Paula Abdul Saves Christmas

Posted on December 26, 2011

So there was much merriment and rejoicing, what with the exchanging of the gifts and imbibing of the nog and eating of the non-waistline-friendly foods in great abundance. But as always, there’s a price to pay for all that enforced cheer and, right on schedule, the T Lo Household Post-Christmas Illness ’11 is well underway.

Don’t cry for us, Argentina. It’s just the usual semi-flu that comes from a week of running around, decking halls, and eating badly. If things proceed according to schedule, we’ll be up and about in 24 hours, slinging our bitchery like a Gucci knockoff in a mugging. We’re way behind on our reality TV blogging, with both the finale for Project Accessory and the last episode of All on the Line to discuss. We also promised we’d be blogging Downton Abbey this week and well, you might have to wait another 24 hours for that one. We’re gonna try and get the Project Accessory post done before the day is out.

In the meantime, what ever are we going to give our kittens to discuss? We can’t simply abandon you all when you have such a pressing need to be judgmental. Unfortunately, this week is a particularly poor one for celebrity red carpet appearances. Even when one of these attention whores deigns to strike a pose, it tends to be in some pretty, sparkly holiday thing and people find it difficult to shit all over someone’s gay apparel at this time of year.

Thank you, Baby Jesus, for giving a couple of sick, bitchy bloggers the gift of Paula Abdul:

Paula Abdul in Louis VerdadPaula Abdul at “The X Factor” season finale in a Louis Verdad spring 2012 gown paired with Christian Dior shoes.

Paula Abdul in Louis Verdad

Paula Abdul in Louis Verdad

Paula Abdul in Louis Verdad

Because she lacks taste, loves attention, and has no idea which colors go together. Bless.

Have fun, darlings. We’re going to take a nap.

[Photo Credit: Andrew Evans/PR Photos]

    • Anonymous

      Sue me, I like this on her a lot.  On the runway, you can clearly see the lining of the skirt is the turq color that the shoes are bringing.  I think she looks pretty good, everything is covered and fitted nicely and her hair isn’t OTT crazy.  If you don’t like the color combe, blame Louis Verdad.  I happen to love pink paired with hot oranges and reds with splashes of blues.

      • Sobaika Mirza

        I like the color combination (maybe not the shoes matching the lining exactly, but whatever) I just think it takes someone with a greater taste level to make it work.

      • Anonymous

        I agree – I think if she was in front of a different background, it would look 100% better.  I rather like the color combo.

      • Anonymous

        I also like this ensemble! My only complaint is she needs some type of support for the girls.

      • Alisa Rivera

        I agree with you. I think the colors aren’t shown to their best advantage because of the backdrop . 

      • Anonymous

        It’s a tough post holiday crowd here today!  LOL!  Well said to those noting the backdrop is really killing this as well.  I sometimes wonder about who decides these things and do they think at all about the end photo product?  Also, the flash is distorting the colors somewhat, I looked at this dress on the runway and it is gorge..

      • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=1248212910 Jessie Melcher Brown

        Found a picture of the lining you mentioned (http://blog.myfdb.com/wp-content/gallery/louis-verdad-springsummer-2012/screen-shot-2011-12-01-at-5-12-53-pm.png) still think its maybe one color too many. 

    • http://profiles.google.com/sephski Jennifer Szczublewski

      It’s not so bad. It’s the red backdrop behind her that makes it look hideous.  I don’t love the skirt material (too shiny) or the front detailing, but in a non-red setting, this would be rather pretty. (Photoshop, anyone?)

    • Anonymous

      I have a problem calling that thing a gown when it looks like a ugly long skirt paired with an ugly long top.  I have a problem with reds and pinks together, especially in such a horrible way.

      Seriously though, did her ears vomit?  Those things hanging on either side of her head are just nasty. 

       Like the both of you, my family has also come down with the Christmas flu, and I expect to be extra bitchy this week.  Hope everyone had a Merry Christmas and get well soon!

    • Anonymous

      All I want for Christmas is for the over 40 celebrity to put on a freakin bra!  She is in great shape but after a certain age, gravity takes over and the girls need some assistance.

      • Anonymous

        You are BANANAS. She is obviously, obviously, obviously wearing a bra. Her breasts don’t get that perfect curve au natural; and maybe you’re being deceived by how high-waisted her pants are, but they are not drooping more than any breasts that full are going to droop. Just because her bra isn’t the kind that extends across the front of her chest doesn’t mean it isn’t there.

        • Anonymous

          If you managed to read all the comments, I was OBVIOUSLY not the only one that felt she needed a bra, so maybe I am not totally BANANAS. 

    • Anonymous

      Is she dating a matador? You know, you cancel your subscription to PEOPLE magazine and you just can’t keep up with the important news.

      –GothamTomato

      • Anonymous

        Hell, I’m an A cup and I wear a bra. She damn well needs to wear one, too…

      • Anonymous

        OMG You totally cracked me up with the “dating a matador” comment.  I love you Gotham Tomato.

    • Anonymous

      Bless her. That’s all I can say. 

      Except: I noticed the weird crease her smile causes in the skin under her nose and now it’s all I can see. And I have to go check myself in the mirror. 

      • Anonymous

        Oh my goodness, now it’s the only thing I can see too.  Arrrgh!

      • Anonymous

        Thanks for making me look at that a few times : )
        Yikes!

      • Anonymous

        I wonder if it’s a side effect of Botox? I notice on the sides of her nose there are some odd little crinkles near the bridge too. I’ve noticed the effect on other celebs before.

        • Anonymous

          It is a side effect of Botox. Sometimes they call them bunny lines.

    • penn collins

      what,. no pig tails??

    • MilaXX

      Okay let’s start with the good first. That pink top actually looks good on her as does the hair and makeup. This time of the year I may have even overlooked the earrings. However that skirt is the very definition of fug, especially with those giant jewels or whatever trimming the pockets, and those shoes look like she closed her eyes, reached in the closet and put on the first pair she grabbed.

    • Anonymous

      Feel better, guys.  Remember chicken soup is an absolute MUST for those post-holiday flu bouts.

      As for poor Ms. Abdul, clearly Santa should have brought her some proper undergarments.  It’s the best he could have done, since taste, unfortunately, cannot be wrapped up for convenient gift giving.  Yikes! 

    • Anonymous

      Boy, she’s had a lot of work done on her face

      • Anonymous

        also, if youre gonna do plastic surgery & injection stuff, shouldnt you do it on both sides of your face?

        • http://www.facebook.com/amy.ennis Amy LeBaron Ennis

          Wow. Dude. I just noticed. One side is WAY higher than the other. 

      • Anonymous

        also, if youre gonna do plastic surgery & injection stuff, shouldnt you do it on both sides of your face?

    • http://twitter.com/NC_Meg Megan

      Her outfit is so shiny that it’s hurting my eyes but girl, those are SOME eyelashes you’ve got there.

      • Anonymous

        The eyelashes were what drew my attention too.  I get that you need more exaggerated makeup when you appear on TV, but holy smokes, those things are touching her eyebrows!

        • http://twitter.com/NC_Meg Megan

          Did you see in the last picture where they’re out OVER her bangs? That is insane.

      • BerlinerNYC

        lol, that at least explains it to me: I hadn’t noticed them because I was so distracted by her droopy eye and was worried she was back on the booze/pills/whatever, when the real explanation is that she is having trouble holding her eyelid open under the weight of all those fake lashes!

    • Judy_J

      X Factor, indeed! I want to put a big ol’ X on that outfit. My 5 year old granddaughter dresses herself better than that!

    • Pennymac

      Feel better, Boys! My house looks like someone stirred it with a stick, but physically, I feel fine, thank God. Miss Abdul, your skirt is making me nauseous when photographed against that clashy background. Love the top, your make up, and hair, but from the waist down, DO-OVER! Now, back to digging my nephews nerf darts out from under my couch….

    • Anonymous

      That’s not a bra issue – it’s a boob job issue.  I wish all the celebs would flaunt their dimpled breasts as a warning to the general public NOT to have this done.  In my family, we view breast augmentations as a way to cope with the aftermath of a mastectomy, not as a game of cosmetic Russian Roulette.

    • http://twitter.com/JMBlair Jen

      She has definitely had some crazy work done above the neck.  What’s going on under her nose, right above her top lip? 

      • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=1573976444 Kary McGonigal Barrie

        What IS that??

    • Anonymous

      Oh, Paula! You never let us down, do you?

    • Anonymous

      I’m embarrassed to say this, but this is pretty close to being good (to me anyway).

      With the red carpet/step&repeat though, never going to work.

      And it bothers me that she matched her shoes with the skirt and not the top.

      • http://twitter.com/TunaCharChar TunaCharChar

        This is how I am seeing it too, that the background stuff is dragging down the look and that the look would have worked with different contrasting elements.

    • Anonymous

      The colors aren’t so bad, but that is one ugly look.
      Have her eyes always been different sizes before? I’ve never watched her shows, so I’ve never really noticed that.

    • Anonymous

      I will say, I love the cut of the blouse end of that gown. Not the rest. And the fabric looks like cheap polyester. Ah well, Happy Boxing Day, everyone, and thanks for the gift of fashion fug, TLo! Feel better soon, darlings!

    • Anonymous

      Eep. So much wrinkled, crinkled satin! i do like the Tiffany blue shoes, though. They would be so cute with a short black dress.

      In general, I don’t mind hot pink and red together, but I think this red is too oranges. And, again, too much satin.

      Feel better T Lo!

    • Anonymous

      Feeling bitchy and blah here too so here goes….bad bad skirt, decent top, ugly shoes, hideous earrings, frightening eyelashes, awful hair extensions, scary plastic surgery and sad sad tits. Hey hey Paula….oy

    • http://pulse.yahoo.com/_3DWDLRZCK3MZICZKYJDR55MC4Y soren

      Just like at Walgreen’s, the second Christmas is over it’s time for Valentine’s Day.

    • Renee Thomas

      My eyes, they hurt. So. Much. Shiny.
      Bless you, crazy Paula!

    • Anonymous

      Weel, on the bright side, her shoes aren’t matchy.

    • Anonymous

      Paula would appear to get a failing grade on the boob pencil test….lots of bras on sale this time of year, please look into one…

      • http://twitter.com/yankeefoxtrot Alex McGeagh

        I feel like I ought to know this, but what is the ‘boob pencil test’? :p

        • Anonymous

          You place a pencil against your ribs, where the bottom of the boob meat attaches to the chest. If there’s enough boobage hanging down to keep the pencil in place, you need a bra, no matter what you’re wearing. If the pencil falls, because there is no hanging flesh to hold it in place, you can get away without a bra in some outfits.

          • Anonymous

            and right now all over bitter kitten land pencils are being tested…:)

            • camcraftymom

              My boobs can hold up an entire pack of pencils.

            • Pennymac

              Are you kidding? My boobs can hold up the notebook the pencils write in!!!

            • http://www.facebook.com/people/Jane-Morris/1076502799 Jane Morris

              I saw a lady once who did a one woman show that ended with her taking her top off and taking out a giant purse full of stuff and putting everything thing in the purse under her boobs including the purse itself.

    • Anonymous

      From the waist up she looks fine, but the skirt embellishments are silly.  I might like the color combo, but I’m not sure with the red background. 

    • Anonymous

      I actually like the silhouette on her, and I love that color combo, but it’s the shine of the fabric I don’t love. If it were in a matte fabric, I think this would’ve been great.

      • Anonymous

        Flashbulbs are no ones friend!  This dress on the runway was really pretty and nowhere near this shiny.

      • Anonymous

        As Dolly has said: “It takes a lot of money to look this tacky!”

        Except that Dolly knows it’s tacky.

    • foodycat

      The kittens are being very gentle today! So much good-will to unattractive attire. Personally I think she looks like the madam at the best little whorehouse in Vegas.

    • Anonymous

      Leave the ginormous rhinestone trim in the clearance bin at Jo-Ann’s where it belongs.

    • http://joyouslifesf.wordpress.com Kiltdntiltd

      Okay, so the 2 cases of empty champagne bottles are in the recycling bin so now I can get to important matters.  First up, I’m sending digital chicken soup to you guys. Get better soon.  I know of what you speak.  Groggy and spent today.  But not so much that I can’t weigh in here.
      Ms Abdul is blessed with the coloring to be able to carry off this really tough color combination. Bravo for that.  The earrings are too big, especially with suck a brilliantly colored ensemble.  Not crazy about the pocket embellishments, and she needs to hear from us all about TAKING HER HANDS OUT OF HER POCKETS, just like the boys need to.  I’m in total agreement about the need for some boobage hoisting.  And that weird fold inder her nose spells lawsuit for the people who did her work. 

      • Anonymous

        Boobage hoisting!  O, a belated merry Christmas to you, my kilted friend!  That is hilarious!

        • http://joyouslifesf.wordpress.com Kiltdntiltd

          My very real pleasure, if I made you smile, Infora. I hope your Holiday was delicious, whatever you did.

    • Anonymous

      She also has dreadful taste in plastic surgeons.

    • Anonymous

      Well, she looks pretty awful in this for all the reasons stated – my theory is that she’s just too short for it and that’s what’s causing much of the problem (other than all that embellishment on the skirt). The model on the runway is about 3 feet taller and when she moves, the skirt moves as it should showing the turquoise lining which pulls the look together. The height challenged, or their stylists, should take those sorts of things into account. Also…GET A BRA!

    • Anonymous

      Oh Paula, I SOO did not need to see your boobs.  I’m not a fan of the mixing of the THAT pink and THAT red, although it wouldn’t be quite as bad if the skirt didn’t look like a re-purposed matador’s cape. 

    • Anonymous

      I want to strip her down, gently lead her to a sudsy tub where she can scrub all the bad fake-tan off, and re-dress her in something comfortable and pretty that doesn’t sear my eyeballs and lead me to gasp in fear for her earlobes.

    • Anonymous

      She’s hitching her thumbs in those bizarely trimmed pockets in a way that is so Roy Rogers!

      • Anonymous

        And Roy Rogers is turning in his grave!

    • http://www.facebook.com/people/Jane-Morris/1076502799 Jane Morris

      Apparently some of us re still drunk from last night and not only are okay with this color combination, they also like the tacky looking…what is that?  pockets lined with bedazzler?  and the earrings that look like they’re made from spider pods from the barn and her old boobs trying to escape and the Pirates of the Caribbean sleeves.

      To those of us in that condition, I recommend putting one foot on the floor to stop the spins.

    • Anonymous

      Maybe I’m still of the Christmas spirit, but I think she looks terrific.  Not something one can usually say about the dear girl.

    • Anonymous

      So we’re really going to try to make a go of this whole color block pink and red thing?? Can’t blame a girl for trying to hitch a ride.

    • Anonymous

      I’m often surprised at how lovely the thumbnail looks and I think, “This has got to be a good review, they look gorgeous!”  Then I scroll down and let out a manly, little scream at the hideousness of the entirety of the outfit, and in this case, the lack of boob robustness and the shoes.  If you wanted to be a parrot, Paula, you should have gone with green.

    • http://profiles.google.com/laurenjeanstm Lauren St Martin

      The saddest thing about this? It’s the best I’ve seen her look in a while.

    • http://profiles.google.com/misslauraschultz Laura Schultz

      Ohhh dear….

    • Anonymous

      Also suffering from the post holiday cold, ubt in my case I can trace directly from my 3 year old sneezing in my face.  

      Watched part of the X factor finale and I remember thinking that Paula looked pretty – she’s definitely gotten softer and prettier with age.  And at least thank goodness she’s over her goth phase!  I can’t even really criticise her anymore since she’s so much better than she was 15 years ago.  

    • Anonymous

      Wow. There isn’t one part of this outfit that is not wrong! Cheap fabric. Pinata colors. Ren Faire sleeves. The poor fit, the puckering! What is that trim on her skirt? The obvious machined hem on the skirt. Her cleavage looks sad. Tacky earrings. Did she do her make-up with samples at the drug store before leaving? Light blue shoes with this? Is the girl color blind. So much to pick apart……… 

    • CQAussie

      Aww feel better darls….I got struck down with the flu during the xmas break….what a total bitch….serves me right for being one all the live long year =D  But hubby was around to be at my beck and call so all was well and Christmas was not a total waste =D 

      Paula Abdul…..oh holy hell.  A skirt that’s 3 times too long which also looks like pants.  Hideous shoes.  Even if I do love a mint green – this is yuck.  That blouse would be decent if she hadn’t paired it with the ugly skirt.  Even with the balloon sleeves.  And then she tops it off with giant earrings from Mrs. Claus’ forgotten box of ornaments way in the back of the closet. Disaster.

    • Anonymous

      Her skirt reminds me of my college days in the late ’60s/early ’70s, when we’d take a pair of jeans, open the inseams, and stitch the front and back edges together to make a skirt. However, unlike Paula, we know that there wasn’t enough fabric, so we usually added a gusset in each of the new front and back seams to have sufficient circumference.

      • Anonymous

        Yes.  That skirt looks like it was made in the traditional jeans-skirt way, only with drum major pants.  And between the carpet and backdrop and skirt, there are so many shades of red there that my eyes are hurting.  (Although the champagne and red wine from yesterday probably contribute to that problem.) 

        Paula really is the gift that keeps on giving.  Feel better, boyz!  I still have houseguests.  Tomorrow, I crash.  I cannot wait.

        • Anonymous

          and her earrings look like they were made on project accessory out of a chandelier. in twenty minutes with a welding torch.

    • Anonymous

      hmmm…apparently the stylist didn’t know the carpet/step n’ repeat was gonna be red.

      Pink and orange can be awesome together. And, the poor thing IS tiny. It’s hard to wear designer clothes when you’re 4 foot nothing.

      But, the shoes are a huge mistake. One too many colors in that palette.

    • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=1248212910 Jessie Melcher Brown

      Its a lot of “almost” to me.
      1.  I like bright colors – but those shoes are one color too many.
      2.  Her hair would be OK, but it needs to not touch her fake eyelashes and make her eye drop close.
      3.  What is the weird pull line under her nose?
      4.  Honey, we are over 40.  The girls need a bra.

      • Anonymous

        The pull line  under her noes is the result of botox injected to erase the vertical lines above her lip!

    • Anonymous

      The crotch!  The crotch!  It’s long!  It’s weird!  My eyes!   And the jeweled pocket thingies?  Wha? And those hiddy hiddy shoes!  Hiddy color!  Hiddy peep toe!  NOOOOOOOO!

    • http://twitter.com/MandySCG MandyJane

      Ooooh, shiny. lol

      I love crazy celebrities.

    • Anonymous

      HAHAAAAA! Wow, so bright it’s causing eye twitches. I better stop staring so I don’t start having seizures. What makes the eye searing brightness worse is the insanely red backdrop. That’s a whole lotta’ ticky tacky for one tiny person.

      Feel better soon, guys.

    • http://profiles.google.com/argiebear Gustavo Casals

      She also has an eye very conspicuosly closing by it’s own volition.
      And since I´m actually in Argentina, should I take your opening line personally? 

      • Anonymous

        One of my eyes does that sometimes when I smile. It isn’t squintier than the other usually, just when I smile a certain way. There is another celebrity that has an eye that does that, but i can’t remember who it is right now. I always feel a jab of sympathy when I see that in photos.

    • Anonymous

      it’s okay, the post office is closed too.
      the uc system has to shut down for two weeks around the holidays, they dont have the money to keep the place open.
      the banks are closed too, nevermind whether or not they have the money &, if so, how they got it.
      so you are not alone.

      paula abdul, here, is not alone either. she has pockets. it’s the pockets that make her look like she’s wearing an old pair of highwaisted chemin de fers. which she does, either that or dittos. she’s older than me, she went to highschool w/ my second husband–cheerleader at van nuys high, if i remember correctly, which i probably do. he, as i’m sure he would love you to know, was on the football team, the B team if you are an intellectual type & might not be impressed w/ either this fact or the one abovenoted–anyway, she’s older than me, she remembers both brands even better. also [currently] lindsay lohan’s JAG. i think it’s the same JAG. well, probably not the same in the manner of streams in which one can never walk twice, but, well, you know.

      happy post-holidays, btw.

      & i do hope you feel better soon.

      • Anonymous

        pants with a train- fits right in with your chemins de fer theme.  harhar.  i’m with TLo, i’m spending the week in bed until next year, not because i’m sick, but because i can!

        • Anonymous

          Oh I’m jealous. A week in bed just because you can. It is possible that jealous doesn’t adequately cover the depth of my feeling.

      • Anonymous

        Ever since I first saw footage of her performing as a Lakers cheerleader, I’ve been convinced that her silly exotic-girly outfits are some sort of reaction to all the time she’s spent in a cheer uniform. I have no basis for this, except that she’s one of my [very] irrational celebrity likes.  

        • Sara__B

           She’s one of my irrational celebrity likes, too.

    • http://twitter.com/MissAmynae Amy Putnam Ellinger

      turn the skirt into well-cut, well-tailored trousers, hike up the girls, and go for some turquoise earrings to bring up the shoe color, and i think it’d actually look kinda fab.

      agree about the background- it doesn’t help. Can’t say much about the eyelashes, since mine naturally hit my eyebrows.

    • Anonymous

      bless her little heart

    • http://pulse.yahoo.com/_3JSTXMWWVZN2QNP2UEKJMTWD7U Isabel

      Feel better, TLo!

      Have a great 2012.

    • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=583505025 Kelley Comfort

      She’s the gift that keeps on giving, isn’t she?
      I love what she’s wearing! I thought it was a pair of pants until I scrolled down and saw it was a skirt. Or is it a ballroom length skort? And the lederhosen embellishments on the pockets? Pure gold!

    • http://heartprintandstyle.blogspot.com Vivi N

      That shit is fugly.

    • Anonymous

      What is going on with her upper lip?  Where is that weird crease coming from? Botox?

    • Anonymous

      Hey, hey Paula! 

      There’s so much wrong here…just so much wrong….

    • Anonymous

      I like this too. It’s fun and I like pink and red together, the shape flatters her, and the idea is cute. I don’t think this pink is her best color, but overall I dig.

    • Anonymous

      I like this too. It’s fun and I like pink and red together, the shape flatters her, and the idea is cute. I don’t think this pink is her best color, but overall I dig.

    • Anonymous

      She’s Paula Abdul. There is a curve, ladies & gentlemen, there is a curve.

      The colors would work on her, absent the red background, though they still don’t really go together in my staid little world. The blouse is quite nice on her, I am not a fan of the skirt, especially dubious about the demi-train and the bejeweled trim (is it actually edging pockets????) Can’t get on board with the color of the shoes, even if the skirt is lined in that color (another strike against the skirt.) 

      And it would be too shiny. Except that this IS Paula Abdul. Which is why I don’t mention the earrings, which are perfect with the eyelashes and bangs and overall Paula-ishness.

      • Anonymous

        Yes those are really pockets on the skirt with the bedazzled edging. Which, to me, adds even more to the perception that the skirt was made from a pants pattern.

    • Anonymous

      Get rid of the hiddy shoes and the hipline blig and I would give her an IN

    • Anonymous

      What in the name of Kris Kringle is she wearing?

    • Anonymous

      She is a gift, isn’t she? Lord have mercy.

      Hope you’re feeling better TLo!

    • marilyn

      As if the homesewing inspired OU-FIT wasn’t bad enough, those shoes are HORRIFIC.  The band of ribbon on the pockets is very Heidi, and the fabric is very shiny and PM.  Then she threw in the turquoise shoes, which have nothing to do with anything.  I use the term ‘ou-fit’ for a special type of clothing.  Sales people on shopping tv channels refer to their finery as ‘ou-fits’, not outfits.  This screams ou-fit.   I think she is too petite for these loud screaming colors fighting each other. 

    • Anonymous

      I think this is kinda fabulous.

    • Anonymous

      Beadazzled Pocket Detail was so waiting for a come back.

    • http://twitter.com/kamasu_tara Tara G

      disgusting. and her eyes look deformed

    • Andrea Arthur

      So, this is what Dora the Explorer looks like for a night on the town!

    • http://twitter.com/moodring54 Rachel

      It’s hilariously over the top, but in a good way. I saw her step on stage on X Factor and though, “Oh, Paula!” It’s perfect for her.

    • Anonymous

      are you kidding??

    • http://twitter.com/CantResistCody Loading…

      i love that the project runway reject that created this look used the same material from her earrings to bedazzle her skirt. lord knows i hate waste. 

    • http://pulse.yahoo.com/_66KPZ36LMHMRQOX3HIJGHRNNUA MandyM

      Holy shit! How did THIS not squeak into the worst dressed list. This is WAY worse than about 1/2 that list.