Tom Cruise, Manly Dude

Posted on December 14, 2011

Tom Cruise wants the world to know how very manly he is. So manly, that his body actively rejects suits, like, with antibodies or something. Because what could be girlier than a man’s suit, amirite?

 

Tom Cruise and Paula Patton at the premiere of “Mission: Impossible – Ghost Protocol” in Madrid. Paula Patton wears a Dolce & Gabbana dress.

 

Tom Cruise and Paula Patton at the premiere of “Mission: Impossible – Ghost Protocol” in Germany. Paula Patton wears a Vivienne Westwood dress. 

Tom Cruise and Paula Patton at the premiere of “Mission: Impossible – Ghost Protocol” in Mumbai. Paula Patton wears a Michael Kors dress.

The end result being not a confirmation of Tom Cruise’s manly manliness, but a confirmation that he really is, no matter how terribly hard he tries to fight the impression, an out-of-touch middle-aged dude. That turtleneck getup makes him look like he’s about to shoot his Christmas Special with Perry Como and the rest of the getups are pure Suburban Dad at the Home Depot.

Your co-star wore ugly gowns for you, Tom! You couldn’t put on a freaking pair of shoes and dress pants? What’s with the giant workboots? Is that so no one notices you’re wearing lifts or are you planning on digging some ditches right after these photocalls are over?

[Photo Credit: Getty, WireImage]

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