W.E. Premiere Crazy Ladies

Posted on December 06, 2011

Celebrities celebrate the season by borrowing clothes and getting their pictures taken, which means the world of red carpet commentary fairly exploded with subject matter over the last 48 hours. In other words, we’ve got a TON of RC looks to rip apart today. First up, three ladies at The Cinema Society & Piaget screening of “W.E.” at The Museum of Modern Art in New York City. No time for niceties here; it’s all drive-by bitchery today.

 

Parker Posey

It’s truly a rarity to come upon a red carpet look in which every single element of it is ugly as sin. Parker, we love you, but you look like a mental patient.

Chloe Sevigny

YES! The world’s premiere red carpet performance artist is BACK! Tonight, Chloe is Anneliese, a former East German gymnast now working as a Soviet spy. She can crush a man with her thighs and she wears work boots with EVERYTHING!

Madonna

What the frick is this shittery?!? Has it truly come to this, Madge? YOU ARE MADONNA AND YOU SHOULD NOT BE SEEN IN PUBLIC LOOKING LIKE AN ASSISTANT MANAGER AT A HAIR CUTTERY.

Oh, these are dark days, kittens. Dark days indeed.

[Photo Credit: Getty]

    • scottyf

      That’s not Madonna. That’s Franziska: Anneliese’s former trainer, and now her KGB contact and part-time lover. She has followed Anneliese to this event disguised in last season’s Hot Topic clothing  to give her her next assignment.

      • Anonymous

        And Parker is a former Soviet spy who defected to the West.  Anneliese and Franziska got to her and have been brainwashing her back into the fold.  Her identity broken down and her grip on reality shaky, she has started identifying with her captors, as seen by her wearing the exact same colors as Anneliese….

      • aimee_parrott

        Scotty, if they DO have naturally curly hair they probably keep it pulled back in a tight updo so it’s not in their way.  Especially if they’re married to Pigpen, because curly hair collects dust, don’cha know?

    • Anonymous

      Is Madonna wearing a necklace with her movie’s title on it, minus the periods that would make it read “double-u ee” rather than “we”? Sorry, but I can’t sign off on that. And the less said about her pose, which reminds me of a teenager practicing her Madonna look at home in her bedroom, the better.

      • Anonymous

        I think she’s 2 seconds away from a Charlie’s Angels finger gun move.

    • http://twitter.com/kathyvr Kathy Van Ryzin

      What the HELL is on Parker Posey’s feet?!?!?!

      • Anonymous

        I THINK they’re those paw shaped shoes? I hope they are, because I’m going to have nightmares if more than one designer thought “toe” shaped heels were a good idea.

        • http://profiles.google.com/j.allen27 Jennifer Allen

          No, they’re not! Those paw-shaped ones are Loubies, and these are a Vivienne Westwood (heinous) trademark shoe!

      • http://www.GiftedCollector.com Nancy Abrams

        Parker Posey is dressed exactly how you would expect someone named Parker Posey to be dressed.

    • Anonymous

      I actually liked Madonna’s look. Definitely not for a Red Carpet event, but it’s more age appropriate than a lot of what she’s been wearing lately.

      • Anonymous

        I don’t mind it either, but why is she standing like that?

      • Cathy S

        Agreed. She looks especially good next to Parker and Chloe. She’s practically age-appropriate.

      • http://twitter.com/NC_Meg Megan

        Ditto. And compared to the other two, she looks great.

      • BuffaloBarbara

        Yeah, it looked kind of old-school Madonna.  But not for a red carpet for her own movie.  At least she doesn’t look completely bonkers.

    • Anonymous

      It’s graduation day at the High School of Fashion Industries circa 1989! Aren’t they creative? Aren’t they talented?

    • Anonymous

      Yikes – what happened ladies? 

      Also – are those FEET on Parker Posey’s feet?!?  Can’t unsee… help!

    • http://twitter.com/ILikeShiny Cindi Williams

      I’m having a rare work-in-your-bathrobe day, and I still look better than Parker Posey. What. The. Fuck.

    • Anonymous

      Guys, i would say that Parker Posey’s outfit is an insult to mental patients everywhere…..

    • Anonymous

      Holy nightmares, Batman!  Such eye-popping awfulness, and it’s only the first TLo of the day.  Chloe and Parker clearly violated the “never get dressed when in the throes of PMS without being vetted by a sane friend” law, which is SACRED.  No other explanation for those symphonies of red.  Madonna does not have even that excuse.  A lot of scroll down gasps are coming at us.

    • Anonymous

      And one time I saw this kid at the pool who had some how put both legs through the same hole in the swimsuit and got the lining all twisted around too. It looked exactly like the get up that Chloe Sevigny has on. Maybe the kid looked a little bit better because her super hero cape was a towel.

    • P M

      But! but! TLo, aren’t you glad *someone* is trying to bring crazy back to the RT? Otherwise, what will minions and kittens do? (Gasp) work?!

      • http://twitter.com/ILikeShiny Cindi Williams

        Yeah, but these ladies brought crazy back to the red carpet with his friends “fugly” and “eyesore”.

        • P M

          yeah yeah yeah :). Keeps the bitchy reflexes sharp, though :D.

    • Nora Mulllin

      What does Parker Posey have on her feet? Do her shoes have toes? 

      • Anonymous

        I know. It’s creepy.

    • Anonymous

      In my head I see this scenario:  Other, well dressed women pulling up to the red carpet, seeing these three and screaming to the driver, “KEEP GOING! MOVE! MOVE! I’m not being seen here tonight.”

    • Anonymous

      Yay! love Crazy TIme — Madge honey, I really wish you had put on the rabbit ears that you found so adorable a few seasons ago…

    • Anonymous

      Gross X 3. 

    • Anonymous

      At least Madonna’s face is settling and she looks less like Faye Dunaway these days. But that pose is so middle school Voguing, it’s pathetic.

      I have NOT missed Chloe Sevigny.

    • Anonymous

      Foul!!  What is happening this morning?

    • Anonymous

      I am stunned. How did Parker Posey put this shit on and walk out of the house. Her feet look like Mufasa wearing what we used to call rubbers when it rained. I am exactly Madonna’s age and all I see is desperation in her everything.

    • Anonymous

      I can’t stop laughing at your comments about Chloe Sevigny!  Hilarity!

      God only knows what kind of wicked spells were cast upon these three, forcing them to dress like this and go out in public, but it’s clear that all three fucked with the wrong witch recently.  I love Parker Posey–and she loves fashion so much that she was the guest judge for the final judging on PR Season One.  Nothing but black magic can explain this look.  Chloe has lost her mind.  Clearly.  Please lock her up and do not let her appear in public again.  And this is the first photo of Madonna I’ve seen in which you can see her actual age in her face.  Too bad she decided to do the body in teenager clothing and a stupid pose.

      So many awards, premieres, RCs.  Don’t these people have Christmas shopping and decorating to do?????

      • Anonymous

        No, no, they have people for that.  Their only job is to dress up in free ugly clothes (and boy howdy, are these ugly!) and get looked at.  You don’t think celebrities actually work, do you? 

    • Anonymous

      Is Madonna wearing stockings with open toe shoes?

    • http://www.facebook.com/charlotte.horseman Charlotte Horseman

      Ugh.. horrible.  I don’t think these are accidents or missteps.  Every one of them are clearly bored with the opportunity to look amazing in free clothes and have decided to go out looking like sh%t on purpose. 

    • Anonymous

      Why, for love of baked goods, would Madonna pose like that?  Does she not realize she looks desperate, and (at the same time) like a 13 year old in front of a mirror??

    • Anonymous

      TBF, it is the MoMA, absolutely nothing in there makes sense.

    • Aaron Blair

      I think maybe Chloe’s costume is supposed to be the one that Milla Jovovich wore in the first Resident Evil movie. 

    • http://www.facebook.com/people/Jessica-TallGirl-Freeman/1043623567 Jessica TallGirl Freeman

      Why is Madonna posing like a teenager posing for a her new facebook profile pic?  Chloe, is well. Chloe.  She’s just bat shit crazy when it comes to picking out clothes….apparently Parker heard she would be coming and tried to one-up her.  Are they not in almost the same color?  I’m giving Parker the win here.  Since her shoes have toes and all.

    • Stefanos Mantyla

      I thought that thumbnail photo was that of Chloë Moretz!

      Wow this is bad.

    • foodycat

      I think Zooey Deschanel needs to take care at this point in her career, because she is about 3 years away from wearing Parker Posey’s outfit, and no one wants that to happen to this year’s quirky girl.

    • BuffaloBarbara

      Holy crap, I missed Parker Posey’s shoes until I read the comments.  What the….?

      Whatever will Chloe show up as next?

      Maybe Madonna was posing ironically?  That’s all I can think of.  The outfit is sort of cute, if not worthy of her own movie’s premiere.

    • Ozski

      GOOD: Parker’s hair and the cuffs are kind of cute. Chloe actually does have the figure for that shift. Madonna’s hair is exquisite.
      BAD: EVERY BLOODY THING ELSE. Also, is Madonna turning into Jerry Hall? And is that a TASSLE on Parker’s dress? WTF??!

    • Anonymous

      Nice to see that it was a Chico’s kind of night for Madonna. I guess she’s finally embraced her age!

    • http://profiles.google.com/sara.e.munoz Sara Munoz

      Madonna looks great. But this is the premiere of her movie, so it is a bit confusing. And the pose. WTF indeed. Had to be drunk.

    • muzan-e

      Sheer black stockings with peep-toes and crops!

      Sheer black stockings with peep-toes and cr –

      I can’t even. What. I don’t understand.

    • Anonymous

      Looks like Parker was trying to cover up an allergy or something. I see blotchiness in the patch of cleavage she showed us.  Otherwise I cannot explain the look. 

      I am soooo bored with Chloe Sevigny. Get over it, girl, you aren’t one to bring the crazy and make it work. 

      Madge’s eye sockets must be a makeup artist dream there is so many sq inches to cover. Other than that, blah.

    • Anonymous

      God help me, I almost like Parker Posey’s ensemble. If only she were wearing the Louboutins cat feet instead of whatever the fuck latex monstrosities she’s got on. I think that would tip the crazy scales in her favor. CALL ME PARKER I HAVE IDEAS.

    • Anonymous

      Madonna. Ugh. The worst part isn’t even the clothes, it’s the ridiculous posing.
      There was a time this bitch wouldn’t be caught dead posing like that. Look back at old pics of the real Madonna. When she posed for pictures, she was either rebellious or drop dead sexy or both. None of this popped hip, this is me trying hard to look fierce shit.
      Honestly girl. What happened?

    • Anonymous

      Poor Madonna: It’s just sad to see how she’s gone from Fashionista to Maxxinista.

      –GothamTomato

    • Anonymous

      hahaha.  WTH is with Madonna’s pose?  was she drunk?

    • Anonymous

      Do Parker Posey’s shoes have…..knuckles? WTF?

    • Anonymous

      “Strange days, indeed. Most peculiar mama!”

      What the hell is that tassel hanging in the front of Posey’s dress?

      Chloe erred in matching her hair to her skin and her lips. Freaky.

      Oh Madge, it looks like you borrowed a few things from my closet (top and jacket), and that’s something that should never happen.

      • Anonymous

        I think the tassels are on the ends of the {shudder} belt, which is almost impossible to see since it’s in the same fabric as the {shudder} dress.

    • Anonymous

      I can’t stop laughing. 

      Thanks to TLo and everyone else for the morning brightener

      I “like” you all !

    • Anonymous

      Really, Parker?  The clown suit?

    • Anonymous

      Can’t believe Madonna’s outfit at her own premiere at MOMA. Kinda feels like she’s trying to invoke the ’80s in a Jean Paul Gauthier way.

    • Anonymous

      I think Chloe looks amazing.  Sorry…no I’m not.  She looks like Chloe.  Love her or hate her.

    • Anonymous

      Thanks again for my morning spitly laugh out loud moment. Is Chloe partnering with a medical supply company? I ask because that “dress” seems much better suited for the annual fashionista OB-GYN exam. As Peach would say, I can see her fine china from here!

    • Anonymous

      This makes me want to drink cheap wine and cry for the idols of my lost youth. WTF on the shoes, Parker? 

    • Anonymous

      CHLOE! CHLOE! CHLOE! On her it looks good.

    • Anonymous

      What the F*** were Parker and Anneliese thinking?  Crazy indeed!

    • MilaXX

      Parker Posey looks like she is trying to out Zooey, Zooey Descne-howeveryouspellit
      Chloe is still Chloe
      Mags looks bad. She went that one step too face & messed up her face and she’s posing like Chloe Moratz, definitely not a good look.

    • Anonymous

      Parker Posey… I have no words. The dress is bad but paired with those tights & shoes! Chloe Sevigny looks crazy as usual.
      Is it me or Madonna’s face keeps getting… wider?

    • Anonymous

      Is Parker Posey wearing Vibram Five Fingers (or shoes modeled after them) on the RC?  WTFF???  Don’t get me wrong, I love VFFs, but I wear them IN THE GYM.

      • Anonymous

        I don’t think so. I just checked back and I can see that she has a raised heel. But it sure does look like someone drew her toes on the top of the shoes. Geez, talk about ugly RC looks.

        • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=1326120071 Gaby Ripoll

          They look like a pair of McQueen shoes that were in the Met’s show last year, but those were nude, not red (which made them more uncanny art piece than just fugly wtf.)

    • Anonymous

      Ack! The patients are in charge of the asylum!

    • aimee_parrott

      Correction: Parker Posey looks like an ESCAPED mental patient.  Nobody undergoing treatment would wear that.  That is the ensemble of someone who needs treatment but isn’t getting it.

      Madonna looks desperate and sad.  What is with that pose?  I might condone a pose like that from her teenage daughter, but not from Madge. 

    • Anonymous

      it’s funny how what bothered me the most about Madonna was the pose, and not so much the clothes… very very sad…. 

    • http://twitter.com/sockandaphone Gaby

      “it’s all drive-by bitchery today.” and my heart swelled at the impending joy of this post.

    • Scott Hester-Johnson

      Chloe + TLo = MAGIC.

    • Anonymous

      BWAAAAA hahahahahaha!!  I thought I was done laughing for the day but this is fab, thanks, guys!

    • http://twitter.com/RobertSanchez36 Robert Sanchez

      A bagful of crazy. Poor Parker, I adore her, but she looks ridiculous. And Madonna continues to make me laugh with her increasing attempts to appear 29. It’s going to be hysterical comedy over the next couple of decades as she ages and continues trying to look youthful.

    • http://cheekypinky.wordpress.com/ Rebecca

      MY EYES.

    • http://cheekypinky.wordpress.com/ Rebecca

      And…do Parker’s shoes have molded toes on them? *shudder*

    • Anonymous

      Parker Posey reminds of a an essay by Cynthia Heimel entitled “PMS and Outfits”.  (Apologies in advance for the length of the excerpt, but it’s so spot on).
      “Once while in the throes of PMS I had to go to a crucial meeting that would determine my entire future.  I had to look great.
      I surveyed the contents of my closet and burst into tears.
      ‘I have nothing to wear!’ I wailed. “Everything I own is too boring, boring, boring!’
      Then I ransacked my drawers until I came upon this utterly charming, tomato-red sweater shoved behind some old bathing suits.
      ‘Why you cute thing,’ I said to the sweater.  ‘I wonder why I buries you.’  Then looking behind some boxes in a closet, I happened upon a magenta skirt.
      ‘What a chic idea,’ I decided.
      I went through my tights and in a trice found a lovely burgundy-hued pair.  A cerise jacket and scarlet shoes completed my ensemble.
      ‘I am a symphony of reds,’ I sang as I left the house.’
      Luckily a security guard stopped me on my way into the meeting.
      ‘You’re kidding about the outfit, right?’ he asked.
      ‘Out of my way little man,’ I commanded.  ‘You just don’t understand the innovations of style.’
      ‘I understand that you look just like my wife does right before she gets her period,’ he said. ‘Joe, my wife says, you ever catch me trying to leave the house like this, lock me in a closet.’”
      Would that a Joe had been around for Parker

    • Anonymous

      Parker Posey reminds of a an essay by Cynthia Heimel entitled “PMS and Outfits”.  (Apologies in advance for the length of the excerpt, but it’s so spot on).
      “Once while in the throes of PMS I had to go to a crucial meeting that would determine my entire future.  I had to look great.
      I surveyed the contents of my closet and burst into tears.
      ‘I have nothing to wear!’ I wailed. “Everything I own is too boring, boring, boring!’
      Then I ransacked my drawers until I came upon this utterly charming, tomato-red sweater shoved behind some old bathing suits.
      ‘Why you cute thing,’ I said to the sweater.  ‘I wonder why I buries you.’  Then looking behind some boxes in a closet, I happened upon a magenta skirt.
      ‘What a chic idea,’ I decided.
      I went through my tights and in a trice found a lovely burgundy-hued pair.  A cerise jacket and scarlet shoes completed my ensemble.
      ‘I am a symphony of reds,’ I sang as I left the house.’
      Luckily a security guard stopped me on my way into the meeting.
      ‘You’re kidding about the outfit, right?’ he asked.
      ‘Out of my way little man,’ I commanded.  ‘You just don’t understand the innovations of style.’
      ‘I understand that you look just like my wife does right before she gets her period,’ he said. ‘Joe, my wife says, you ever catch me trying to leave the house like this, lock me in a closet.’”
      Would that a Joe had been around for Parker

    • http://www.facebook.com/people/Karen-Stephens-Bassett/1503492602 Karen Stephens Bassett

      Madonna could open a line titled “Outfits for Skanks”.  Every one of these would qualify.

    • http://twitter.com/yankeefoxtrot Alex McGeagh

      It must be a sign of my impending insanity that I didn’t find Madonna’s look offensive.

      OTOH, looks like Madge’s face has settled ;)

    • Anonymous

      The Madonna pose is hilarious … She looks like little Gia from Real Hausfrau of NJ.

    • Anonymous

      MY EYES. (also)
      I’ve always wanted to bitch-slap Chloe Sevigny. Now I want to bitch-slap Parker Posey, and I used to kind of like her.

    • Anonymous

      What is with Madonna’s pose?  Perhaps she’s having some fun with the camera?

    • Anonymous

      I am pretty sure that Chloe Sevigny is actually in costume as Alice from Resident Evil.

      • Anonymous

        I had the exact same thought

    • Anonymous

      I’m trying for more bitchery than is provided in the post and previous comments but I cannot improve on the bitchery already presented.  Bless you all for your cruel remarks.  Some clothes deserve to be mocked mercilessly until they run back to a closet and are never seen again.

    • http://twitter.com/capt_shiny Mags

      Wow, Chloe Sevigny’s dress is so short I can see her uterus from here.

    • http://twitter.com/KalisaHyman Kalisa Hyman

      I think I can see Chloe’s privates. 

    • http://pulse.yahoo.com/_MBZQXGWCTBDTAZMEM4S2EJUNUQ Katie

      I love these posts because I sometimes get the feeling that very thin people can just wear anything and it will look okay and then I see posts like this and I realize how very wrong that idea is.

    • http://twitter.com/MandySCG MandyJane

      That’s a whole lotta WTF?!

    • http://tinyglimpses.blogspot.com Meg P. W.

      At least Parker’s makeup is pretty? :S

    • Anonymous

      Parker Posey (I always want to call her Posey Parker) there really are no words. Almost speechless. And just what in God’s name is on your feet. Freaking me out man.

      …”Chloe is Anneliese, a former East German gymnast”…God I love you guys.

    • http://profiles.google.com/ameliaheartsu Amelia Logan

      When I saw Chloe I involuntarily said “Oh god…” out loud.

    • http://twitter.com/#!/Space_Kitty Space Kitty

      Chloe’s haircut is the reason I have to hide the scissors every month. Unfortunately, that probably explains her hemline too.

    • Anonymous

      the real question is WHY IS THIS HORRIBLE TRAVESTY OPENING AT THE MUSEUM OF MODERN ART? those are dark polluted words from the darkest of polluted cultural days.

    • http://profiles.google.com/dorothymichael Dorothy & Michael n/a

      I’m sort of hoping Parker forgot to change clothes after she was on the set for the new Christopher Guest movie, entitled “I Don’t Care if ‘Gone With the Wind’ Used the Idea First, I’m Wearing These Funeral Home Curtains Anyway!”

    • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=583505025 Kelley Comfort

      Madonna, what is with you lately!?? Maybe she’s dressing for her future Super Bowl audience?

    • http://profiles.google.com/laura.jane.ogorman Laura O’Gorman

      Your persistent redefining of Chloe Sevigny as her alter egos makes me so happy! I laughed so hard.

    • http://twitter.com/anacedillo Ana Cedillo

      i am liking madonas pose, werq that pose

    • http://www.facebook.com/people/Jennifer-Lynn-Wood/583092476 Jennifer Lynn Wood

      WTF is up with Parker’s shoes that look like they have individual toes??

    • http://twitter.com/cornekopia Shawn EH

      She could cut my hair! She’d be my favorite! Wait, I don’t have hair!

    • Anonymous

      LOL.  I miss Chloe’s wackery.  I do.  And Parker Posey?  I shudder.