Golden Globe Awards Red Carpet – Part 1
No time for niceties and foreplay, darlings! Let’s GET TO IT!
Amanda Peet in Marc Jacobs
Enh. There’s such a thing as being too tiered. And the length is awkward.
Andie MacDowell in David Meister
She’s had the same hairstyle for over 20 years, but we can’t find fault with anything here.
Ariel Winter in Dolce & Gabbana
We think only a girl this young could get away with something this whimsical. She looks adorable but she has Minnie Mouse feet. Borrow shoes that fit, hon.
Busy Philipps in Temperley London
Looks like a drag queen with no makeup on.
Claire Danes in J. Mendel
It would help if she stood up straight, because the bodice is looking loose and droopy. Great dress, though. Not loving the hair.
Diane Lane in Reem Acra
Serving up old Hollywood glamour.
Dianna Agron in Giles Deacon
It’s … we don’t know … gimmicky?
Elle MacPherson in Zac Posen
We made fun of this on the twitter for looking like exploded lingerie, but we admit the effect in pictures is dramatic.
Emily Watson in Armani
A dress the color of wadded up pantyhose. Jewelry provided by the Home Depot.
Helen Mirren in Badgley Mischka
Queen Helen of Fuckinfantastica has returned to our shores. J’ADORE.
LOVE the hair.
Jessica Chastain in Givenchy
Pretty, but it looked a little too tight on her.
Katharine McPhee in Donna Karan
Pretty, but would a little color kill you, dear?
Lea Michele in Marchesa
Madonna in Reem Acra and Andrea Riseborough in Vivienne Westwood
These two were so weird talking to Seacrest. You could practically see Madonna’s lips move every time Riseborough spoke. Anyway, we kind of love Madge’s dress for being so eye-catching and unusual and we’re kind of bored Andrea’s pseudo-bridal look.
Meryl Streep in Alessandra Rich
Oh Mary LOUISE. A cowboy shirt?
Michelle Williams in Jason Wu
Well, it’s not twee. Oh wait. She’s wearing a headband. Okay, maybe it is a little twee. But it’s more important we discuss the fact that she’s wearing upholstery. Seriously, it’s a great looking gown, but it looks like it weighs 75 pounds.
Naya Rivera in Vera Wang
We don’t like the color, the high neck, or the puckering in the front seam. Such a drab dress.
Nicole Kidman in Versace
This paraded across our screen before we could see who was wearing it and we were shocked later to find out it was Nicole simply because she’s so va-va-voom in it. This is a knockout; best she’s looked on the RC in ages.
Octavia Spencer in Tadashi Shoji
We practically cheered when we saw her. We don’t love this color, and the dress isn’t perhaps as chic as her last few semi-formal outfits, but she looks put the hell together, glamorous, and comfortable. That’s the smile of a lady who knows she looks good.
Piper Perabo in Olivier Theyskens
The “Check out my bigass skirt, bitches!” pose is for drag balls, dear. Also, your entire outfit looks like dingy crinolines.
“The Dingy Crinolines” would be a superb name for an all-girl punk band.
Rooney Mara in Nina Ricci
Not out favorite look of hers lately. Perhaps the Audreybot persona doesn’t translate as well in a gown. Still, she looks weird and you can’t take your eyes off her so, mission accomplished.
Sarah Michelle Gellar in Monique Lhuillier
We hate the big ponytail she was sporting but we kinda dig this dress for being bold and eye-catching.
Stacy Keibler in Valentino
Pretty, but clearly chosen so as not to upstage her date.
Tilda Swinton in Haider Ackermann
BOWING THE FUCK DOWN.
Viola Davis in Emilio Pucci
Viola sweetie, don’t stand that way in a slit skirt. Looks a little desperate. Spectacular dress, though.
Zooey Deschanel in Prada
Yes, it looks a little bit like a Lite Brite board, but we love this dress. Her hair looked ridiculous, however.
[Photo Credit: Getty]