsparkley!

    I’ll take one of each please!