Critics’ Choice Movie Awards Red Carpet – Part 1

Posted on January 13, 2012

Don’t you just love awards season, darlings? So many bad choices, so little time to point them out.

Ahna O’Reilly

 We’re almost sorry we used this joke yesterday, because it applies equally as well here: she looks like she’s wearing the lining to a much prettier dress.


Brad Pitt in Gucci

 Dude, why are your tuxes all so big on you? This one actually isn’t too bad, but you still look like you suffered a sudden weight loss.


Busy Philipps in Antonio Berardi

 Don’t like the shape here at all. Her curves are straightened out and her shoulders are broadened.


Carrie Keagan

Female drag queen. Total compliment.


Diane Kruger in Prada

 We like the yellow and gray combo, but we don’t think this dress needed competing yellows. Interesting, though. Reminds us of hard-boiled eggs.


Elizabeth Olsen in Emilio Pucci


Wrong shoes.


Ellie Kemper in Alberta Ferretti

 Pretty, but the bottom’s kind of weird.


Evan Rachel Wood in Valentino

Flawless, but also surprisingly understated.



Jessica Chastain in Balenciaga

Pretty, but the top’s maybe a little too blouson.


Kirsten Dunst in Christian Dior

Gorgeous and chic – even with the bows and sadly standard shoes.


Melissa McCarthy in David Meister

She gets a lot of press for dressing her size well and we have to say, we rarely agree. This suits her very well, though.


Shailene Woodley in Calvin Klein 

 The ladies always go for the pin-straight hair and lack of jewelry when they get a CK gown. Ladies, you don’t have to make yourself up like a CK model when you wear one of his dresses. It looks good, but it also looks very expected.


Stacy Keibler  in Giorgio Armani and George Clooney

Seems like every picture of them has her looking at him and him looking away. We don’t love her hair this way for this dress, but she looks great otherwise.


Viola Davis in Raoul

Again with the shoulder-broadening. No complaints, though. She looks striking once again.

Blouson tops are going to be a thing this awards season. The ladies want to eat carbs, apparently.


[Photo Credit: Jason Merritt/Getty Images, Andrew Evans/PR Photos]

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  • Carrie Keagan’s dress looks like it came from S6 Irina’s Fall 2010 Collection.

    • She looks like a Bantam rooster.

    • Anonymous

      I thought that too!

  • Have you noticed that all of the larger ladies are dressing in David Meister? He seems to be able to fit them well and make them look amazing.

    • MilaXX

      I have and I think I love him for it.

      • Anonymous

        Me too!  This one in particular is stunningly well suited and fitted.

    • Anonymous

      Yes. Melissa McCarthy looks gorgeous and confident in this dress. It really fits her like a dream and the neckline is super-flattering.

      • Anonymous

        Agreed. She looks amazing.

      • Anonymous

        Agreed. She looks amazing.

  • Ooo i love this time of year! I actually like the lining dress at the beginning. 

    Anyway, fast TLo blog blog, i’ve got a boring Friday afternoon stretching ahead of me x

  • foodycat

    Next Thanksgiving I want everyone to save the feathers from their turkeys for making dresses. A fun family project and chic!

  • Anonymous

    ERW for the win, with Kiki a close second.

    Elizabeth Olsen is making me think of scrambled eggs, which is what I should have had for breakfast. Jesus in a tux is making me weary.

  • Anonymous

    Evan Rachel Wood, Kirsten, and the lady in the Calvin Klein for the win.  Jessica Chastain is so beautiful and I generally love Balenciaga but that dress is horrid — the blouson look in evening wear doesn’t do it for me.  Good for tight blue jeans with high heels but no need for it on the red carpet. I think Stacey Keibler is proving injurious to Clooney’s physical well-being.

    • Anonymous

      “I think Stacey Keibler is proving injurious to Clooney’s physical well-being.”
      Haha, I was wondering what might be wrong. Because something is definitely not right.

      • Anonymous

        God and all the saints forgive me, but in every photo I’ve seen of them together, all I can think of is “vagina dentata.”  She always looks like she still can’t believe her immense good fortune and he looks like he’s ready for the Witness Protection Program.  I have visions of her throwing him around hotel rooms, demanding that her needs be met stat.  The universe will punish me now for these nasty ruminations.

  • Anonymous

    Not enough fug in this group!  Good dressing cuts down on the bitch quotient.  🙁

    I actually like the first dress–and LOVE the shoes.  Also looking great: Diane Kruger, Elizabeth Olsen (yes, wrong shoes), Kirsten Dunst (terrible shoes).  But it’s Evan Rachel Wood who takes it with that clean, cool elegance.  It is hard to understand, though, how she and, say, Elizabeth Olsen, are at the same event. 

    So BIG thanks to Carrie Keagan for that completely overwrought and insane baby owl costume.  With stupid shoes.  Love you, babe!

    • Anonymous

      Insane baby owl… tee hee

  • The Diane Kruger dress makes a funny effect on her boobs. Maybe it’s just the picture, but I don’t like it. 
    It helps she’s so pretty that nobody but a bitter gay man pays attention to that. 

    • Alisa Rivera

      I’m not bitter or gay or a man, but I agree. I also think the dress is a bit too tight.

    • Lori

      I’m also not a bitter gay man, but ITA. The first thing I noticed was that the dress is doing something unpleasant to her boobs. I think it’s too tight and the a bra was needed. Diane Kruger is gorgeous, but she’s not 22 any more. The girls need support.

  • Anonymous

    I usually like a pop of color, but I’m not getting Diane Kruger’s pink clutch.  The dress is busy enough on its own.  A complimentary clutch would have been better.

    • Anonymous

      I agree about that clutch, it’s off putting.  Also, there is something about her hair with that dress that leaves me bored.

      • Anonymous

        I was just thinking it’s as though she didn’t know what to do with her hair that day so she just slapped it on top of her head and left the house without looking in the mirror.

  • Anonymous

    Amazing how the two guys pictured are frowning while all the ladies serve up big styles.  I love double standards!

  • Anonymous

    Clooney’s in a tux standing next to a woman in a white dress.  He’s not only looking away, he’s looking for an escape route.  They’d kind of make a humorous wedding-cake topper in a “What they’re really thinking” kind of way!

    • She makes him look dumpy and old in every picture they take. I think he’d look younger if he dated someone closer to his age and height.

      • Anonymous

        LOL, but men of a certain age have just never gotten that “you’d look younger if you dated closer to your own age” memo, have they?  (Despite that women of a certain age have been trying to send it for, like, forever!)

  • MilaXX

    Drive by post on my way out the door but I have to ask, “Why is Carrie Keagan dressed like a chicken in drag?”

  • lolol @ a couple of things:

    “Reminds us of hard-boiled eggs.”
    “The ladies want to eat carbs, apparently.”

  • Anonymous

    I like Melissa McCarthy’s dress just fine, but whoever did her make-up needs to get shitcanned immediately. Weird and aging.

    • Anonymous

      Really? I think she looks very pretty and not any older than the 41 she is. 

    • I agree about the makeup, it is weird. Not aging, exactly as she isn’t a kid, but not a fresh looking as she usually is. The dress needs a slightly stronger shoulder to balance the hips better – she looks too rounded on top. Not a lot, just something. Otherwise, fantastic.

      • As a round person with sloping shoulders, I really miss shoulder pads to eliminate that downward drag.

  • Diane K – Borg Queen outfit with a pretty bodice
    Ellie K – Updated flapper look (preview of Sybil – DA – after the WWI)
    Shailene W. – The Millionaire Matchmaker tells all the women to straighten their hair so that millionaire guys will notice them.

    • Anonymous

      Millionaire guys only notice straight hair? 

      • MilaXX

        Yes one of the many idiotic things Patty Stangler has said.

  • Anonymous

    Carrie Keagan’s dress looks like a feather duster. I expect more from my drag queens. 

    ERW looks fabulous and really no one has fugged it up here. 

  • Anonymous

    I think Melissa McCarthy looks great! Very flattering dress for her figure.

  • I love the colors of the Diane Kreuger dress, but the pattern is just a skosh too busy, even for such an understated pattern, or color blocking or whatever you call it. Great to see a lot of different colors on the red carpet.

    Is anyone at this point buying the idea that Clooney and Keebler are a couple? She must be well-compensated for her time.

    • Anonymous

      Yeah, I don’t get who buys that stuff.  His girlfriends only happen when there is a movie/awards season to promote.  Sarah Larson era = Michael Clayton, Elisabetta Canalis (sp?) = Up in the Air, and she’s the Descendants girlfriend.  Pretty transparent.

    • Anonymous

      Being on George Clooney’s arm would MORE than compensate me for my time!

  • emily mcginnis

    There is something about Carrie Keagan’s dress that I love. It is so different from everything else out there. However, it doesn’t look like it fits well on the top though. 

  • Anonymous

    The hard-boiled egg comment made my day.

  • Anonymous

    Poor George looks like he wants to run the other direction

  • I think my favorite part about reading these is seeing if I agree with or not.I give my self a point when we agree and lose one when we don’t.  I came out ahead this time!

  • Diggin the pale yellow so many of them are wearing.  I actually love Ahna O’Reilly’s dress, and the fact that she wore it with the lavender shoes.  Also LOVE Diane Kruger and Evan Rachel Wood, and I think that’s the best Stacy Keibler has ever looked. Kirsten Dunst has improved so much since she was younger.

  • I love Viola Davis. Hope she wins big this year.

    • MilaXX

      she’s my girl crush

    • Anonymous

      I think it’s a testament to how stunning she usually looks that seeing her look sort of generically good here made me think, “Ruh-roh. Misstep for Ms. Davis.”

      On an unfashion-y note, I’m thrilled she’s getting so much attention for her performance, but I still think it’s more of a suppoting role. Category fraud?

  • Anonymous

    I can’t get with ERW’s Von Trapp family hair, and she needs some visible earrings. I wonder if Ms. Kemper was in motion when the photo was taken, and that’s why why the hem is flying? Kruger–hard boiled eggs–LOL!!! And if the blouson silhouette is really going to be an “in” look this season, than your job just got easier, TLo. All you’ll have to do is write the same “unflattering and makes the shoulders look too broad” sentence over and over….. Congratulations!

  • Judy_J

    Diane Krueger’s hard boiled egg dress….eggsactly!  Pretty shape and draping, but I can’t look at it without thinking it needs a sprinkle of paprika.

  • Anonymous

    Melissa McCarthy looks fantastic!  Seriously, I would give her a WERQ, that fit is flawless, the color is great on her and her hair and makeup look very, very pretty.  (Can you tell I’m a MMcC fan?  From “Gilmore Girls” days….)  Also, Kirsten Dunst does look gorgeous here as well.  That dress on jessica isn’t a touch too blouson, it’s “OMG! I borrowed the dress from Pam Anderson and forgot to borrow the tits to go with it!”.

  • Anonymous

    I know you love ERW but I don’t get it. The dress makes her look like Morticia Addams blond twin. And the contrast between the big girl (who looks amazing) and the wafer thin waif after her is striking–and not in a good way for the skinny girl. She looks sickly. I’m going with Dunst for the win and a shout out to Busy Phillips just b/c I love her. 

  • In that picture Clooney looks like a trained monkey.

  • I can understand the crossed leg pose, but when I see it repeated like this it starts to look silly.

    • Can you explained the crossed-leg pose to me? Because I don’t understand it at all. It just makes them look like they desperately have to go the bathroom.

      • Susan Crawford

        After seeing a bazillion women posing like this on the red carpet, I decided to try it out myself and discovered that if you have a touch of vertigo, this pose will make you feel like you are about to tip over! And yes – the crossed-leggers look as though they are doing what my mother used to call “the tinkle dance”.

  • Sarah Tyrchniewicz

    THANK YOU for saying that about CK dresses and people wearing them trying to look like CK models! I’m a bit slow to catch on sometime but I’ve been trying to figure out why I never seem to like people in CK gowns that are perfectly awesome. And you hit the nail on the head there! Of course, you usually do.

  • Anonymous

    Is Jessica Chastain wearing a pink version of the tan/grey thing that Jolie wore recently?  

  • I liked Ahna O’Reilly’s dress. Very delicate and pretty, maybe not seasonal but she looks good.  Most of these women look pretty good (no comment on Mr. Pitt) but your critiques are welcome–I feel more awake already.

  • Anonymous

    Viola Davis and Melissa McCarthy are both looking especially fabulous here.  I notice that George Clooney is always photographed with his girlfriend, even when everyone else is pictured alone.  OK, George, we see her.

  • I am the only one concerned about Carrie Keagan’s feet?  Maybe its just the angle, but something’s jutting out something awful!

  • Anonymous

    Re: Carrie Keagan

    It really looks like a drag queen killed and skinned the Black Swan.

  • Anonymous

    Hooray for carbs! I’m sorry, but life is just not worth living if you can’t have potatoes.

    Favorites here:
    Carrie Keagan: That dress is crazy, but ya gotta love a girl who can pull that off
    Diane Kruger, but I’m not loving the hair. She looks like she’s receding.
    Elizabeth Olsen – she’s so cute
    ERW – I just love the expression she always has on her face. Like suck it, bitches.
    Kirsten Dunst- wow, she normally shows up looking like such a slug, but this is nice. I wish she would change her hair color to red, the same red she had as MJ in Spiderman. She looked stunning.
    Melissa McCarthy- I love the color and the neckline and the fact that it fits her beautifully.
    Stacy Kiebler- She looks gorgeous, but she’s too tall for him.


    • I think the blouson look is not necessarily going to continue all awards season.  I interpret the blouson dress as the wearer’s signal that they know this event is not as formal as others.  Come Oscar time, those girls will be wearing the gowns with structure, flattering and supportive.

  • I rather like Ahna O’Reilly. She looks fresh.

  • Call me Bee

    Were they all told to pose with their hands on their hips.  Weird.  And it’s a weird backdrop, no?  Just a piece of gray flannel?  Looks like my quilt design wall. 
    Anyhoo…the first dress made me start–so unflattering.  And the rest are all pretty boring, really, except for the Pucci.  I like that a lot, except that it looks out of place at a winter event.   Oh–that pink number is by far the worst. I does look like something A Jolie wore a few weeks ago in grey. It was ugly on her, too.

  • Anonymous

    Evan Rachel Wood —  Marlene Dietrich One Eyebrow Raise —-Nailed It!

    • Anonymous

      I noticed the Dietrich brow, too. It’s as if she’s telling the camera, “I know I look better than any of these other bitches here.” And she’s right.

  • Anonymous

    Jessica Chastain …..  Bubblicious

  • Anonymous

    “The ladies want to eat carbs, apparently.”

    Amen to that!

    • Anonymous

      And Hallejah too! Anybody that doesn’t want their carbs, I’ll take ’em.

  • Pennymac

    Any body else see a ballon caption over George Clooneys head saying, “Back in my day, I tell ya, these whippersnappers dressed like they were the cats pajamas”. What is it about his stance in the picture that reminds me of a little old man? Is it the giant gorgeous blonde standing next to him, or what?

    • In a few years he’ll be starring in The George Burns Story.

      • Anonymous

        He needs a shorter trophy.

  • Anonymous

    I’ll ask again, what the heck did La Dunst have done to her face? She is barely recognizable.

  • Anonymous

    To answer your very first question, yes I love awards season! Even more so when accompanied by your delightful commentary. This was the best group of the bunch. Although it was jarring to see Brad Pitt jump out amidst the b-listers and females. Maybe he’s picked up Angie’s eating habits (or lack thereof), hence the big tuxes?

    I must be partial to linings because I like Ahna’s dress. (Even though I have no idea who she is.) My faves are the two yellow numbers  and Kiki Dunst’s. She gets my vote for best look overall, I even like her shoe choice.

    George Clooney looks like a grumpy old man. He looks like he’s shrinking, too.

  • Anonymous

    Carrie Keegan — looks like a golden eagle threw up on her.

    Melissa McCarthy – gorgeous.

    I think E. Olsen’s dress makes her look stumpy.

  • MilaXX

    Ahna O’Reilly – These light and airy looks need a little something to keep them from looking like slips. Maybe better jewelry or a bag? Not sure what.
    Brad Pitt – First of all, CUT THE HAIR! Secondly, he looks like he buys the suit without getting it tailored and who does that with such an expensive suit?
    Busy Philipps – Again, nice color, but the shape isn’t that great and it’s an old looking dress in a young(ish) person.
    Carrie Keagan – Chicken/owl/hawk  drag queen.
    Diane Kruger – The top almost has a breast plat look to it. I don’t mind the competing yellows, but I don’t like the pink bag with it. Between the 2 shades of yellow & the gray tones, a pop of color wasn’t really needed.
    Elizabeth Olsen – Cute dress, awful shoes.
    Ellie Kemper – Every time I see her name I read Ellie Mae Klampett.
    Evan Rachel Wood – Simple, but pretty.
    Jessica Chastain – Nice color, but the top is too billowy
    Kirsten Dunst – Another well done, clean and simple look.
    Melissa McCarthy – Loving David Meister. I think when she designs her own clothes she make small mistakes like the purple dress that she had made with dolman sleeves. David Meister doesn’t to do that, he appears to use draping an ruching for the curvy gals. Whatever he’s doing this is one of the best looks on her I’ve ever seen.
    Shailene Woodley – Boring – she needs a warmer lip and some jewelry.
    Stacy Keibler- Boring, bland, generic.
    Viola Davis – Love the color and like her showing her arms.

  • Diane Krueger is lovely, but the brighter yellow running down her skirt is distracting.  I’m not sure about hard-boiled; to me it looks like the fried eggs where I insist my husband crack the yolk open for me while it’s cooking.

  • Anonymous

    I’m liking the yellows a lot. Might because I’m living vicariously, as yellow looks absolutely horrid on me but I like it.

  • Anonymous

    I want to take Carrie Keagan’s dress to a very private place and roll around in it. GLORIOUS.

  • Oooh, don’t love ERW blonde, hope it’s for a role. (Of course she looks stunning otherwise)

  • Anonymous

    I seriously wonder how, out of all the women who auditioned to be Clooney’s sidepiece, this one got the role. They just look…wrong.

  • Anonymous

    I will never get tired of reading  “Stacey Keibler in and George Clooney.” And, what a divine accessory he is!

  • margaret meyers

    Diane Kruger’s Prada is reminding me of Bert’s failed parrot dress — he fell in love with the color combination of grey claw and yellow feathers.

  • Renee Thomas

    I think Viola looks stunning but think it would be better with a little less cleavage showing. She looks like she’s holding her shoulder up to keep the vee neck from going too low.

    Chastain needs to stop pulling her hair back so severely.

    Kruger and Dunst look fantastic.

  • Anonymous

    “the ladies wnt to eat carbs apparently.”  Good for the ladies!

  • Anonymous

    “the ladies wnt to eat carbs apparently.”  Good for the ladies!

  • Carrie Keagan’s dress reminds me of those handsome roosters I saw in Ohio Sate Fair. She must have killed all of them to make that dress.

  • LOVED the Prada dress on Diane Kruger! 

    • Susan Crawford

      Me, too, Judi! Kruger really has that old Dietrich glamour going, doesn’t she? Can’t see anybody else able to rock this dress like Diane. Flawless and elegant as always.

  • Blousons = bibs

  • Anonymous

    Both Melissa McCarthy and ERW seem to be saying, “THIS is how it’s done, bitches.”  And they are so right!

  • Anonymous

    I have to say, everyone in this group actually did pretty well.  I’m expecting some hiddy in the next post or my day will not have nearly enough bitchery.

    George looks increasingly constipated around Stacy.  I think she’s doing bad things for his intestines.  Get away from her, George!

  • Susan Crawford

    If Evan Rachel Wood is going the hair up and black column dress route, she really, really, REALLY could have used some jewels. A crazy Bulgari bib or a pair of Winston ruby and diamond chandeliers – kaPOW! As it is – kinda bland, although the dress IS fabulous on her.

    • Anonymous

      how can these women say no to diamonds? and rubies, and emeralds, and….

  • Anonymous

    Again I ask, who is Carrie Keagan?! And why does she insist on trying to bring the fans of Animal Planet and the Playboy channel together under one RC ensemble????

  • Anonymous

    ahna:  tea time
    brad:  shave your neck
    busy:  don’t you know michael costello owns the color red?
    carrie:  hell of a cha-cha dress.  one boob’s spilling out.
    diane:  hard boiled yolks and a kneaded eraser.  are those little handprints on your boobs?  we’re all about boobs today chez sleah
    elizabeth:  pinata party
    ellie:  for a good time, call me.
    evan:  i look tres chic, no?
    jessica:  guess what i’m hiding in my top.
    kirsten:  naughty tea party
    melissa:  the kate smith hour
    shailene:  wet putty
    stacy:  valerie precious takes grandpa out of the nursing home for the evening
    viola:  you work those guns, girlfriend

  • Allison Woods


    Drag Queen–also WERK, but in drag.

  • Anonymous

    SHAILENE WOODLEY. UGH. She continues to be amateur hour. 

  • Susan Walker

    Sparkly and plus size is a bad combination – I say that as a plus size woman.

  • Anonymous

    Okay, Elizabeth Olsen looks hideous (sorry, boys), and George looks as if he’s entertaining his niece.  Can he act his age anytime soon, or are we going to have to endure this babysitting saga forever?

  • Anonymous

    Ok, I think it’s official. Pale yellow is happening. Love the Olsen non-twin’s dress. ERW is fab, as always.

  • Anonymous

    Terrible looks, all of them, except S.Keibler’s.

  • Anonymous

    I think Carrie Keegan’s dress looks like a feather duster.  I have some cat hair tumbleweeds in my front hall.  It would be awesome if she would stop by and practice her red carpet stroll

  • marilyn

    Brad Pitt needs to do something with his hair, like cut it.  He looks like a mechanic who hangs out in a low life bar when not at work.  That does not mesh with the expensive clothes he wears.