24-Hour Catwalk

Posted on January 12, 2012

Oh, let’s just get to this.

We haven’t been putting recapping this show off because we don’t like it. On the contrary; it’s like the cheese puffs of reality television competitions. You know they’re awful, have no nutritional value, and don’t even come close to tasting like actual cheese, but you just can’t stop shoving them in your mouth. It’s Ghetto Project Runway; a true fashion game show, like The Price is Right with dresses, and we’re kind of fine with that.

James LaForce drops these quietly bitchy comments but makes them sound polite, a skill to which we bow down. Cynthia is always fun on camera because she’s clearly high as a kite. Derek is a little bit of a blowhard. Alexa is trying too hard.

Actually, all things considered, Alexa isn’t that bad. She states every sentence like a hammer coming down on a nail, but she’s surprisingly loose and fun with the designers, which is something Heidi never really mastered.

But let’s face it: the star of the show is JustRaymona. We want her to get her own show called It’s Just JustRaymona! where she takes on sewing jobs and then spends the whole time telling the designer what an idiot he or she is. We also liked the squeaky-voiced British lady and of course, the gal with the dead thing on her head. You don’t get quality reality television characters like these on Project Runway, now do you?

The format is utterly ridiculous: it’s Chopped with scissors, basically. But we don’t approach this show the way we have other fashion design competitions. It’s totally quick n’ dirty fashion, which means we don’t have much of an investment in the outcome because it’ll be entirely different people every week. But that’s fine, because with each episode, you really have no idea what’s going to happen or what the clothes are going to look like, unlike PR, which gets very predictable after about 5 episodes into a season.

So, everyone had to make a “soccer mom” outfit out of a sports jersey. It should be noted that for the quickfire challenge, or whatever it is they call it, the outfits don’t have to be finished perfectly or even fully sewn, which is a decent twist, because it prevents every critique from becoming about execution.

 

Omar

It’s all right. Considering how little time they had, it was a decent re-imagining and, unlike everything else offered, it actually looked like it could be a decent, wearable garment if executed perfectly.

Tony

This annoying dude got so much airtime we were sure he was the winner of the episode. How nice that the judges saw right through his bullshit and sent him packing.

Tess

 We thought it was a little silly how the judges went rapturous over this ridiculous garment, but we have to say we agreed with their basic point, which was that she did something really imaginative and she completed several garments in a short period of time.

Elene

Forget it, girl. Go home.

Tess and Omar get to stay and make a collection in 24 hours, each with a team of 3 sewers (including future superstar, JustRaymona). Omar immediately has a meltdown that lasts the entire 24 hours and Tess goes slowly from cocky and confident to her own little meltdown when she realizes she has no idea what she’s doing. JustRaymona shakes her head and rolls her eyes at everyone.

Oh, and the challenge was to do a “Glamping” collection, using Swarovski elements. We’re pretty sure you can expect these weirdly specific and unrealistic challenges on all the shows going forward.

 

Tess’ Collection

Jeez, for all the sturm and drang over this dress in particular, it sure is a big ol’ nothing, isn’t it?

The shorts were cute, but we really hate pairing them with that heavy-looking top in that ugly mauve-y color.

The jacket’s nice, but it looks like it came from another collection; one for women old enough and smart enough to know that anything called “glamping” is something they know to avoid.

 

Omar’s Collection

MEGA-TACKY.

Slightly tacky, but had some good points.

 

Tacky.

And thus, Tess wins by default. Congrats! Here’s your money and there’s the door, we’ve got another set of designers coming in here in ten minutes. Move ’em out, people!

[Photo/Video Credit: myLifetime.com]

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