Julianne Moore in Lanvin

Posted on December 07, 2011

Darlings, there is no INning or OUTing to be done here; no analysis of design and style elements in order to come to a conclusion about what does and doesn’t work here. And there sure as hell isn’t going to be a “You WERQ that thing, girl!” No, we just have a very simple plea to make to Julianne.

 

Julianne Moore in LanvinJulianne Moore attends the celebration of the global launch of the 2012 Pirelli Calendar by Mario Sorrenti gala dinner in New York City in Lanvin.


Julianne Moore in Lanvin

 

For the love of God, please seek help. We love you, but you can not be trusted to pick out your own outfits.

 

 

[Photo Credit: Mike Coppola/Getty Images for Pirelli, farfetch.com, bergdorfgoodman.com]

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  • http://joyouslifesf.wordpress.com Kiltdntiltd

    Why are there worms attacking her shoes?

    • http://twitter.com/ILikeShiny Cindi Williams

      Actually, she was in the barn milking cows before this event when her shoes broke. Being the resourceful gal she is, she found straw rope and repaired them on the fly. They still look better than some of the cobbling done on Project Assery.

      • http://joyouslifesf.wordpress.com Kiltdntiltd

        OMFG!  Its your fault that there is red wine on my laptop screen.  You totally made my night getting home form work and finding this.  THANKS!

  • Anonymous

    My eyes! Those shoes are horrid!

  • http://twitter.com/KalisaHyman Kalisa Hyman

    Those are the ugliest shoes I’ve ever seen. They look like sea creatures. 

    • Anonymous

      Yeah. She always goes for ankle- or T-strap shoes with a whole lot of weirdness to them; some of them are at least kind of interesting, if usually inappropriate for the rest of the outfit. But THESE. These are a whole other level.

  • Anonymous

    Remember how in “As the World Turns” she played good/evil twins? Maybe the evil twin does her styling.

    • Sobaika Mirza

      This is at least the third Franken-Dress I’ve seen her in. Evil Twin needs her eyes checked.

  • Sara__B

    She always tries too hard to be edgy and fashionable. The shoes look like something that washed up on the beach, and the dress is just ugly. Yep. This lady needs help.

    • Nora Mulllin

      She’s the spokemodel for Talbots, too, the very definition of classic and tailored. That is her look, or at least it should be.

    • Anonymous

      Washed up on the beach. Yes. That’s it.

  • Anonymous

    Sadly, this is far from the worst look I’ve seen on her.  

  • https://profiles.google.com/104791269167429064986 Judy S

    Well, she doesn’t look bad in the thumbnail…. it’s odd how such a gorgeous woman can come off looking rather unattractive. 

  • Anonymous

    Did a cat vomit up those shoes?

    • Anonymous

      Yes! Hairballs! Thank you.

  • Anonymous

    She looks like she got dressed by a toddler.  In the dark.  With nary a mirror in sight.

  • Anonymous

    X.

  • http://www.facebook.com/charlotte.horseman Charlotte Horseman

    Oh.  My. 

    Dress is fine actually and she looks good in it.  She badly needs some hosery.  But of course, it’s the shoes…looks like she pulled them out of the sea?? 

  • Anonymous

    I just . . . I don’t–I can’t even– Oh dear God, someone help her.

  • BerlinerNYC

    Gorgeous from the neck up.

    As for the shoes, I now have the answer to that age-old question of how to accessorize for a crucifixion.

    • Anonymous

      omg i laughed so hard at this comment that I must go change clothes now.  

  • http://twitter.com/FlaviaGPantoja Flavia Pantoja

    Oh dear lord. I love her, really, I do. But this is not good. Not even close to good. Absolutely nothing is working here. Even the shoes look terrible.  I mean she seams so nice, so intelligent, so capable. I am sure she has a good excuse.

  • Anonymous

    The attacking sleeve from the Golden Globes has returned!

  • Jessica O’Connell

    …I don’t understand what’s going on below the ankles. Did her feet get into some horrific accident? And her hair and makeup look so good too… what the hell happened?

  • Cathy S

    What the hell is that?

  • Anonymous

    Wow. Actual bear trap shoes. 

  • Anonymous

    She barely escaped. Look! The ropes are still on her ankles. Call 911!

  • Anonymous

    Tragic. I can’t even with her. She’s so beautiful and we get this from her? No. 

  • Anonymous

    Look out – she escaped! And she forgot to tuck her whole scarf into her dress!

  • Anonymous

    Wow. Does she need a new prescription? Seriously, she must have impaired vision to walk out of the house wearing a dress that makes her look like she has a deformed shoulder and shoes that make her feet look like they are shredding.

  • Anonymous

    I whispered a “WTF, is that footwear?!?” when I saw the last photo.  I sure can’t bellow it out full-throatedly here at IP Central.

    The shot of her legs is, I maintain, clear evidence of the need for hosiery.  She’d still need completely different shoes, but this is not a bare-legged look.

    That dress needs an intervention, too.  A left-arm scarf sleeve??  On a velvet dress?  Yeesh.

  • http://pulse.yahoo.com/_IEBOA5WAAIRKYXLALBIKMDFKKE abcdefghijklmnopqrstuvwxyz

    why she looks so much like sarah palin in the first picture?

  • Anonymous

    Sometimes all we can say is “Oh honey no.”

  • Anonymous

    Spitting out the coffee, here.

    Wait a minute – there’s a red carpet opening for a calendar? For a tire company? Where people get dressed up?

  • Anonymous

    The dress is fine. Elegant. Retro.Seasonally appropriate. But the shoes! Who wears sandals with a velvet dress??And those sandals! 
    It looks like she walked through the barn and stepped in some cow shit and got hay stuck to them. Gross.

    • MilaXX

      that weird scarf/off kilter neckline ruins the dress and makes her look deformed

  • Anonymous

    I see her in the Talbots catalogues and she looks great–then she does this. Why does she do this to herself and us? Why, Julianne, why?

  • Anonymous

    Is it possible she doesn’t own any full-length mirrors?

    Though that can’t explain the shoes. NOTHING can explain those shoes.

    • Anonymous

      I can. Bad taste.

  • Anonymous

    the shoes, the shoes … god almighty the shoes!!

  • http://profiles.google.com/misslauraschultz Laura Schultz

    WTF? Did she just step out of a seaweed patch?!

  • Anonymous

    It’s New York City.  It’s December.  It’s a short dress.  It’s time for hose.  It is never, under any circumstances, time for those sandals.

    • Anonymous

      That’s an insult to sandals. I don’t know WTH those things are.

  • http://profiles.google.com/misslauraschultz Laura Schultz

    Also, I want to know: WHO DESIGNED THOSE SHOES?! She cannot get all the blame for this unless she added the seaweed herself. 

  • Anonymous

    Horrific shoes aside, what’s going on at her wrists?  Does she have two identical bracelets on top of her sleeves, or are those part of the dress???

    • Anonymous

      Silly person…she lost her hands in a horrific accident trying to remove the shoes; those little clamps hold her new prosthetic hands on.

  • Anonymous

    I just…I don’t….did she have to fight her feet free from a hemp prison before she could make it to the red carpet? 

  • Anonymous

    is it an optical illusion or the scarf BECOMES the left sleeve?
    and good luck not tripping with those lose sandal laces! oy…. 

  • Anonymous

    You need a new category. Style Intervention?

    • Anonymous

      Yes!  Fun.

  • Anonymous

    Come on.  I dare anyone to look so fantastic and calm with both feet caught in bear traps. 

    Also, she’s at a Pirelli event.  Anyone want to make a “Do not back up – Severe tire damage” joke…?

  • Anonymous

    Speechless.  This poor woman was walking in the woods and got both feet caught in steel traps.  While wearing a large Hefty bag.  Now what are the odds of that?!

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Jessica-TallGirl-Freeman/1043623567 Jessica TallGirl Freeman

    I’m sorry, does that say this is a calendar launch.  They are really reaching in Hollywood now.  She looks ridiculous. I’m sure my 5 year old nephew made her shoes during ‘craft for mommy’ hour.

  • Terence Ng

    …WHAT.

  • Anonymous

    You guys should start a “Tears of a Queen” feature to showcase really bad fashion. This is a fantastic start to that feature. Poor Julianne. I love love love her, but girlfriend does not know how to dress for success.

    • http://www.tomandorenzo.com Tom and Lorenzo

      Actually, we like a reader’s suggestion that we do the converse of WERQ: WREQ.

      • Anonymous

        Oh, yes! Please!

      • Anonymous

        Oh, yes! Please!

      • Anonymous

        PERFECT!!

  • Anonymous

    I love the hair and make-up, everything else makes me sad. Can we change bodies Julianne? Obviously you pay yours no mind and don’t want to show it off, I however would appreciate it and never let such sad sacks hang over my rockin bod!

  • Anonymous

    Wow!  Those are some …err…shoes!?!

    She was so close too, because from the ankles up, she looks pretty good…for her. 

    • Anonymous

      When I first looked at this dress and posted earlier, I thought the
      dress had a scarf at the neck and Ms. Moore had it casually thrown over
      her shoulder and it also laid upon her sleeve.  I was looking at some
      other pics on line…it appears that scarf IS the sleeve.  There is no
      black shoulder under the chiffon.  That changes my opinion on the dress
      all together.  It’s weird…not as weird as her shoes and cuffs…weird
      none the less! 

  • Anonymous

    This weekend I had the privilege of standing in line behind a very bitter girl who was complaining about being “forced” to go to this very event because she works for a company that works with Pirelli, she was particularly angry that she had to change into a fancy new dress at her office, and as she explained to her friend that it was a black tie gala for a calendar launch I almost did a spit-take right onto the back of her well groomed head.

    I’m very curious to see if her head exploded when she saw Julianne parading around dressed like this.

  • Anonymous

    There is not enough time to enumerate all the things that are wrong with this, but they’re pretty obvious to anyone but Julianne Moore.

  • Anonymous

    oh dear. aside from the dress, she has consistently terrible taste in shoes. black hose/shoes for you, madam. 

  • Joyce VG

    I really like the cuff/bracelet on her sleeves.  The rest of it can go.

  • http://twitter.com/sockandaphone Gaby

    THOSE. SHOES. D:

  • http://profiles.google.com/shannonlstewart Shannon Stewart

    Those are possibly the most horrifying shoes I’ve ever seen!  And I get that she wants something edgy, but you have to choose an edgy piece that goes with the other pieces!

  • http://pulse.yahoo.com/_JQSQJRAL4YYWB2OZNHNUHKZAEY Christopher

    hair and makeup look good

  • http://asskickingadviser.com/ Ass Kicking Adviser

    But come on, if she were wearing black patterned tights and black pumps, she would look chic. No? I don’t hate the dress. Just the monstrous shoes. Did her children make them?

  • http://asskickingadviser.com/ Ass Kicking Adviser

    But come on, if she were wearing black patterned tights and black pumps, she would look chic. No? I don’t hate the dress. Just the monstrous shoes. Did her children make them?

  • Anonymous

    See what happens when you play Sarah Palin, Julianne?

  • Anonymous

    See what happens when you play Sarah Palin, Julianne?

  • Anonymous

    damnit julianne!

  • Anonymous

    At least she’s not letting Tom Ford pick her clothes for her anymore…?

  • aimee_parrott

    Once upon a time, actress Julianne Moore was kidnapped right before an event.  She started off wearing a simple black velvet sheath, but the Mormon serial killer who abducted her forced her to don a sheer long-sleeved underdress after tearing off part of the black velvet on her left shoulder in disgust at her wantonness.  He shackled her feet, and not trusting the strength of the shackles, he also bound her with many, many loops of burlap (?) rope.  Despite all of these bindings, Ms. Moore managed to engineer a daring escape.  Sadly this left her no time to go home and change before the party celebrating the release of Pirelli’s Miracle Elixir, so she had to make do with what she had on.  Fortunately her makeup was still lovely and she managed to use a broken piece of shackle to fix her up-do. 

  • Anonymous

    I don’t mind the dress. Shorter hem, accessories by anyone other than Regretsy? It could work.

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Jane-Morris/1076502799 Jane Morris

    Poor thing. The dog ate her outfit.

    • Anonymous

      Then threw it up.  And she wore it.

  • Anonymous

    Well, this has convinced me that I am right to constantly wear hose. My legs are that shade and it is blinding! (And although I am loving my “Wocka Wocka” pedi, I might need to change that, too!)

  • http://profiles.google.com/sara.e.munoz Sara Munoz

    I read “Julianne Moore in Lanvin”, and knew it would be bad. And it is.

  • Anonymous

    She must have been tripping over those shoes tentacles all night.

    The dress looks like a couture straight jacket.

    Shoe tentacles and straight jacket are never a good look.

  • Anonymous

    My Southern granny would have said “My, but she looks a mess, doesn’t she? Bless her heart.”

  • Anonymous

    It looks like her neck sprouted a leak and magically formed an arm, icicle style. 

  • voter1

    Looks like a jumper with a sweatshirt underneath.  Were those shitty shoes made on Project Accessory?

  • http://profiles.google.com/laurenjeanstm Lauren St Martin

    Is she like contractually obligated to wear Lanvin? Because that is the only possible explanation for what is taking place here.

    • Anonymous

      No, that won’t even cover it. Because I am positive that a good {**GOOD** The modifier is important here} stylist could dress her perfectly well in Lanvin.  Either she interferes, tragically, in the process, her stylist is strangely inept, or she dresses herself. Poorly.

  • Anonymous

    This outfit’s awfulness makes me irrationally angry. I think she and Maggie G. must text each other saying “I am going to wear the ugliest, least flattering outfit on the red carpet tonight!” “no I am!” “no, I am!!!”

    • Anonymous

      And they’d both do a lot better showing up nekkid.

  • Judy_J

    Those are some really fugly shoes!  That dress is singularly unattractive as well.  Julianne, please listen to TLo and hire a stylist, STAT.

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Jessica-Charlotte-Siewierkiewicz/503556621 Jessica Charlotte Siewierkiewi

    Noooooo, those shoes! Did pirates steal her original ones and then she had to DIY with whatever was on the ship (chain and metal thingies and rope)? And her right shoulder seems to try to declare independency from the rest of the limbs.

  • Anonymous

    That’s hilarious. She actually looks better in this dress (or whatever it is) than she often does, but those shoes are worse than hideous. And, sorry, bare-leg-lovers, but when you’re in a long sleeved dress with your neck wrapped up, bare legs (not to mention hideous sandals) look silly.

    • Anonymous

      Preach, sister!

  • Anonymous

    The sleeves make her look like she has edema…or is melting.

  • Anonymous

    Looks like she ran through the brambles of Central Park to get there on time, and darn if those thorny plants didn’t tear her stockings to nothing.

  • Anonymous

    What the hell IS that?

  • Anonymous

    Dear God in Heaven!  That…shoulder treatment…makes her look like Quasimodo.  All she needs is the bell. The shoes are beyond comment.  And with her incredibly fair skin, as usual, the bare legs look terrible.  Not to mention that it’s winter in NYC.

    This is the third or fourth consescutive event at which she’s looked like she’d been dressed by a gang of inmates at an asylum.  What on earth has happened to this woman?  To look this bad at that many events, you almost have to be trying not to look pretty.

    Julianne.  Seek help. 

  • Mary McClelland

    BRWHAHAHAHAHA is all. 

  • http://twitter.com/nicolahearts nicole seligman

    i feel like, individually, there might be some cute elements here…but i’m not even sure what they are. or what i’m looking at. sorry, miss moore. /:

  • Anonymous

    The dress can be salvaged (lose a couple inches on the hem) but those shoes need to die in a fire.

  • Anonymous

    Well, she ran through the briars and she ran through the brambles and she ran through the thickets where a rabbit couldn’t go. She ran so fast that a stylist couldn’t catch her. Evidently.
    At first I thought, maybe she just doesn’t care, which is OK but a questionable position to take in her chosen profession. But then I thought, somebody who doesn’t care wouldn’t purposefully seek out footgear like that; they’d wear a black or putty pump and be done with it. 

    I can’t figure her out.

    • Anonymous

      When one can use lyrics from a classic country song (named after a battle, for goshsakes!), usually instrumented with a bluegrass emphasis, to describe one’s red carpet attire . . . well.

      Never seen The Battle of New Orleans used on a fashion blog before, TigerLaverada. And aptly used at that. Well done!

  • Now I am The Bee

    Wow–I’ll bet this is a dress that sounds so good on paper–let’s take a velvet day dress and add these delicate pale sheer sleeves, then wear it with a high strappy sandal….then it ends up being this.  A big mess.

  • Anonymous

    Um, nice makeup?  Yikes.

  • foodycat

    I think she has some sort of phobia of symmetrical sleeves. It’s quite sad really. I’ll change my facebook status to raise awareness.

  • Anonymous

    Maybe she and Chloe Sevigny are long-lost twins.

  • Anonymous

    It is like she has some sort of reverse fashion dysmorphia, where she puts on an outfit like this and sees a stunning ensemble in the mirror.

  • Anonymous

    Amen!

  • Anonymous

    !!!
    Some people go to the bathroom, come out with toilet paper stuck to their shoes. She obviously stuffed one of the cocktail girls into a shredder…

  • http://twitter.com/delysia_lafosse Delysia LaFosse

    I think this woman needs a lifelong Lanvin ban. Lanvin has some tough silhouettes to pull off, and Julanne is not the lady to do it, as she has proved time and time again. Somebody please steer her toward the Oscar de la Renta…

  • Anonymous

    WTF?

  • Anonymous

    Good God, those are the most hideous shoes I’ve seen in a long while.  Poor girl, maybe she’s having eye problems & can’t see herself in the mirror by the front door.

  • Anonymous

    Tilda could have pulled this off- maybe. This is NOT Julianne’s dress. Oh honey no. Shoes could be less hideous if paired with something else

  • Anonymous

    She needs to learn one very simple rule.  Draw attention to the prettiest things about yourself and skim over the rest as much as you can.  And while I know we’re not allowed to comment on individual body parts here, and she is undoubtedly a very beautiful woman, I don’t think anyone would say that her feel and lower legs were her best feature.  She would have looked SO much better with a simple black pump or knee-high black boots.

  • http://twitter.com/IfIwasasculptor Erin Leahy

    Are.. are those hemp bracelets trailing off her shoes?  Not ok.  not for anyone. 

  • Anonymous

    Just.No. There isn’t one thing right about this outfit.

  • Anonymous

    What the HELL are those things on her feet? Ack! She’s mastered the ability of fugging down (up?) herself to the point of completely obscuring her prettiness. There is a beautiful women somewhere in there, right?

  • Anonymous

    I was tsking over the sleeves and how ugly they are and then I saw the bare legs and sandals …in New York City in December … at night … with velvet.  UGLY sandals.

  • MilaXX

    Now I like a bit of frou frou as much as the next gal, but if there was ever a person in need of clean, simple designs, it’s Julianne. I’m tired of seeing her looking like some design school project reject.

  • Anonymous

    Nothing works together here. Nothing! Then again, would those shoes work with any outfit?

  • http://pulse.yahoo.com/_3AJ237ND3GAHDQJZ4TLCO4WLRA Emily

    She loves the tortuous shoes too!

  • Anonymous

    Ouch! My eyes!! Those shoes!!!!

  • Anonymous

    the dress is okay i think.
    but even i dont understand the shoes.

  • Judy Raddue

    The saddest thing?  She is one of the most beautiful women in the world.  

    • Anonymous

      I recently rented Crazy Stupid Love, and she wore lovely, flattering colors and simple outfits, and looked gorgeous.  

  • Anonymous

    Amen.

  • Anonymous

    Why does she do this to herself?  Those shoes are unspeakable.

  • Anonymous

    the woman won the genetic lottery in the looks department and she certainly has acting talent, but why oh why must she constantly outfit herself in the most hideous clothing available??…Is that macrame hanging off her shoes or some form of dreadlock, i cant tell….and while i appreciate her pale skin, perhaps an evening out in New York in December calls for hose?

  • Anonymous

    I could have lived with the dress on its own, but the accessorizing is cracktastic. Those are the ugliest shoes I’ve seen all year, and you’ve shown us our share of ugly round these parts. ;-)

  • Anonymous

    Hall of Fame Badness.

  • http://twitter.com/SparklyCasanova UglyCasanova

    I’m sure she can hit up Tom Ford for advice or at least recommend a stylist, no?

  • Anonymous

    What is her obsession with Lanvin?  Is she under contract?  

  • Anonymous

    The shoes look like she retrieved them from a dumpster and they still have crap hanging off of them.

  • Anonymous

    I think a higher hem, different shoes, and something other than corpse make-up could have fixed this. The dress is very Lanvin.