Cover Boys: Craig, Clooney and Damon for Vanity Fair

Posted on January 05, 2012

“For the first time ever, Vanity Fair pits three of Hollywood’s most fascinating leading men against one another for that signature illuminating interrogation of ours, the Proust Questionnaire…”

Oh, who cares. We know our kittens and they’re all about the visual. Well, here you go, ladies and ladyboys. Bathe in the fauxtosterone:

Daniel Craig, George Clooney and Matt Damon cover the February 2012 issue of Vanity Fair magazine photographed by Annie Leibovitz and styled by Jessica Diehl.

George Clooney wants to come back as his dog, because “he lives better.” Matt Damon is happiest “in our bed, making our children, and in the hospital watching them being born.” Daniel Craig’s most treasured possessions: “Apart from my penis and my health?”

We’ll leave it to y’all to dissect the meanings behind these utterances. Us? We’re all about objectifying men:

 

Clooney’s serving up Clooney and Craig is giving his standard face, but Damon hasn’t looked that hot in ages.

 

[Photo Credit: Annie Leibovitz for vanityfair.com]

    • http://twitter.com/LOfficielEbony TheVeryLivingEND

      Ooh la la

    • http://www.facebook.com/foodhussy Heather Johnson

      Craig has some big ears…but that is a yummy sandwich!

      • http://twitter.com/BootLadyTeri23 Teri Horne

        Best to think of his ears as potential handles.

    • Anonymous

      CLOONEY. Always and forever. Unless it’s that one shot where Daniel Craig is coming up out of the water as James Bond.

      • Anonymous

        Or the scene in Tomb Raider where he’s in the shower…

      • Anonymous

        The scene in Casino Royale when he’s tied to the chair – whoa, that’s the scene that made me sit up and take notice!

        • Anonymous

          The  scene sitting in the shower fully clothed for me :)

        • Anonymous

          See Girl With the Dragon Tattoo. There is some very nice Craig candy in it. (Going around in briefs, having lots of sex, etc.)

      • MilaXX

        Girl yes! That shower scene is the business.

        • Anonymous

          Oh yeaaaaah!

    • http://www.facebook.com/people/Patrick-Cleary/1201575213 Patrick Cleary

      I adore how they either positioned them or Photoshopped them to be the exact. same. height.

      • http://www.facebook.com/charlotte.horseman Charlotte Horseman

        Huh.. you’re right.  Probably in the contracts!  Haha!

        • http://pulse.yahoo.com/_2CNDPMVO4W23R5TVC2QMTJ5BZE Heather

          true! anyone know their actual heights? i think damon and clooney are both supposedly 5’10″, which means they’re probably more like 5’8″.

          • Anonymous

            Supposedly they’re all around 5’10″ to 5’11″.  But there’s no way Craig or Damon are that tall.

            • Anonymous

              Lol! I think Damon is much shorter. Did you see him on 30 Rock? Tina Fey isn’t much over 5 ft. and Damon was only a few inches taller in the scenes they did together. I’d guess he’s closer to 5’6.

            • Anonymous

              The internet is claiming that DC and MD are 5’10″ (SNORT) and GC is 5’11″ (SNARF)  but hey, I just thought everyone in H’wood is short with a giant head…speaking from personal experience.

      • http://twitter.com/homodachi Monica

        Not to mention Matt’s Frankenstein-length right arm. His hand is well into the uncanny valley as well.

    • Anonymous

      AAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHH!, as the porn “novels” say.  What one of the minions referred to in another post as my “lady zone” just thanked me for gazing at that photo for as long as I did.

      Excuse me, while I catch my breath.

      Clooney and Damon: total, shame-free love for these guys.  And even though there’s plenty of P-shopping going on, they look so cool.  I need to read all their answers to the Proust Questionnaire.  As for Daniel Craig, his answer–”My penis”–to the question of what is his most prized possession put me right off him.  Good for you, douchebag: You’ve got a big dick.  A little self-deprecating humor would have been a lot more appealing.

      • Anonymous

        I thought he was being self deprecating, he’s a Brit. :)

        • Anonymous

          It’s possible he was making an attempt.  But it was a clumsy attempt.  

          • Anonymous

            He was being a total smart-ass. As far as I can tell he has a hard time taking interviews and such seriously. But, of course I could be wrong. 

        • Anonymous

          Same here. Matt Damon’s answer was the one that made my eye rolls.

          • BerlinerNYC

            It’s a bit “ew” for me, but I’ll give him a pass. He’s my standard example of a celebrity who does NOT (ahem, Brangelina) constantly parade his brood for the paparazzi. He’s got a wife and 4 kids, and I cannot recall seeing a picture of any of them, and he’s pretty A-list. Reminds you that many/most of those candid shots of stars with their kids (coughcoughJolie-Pitts) are totally set up by people’s publicists (or they themselves) tipping off the paparazzi in advance. So if he wants to be a little “ew” in his enthusiasm for his wife & kids, I’ll allow it, since he’s not whoring them out to the press on a daily basis.

            • Anonymous

              Yes, I see what you mean and you made a good point. 

            • http://www.facebook.com/people/Michael-Zenn-Reed/1106184861 Michael Zenn Reed

              You must be an idiot. Maybe you haven’t realized that Brad and Angie are one of the most photographed people in the world. Their pictures are worth millions. That’s why paps follow them. No one cares about Damon and his family. He maybe A-list but his wife is just a regular wife. Brad and Angie are both triple A-list. And by the way, Brad and Angie don’t have publicist dum dum. Google is your friend.

          • Anonymous

            The “watching them being born” thing was way creepy.

          • Anonymous

            Yes. I would like to think it means that he loves being a family man and adores his wife and kids, but it did have a whiff of “traditional values” (in the bad, right-wing sense) to it. Hopefully just poor word-choice.

    • Anonymous

      Damon just looks like he belongs On The Waterfront here.  [shrugs]

      • MilaXX

        He’s covering his bald head so I give him a pass. He and Jude Law are in the same movie, hence the bad hats they’ve been wearing lately.

        • Anonymous

          It is exactly this type of cerebral insight that keeps me coming back!  Thanks MilaXX!

    • aimee_parrott

      Mmm mmm mmm.  Yum.

    • Anonymous

      damon looks like a drug dealer.
      i wish i didnt know but, oh, yes i do.
      [as an aside, it isnt me who needs open heart surgery. anyway.]

      • Anonymous

        Clooney is really, really smart and has good hair.  And he’s right there. 

        • Anonymous

          i’m afraid i wont fight you for him, he’s not my type at all.
          but he’s been in some pretty good movies, every once in awhile. though the book for men who stare at goats is much better than the film. then again, i’d rather go out w/ its author [were i pressed] than any of the actors above & his hair is not great, so i guess it’s not exactly a dealbreaker. then again, again, my year’s gonna be filled w/ taking care of a person from the entertainment industry who refused to in any way bring his substance issues to curb [or even to heel], so maybe i’m just a wee bit burnt out on the whole thing.

    • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=1253053236 Belle Burnett

      If by “hot” you mean “too bad about that hat, but we understand that you shaved your luscious locks for a movie,” then yes.

      • foodycat

        Exactly! Such a beautiful face and they put that stupid hat on him?

    • Anonymous

      My exact thoughts. When was the last time Matt Damon looked that good? Must be because the shaggy hair is covered up.

      • MilaXX

        Somewhere between Mr. Ripley and Jason Bourne. (The first one)

      • http://www.GiftedCollector.com Nancy Abrams

        I never thought much of Matt Damon’s looks, but he does seem to be getting better with age.

        Sorry, but I still don’t like Daniel Craig’s silly putty face.

        • http://beautyforrealgirls.blogspot.com/ accidental housewife

          I agree about Damon. Like Richard Gere and Mark Harmon, he’s 100 x better looking now that he’s older. (Although I’ve always liked Harmon. Gere is the one who really didn’t appeal to me when he was a young man. Too angular and cold for my taste.)

      • BerlinerNYC

        His head is completely shaved for the film he’s currently shooting.

    • http://www.facebook.com/people/Jared-C-Wood/1483120929 Jared C. Wood

      Does Matt’s right arm look hella long, or is it just me? Iam sure Annie has the budget for appropriate air brushing.

      • Anonymous

        It is too long and it is both driving me crazy and scaring me a little. One’s elbow should not align with one’s buttocks.

    • http://twitter.com/PhDKnitter marlie

      It suddenly got a little warm in here…

      Clooney will always, ALWAYS do it for me.

    • Anonymous

      George looks like his usual gorgeous self and nobody can compete with that in my book, but Damon looks more street urchin than hot to me. Daniel does nothing for me, especially the ears.

    • Anonymous

      Yum to all three.

    • http://pulse.yahoo.com/_K7VOQSAYZ7H2OBX6LOJNNIBSSE Amanda

      Matt Damon is sexy again!

    • Anonymous

      Clooney FTW. Damon looks utterly nondescript. Craig needs to get back to looking like Bond pronto because my patience is wearing thin. He is channeling his inner Slavic janitor persona way too often.

      • Anonymous

        “Slavic janitor persona” LMAO

        It’s Dr. Jan-ITOR, if you please.

    • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=1264609232 Samantha Ritchie

      Matt Damon…YES.

    • Anonymous

      I’ll be in my bunk.

    • Anonymous

      So Clooney’s camping up, Damon’s transformation into a suburban dad is almost 100% complete and Daniel Craig is a Bastard Brit, Amen.

      How is this riveting, exactly?

    • https://profiles.google.com/104791269167429064986/ Judy S

      I don’t think Proust would have bothered with a questionnaire for these three.

    • Eclectic Mayhem

      George, George, George.  Always and forever.

    • Anonymous

      No complaints from the this minion.  :)

    • Anonymous

      matty totes looks hotter than usual, but the more i look at daniel craig, the more unattractive i find him. if he didn’t have those eyes, he’d look like a weird bloated cartoon character version of a human.

    • Anonymous

      That’ll do.

    • http://twitter.com/TheRealSandraOh Sandra Oh

      I’ve seen Daniel Craig IRL and trust me, he’s gorgeous.  Those eyes.  OMG.

    • Anonymous

      I guess it is interesting that they have not photoshopped them (like the women always are), but dang they look tired

    • MilaXX

      Who cares about the interviews? From the snippets I’ve seen it’s all the same blah blah they usually give. Imma just look at the pretty .

    • Anonymous

      They gave interviews?  WHO CARES?  I just want to gaze on the trifecta of hotness, the perfect storm of handsome.  You can take your pretty, pretty boys but give me these men any day.

    • Anonymous

      Everything about the photo is too drab for me.  Is their skin really that muddy brown color?

    • Anonymous

      I’m hoping that none of these guys actually said those things and that you made them up just to mess with us, because I don’t want to believe that any of them could possibly be such a douche.  But this picture, this is fabulous.

    • iCouture

      The only thing that Clooney oozes is doucheappeal.  Cannot.stand.him.

    • Judy_J

      George Clooney is gorgeous, but his dad Nick Clooney was, in his day, even better.  And I totally understand his comment about coming back as his dog.  I’ve often said that if there is reincarnation, I want to come back as a house cat owned by someone like me.

    • CQAussie

      HOLY SHIT.  They are so hot.  But Matt Damon is SMOKING UP that cover.  Delish.

    • http://pleasewelcomeyourjudges.com/ Brian @ PWYJudges

      Oh my sweet gherkins. Matt Damon looks fantastic. 

    • Anonymous

      THANK YOU.

    • Anonymous

      Intern George.  [Thanks, Fug Girls - that always amuses me, even if I don't read you any more; it's burnt into my brain.]  I like the intelligent vibe that he gives off, in addition to genetic gifts that make him easy on my eyes and volcanic in this now smothering sweater.  That man does good work (UN election work in Sudan a year ago, when he contracted malaria), which makes him attractive and appealing in a way that transcends the aforementioned genetic gifts.  Or only adds to ‘em.

      The others?  Mr. Craig looks craggy, and that Slavic janitor crack from SerenityNow02 is right on the money.  Mr. Damon appears to be trying to be down in the ‘hood.  Mox nix to me.

      All the best,

      NDC

    • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=1046681022 Paula Berman

      I instantly fantasized that Damon and Clooney were a couple based on this picture.  Or that some sort of man sandwich was going to happen soon. Sorry. Couldn’t help myself.

    • http://CallMeJane.com/ CallMeJane

      I’m just wondering why Ms. Liebovitz didn’t take this opportunity to drench them all with water a la Charlize and Meryl.  Any one of these guys in a wet t-shirt could do untold wonders. . .  I’m going to go take a few minutes to think about that now. 

    • Anonymous

      Short, short and short. But I’ll always have a special place in my heart ( and a few other warm places on my body) for George.

    • Anonymous

      Damon.  Yum.

    • Anonymous

      You say true about Matt Damon–in recent years every photo has given him a square head reminiscent of Frankenstein’s monster. Honestly I don’t see the charm of Daniel Craig, never have. But George, oh George! And I  love the iron hair.

    • http://heartprintandstyle.blogspot.com Vivi N

      Matt Damon is everything to me. *swoons*

    • Anonymous

      Oh my goodness!  George is well hot damn.  Hot is hot.  Matt doesn’t look bad either but I’m of the thought.. don’t cover up what you don’t have (hair).  We all know it.. just either flaunt what you have or go bald like Vin Diesel.   Daniel Craig just looks tame compared to those two.  Slavic janitor-yes.

    • http://twitter.com/TigerLaverada TigerLaverada

      George Clooney owns handsome. Damn! 

    • Anonymous

      of course, clooney in a suit…drool
      is it just me or does matt look a little like a punk here?

    • Anonymous

      I kinda want James Bond meets Jason Bourne, now.

    • http://needtherapy.tumblr.com skadi1

      I’m sure Daniel Craig’s penis IS a treasure.

      Matt Damon is smoking…he should dress down all the time.

      I’m not a Clooney girl, but I like that he likes his dog.

    • Anonymous

      I’d pay to see Daniel Craig’s penis at a museum

    • http://twitter.com/DarthJaeda Jaeda Laurez

      I’m so glad Matt discovered Bowflex again…he was looking like my 5th grade gym teacher, but now he’s giving soap opera dockworker teas! I’d smash.

      Clooney is doing his Clooney thing, which is not exciting, but is perfectly worn, much like his suits. Daniel is being well-dressed Everydude, and I likes. 

    • Anonymous

      These are who they find the most interesting?  Wouldn’t have been my choices…..

    • Anonymous

      yawn – as a photo

    • allisankelly

      Here’s the thing. George, who I have crushed on since that horrible ER sitcom, is strangely starting to resemble my grandfather at the same age (except he was balding) and Matt looks like a fool in that hat. Therefore, Daniel is my hottie by default.

    • margaret meyers

      Daniel Craig does nothing for me.  He’s the missing elf off the Rice Krispies box, the one in the Dickies and watch cap.

    • Anonymous

      George doesn’t have any left, Matt never did have any, and Daniel is trying too hard.

    • Anonymous

      Add Fassbender to this mix and you’ve got my favorite four-course meal.

    • Anonymous

      Sigh. George. This generation’s Cary Grant and Gregory Peck rolled into one handsome, talented, funny and serious guy, with a hint of my dad for good measure. He’s aging well, like a fine wine.

      Matt. Reminds me of Mark Wahlberg here, which is not a bad thing.

      Daniel. Sean Connery is my Bond, but I’m curious to see him in Dragon Tattoo, even though I enjoyed the Swedish version.

    • Sara__B

      Matt can’t compete because he’s not dressed as well. He looks as if he wandered in from a different photo shoot.

    • Anonymous

      Craig and Clooney bore me. Matt Damon is interesting.

    • Anonymous

      100% agree on Damon. Girlfriend is bringing it in that shot. Clooney looks OLD. When did that happen? 

    • elzatelzabelz

      Me likey!

    • Anonymous

      I think I’ll just cut out George and put myself in the middle, don’t mind me… :)

    • Anonymous

      I have a tingly feeling down under…

      I’m pretty sure it’s not crabs

    • Kwei-lin Lum

      They are all good looking, accomplished middle aged men in their prime.  Yes, of course they’re attractive.  They are old enough to be appealing, each in their own way, to both young and not so young women.  Matt Damon is 41, Daniel Craig is 43, and George Clooney is 50.  Can’t help thinking that female actresses are rarely held up as sex symbols at those ages.  Can’t help it–women’s issues were a big deal when I was young.  But much better situation than 20-plus years ago, I must admit.

    • Lexie

      LOVE Matt’s outfit, so adorable, but George takes the cake. I’ll probably still want to bang him in twenty years. He’s like a bottle of scotch.

    • http://pulse.yahoo.com/_3AJ237ND3GAHDQJZ4TLCO4WLRA Emily

      Damon’s looking good.

    • Anonymous

      Meh.

      My pants did. not. move. at. all.

      • Anonymous

        I’m glad to hear that because nothing moved an iota for me either.

    • Anonymous

      that there is a picture of my happy place…

    • Anonymous

      Man, Matt Damon has gotten hotter and hotter. I’ve always liked him – his work as well as his appearances on David Letterman – but lately…HOT!!!! Also, the other two aren’t bad either.

    • Anonymous

      Clooney for the win.
      “in our bed, making our children, and in the hospital watching them being born.” I dunno, but this comment kinds squicks me out.

    • Anonymous

      george clooney looks like my dad so I dont think he’s attractive for obvious reasons

    • Anonymous

      LOVE LOVE LOVE Matt Damon. And he has manners – opened and held the door for me at Starbuck’s once. 
      Damon for the win!

    • Anonymous

      Yummy.

    • Anonymous

      I’ve always been contentedly bored by Clooney–didn’t care, didn’t mind–but I saw The Descendents, and all the Oscar buzz around it has me so mystified that he’s starting to piss me off. He was perfectly okay in it, but what is this Best Actor nonsense? And I do not get the “omg sex god” thing at all. Maybe I’m too young and I missed his sexpot days? Normally I have no problem drooling over a silver fox/older man, but.

      Anyway, I find myself thinking “UGH, IS CLOONEY OVER YET?” which is really stupid, because he won’t be over for at least another couple decades. Hopefully I get over it fairly soon, it’s tiring.

      PS Agree that Damon looks very very tasty here.

    • Anonymous

      Thanks for the heads-up on this one.  I gave up on VF a while ago — the usual suspects lather rinse repeat.  Let’s hope the remaining photos are less dreary than this cover.  Now if they got Firth, Bardem, McAvoy, McGregor, and Bill Nighy together in a few shots and kept Annie L. away from the set I would plunk the money down and probably frame it.  With a luxury dash of Peter O’Toole in his glorious, ruined but always beautiful old age.

      • Anonymous

        Love the Bill Nighy idea. 

        • Anonymous

          Nighy can wear a suit like no one else.  I would so love to see him photographed by someone stellar in some of the great suits and outfits he wore in “Pirate Radio” or “Gideon’s Daughter”.  I adore than man–give me unusual and interesting over pretty boy bland any day of the week.

    • Anonymous

      So. Damn. Hot.

    • Anonymous

      So. Damn. Hot.

    • http://asskickingadviser.com/ Ass Kicking Adviser

      Oh my god, I might actually have to buy Vanity Fair.

    • Anonymous

      I’m not finding this cover hot at all. Do I need a libido transplant? Damon is the closest to being sexy to me. They all seem like incredibly cool guys, though.

    • Anonymous

      Thank you.

    • Tamara Hogan

      Who’s up for a rousing game of Fuck/Marry/Kill?

      Mine? Tough call, but Clooney/Damon/Craig.

      • Anonymous

        Yep.

    • http://profiles.google.com/laura.jane.ogorman Laura O’Gorman

      Oh I would just like to invite all those men to tea. That would be a good time methinks.

    • Cathy S

      This is nice, but I prefer the cover of this week’s Entertainment Weekly, with George Clooney and Viola Davis: http://popwatch.ew.com/2012/01/05/viola-davis-george-clooney-oscars/

    • Anonymous

      It’s like someone is doing a re-hottening of Matt Damon campaign.  This is at least the 2nd hot pic I’ve seen lately, hooray!

    • Anonymous

      I love it that men my age (Clooney & Craig) are considered hot!

    • Anonymous

      Damon HOT? Blech.

    • http://www.facebook.com/Hutchlover Amye Sabin

      Is it me, or am I seeing a bit of Jimmy Stewart in Clooney?  Seriously.  I think he looks a bit like a very muscular Jimmy Stewart.

      Anyone?  Anyone?  Bueller? It’s the neurontin?  Okay.

      • Anonymous

        when i was on neurontin i thought i was ozzie osborne, shuffling around the house in a state of near-comatose confusion.  

    • Anonymous

      FMK: Daniel, Clooney, Damon. The End. oh and forget the M and K. ;)

    • http://profiles.google.com/phyllis.craine Phyllis Craine

      George Clooney is not ageing well and I want to know why

    • http://twitter.com/yankeefoxtrot Alex McGeagh

      Nice to see my future ex-husband Daniel Craig is in as fine form as ever! 

      Gorgeous cover. So much hotness in one place.

    • Anonymous

      matt may say his finest moments are in bed, but i’d say “not with that hat on your head”.  unless it’s snowing, there’s no excuse.  those things are an abomination.

    • Anonymous

      i just don’t feel a thing for daniel.  those ears are a total buzz kill, as well as the thin lips.  reminds me of prince charles, yuck.

    • Wanda Lodge-vaughan

      I want your hugh dick to knock up my pussy

    • Wanda Lodge-vaughan

      Daniel Craig I’m talking to you!