Chloe Sevigny for Interview Magazine

Posted on January 12, 2012

Fashion performance artist (and possible MPD sufferer) Chloe Sevigny works her special brand of magic once again in a salute to the world’s sex workers in the February 2012 issue of Interview magazine. Let’s meet the alters, shall we?

Zhanya, Kiev, 29 years old. Specializes in girl-on-girl and mild BDSM. Hopes to open her own daycare center someday.

Tess, New York, 30 years old. Specializes in celebrity impersonations and fellatio. Has a Master’s in Economic Theory. Bipolar.


Britt, London, 34 years old. Specializes in CBT and adult baby roleplaying. Putting her 3 kids through private school. Getting a certificate in cake decorating.

Pilar, Buenos Aires, 24 years old. Specializes in bondage and light asphyxiation. Knitter.


Joanne, Los Angeles, 38 years old. Specializes in roleplaying sultry latinas for studio executives, even though her parents were Norwegian. World champion kickboxer. Has over $700,000 in savings.

Dimetria, Athens, 27 years old. Specializes in massage for female clients only. Breeds ferrets. Has a slight lisp.


Photographed by Craig McDean and styled by Karl Templer.

[Image Credit: Melancholybaby via the]

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  • Cortney Dean

    I. die. You two are too damned funny. I almost lost my coffee when I found out Pilar was a knitter.

    • Anonymous

      I, too, spat up a bit on my keyboard.

      • Sarah Tyrchniewicz

        LOL me too!

      • Anonymous

        Venti Iced Coffee EVERYWHERE!

      • Jennifer Peters-Ahnberg

        I learned long ago to read TLo AFTER my coffee. It took me two keyboards.

    • Anonymous

      fortunately, I was not drinking anything…

    • Oze R.

      Same here. I’m a knitter, and I have Argentinian friends who are knitters, bwahaha!

    • Anonymous

      Best.  Comment.  Ever.  Or at least so far this year! 

  • Anonymous

    Breeds ferrets!

  • oohsparkley!

    Snort! Have you guys been reading the Personal ads?  She has not only MPD but she multi-culteral too! Bless.

  • Anonymous

    Adult baby role play. Wheeze. I bow down to your vast knowledge of kink.

    • Anonymous

      I know what you mean. I’m casting around trying to figure out CBT. Unless they mean cognitive behavioral therapy. . . 

      • Anonymous

        Google (on PRIVATE browsing, thank you very much) tells me that CBT = Cock and Ball Torture.

        I wasn’t really interested in exploring that one any further.

        • Anonymous

          Oh, my. Lalalalalala.

          • Anonymous

            Yeah, I know. Sorry about that. I have a severe case of the icks now.

          • Anonymous

            Thank you for Googling it.  I was afraid to.

        • Denise Alden

          Thanks for doing the dirty work and explaining CBT!

        • vmcdanie

          Thanks for taking the hit for all of us.

          Do not wish to see those image files.

        • Anonymous


        • leilah

          Thanks for that (I think) — I was with BBomber, thinking it was “cognitive behavioral therapy”…..

      • Kiltdntiltd

        Hints: the last word is “torture” and it relates to something done to men.   The rest, you’re on your own about.

        • Anonymous

          I’d click “like” but I don’t think I’d like! (If I had the equipment, that is.)

      • Anonymous

        She probably does that as well.

      • foodycat

        I assumed cognitive behavioural therapy, thinking it was a fun juxtaposition with adult baby role play. And now I am squicked out.

    • Mercy

      Hahaha.  Indeed, very impressed by your knowledge of kink and the world of dominatrices/dominatrixes!  Bravo, Tlo!

    • Anonymous

      Please, Philly’s kink culture grows more every day thanks to Kali.  (oops)

  • Chason Dailey

    Joanne clearly takes sartorial cues from Tim Curry.

    • Anonymous

      I was thinking Joanne looks like the child of Tim Curry and Nancy Spungen.

      • Kiltdntiltd

        I will be seeing that behind my eyelids all day!

    • foodycat

      Yes! Totally Frankenfurter!

      • Anonymous

        This was my first thought too!

      • Anonymous

        Bahahahaaaaaa. Yes!

    • Anonymous

      For I minute I wondered if Joanne was going to be introduced as working to fund her still-transitional transformation from “Joe”

    • Anonymous

      I had the same thought.

  • Anonymous

    This post is NSFW because I can’t stop laughing. Jesus!! 

  • Sobaika Mirza

    OH MY GOD. My coworkers have no idea why I’m positively cackling right now. 

    Thanks TLo! Just what I needed to get through this rainy afternoon.

  • Hetha Innis

    You guys are both brilliant! I love C.S. and hope she sees this, she’d probably love it!

  • Anonymous

    The breadth of your knowledge blows me away.

    Your Chloe posts never disappoint.

  • Scott Hester-Johnson

    More like “Joanne (née Joe), Los Angeles, 38 years old. Notorious “chick with dick” known for luring Hollywood celebrities into scandals.

  • Anonymous

    You owe me a keyboard.  I just spewed my drink on it.  Duuudes!!!

  • Anonymous

    Shit you guys are brilliant! My favorite – Dimetria. “Has a slight lisp.”

  • Anonymous

    Gentlemen, I think these captions demonstrate that you’re ready for a sideline in writing those humor footnotes at The New Yorker.

    A ray of wry sunshine on a gloomy, wet day.

  • Anonymous

    Oh god, you guys are killing me with this one. Being Bay Area born and bred, I have known a few dominatrices and strippers who were working on their masters in philosophy or whatever.

    I will say, Chloe looks really beautiful in the Tess and Britt photos.

  • Kiltdntiltd

    You two are a special category of fabulous.  I hope you know that all the way into the middles of your lovely/bitchy hearts.

    Some of the quotes of la Sevigny are truly gasp worthy. She worries that her position as a fashion icon has affected her career?  (snorting with laughter)

    • Anonymous

      I laughed, too.  This fashion spread is sure to change that.

  • Anonymous


  • Kerry McCombs

    You two are TOO MUCH. Perfection. Can someone give you a writing award this instant???

  • allisankelly

    Thank you very much for the giggles. Greatly needed and appreciated.

  • Anonymous

    I never noticed how much she looks like Gaga.  Similar facial structures when they’re both sans makeup.

    • Anonymous

      Exactly what I was thinking: 3,5, and 7 are uncanny!

  • e

    One of the funniest posts ever :)

  • Kyle Crawford

    Pilar is smokin’ hot!

  • Stephen Bornstein

    You didnt mention theat this noir tarte looks better here than usual…and cleaner. Thnks for the laughs.

  • Anonymous

    Oh my god, amazing! Thanks for that.

  • Anonymous

    I LOVE THIS POST. Chloe Sevigny needs to do a photoshoot every damn week. It’s good for my Bitter Kitten soul.

  • Linda Harris

    that certainly improved my mood. I haven’t laughed so hard in ages. Thanks

  • Anonymous

    I heart these posts almost as much as the Miss Universe parade of costume commentary.  You guys kill. Thanks for the high-brow to low-brow humor everyday.

  • Connie B. Verzak

    Jesus Christ, MY EYES. Interview obviously hates her.

  • aimee_parrott

    *cackles madly* You guys are GENIUS!!!  This whole thing is hilarious, but especially the knitting and the slight lisp.  I die.

    Seriously, though, she worries that her status as a fashion icon has hurt her acting career?  She doesn’t, though, worry that flashing her crotch and ass will hurt it.  *Files away for future reference*

  • Anonymous

    Poor Britt… is she sitting on a fire hydrant???  Don’t they have a…ummmm… rather pointy top to them??  Oh God, I hurt just thinking about it…

  • Dave Fellner

    I think that may be one of the funniest things I’ve read in a month or more! Thanks for the great start to the morning!

  • Sarah Thomas

    This is my favorite thing so far today.

  • Alex McGeagh

    TLo. The commentary. Holy fucksticks. I am ROLLING with laughter. I have no other words….

  • Heron

    Britt’s shoes are FIERCE.  

  • Anonymous

    Getting a certificate in cake decorating.  HIlarious.  I’m a wee bit jealous of Dimetria’s gams, but the tighty whitey crotch shot looks painful.

    • Anonymous

      And gross.

      • Anonymous


  • Madame Suggia

    Too funny.

    The most amusing part is, of course, her “quote” on the 3rd pic…” I’m worried that…some of the choices I’ve made…and because people think of me as this fashion icon…might have affected my film career.”

    Poor deluded lamb, who’s going to be the first to introduce her to the notion that, far from being a ‘fashion icon’ she usually dresses like crap?

  • Anonymous

    I LOVE your comments juxtaposed with the quotes in the editorial. Priceless!

  • Anonymous

    Sidebar:  “I see women in Tompkins Square with their kids and they’re still in their combat boots. I hope when I’m that age I’ll still be representing.”

    As a former Tompkins Square mom (in motorcycle, not combat boots), I have a question: 


    I can’t stand her, but LOVE your blogs about her. She is delusional – a self-made target.

    • Anonymous

      I just googled her — 37. You’re right, but in question to her comment above: representing what?

      • Anonymous

        Maybe counter-culture funk in the East Village? I’m not sure.

    • Anonymous

      LOL, I was just about to say the same thing then saw you’d already posted.  It’s downright bizarre.  And didn’t she have comment last year about “kissing boys”?  What the hell?

      It MUST be an Indy darling thing.  I don’t know if anyone else saw “The Big C” with Laura Linney, but Parker Posey did a turn as a woman, well, her age who acted like a teenage hipster.  Most ridiculous and embarrassing character ever.

  • Julian Betkowski

    So, I’ve always thought Chloe Sevigny had really severe features, but is it just me, or has she developed an air of The Swinton as she’s aged? This seems especially evident in the Pilar and Dimetria shots.

  • ecallaw

    What is BDSM?  I even googled it and it came back with no results–that never happens!

    • Anonymous

      Bondage/discipline   Sado/Masosochism

  • Susan Collier

    Y’all kill me.

  • MilaXX

    I love a Chloe post. Too funny!

  • Anonymous

    love you boys

  • Anonymous


  • Anonymous

    Love it.  Why is she allegedly famous again?…..

  • Anonymous

    Oh, the Chloe posts make my YEAR. Thank you!!

  • Anonymous

    “Even though her parents are Norwegian…”

    I’m going to be giggling for hours.

  • Anonymous

    Oh ha ha ha, whatevs, these pics are AWESOME.

  • Cheri Lee

    I love the androgynous look of Pilar.

  • Anonymous

    I think she’s doing this on purpose, just for the kick of reading what you guys say.  Bravo, guys.

  • margaret meyers

    What a horrible editorial.  It is editorrible.

  • Sandra Oh

    Best laugh I had today.  You two need to write a novel or non-fiction … I’ll buy either or both!

  • Belle Burnett

    You two, too funny!

  • marlie

    I thought Joanne was a dude in drag.

  • Anonymous

    The second i read “CBT” i just knew the comments would be all about “What is CBT?”.  Why must you boys scare the suburban straight women like that?  Some of our mysterious ways should be left just that, mysterious… :)

    • Anonymous

      All it takes is a quick Google search and the power of deduction.  Hmmm, it’s probably not Cognitive Behavioral Therapy….CBT IT Solutions, no, I don’t think that there are any fetishes related to IT Solutions…go down to number five on the search engine list…AHA!  It’s actually quite educational 😉

  • Ramona Boersma

    I hope Chloe reads your site…

  • Anonymous

    I’m glad I took a break from my spreadsheets to come here. You guys never fail to deliver much-needed chuckles.

  • Urban Gypsy aka Tess

    You two know almost as much (or perhaps more) about fetishes than I do and I’m a sex educator! 

    This is why I read you, it’s freaking hilarious and has totally brightened up this gray day. Chloe does give one a wealth of material to work with, bless her heart. The photo of her as Pilar, the Norwegian Latina, is beyond ridiculous and nearly a classic WTF.

    Love that Tess specializes in fellatio (ahem, that’s my name and if I do say so myself, I teach a mean fellatio workshop). LOL

    At the end of it all though, I think I’m impressed at what a damn chameleon Chloe is. I don’t think I’d recognize her in half the photos and that’s a good thing, I think.

  • Denise Alden

    Brilliant, you two!  Although Zhanya looks exactly like Terry Richardson to me.

  • Anonymous

    Knitter.  That’s good.  Very good.  

  • Clydette Wantland


  • Julia Mills

    We knitters are a questionable bunch..

  • Anonymous

    The lisp made me LOL.

  • Anonymous

    Oh my goodness, I seriously need to breathe into a  paper bag. Too much hilarity in one post. 

  • Anonymous

    omg this will keep me laughing the rest of the week. thank you!!!

  • Anonymous


    Please pass that paper bag over here–and hurry!  

  • Christopher

    I think Chloe is in on your joke given these pics.  Hilarious.

  • sweetlilvoice

    Love them all….Joanne looks a bit like Paul Stanley.

    Knitter….cracked me up.

  • Anonymous

    I really like these photos, especially the first and last one.  She really does bring a different personality to every shot.

  • Anonymous

    She’s got to be doing this knowingly, to give y’all fodder, no?

    In any case, words can not describe the joy you bring.

  • TigerLaverada

    TLo, I bow at your feet. Multiple LOLs throughout. You guys are hilarious.

  • Judy_J

    You guys are amazing….truly!  Spot-on for every character.  I stand in awe.

  • Anonymous

    Bwahahaha!!! There is NOTHING I love more than your Chloe posts. NOTHING. xxxooo

  • Anonymous

    Your commentary is the only good thing about her!!  Thank you thank you!!

  • UltimaEsperenza

    Best text ever.  Award yourselves.

  • la_margi

    She would be an AMAZING Marlene Dietrich impersonator. Victor/Victoria style.

  • Anonymous

    She is one scary beotch

  • Anonymous

    HAHAHAHAHA! I love it…

  • Brad and Anne White

    Love her and love this! Thank you TLO!!

  • Anonymous

    The lolworthiness of this post aside (and it was very lolworthy!), I am really surprised by how different she manages to look from picture to picture. I always think of her as being very plain-Jane, but also very distinctive looking. She does all this dramatic shit to her hair and whatnot and she always looks the same to me. Here, definitely not. Who knew?

    That said, this was hilarious.

  • Anonymous

    Pilar and I were just having coffee the other day and she was mentioning her interest in taking up decoupage. Thought you’d like to know.

  • Fifi LaRoux

    Too funny! Love it!

  • Anonymous

    Pilar the knitter. Slow. Clap.

  •!/Space_Kitty Space Kitty

    Congrats, gentlemen.  You have succeeded where everyone else has failed:

    I now eagerly anticipate Chloe Sevigny’s next move.

  • RzYoung

    These are hilarious, I would love it if they just published those descriptions in Interview and just didn’t bother with the interview!

  • Anonymous

    Classic classic classic snark … Each one a precious precious gem of scathing funny.

  • Nancy Marion

    Dimetria is bringing some Jerri Blank realness!

  • Lizzie

    I love this post so hard.

  • Summer Born

    This is so awesome.

  • Anonymous

    i LOVE this editorial.

  • Anonymous

    i’d like to book a massage with dimitria…

  • Anonymous

    “Tess” is looking like Macaulay Culkin

  • Michelle Lucas


  • Michelle Lucas

    I live! For TLO, I. JUST. LIVE.