Gucci ‘Zoo’ Collection

Posted on December 12, 2011

Darlings, what should you get the insufferable brat on your holiday shopping list? What does one buy for the child who has everything but still keeps asking for more?

Gucci children’s accessories, of course.

These are obviously for children who aren’t dirty little airheads who would lose a shoe in mid-stride. In other words, alien children. Or possibly demonic half-breed children. Definitely not for normal human children. That would just be silly. So if you have any alien children or the Anti-Christ on your holiday shopping list, here you go. Problem solved.

Or to hell with the kids; buy something for yourself. That little semi-angry bird is adorable. If you have small hands, no one need ever know.

Source: Gucci Zoo ‘Kid’ Accessory Collection [Trendland]
[Photo Credit: gucci.com, trendland.net]

    • http://twitter.com/stellaphone Stella Zawistowski

      Who besides Suri Cruise is going to get one of these? Lordy.

      • Anonymous

        Have you read Suri’s burn book?  Google it for a laugh or two.

        • http://pulse.yahoo.com/_HBS4KWJ6XTPDEL2JMD37ZS5YHA Ben

          That is one of the best tumblrs out there. It’s hysterical. 

        • Anonymous

          I had not. You just killed my work day. 

      • http://www.facebook.com/people/Deborah-Jozayt/100002949685297 Deborah Jozayt

        A lot of teenagers seem to buy these for the twee factor, or the folks who go into Gucci and want ‘something’ but can’t afford anything else. The keychains make a killing there!

    • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=68202265 Andrea Howland-Myers

      Alien children? Come on, T Lo, you know these are for Miss Zahara.

    • http://twitter.com/triskuit Tristan

      I’m sorry but is that bag a whale? And why is it only available to children?

      • michelle abeln

        i would carry almost all of these things!

        • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=1663121863 Donna DeVore Metler

          Check Baby Gap/Gap Kids. My DD has an ADORABLE little Baby Gap dinosaur bag that she has used to tote stuff around for 3 years. I think it was about $15.

    • http://profiles.google.com/shawna.ready shawna ready

      OMG, I love it!!!! That little mouse is ADORABLE.

    • foodycat

      That’s one apathetic stoner parrot!

      • http://twitter.com/1carmelita 1carmelita

        I’ve seen plenty of spoiled, bored children with that same look.

        • http://twitter.com/londonpenguin Teresa MacDonald

          Birdie say, “Meh.”

    • http://pulse.yahoo.com/_J4QGTFQCCILAE4N2SYZZRJ6SPY R LM

      I see this all over the adults.  Like me…hello, 5th bag down!

    • http://twitter.com/TheScottFinley Scott Finley

      I know exactly the kids who would get something like this as a present. Before we moved to Philadelphia, we stayed for a few weeks at the Sofitel while scouting a place to live.  Each evening we would go down to the lobby bar, La Bourse, and have a drink before heading to dinner.  There were other hotel guests in the bar along with their children, who would run around loudly and without regard to other people, iphones and other too-mature technology in their hands, all while their self-centered parents ignored them. In other words, children that are doomed unless they can marry well, and frankly, I hope they all had cosmetic surgery trust funds.  They’ll need it (although I do think that if the parents would run into some financial difficulty they would have not the slightest hesitation in selling off one of precious’ harvestable organs). Those are the kinds of children who would receive a present of a baby Gucci bag, and that present is not so much for the child as it is for the parents’ vanity.  

      • Anonymous

        Hmm, I was thinking of those girls on Tiaras and Tyrants (close enough)–much more for Mommy’s vanity than the kids…

      • Joseph Lamour

        I stayed there too! Thanks Gilt Groupe. There was a Rolls Royce limo parked out front when we pulled up in our 2001 Honda. Ah, life.

    • Judy_J

      These are way too cute for kids.

      • Anonymous

        And the handbag is $545.  Sheesh.  Altho’ that little mousey thing is cute.

    • muzan-e

      My child has just rejected them all.
      But mostly because she’s still holding out for the Seth Aaron For Kids collection of her dreams.

    • Kate Pearce

      I’d be quite happy to take care of one of these for my daughter until she is old enough to appreciate it for herself. :)

    • http://twitter.com/shinobi42 Shinobi

      These are actually kindof cute, if they weren’t so GUCCI. (I personally dislike any fashion whose main feature is a label that proves how much I paid for it.) 

      I’ll stick with my queen bee bags, cheaper and more functional.

      • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=1234087433 Jen Freeman

        I insanely agree. That’s why I don’t care for the vast majority Dooney and Burke, Louis Vuitton, Chanel, or Gucci purses.  Walking billboards, totally tacky.

        • http://www.facebook.com/people/Deborah-Jozayt/100002949685297 Deborah Jozayt

          Don’t forget Coach and Michael Kors!

    • Anonymous

      These are for children? What children would want them?

      Also – good thing the wallets have credit slots. You know, for the children’s credit cards.

      • Anonymous

        A child who would like this would like even better one of those Target or Michael’s craft kits where they velcro or sew their own bird, which they design themselves, onto some prefab bag.

        That said, I personally would love a real Angry Birds coin purse or small thing you can attach to your key ring or purse.

        • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=1663121863 Donna DeVore Metler

          Agreed-my 7 yr old’s favorite accessories are whatever she makes herself, with extra glitter, sequins, and rhinestones added. And a Gucci purse buys a lot at Michael’s (and even more if you go to companies that sell craft supplies online).

      • http://profiles.google.com/shannonlstewart Shannon Stewart

        Actually, both of my older kids now have business cards, and they’re both under 10.  It  started because they carry one of mine and one of my husband’s in wallets in their backpacks.  That way if they’re ever stranded and need to tell someone how to get ahold of us, I don’t have to rely on their memories.  Then my brother made some for his daughter, who loves office supplies with her number on it.  My kids then wanted their own, which makes it so much handier for them to give their phone numbers or email address (or in our case, mine) to friends for playdates.  It’s sparking quite the trend…

        • Anonymous

          Franchise!

          • http://profiles.google.com/shannonlstewart Shannon Stewart

            I’m bad at that kind of thing — for instance, when I do custom clothes for people, they generally end up cheaper than what they can buy at Penney’s, even though they’re custom fit and made to (in my mind reasonable) standards, like fully lined and correctly.  I’m so cheap I have no idea what people will pay for comparatively silly things. 

            • Anonymous

              I know what you’re saying. My kids went to a great (public) grade school with a lot of very well-to-do families & my peasanty self could never, ever wrap my mind around the disposable income that went to really clever, cute things that as far as I could tell, sold easily for 500-600% mark-up, or more. I knew several women who had very successful small businesses out of their homes simply because they’d managed to find the market that was able & willing to pay well for things that weren’t that expensive to put together, once you’d hit on something that would appeal.

              Of course, on the other hand, I know several who make stuff that sells like hotcakes at arts/crafts fairs & on line, but they can’t really turn it from a ‘pin money’ hobby to a real income stream without farming the construction to some supply of cheap labor – whether it’s over the border in Mexico or just a stable of teenagers working part time for minimum wage (or less).  

              I wish I were smart enough to tell the difference between a business on one trajectory and one on the other.

            • muzan-e

              I’m not even remotely involved in the clothing industry (grade 8 Home Ec.: stitching a pillowcase?  Botched!), but I am thoroughly disproportionate, a notorious miser, and 100% comfortable with paying a good percentage more than the local standard for garments that are custom-fitted to my weird build. Trousers, in particular.   For a classic, standard garment – black, straight trousers, say – I would pay considerably more than the local standard.

              For someone like me – tall, narrow shoulders, small waist, big thighs, short shins, huge feet, tiny ankles – good, custom clothing is a godsend. I could buy my pants at Penney’s, say, but I’d have to start in the Petites or Juniors section, and settle for pants that are tight at the thighs, weird at the knees, prone to gaping if I drop something, and in general hang too short. I’ve got no business advising you on your business… *g*  but really, at the very very least charge what I’d be paying for that awful Penney’s fit.

            • http://profiles.google.com/shannonlstewart Shannon Stewart

              See, I don’t really see it as a business — like I’ve never put an ad together in my life.  I started doing it for some friends because they needed it, and then friends of theirs started calling me and… it just sorta happened.  I charge materials plus 25%, with a 10% refundable “oops” budget — basically to cover if there’s a problem in a certain piece of material.  Anything I don’t use out of that gets refunded.  It ends up being easier to base it on materials than on time or effort — more difficult fabrics tend to cost more, and more complicated pieces require more material.

        • Anonymous

          Like Victorian-era calling cards! :-D Great idea.

          • http://profiles.google.com/shannonlstewart Shannon Stewart

            SO much easier than sending your phone number with your kid every time someone wants a playdate!  And they have their own emails, which they are both aware I check and maintain to deal with spam, so they can email their little friends. 

            Of course, I put them in $5 wallets from Wal-mart rather than ridiculously expensive Gucci ones.

            • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=1663121863 Donna DeVore Metler

              I use my personal business cards more to arrange playdates than for my actual business :).

              My DD has business cards for a similar purpose-and to advertise her “store” on Zazzle. Not that she’s ever sold anything to someone she wasn’t biologically related to, but she’s SO thrilled to be able to go online and see the t-shirts and the like she’s designed :).

    • http://aintbaroque.com/ Ain’t Baroque

      I want the whale bag. I have small hands, so it’s cool, right?

      Of course, I’m also 5’8″, so there might be some proportion problems in other areas.

    • Anonymous

      These look like they were made on Etsy.  Actually, Etsy ones would be better.

      • Anonymous

        Exactly. The only difference is the logo fabric and the price tag.

    • Anonymous

      The animal choices here make me curious about Gucci’s idea of “Zoo” — all that’s missing is a hamster and a hermit crab. 

      • http://twitter.com/RBinTexas RBinTexas

        I think I would hork up some cash for a hermit crab key chain. AAARRRGGG with the claws Matey!

    • Anonymous

      I have yet to encounter a Gucci purse I like. Aside from the mouse, these are fug.

    • Anonymous

      all i could think about reading this was angry birds. 

    • http://www.facebook.com/ktewson Kathryn Tewson

      That bird looks like it’s wigged out on Quaaludes.

    • Anonymous

      It’s for children with a professional nanny, per child. 
      It’s funny, I have the same expression on my face as that bird, while watching these items.

    • http://twitter.com/anacedillo Ana Cedillo

      hahaha “these are obviously for children who aren’t dirty little airheads who would lose a shoe in mid-stride. In other words, alien children”. this collection is so strange, i really only like the little mouse coin holder thing, but i still wouldnt get it. 

    • http://twitter.com/anacedillo Ana Cedillo

      oh and one more thing, i just want you guys to know that i come here before i go on facebook…that says some thing ;)

      • Anonymous

        ME TOO!  It’s an addiction.

    • Anonymous

      all of them look so sad :(

    • http://profiles.google.com/shannonlstewart Shannon Stewart

      Does that mean that I can’t have the whale bag for myself?

      To be honest, if I were loaded (and took leave of my senses), I could buy one of these for my daughter and never worry about it getting damaged or messy.  For all the child’s other faults, she does take good care of her purses.  (She’s 5 and has about a dozen… people keep buying them for her!)

    • http://twitter.com/susanpcollier Susan Collier

      Put a bird on it.

    • http://pulse.yahoo.com/_QCJEZMOV4VYMXC5WJALLZNYEB4 Mari Rose

      That bird looks stoned.

    • http://onebluetree.blogspot.com/ Sara L.

      I love everything here. Everything. For myself. Screw the kids. And to those who say it looks like Etsy, have you ever been to Etsy?? These look really well made (as they should) and the design is great. 

      The prices are, of course, insane.

    • Christina Brennan

      I am getting really sick of these hipster, stylized owl applique things.  They were cute and twee five years ago.  Now they are everywhere and awful.  The mouse is cute.  I’d sport the mouse.

    • Anonymous

      I think they’re super cute. Especially the parrot tote bags that are 4th and 5th from the top. That, and the charming key ring. That will show up on bags all over the world, methinks. 

    • Anonymous

      Anyone who spends that kind of money on a PURSE FOR THEIR KID needs to be smacked in the face with said purse.

      • Anonymous

        Well, I will make an exception if said child already has a big enough college fund for whatever a private school will cost in 15 years (probably half a million for 4 years), a seed fund they can fall back on in family emergencies or use to start a business or to go to grad school, AND they actually express a preference for one of this over a Hello Kitty or other primary colored piece from, say, Target.

        Meet all those criteria and I will allow that it is not for me to say how someone else spends their money. Though I will have thoughts . . .

    • http://twitter.com/sonjamikail sonjamikail

      I hate myself for loving these so much.

    • Lauren Maier

      These are for kids?!  What about kids at heart?  5-year-old stuck in a 20-something’s body says, “WANT.”

    • Anonymous

      They look like stuff that’s sold on ModCloth, sans the price tag and the Gucci initials.

    • http://profiles.google.com/katherinempg Katherine Pisarro-Grant

      Fairly nauseating. I also just absolutely hate logo purses. Gucci’s logo is “aesthetically not pleasing”; I challenge anyone to argue that they genuinely like it as a print for their handbag and not just for Gucci.

      • Anonymous

        agreed about the logo, too.
        actually agreed about all the logos, too.

      • Anonymous

        THANK you. I thought I was the only one who hated logo…anything.

      • Anonymous

        and why do they have to print the ugly logo on that ugly colored canvas stuff.  not a fan of khaki-tan-beige tones, especially mixed with bright pastels. ick.

    • Anonymous

      Key chain and coin purse are the only items here anyone should be caught dead with.

      Unless they are very well-to-do, work with young children, and imagine themselves as the endearingly dotty parent-stand-in figure in a certain breed of Disney  movies.

      (And I hate the little Gucci medallion hanging off of the key chain, though I know that some persons either accept since there is no choice or actually revel in owning expensive items which turn them into the manufacturers’ walking ads. I know it’s reverse-snobbism to feel like this, but I just can’t help it.)

    • http://www.facebook.com/people/Mary-Stone/100001328135240 Mary Stone

      B to the A to the R to the F

      JUST…NO.  If I’m going pay 3 or even 4 figures for leather goods, they will NOT look like they are intended for someone whose chronological age is in the single-digit range.

      Just sayin….

    • http://tigergray.blogspot.com/ Tiger Gray

      I love the birds. I’d buy them for me. Screw the kids, Imma run off with that wallet. 

    • http://twitter.com/nanipoo Ilana Schenck

      I seriously want one for myself.  CUTE!

    • Jamie Saunders

      Put a bird on it!

      I especially love the blue wallet and the rat bag.

    • MilaXX

      Last season they also had cute little back packs. The bags are proportioned too small for adults but the accessories work quite well for us grownups. I’ve got my eye on the key fob & wallet.

    • Anonymous

      Those are the kind of things trophy wives will buy their daughters in order to educate them for a life of materialism and lack of self-esteem.

      In short, the 21st century Betty Drapers of this world.

    • Anonymous

      These are hideous. 

      –GothamTomato

    • Toto Maya

      So adorable, if they weren’t ten billion dollars I would get the mouse one.

    • CQAussie

      I have small hands!!!!  And I love the Pissed Off Birdie Bag.  YAY!!

    • http://www.facebook.com/people/Mary-Elizabeth-Poytinger-Baumer/1516981341 Mary Elizabeth Poytinger Baume

      i want all of these, fuck my kids. give mommy some gucci

    • Anonymous

      Angry Birds.

    • http://www.facebook.com/people/Emily-Smith/12431153 Emily Smith

      I really enjoy that purple whale purse.

    • Anonymous

      I’m a horrible adult because I want them all :/

    • http://www.facebook.com/Hutchlover Amye Sabin

      I have small hands, and I DEFINITELY want one of these bags with the angry little chicken.

    • Anonymous

      To hell with children, I’m taking these for me.

    • Anonymous

      When I was a kid one of my aunts gave me a little red fish change purse that the mouth shaped open and shut. I think it cost her about 50 cents. It was nice .

      • Anonymous

        I had one of them. (one of those?)  I think my brother’s was a frog.

        • Anonymous

          i think we all had one or another of them.
          those of us of a certain age, w/ perhaps a certain sort of parenting/relative-ing, of course.

    • Anonymous

      My 4-year old niece would be like, “What is this shit?”

      Minus the shit part, hopefully.

    • Anonymous

      In my head, a Gucci zoo would have more fabulous animals than birds, mice, and fish. I am guessing these are too high a price tag for whimsy (at least for me, I like my whimsy cheap).

      • Anonymous

        agreed about the animals, agreed about the price [although i dont like anything cheap, not really. this caused my parents a lot of misery, which i just typed as miserly, & which=a LOT of screaming {not on my part}].

        that said, it’s gucci, you’d think they’d stretch a bit more. maybe a red river pig or a bilby [i'm joking {kind of}] or something a bit less obscure but also a bit more exceptional.

        i still like them a lot, however.

        • Anonymous

          I’ll pay for things I will use a great deal, but cute bags with birds aren’t likely to fit with my lifestyle too often to justify the cost. While I write this I am lying. I will pay too much for completely impractical shoes that I will desperately try to find an excuse to wear–I have 2 pair right now that fit that bill and one that is on the way. I have engineered a way to wear each of them once and am making New Years plans so I can wear the new pair.

    • Anonymous

      I would carry the shit out of that fish purse.

    • Anonymous

      I LOVE all of these.  I literally laughed out loud when I saw the little mouse coin purse.  Why waste them on the kids?  I want them!

    • Anonymous

      Screw the perfect little children…I want them all! Especially the fish purses…that is a fish, isn’t it? Way cute.

    • Miriam CS

      If someone gave me one of those, I would unashamedly squeal with delight. I am 21 years old.

    • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=1550774690 Emily N Cannon

      It looks like Gucci got inspired by hipsters on Etsy. How bizarre.

    • Anonymous

      The line starts at around $300 (for a simple key ring; just how many keys does a 6-year old have/need?) and goes up from there. It’s moments like these when I want to find a guillotine and stand below it shouting “Death to the aristos!” Target and its ilk have things that are just as cute, and you won’t want to kill yourself when your child loses/breaks/trades it.

      • Melvis Velour

        Amen grrl!

        I remember reading somewhere when Iman was asked about giving children items from expensive designers and her incredibly logical response was “…if they want it, they can buy it themselves otherwise, it’s Baby Gap!”

        Word

        • Anonymous

          Yet another reason why Iman rocks.

    • http://twitter.com/xuvious Advaita Waikar

      I go to Accessorize when I want things with cute animals on them. But enough with the Angry Birds inspired animals…

      • Anonymous

        to me the birds just look bored.

    • Anonymous

      I get why the birds are angry, but why are the whales and mouse so SAD? I’m just really sad about sad animals now.

    • Anonymous

      There are no hippos! I cannot live without hippos.

    • http://pulse.yahoo.com/_2CNDPMVO4W23R5TVC2QMTJ5BZE Heather

      The mouse keychain is about $250 (I think it was in Vogue’s Christmas gift guide or something similar. It’s not like I know because I bought one). Do NOT want to think about what the purses cost. 

    • http://www.facebook.com/people/Jessica-TallGirl-Freeman/1043623567 Jessica TallGirl Freeman

      I actually like the straw bags with the birds.  

    • http://twitter.com/Merneith Merneith

      I would totally carry one of those straw bags with the Pissy Parrot, the mousie bag or the keychain. I think the white Pissy Parrot straw bag would be really cute for summer.

    • Anonymous

      Twee.  Even for a child.

    • http://profiles.google.com/laura.jane.ogorman Laura O’Gorman

      Even Gucci isn’t above the Angry Birds trend apparently…

    • allisankelly

      These are adorable and now I’m going to Etsy to see if there are any knockoffs yet…

    • Anonymous

      The red whale bag WILL BE MINE. 

    • http://twitter.com/megelizah Megan Howard

      Oh man. If they made these for grown-ups I’d be all over that. Also, wallets for kids? KIDS DON’T HAVE CARDS! Although the ones whose parents would buy them this probably already have access to a credit card and their dad’s business card a la The Nanny Diaries, so scratch that.
      (I’m really not wanting to sound too bitter, but after all the grief and self-imposed suffering I’ve put myself through in the name of fashion it makes me want to scream that kids like that probably will never learn, and will never have to learn, the value of money.)

    • Anonymous

      They also have a pug key chain that I covet with every fiber of my being!

    • http://profiles.google.com/yifatshaik Yifat Shaik

      I kinda want some of those stuff for my self

    • Cathy S

      Child accessories, my ass! I want some!

    • sweetlilvoice

      Love.

    • http://angryfemur.tumblr.com Andrea Lane

      Confession: I like the fish purse.

    • Anonymous

      My 2 year old has more fun with the little bag I got from snaptotes.com with pictures of our dogs on it!