This is IT! Top FIVE, baby! The list that every celebrity is just DYING to get on! But alas, only the following 5 ladies wore outfits so eye-searing that the memory of them is likely not to fade any time soon.
Well done, ladies. For isn’t that what getting your picture taken is all about?
Hey, we’re all for sexiness and flashing a little secondary sexual characteristic every now and then to get some attention. We were young, hot, and single once ourselves, you know. Well, “hot” is relative, but we believed it at the time. Anyway, our point is, Kelly isn’t on this list just because we can see her spectacular nipples; she’s on this list because this entire outfit seems to have been designed around that one idea: “Let’s show my nipples! And make them spiky and SCARY! It worked for Janet!”
Although we salute you, Kelly Rowland, for somehow, against all odds, avoiding the dreaded cameltoe. That alone saved you from hovering near the #1 spot (although you’d never have taken it; there can be only one).
Burns when you pee, honey? You should probably see a doctor about that. But hey! You’re on a list! Well played!
Just a reminder, in case you forgot, that Miley here is not, in fact, old enough to remember Woodstock. She’s not even old enough to remember its 30th anniversary. Also, the Miley Cyrus you see here is in fact our Miley and not some time-traveling version of her from 2035 where she’s given up her singing career and is a ceramics instructor.
Another reminder: a celebrity of her stature could pretty much get any designer to give her clothes for FREE and she chose this.
Hillary Duff attends the Launch of The Beauty Book for Brain Cancer in Los Angeles in a Rachel Roy dress and Christian Louboutin pumps.
Hey girl! You’re pregs! Awesome! Your body has become a beautiful and burgeoning vessel for new life. This doesn’t mean you shouldn’t wear clothes that actually fit your beautiful vessel, however. We can see Rachel Roy so clearly in our mind’s eye, sobbing the next morning as these pictures hit the wires. Betcha the next time she asked a designer for a free frock, she got some resistance. “Ooookaaaay, but you’re gonna have to come in and try it on this time.”
And finally, here it is. The Ultimate Question answered: Who took the Number One slot on T Lo’s List of Awfulry?
As we said, there can be only one…
Lindsay Lohan attends the Dw by Kanye West Spring 2012 show during Paris Fashion Week
Ah, Paris Fashion Week. Such a bastion of taste and glamour. The perfect time and place to show up looking like the bedclothes you just woke up in 20 minutes before. The yellow teeth, cracked lips, hair you could snap like a twig, and groty toenails really complete the picture, don’t you find?
Linds, sweetie. Seek help. Everyone’s tired of this. YOU look tired of this.