Taraji P. Henson in Emporio Armani

Posted on December 15, 2011

Oh, Miss Taraji. So damn close. It must be so upsetting to you that we almost – almost – shouted “WERQ that Xmas dress, girl!” when we first laid eyes upon you in this:

 

Taraji P. Henson in Emporio ArmaniTaraji P. Henson attends the Giorgio Armani & Cinema Society screening of “Albert Nobbs” in New York City in Emporio Armani.

Taraji P. Henson in Emporio Armani

Taraji P. Henson in Emporio Armani

But alas, your love of this free dress did not allow you to see that it simply doesn’t fit as well as it should, doll. Although frankly, free dress or not, we don’t know how anyone can leave the house without seeing all the puckering and pulling going on. If you use a stylist, you should drive them out to the desert at night, smear them in raw meat, and leave them to the coyotes, for allowing you to be photographed in this.

This is making us sad, doll. You could have looked so fierce if you went up a size.

Also if you got rid of the jewelry that looks like it came out of a cereal box, but that’s another story.

 

[Photo Credit: Stephen Lovekin/Getty Images]

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  • https://profiles.google.com/104791269167429064986 Judy S

    Ugh–but she is so pretty she could carry off the five-and-dime earrings. The dress, though, says “I bought this dress on sale last June and I can get into it and I am going to get some wear out of it this Christmas.” 

    • Anonymous

      Yes. Or, “Well, it fit better the last time I had it on! (several croissants & burgers ago . . .). But it still zips, so I’m o.k.”

  • http://twitter.com/KalisaHyman Kalisa Hyman

    It’s giving her a fake bellybutton. 

    • Anonymous

      Belly button ring, maybe? That’s what I thought when I first saw it. 

      • http://twitter.com/Nancer Nancer

        I think it’s just a poorly placed seam, or pucker, or something…

        • http://twitter.com/NC_Meg Megan

          I think so too. It looks a tad high for a belly button to me.

          • foodycat

            Waist-band of her tights.

          • http://pulse.yahoo.com/_66KPZ36LMHMRQOX3HIJGHRNNUA MandyM

            Spanx…

  • http://joyouslifesf.wordpress.com Kiltdntiltd

    I like the earrings and the rounded cuff, the square one is what throws the thing of, jewelry-wise.  Great color on her.  But she does rather look like a piece of kielbasa.

    • Anonymous

      You’ve said exactly what I was going to say.  Colors are gorgeous.  The fit is just sad. And re her stylist, unforgivable.

  • http://www.facebook.com/charlotte.horseman Charlotte Horseman

    I have already caught myself getting bitchy today… so I’ll just say that the red color is nice.  The rest is crap.  (Oh see, now I’ve done it again!  Sorry.)

    • http://joyouslifesf.wordpress.com Kiltdntiltd

      No need to apologize.  This is a place where you can safely release your snark.  :)

      • http://www.facebook.com/charlotte.horseman Charlotte Horseman

        One of the reasons I love TLO so!

      • Anonymous

        Bless this site for that. The only downside of not being famous is that nobody cares about your burnbook (like Suri’s. Someone here got me hooked).   

        • http://joyouslifesf.wordpress.com Kiltdntiltd

          Too true, but frankly, I will keep my anonymity, thanks.  Fame holds little appeal.  Other than getting to wear fabulous clothes for free.

          • http://twitter.com/ILikeShiny Cindi Williams

            I think it would be fun to be famous in a specific niche…like a pro Magic: The Gathering player or a champion BBQer (maybe TV/fashion blogger?). You wouldn’t get recognized that often, but when you did, it would be pretty cool.

          • Anonymous

            Oh man, cannot mention this idea to my son. He would love to be some kind of famous champion of D&D or Magic. Yes, we raise ‘em geeky ’round these parts.

          • http://twitter.com/ILikeShiny Cindi Williams

            I’ve participated in a couple of pro Magic events. I was one of the only girls out of 1400+ people. My profile pic is actually a Serra Angel (Magic Card) from GenCon a few years ago.

  • Judy_J

    She could be the poster child for warning about the dangers of wearing a dress that’s one size too small.

  • http://twitter.com/ILikeShiny Cindi Williams

    When you can see puckering in the boob area in the thumbnail, you know it’s going to be bad in the big pic. But great color for her!

  • Sobaika Mirza

    Oh no. She looks like she’s been stuffed into the dress. That’s never good, no matter how awesome she is on her own.

    • Anonymous

      I wonder if her stylist said, “A little Crisco and some fishing wire and we’ll be in business”.

      • http://joyouslifesf.wordpress.com Kiltdntiltd

        love the reference to The Devil Wears Prada.

  • Anonymous

    That is too sad, such a great dress.  The way the pleating is being stretched and thrown off in front is so disconcerting.  I hate with a passion the plastic orange baubles here.  They are all fun peices, just not all together with this dress.  One bracelet with another pair of earrings in another color would have been much better.  Also, does anyone else thing this dress needs a belt? Something about the suggestion of shirt dress detailing calls for a belt to me.  Wide, black patent belt.

    • foodycat

      It really does want a belt, doesn’t it?

  • Cathy S

    Too tight! Too bad too, because other than that the dress looks really good on her.

  • foodycat

    Agreed – hate the jewellery and the fit in the bodice is cruelty to boobs.

    • http://twitter.com/ILikeShiny Cindi Williams

      Yeah, be good to your boobs, ladies; then they’ll be good to you.

    • http://onebluetree.blogspot.com/ Sara L.

      You know it’s too tight when you can see the areola. Really really too tight.

  • Anonymous

    On the positive side, the color is pretty on her.

  • Anonymous

    Close, but no cigar. And it looks like she’s wearing some hunks of cheese on her arm.

    I do like the color of the dress, though.

    • Anonymous

      I guess she figured she should take some giant Cheez-its along in case she got the munchies.

  • Anonymous

    How do you manage to make an Armani look home-sewn? This, apparently, is how.

  • Anonymous

    this is typically what a dress looks like AFTER too much holiday indulgence, not before!

  • Anonymous

    So ill fitting and it looks cheap, which I know it isn’t. Those earrings a big “Why?” as well.

  • Anonymous

    Should have been a “Girl, That’s not Your Dress” post.

    • BerlinerNYC

      More like, “Girl, That’s Not Your Size.”

      • Anonymous

        I don’t think the low waist would have suited her either way. 

        The accessories are quire blah now that I notice them… 

      • Anonymous

        Ya beat me to it! Word for word.

  • http://pulse.yahoo.com/_QFW22QV426LUOEPGASPZJWJMDE MishaFoomin

    She’s got a giant cheese-and-cracker on her wrist…

  • Anonymous

    That dress would look great on me. . . though I’d like to wear it with sparkly jewelry for the holidays. the plastic baubles would be okay with jeans and a tshirt?

    • Anonymous

      I think the jewelry is cool and modern, but it so doesn’t go with this dress. the colors need to be more intense all the way around to play up that “hot” contrast.

  • P M

    Her boobs look squished. That would have me near shrieking in agony, because it will constrict around the back and so on. Poor thing :(. 

    • http://joyouslifesf.wordpress.com Kiltdntiltd

      I want to see the vid of the stylist trying to get that zipper done up the back.

      • Anonymous

        I *really* want to know if the stylist had nervous panic in their eyes at their failure to fit the damn dress properly (surely professionals know better than to rely on measurements??), or stone cold fury because the dress *had* been fitted weeks ago and girlfriend gained 13 pounds since.

        • http://joyouslifesf.wordpress.com Kiltdntiltd

          This is why a REALLY good stylist has back up plans for such eventualities.

          • Anonymous

            I wonder if it’s like hair stylists & baby sitters – you can’t find a really good one except by trial & error &, if lucky, by word-of-mouth.

          • P M

            You know, I never thought of it that way. Hmmmm……

          • P M

            Word of mouth indeed. Pshaw – in HOLLYWOOD?! No way

          • http://joyouslifesf.wordpress.com Kiltdntiltd

            I suspect that you’re right.

  • Anonymous

    Major fit issues. What’s that pointy thing on her midriff?  I can’t stop looking at it. Too bad, because it’s a terrific dress in a wonderful shade of red. I don’t actually mind the earrings but the matchy weird bracelets are all wrong. 

    • http://www.facebook.com/people/Jessica-TallGirl-Freeman/1043623567 Jessica TallGirl Freeman

      I totally thought it was her outie belly button…then I realized it was too far up.  

  • Anonymous

    Girl, that is NOT your size.

  • Linde Hoff

    Good call….and I like the coyote idea.

  • Anonymous

    Very much like Uma Thurman the other day, If the dress were just a size or two larger it would be perfect.

  • Anonymous

    Not only would I like to see this dress one size bigger, but I’d also like to cut it off to about 2-3 inches above her knees – it would be super cute. Maybe not for this event but cute all the same. 

  • Anonymous

    Going up a size would have helped, but I blame the dress here. Those seams are swerving all over the place. And what’s happening at the shoulder? Surely that’s not intentional.

    The accessories are also a total miss, but she gets a bit of credit for trying something unexpected. I just wish she had tried looking in her jewelry box instead of in her fridge.

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Jessica-TallGirl-Freeman/1043623567 Jessica TallGirl Freeman

    Totally agree with the assessment.  Looking at it is making me feel like I can’t breath. Go up a size and all the right accessories and this would have been a knock out. 

  • Anonymous

    She needs to go up more than just one size…you can almost see her internal organs.

  • Anonymous

    Oh, nooooooo. This is actually making me go :(

  • charlotte

    This gives the term “ill-fitted” its meaning.

  • MilaXX

    UGH! i really like her and she has a great body judging from those naked ads a while back. I should not be able to see her belly button.

  • CQAussie

    Such a lovely colour too on this dress.  I prefer a shorter length but the gown length is fine too.  Fitting is definitely an issue.

  • Anonymous

    The dress itself could be fine, but the fit is terrible. It’s a wonderful color. You guys are totally right about the “stylists”. She should look so much better!

  • Anonymous

    What are those little balls on her shoulder? 

  • Anonymous

    She’s so pretty.

  • http://twitter.com/delysia_lafosse Delysia LaFosse

    My tits hurt in sympathy.

    And while this definitely, definitely isn’t the poor woman’s correct size, the placement and prominence of those seams are making me think that sizing up might not completely solve the problem. Not a great design, but god is that a fabulous color on her.

  • Anonymous

    “Tlo said: Also if you got rid of the jewelry that looks like it came out of a cereal box, but that’s another story.”

    I actually like the bangles which (like the earrings) look like Bakelite – and I’m a sucker for Bakelite. But they do NOT go with this gown (or any other gown).

    –GothamTomato

  • Anonymous

    The fit on that bodice is appallingly BAD!  What is it with the stylists these days? So many ladies out in dresses that aren’t their dress or a lousy fit, bad choices any TLo minion could figure out by just looking in the mirror. 

  • Pennymac

    In my monitor the fabric looks some what satiny, IMHO, that’s also a fashion crime almost as bad a wearing one size too small. And forget the Jewelry that came out of a cereal box:–I think it was made out of a cereal box! Yucko.

  • Anonymous

    Your ideas about the treatment of her presumed stylist(s) are kind.  Persons can (and do) make this kind of woulda-shoulda-coulda mistake all on their own, for free.

    Does anyone know, is there some kind of systematic *reason* that so many celebs for whom these red carpets are professional obligations, don’t get their multi-thousand dollar dresses altered to fit?  Do the designers not allow alteration of loaners, is the time frame too brief, or is it just lack of attention to detail/sloppiness/cheapness?  Surely these women do not pay stylists and then ignore them when the man or woman says “it’ll be perfect once it’s fitted to you.”

  • Stefanos Mantyla

    Is the employment of stylists really as prevalent as T Lo says? Are stylists not supposed to know what they are doing? That is some horrible jewelry made to go with such a lousy dress. If there were no “Emporio Armani” label in the captions, how would one know this is supposed to be an expensive dress?

  • Sara__B

    Such an engaging face on top of a too small dress and wearing Halloween earrings. I’d love to see her in the hands of a GOOD stylist.

  • http://twitter.com/lemonfreshmoxie Donna Lee

    There is an Emporio Armani for David’s Bridal collection?

  • Anonymous

    I wonder how many people she bruised while gesticulating with those bracelets?!?

  • Anonymous

    I like nothing about this. Not hair. Not makeup. NOT accessories and NOT NOT NOT dress. Okay the makeup may not be trajic

  • Anonymous

    OK – WHO IS THIS?  Why am I so behind the times?  Perhaps I need to watch more TV?  

  • Anonymous

    Way too snug, and it’s leading her to commit one of my mortal fashion sins: visible foundation garments.

  • http://www.facebook.com/chloe.stabler Chloe Stabler

    That jewelry is gross-looking.

  • Anonymous

    Oooogirrrllll….those seams are begging for mercy.

  • Anonymous

    Is that dress…shiny?  It’s an automatic out for me if it is.

  • http://twitter.com/#!/Space_Kitty Space Kitty

    If your dress makes me question whether your belly button is pierced or just an outie, then something somewhere has gone tragically amiss.

  • Anonymous

    I still think she’s almost as adorable as my kitty.  At the same time, she can teach Mrs. Jay-Z a thing or three about being fierce: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NEkyIbVkAYc

  • Anonymous

    i actually like her jewelry. it just doesnt work w/ this dress, which, i am sad to say, doesnt work at all. that kind of pleating doesnt look good on anybody more built than, say, andrej pejic.

    for some reason i always think she is jim henson’s daughter. i know she isnt. i have to look her up every time i see her just to be sure, however. i guess i must enjoy thinking it.

  • http://www.gprotocol.com Advaita Waikar

    I don’t like the pleats in the front.  But that colour looks really nice on her.

  • Anonymous

    Total lapse in judgment.

  • Anonymous

    I think the dress is ugly. Even if it had fit it just looks off from the waist down. And that jewellery is a joke. She, however, I love.

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=1046681022 Paula Berman

    It looks like an ill-fitting bridesmaid’s dress to me.