Girl, That’s Not Your Dress: Shailene Woodley in Valentino

Posted on January 31, 2012

We’re calling this “Girl That’s Not Your Dress” because “Girl, THOSE Aren’t Your DressES” sounds awkward and “Girl, That’s Not How You’re Supposed to Wear That Dress” is just too long and unwieldy. The point is:


Shailene Woodley at the 64th Annual Directors Guild Of America Awards in Valentino.

You’re doing it wrong, Shailene.

Valentino Spring 2012 Collection/Model: Josephine Skriver (MARILYN)

Here’s a tip from us that all ladies can apply to their day-to-day lives: When you’re looking over the collections to find a free dress and you see something pretty, but sheer, you should instruct your stylist to make sure the dress comes with a lining to protect your modesty. What you DON’T do is just put on another dress underneath it. That’s just plain dumb.

This girl needs help. We’re more sure than ever that she’s convinced herself she doesn’t need a stylist. Honey? You do. You really, really do. And your good-enough-for-the-second-shift makeup is NOT covering it anymore. Actually, it never was. We’re just being polite.

Yes, this is us being polite. You should see us when we’re rude. Bitchy waiters and telemarketing representatives have been known to cry.


[Photo Credit: Frederick M. Brown, Kevin Winter/Getty Images,]

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  • What are those white flaps?

    This is just… sad.

    • They look like pockets! This is horrible.

    • Sad is the word, yes.

      I think those flaps are pockets.  Pockets!  I would think there’d be a law against pockets in a dress like that. 

      Love the dress on the model! 

      • There aren’t any pockets in that dress (the red one). There MAY be pockets in those awkward looking panels on the dress she chose to wear underneath. Which is stupid, because she can’t use the pockets on the underdress, unless she’s got the body of Elastigirl. No way in hell would Valentino (!!!) put pockets in it, if only because you can’t hide the construction when the dress is sheer.

    • Saddle bags.

    • Cathy S

      That’s very sad. It looks so good on the model. But those pockets! The black whatever it is underneath! So sad.

  • Anonymous

    WTF was she thinking? She looks insane. And the DIY braid — what, did she come in straight from a 5-mile hike without time to brush her hair?

    • On top of it, she used a basic black Goody brand-ish band to tie it up, when there are clear or even color matching mini bands to make it invisible. You wouldn’t wear a scrunchie with couture; what makes her think she can do this?

  • Anonymous

    i really like the red lace.    what she did with it is just stupid

    • Me too. I was all ready to say, “But TLO! This is so cute!”…and then I scrolled down. A scrolldown fug if there ever was one.

    • When I saw the small picture, I thought it was cute, but I trust TLo.  I scrolled down to see why.

  • Oh. Oh goodness, no.

    Are those white things giant pockets? Colorblocking on the underdress? Either way, terrible.

  • It’s so sad, because I think that the dress on the runway is FABULOUS. 

    And are those POCKETS????

  • Anonymous

    Are those pockets? Weird. 

    Anyways, if she’d have lost the strange white flaps inside, and made the inner dress floor length instead, I actually think this would have been gorgeous. I really like the natural hair and make-up, I think it suits her youthfulness. 

    • Anonymous

      Unfortunately, the hair goes past natural and into sloppy.

      • Anonymous

        Yeah, could do with a whole heap of smoothing down. Still think it suits her though.

  • Anonymous

    Are those…pockets? Huh? I’m so confused by this. The runway dress was so pretty. And she just fucked it all up. Awful.

    I am seriously furrowing my brow so hard as I look at this that I fear my mother’s admonishments will come true and my face will stay this way. And it is all your fault Shalene!!

  • Anonymous

    Cute dress, on the model that is.  Those hip flaps (there is no good reason to ever have hip flaps on your clothing and even typing “hip flaps” is wrong) are horrible. 

  • Anonymous

    Omg. She is legit wearing two dresses. She would have been better off just wearing the dress underneath. It is awful that someone-at Valentino or one of her handlers-didn’t step in.

    • Anonymous

      That’s what I was thinking.  How happy must Valentino be to see the words “in Valentino” underneath a photo of something so awful?  If she doesn’t have a stylist, she needs to hire one. Yesterday. If she does have a stylist, fire him/her. Now.  

      • Anonymous

        Agreed. and there must be a point when houses stop loaning if they don’t like the way you are wearing their dresses. If it wasn’t for the fact that Tlo always include the original model photo (love that), this would just look like an awful dress from Valentino.

      • Anonymous

        Some PR flack at Valentino just lost their job.

  • That dress would be GORGEOUS on Zoe Saldana.

    • Christina Brennan

      everything’s gorgeous on Zoe Saldana!

    • Which dress?

  • Vaniljekjeks

    It’s a gorgeous dress.  I love it.  I would have loved it still with a black slip under it, but THAT… just runs it entirely.  It’s not her dress.  It’s my dress…  I wish.

    • Anonymous

      But even with the black slip, the pockets would show and it would still look bad.

      Edited to ask: Where ARE the pockets on the model? Do they simply blend in that well, or are they not in her version?

      • Vaniljekjeks

        She’s not wearing a black slip… shes wearing an awful dress under it!  I meant all black.  No pockets underneath.  Ever.

  • Patti Lever

    Oh dear we can see your flaps.

    • Anonymous

      Belly laugh of the day! 

    • Anonymous

      Maybe T Lo should have solved their titling problems by calling this one “Girl those aren’t your flaps.”

    • LMFAO. Awesome.  I come to the site just as much for the comments as I do for TLo.

  • No, no, it’s cool. The black dress wasn’t a bad enough faux pas, but you just got the white pockets all…out there. I’m embarrassed for you. 

  • Anonymous

    lets just enjoy the runway version of the dress and never speak of Shailene’s abomination of it again….

  • Anonymous

    The underdress looks like she’s wearing a maid’s costume backwards.

  • MilaXX

    Hot mess! How can you look in a mirror, see the pocket lining in one color, the dress underneath in a different color and the dress a 3rd color and this that looks good. You add all that mess and then take away the belt? The only thing of interest on the dress? You may be young and fresh, but this ain’t cutting it.  Her hair looks thick and healthy, but she needs someone to style that. In short, girlfriend needs a makeover in the worst sort of way.

  • leah besson

    its sad because the dress is gorgeous and could look really pretty on her if she would just do it right.

  • Diego!

    That carpet seems to be made of the same lace as the dress!!! That’s really sad!

  • Anonymous

    What the… She’s really wearing two dresses? What the hell?

  • Anonymous

    Oh, this could have been so pretty. What a shame she messed up the lining like that. 

    And I have to disagree with you guys on the makeup. She is young and has such gorgeous skin! Why not let it stand on its own? The hair, not so much. 

  • Is it just me or have all of the Valentino dresses of late been cut from the mid to late-70’s Country Music scene?  I see Loretta Lynn in that red dress with big hair and tacky shoes.

  • I don’t see pockets on the runway model?  Is it maybe colorblocking on the black dress?  Which would make it even worse – let me take this colorblocked dress and throw this real dress over it?  In any case, did she only look in her powder compact mirror before she left the house? 

  • Anonymous

    What is going on on the side of the underdress? Colorblocking or white pockets??

  • Judy_J

    It’s the exposed pocket lining that gets me.  Reminds me of grandma’s apron.

  • It would only have taken a seamstress ten minutes to remove those pockets if she insisted on wearing a non matching color underneath.

  • Anonymous

    She needs more than a stylist – she also needs a mirror and honest friends.

  • the pockets are rendered (practically) invisible when a white lining is worn under the red lace.  as opposed to being SHOWCASED AGAINST A BLACK DRESS.

  • Terence Ng

    Argh, I hate these veil dresses! Pair it with a long, dress if you’re going to wear it!

  • Anonymous

    Isn’t it time for a Cease and Desist with the lace dresses for a couple of seasons?

  • I have a question.  Do stylists work for free?  If not, I imagine that not every actress can afford one even if they are working.  Yes, she happens to be in a movie with George Clooney but her steady job is, I believe, on an ABC Family show.  I know she’s not working for scale but I doubt she’s making beau coup bucks either.  Of course, she probably makes three times as much as I do.

    Common sense should have told her that her ensemble looked like crap though.

    • Anonymous

      I’m sure she can afford a mirror. Even if she isn’t rolling in the bucks and doesn’t have a stylist on call, she has reached the level where she is wearing a Valentino on the red carpet and is in an Oscar-nominated film. Someone had to facilitate the dress loan. If she is just winging it and playing with fashion, then good for her. She’ll learn. But damn, this is awful

      • Anonymous

        maybe she has a mirror but can’t afford glasses.  frames have really gone up, you know.

    • Well, on It’s a Brad, Brad World last night (which TLo no longer seems to be recapping, sadsies 🙁 ) Brad claimed to be getting quite a bit of work, but having to do it for free (and that actresses will just move onto someone who will do it for free if he won’t). So some of them do apparently..and must agree with Anathema_Device – someone had to facilitate a Valentino. I doubt they just sent her a dress? Maybe?? 

  • I feel sorry for Valentino’s designers, what an unpleasant surprise for them

  • Anonymous

    What she’s done to that gorgeous Valentino dress should be a crime. Maybe it is, in Italy.

  • Too bad, because that’s a gorgeous red lace dress. When I saw this picture online I knew T&L would hunt it down and KILL IT

  • Anonymous

    She took a perfectly pretty dress and jacked it up.
    Girl, just call a stylist.

    • Anonymous

      i hear brad’s available (formerly brad of rachel zoe)

  • if she turned the 2 pockets inside out, it could have looked much better. white sashes on the waistline were popular once up a time..

  • Anonymous

    Girl, that’s not even your hair for this dress that’s not your dress. Those are not your pockets either.

    • I agree. On the distant planet where I’d find myself lucky enough to wear Vaentino– I sure as hell wouldn’t be sporting prairie hair with it.

  • Anonymous

    Maybe she’s going clubbing afterwards.

  • Anonymous

    Whuck? Does. not. compute. Too. early. to. parse. such. fuckery.

  • Are those even pockets? Are they odd hip panels on the dress beneath? I can’t tell, and honey, that is NOT a good thing.

    P.S. TLo, are you going to be recapping RPDR this season? I’m dying to hear your thoughts on Jiggly.

  • vmcdanie

    Aw, I heard her interviewed on Leonard Lopate I think and she was such a sweet kid. It’s kind of refreshing she doesn’t have a stylist and she isn’t wearing a sequined washcloth.

    This isn’t good though. Maybe she didn’t realize it was sheer until the last minute and panicked.

  • Anonymous

    omg, i just noticed the pockets…. that’s just not right! 

  • Anonymous

    I like the idea that it was a last minute decision, but instead of her looking in the mirror and realizing “Holy crap! This thing is sheer! What am I going to do?” I like to think that she was planning on wearing just the black dress, but them her mom was like “Shailene Woodley, you are NOT wearing that skimpy dress in public!” And Shailene was like “UGH FINE MOM I’LL THROW THIS VALENTINO ON OVER TOP, ARE YOU HAPPY NOW?”

  • She’s not wearing two dresses. She’s wearing a short color-blocked dress, and then the red carpet came up and tried to swallow her whole. That’s what it looks like from the first picture.

  • Anonymous

    This is stunningly bad.  The thing is, you don’t even have to know anything about style or fashion to just look at that and know that it’s wrong. 

  • Anonymous

    So, I’m just curious (well, Audrey is. She’s feeling a little left behind at the major dogpark events). Say I’m a starlet like little Shailene here or the Glee girls in the early days, and I”m pulling in what, $500K a year (spiting in the dark on this one)? What would I be expected to pay for a stylist? Do I put one on retainer to use at whatever event I need him or her for and pay a certain rate for that show? Or just an amount for a contract to use them whenever? How does this work?

  • But, but, but, her SAG Awards dress was so good! What happened? Hmph.

  • Sara__B

    Well, bless her heart, as my mama would have said. (Translation: She tried, but failed.)

  • I don’t think her hair or makeup look bad here, hell, the best it’s looked in awhile. She needs to chop some of it off or become more adventurous, certainly.

    Take off that silly dress underneath and replace it with a real liner, perfecto.

  • Anonymous

    The pockets! Hahahahhahhahhahha!

    I’m ashamed of myself now because she’s just a young girl, but it had to come out.

  • Anonymous

    is she blind?!?!

  • Anonymous

    Who let her out of the house… I mean, for godsake, look at the pockets!!!

  • Anonymous

    Well, the hair’s kind of cute.

  • Anonymous

    If she had worn a flesh colored full length slip it would have been prefect. With the black long line girdle that highlights the flesh toned pocket bags,  it’s awful.

  • She’s young. She’ll figure it out.

  • There is no way in hell that Valentino put white pockets in a red lace gown. Unless he’s been sharing the PR crack pipe, which I highly doubt, he would never ruin such a great dress that way. I fear Ms. Shailene did indeed not only put a black dress underneath but a black dress with white pockets making her look like she has saddle bags.

    The placement of the white isn’t even right for pockets, it’s too high, no?  Don’t pockets begin at your hip not your waist?

    • White color blocking I meant. Not pockets. Grrr.

      • Anonymous

        it also sort of looks like she has oven mitts tucked in her waistband.

  • She made Valentino cry!  The hair, bad, the makeup, blah, step it up girly!

  • Anonymous

    OK, agreed, this is not a good look. But the real issue is with the designers, who persist in creating these sheer dresses that NO ONE can wear as originally crafted. I mean, except on the runway.

    • Anonymous

      I don’t think it’s that complex to figure out how to wear them. Nude slip or nude bodysuit and this girl’s drama would have been over.

  • Even a red satin slip wouldve been better. I just don’t understand what she was thinking.

  • I don’t know who she is but she does not deserve that dress. The red one, I mean. She should be going to the movies with her friends in the other one. 

  • she’s supposed to be up and coming (although i hardly think so, her work in The Descendants was beyond mediocre and she’s terrible on her tv show), but her team clearly isn’t putting in any effort at all to bump her up.

    • Anonymous

      Indeed beyond mediocre –  She was outstanding! But girl does need a stylist.

  • Call me Bee

    Wow that is unfortunate.  Is she just really young and thought she could get away with this or what?  Very, very odd. 

  • Allison Drury

    Thank you. She was such a cute girl in Descendants but looks like a college kid on her way to an 8am final in every outfit. Hair and makeup have been atrocious. There’s a reason people get paid to be experts in those fields. Not everyone can pull off self-styling in the beauty department like Rachel Bilson.

  • Anonymous

    Truly awful, poor kid.  This isn’t anybody’s dress!

  • Did Pa Ingalls sell Laura to the Olsen’s bordello?

  • Oh good lord, who let her out of the house like that?  She doesn’t have stylists, clearly, but where are her friends?  To her credit, she does have that awkward ‘this isn’t working, is it?’ look on her face.

    If *this* doesn’t compel her to get some fashion help, I don’t even know what to say.

  • Anonymous

    and darling, if you must (for some ungodly reason) try this dress over a dress look, which hearkens back to hippie junkie street chicks of 1969, please try to choose a one color dress for underneath.  this makes the lovely red valentino gown look like it has huge hip pockets made of cheap white lining.  not a flattering look, dear.  

    how old is she?  from seeing her on the rc, i can’t tell if she’s a child or a woman.

  • Anonymous

    It should be a goddam crime to mess up a Valentino like that.

  • Anonymous

    Why is this not lined? Has the tanning gone to Valentino’s brain? Get a grip ye orange one!

  • Anonymous

    it’s lined on the runway so what she did to it is even odder.
    otoh, it looks better w/ a black lining. but not w/ gigantic kangaroo pouches on either side. i cant even figure out where those pockets are coming from. the red dress? the black dress? if she wanted to put a black dress under it, it needed to be a floor length black dress. that would be dramatic. this just screams she doesnt know what she’s doing.

  • Anonymous

    Wow, this is better than the ‘how to disgrace a Chanel’ case. It’s looks like cheap lace from the market (the way she wears it).

  • Anonymous

    Such a gorgeous color and line. How could she not see how stupid this looks?

    (And wow…this dress has *pockets*? That’s unexpected.)

  • She might have gotten away with it, but for the pocket flaps.

  • Anonymous

    How in the world could the designer send her the dress unlined after it was shown on the runway lined?  She may have been blindsided by that – and the fact that there are light colored pockects?  Totally the designer’s fault.  Poor girl.

  • Carla Williams

    She has looked terrible at every appearance, but I hate stylists. They make everything too generically pretty–think of your SAG award comments. Lotsa generic pretty, probably lotsa stylists behind that.

    These spectacularly ugly things make the whole thing more interesting.

  • Anonymous

    She looks like she was serving cocktails and decided to throw on a lace dress over her uniform and join the party.

  • She can rock the shorter hair, I think.

  • elzatelzabelz

    She needs a stylist and a make-up artist STAT. She’s so pretty, but completely washed out at almost every event so far.

  • Anonymous

    RED is not your colour.

  • Maybe it’s her under-dress that has pockets?  The model’s dress doesn’t have them and who the flaming fuck would put pockets on a lace dress anyway???

  • Anonymous

    🙁 Still rooting for her. Please get it together, girl, I want the best for you (and that is obviously what you should care about the most). This is a sad.

  • Anonymous

    Those pocket bags are the most ridiculous and funniest thing I have seen this year so far. I imagine her lifting the whole skirt off and getting entangled like in a web just to retrieve some silly crap from the pockets. Hilarious.

  • the red lace is lush, why wreck with it such a hideous dress/lining/whatever that ‘thing’ is?!

  • hillary mccloskey

    I think she looks great! I love the black under the red. she doesn’t need a stylist becomes she doesn’t want to copy the original look she gave her own spin on it! which I think is great and she has the confidence to do it so good for. I say work it girl!