“New Year’s Eve” Premiere Red Carpet

Posted on December 06, 2011

Darlings, it was the premiere of  “New Year’s Eve” at Grauman’s Chinese Theatre in Hollywood, California and virtually none of the men could find a suit that fit them! It’s time we shined a light on this horrible state of affairs in Hollywood. Apparently, there are no tailors! Who knew?

By the way, does the commercial for this movie also give you migraines and simultaneous toothaches every time you view it?

Abigail Breslin in Marchesa

Ooooh, sweetie. That dress is a terrible shape, the skirt looks like a half-finished costume of some sort and the shoes are tacky.

 

Ashton Kutcher

Oh please. Go home.

 

Chris Colfer

How many vests can one babygay possibly own? Chris, you are way too young and way too gay too be in such a style rut.

 

Christine Lakin

Great color, but otherwise standard.

 

Cory Monteith

Tom will always sympathize, as a fellow brick-shaped big-and-tall, with Corey’s poor efforts in trying to find a suit that fits him. Tom doesn’t make nearly as much money as Corey and doesn’t have nearly the resources Corey does, so his sympathy only lasts for about 30 seconds.  Hire a damn tailor, Corey.  You can afford it. Also, gray and brown can work as a color combo on a lot of people. You are not one of them.

 

Darren Criss

Pairing matte and shiny blacks is never a good idea when you’re getting your picture taken.

 

Fergie in Monique Lhuillier

Also pretty standard, but she looks good. Could’ve used some colorful shoes.

 

Harry Shum Jr.

Thank you, Harry. At least we know SOMEONE with a penis in Hollywood cares about how they look.

 

Hilary Swank in Elie Saab

Cute. Boring shoes.

 

Jake T. Austin

You know what would have completed this outfit? If he’d attached a BP logo and a little stuffed bird covered in crude oil.

 

Katherine Heigl in Dolce & Gabbana

She looks great. The hair’s a bit Hillary Clinton circa 2000 and the shoes are a bit tacky – Seriously, stylists: peep-toes with bows are not the classiest look in the world. Stop deploying them. – but the dress is fantastic on her.

Kevin McHale

Hipster-cute.

Lea Michele in Valentino

Pretty, but rather typically her, no? Time to shake things up, Lea.

 

Ludacris

It’s a bit on the business side of things, but he looks good. A black or maybe silver tie could have bumped this up.

 

Mark Salling

You may join Chris Colfer, Corey Monteith, and Ashton Kutcher on the bus ride home, Mark.

 

Michelle Pfeiffer in Dolce & Gabbana

There seems to be a red carpet micro-trend of doing tone-on-tone suede platform pump pairings with dresses in the red family (other examples), resulting in a look that’s matchy, without being exactly matchy. We don’t mind it too much, but we think there’s not enough of a contrast here. The dress looks great, but the hair is bordering on Baby Jane Hudson.

 

Ryan Seacrest

Whatever. At least the suit fits.

 

 

Sofia Vergara in Zac Posen

Too complicated. And the skirt’s not flattering.

 

Zac Efron

Guys, grey suits are for bankers. They don’t look very interesting in photographs unless you provide some interest in the tie or the shirt. Stop pissing us off.

But hey, your hair looks cute, Zac.

 

[Photo Credit: John Shearer/Getty Images]

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