Girl, That’s Not Your Dress: Noomi Rapace

Posted on December 09, 2011

We’ve never had to do two of these in one day, but we think you’ll agree this was an emergency.

Because, Girl?

Noomi Rapace in Carolina HerreraNoomi Rapace attends the “Sherlock Holmes: A Game of Shadows” European Premiere in a Carolina Herrera gown.

Noomi Rapace in Carolina HerreraCarolina Herrera Resort 2012 Collection

Noomi Rapace in Carolina Herrera

Noomi Rapace in Carolina Herrera

THAT IS NOT YOUR DRESS.

Frankly we’re not sure whose dress it is, but we think it’s a safe bet that she works in a circus, whoever she is.

[Photo Credit: Landmark/PR Photos, style.com]

Tags: , ,

  • Anna Maria Diamanti

    I love the idea of this dress, but the polka dots need to be smaller. Plus the bodice is so sloppy. It looks like a 2nd grader’s construction paper project.

    • http://www.wordydoodles.com WordyDoodles

      Yes- the construction is so bad it surprises me that it’s Carolina Herrera.

  • Anonymous

    I actually like the dress itself, but not on her. You need curves up top for that dress, both at the waistline and bust. She doesn’t have them. It looks flat and one dimensional.

  • http://pulse.yahoo.com/_2VBWWGHZEBKTVQMXE5SO5NCU2I Mich

    i dont know who could pull this dress off, but i like that she’s at least trying something different.

    • Anonymous

      If you chopped it off at the knee, maybe Kiki, or Diane Kruger? Or even Hailee Steinfeld? But you have to chop it.

      • http://twitter.com/cornekopia Shawn EH

        Nicole Kidman. With her hair up. You need to be tall.

  • http://twitter.com/ILikeShiny Cindi Williams

    Is this dress Carolina Herrera’s entry for the stilt-walker challenge on PR?

    • Anna Maria Diamanti

      No, it’s Mondo’s. :)

    • BuffaloBarbara

      I thought maybe it was from the circus challenge that got Miss Anthony booted.

    • Anonymous

      My first thought exactly!

  • Anonymous

    “Frankly we’re not sure whose dress it is,”  That’s totally what I was thinking when I looked at it. Who could actually wear that and pull it off?

    • Anna Maria Diamanti

      Tilda Swinton
      Gaga
      maybe Cate Blanchett

      • Anonymous

        Katy Perry?

        • Anonymous

          first (and last) person that came to mind!

      • Anonymous

        Glad I’m not the only one who thought the SWINTON could pull it off. But I’m pleased to think she wouldn’t try.

        • Joseph Lamour

          Can we please refer to her as “the SWINTON” from now on? its like shes a fashion superhero. who better?

      • Anonymous

        I’ll give you Gaga. I don’t think it’d work with Tilda or Cate.

    • Anonymous

      It should be pulled off: pulled off of every hanger and cut up for scraps. Just when I was starting to like  Carolina Herrera, she goes and pulls this.

    • BuffaloBarbara

      And why would they want to?

    • Warmheartedgirl Seattle

      Heidi.

    • Sarah Thomas

      Said it above, will say it again…Helena Bonham Carter

  • http://opinionandamovie.blogspot.com/ Deitra S.

    Damn!  That girl is PINT-sized.  If it makes her look like an enormous box, then you know it won’t do anyone else any favors.  Yikes! And, I’m sorry, but what is that hair? Did she even wash?

  • http://twitter.com/LianaBrooks Liana Brooks

    You know the scene in the old Disney Robin Hood where everyone is running through the tents at the archery tournament? I think that’s where this dress comes from. She ran through a row of circus tents until something finally stuck. Then she ran straight to the RC. It’s obvious, just look at that hair!

  • Anonymous

    CIRCUS was precisely what I concluded, too, even before I scrolled to your comments.  Otherwise, hmmmm, sports umpire who’s trying to be daring?  Naw.  NO ONE should wear this awning and outdoor furniture fabric as part of a garment.

  • http://www.facebook.com/prettymuchalltheway Kat Schnepp

    put that shit on florence welch immediately

    • http://twitter.com/lbcubbison Laurie Cubbison

       That’s exactly who I was thinking of!

  • Anonymous

    Girl, I got a clown here on the phone – it wants it’s dress back or there’s gonna be major trouble up in here….

  • http://wineandwhiskeygirl.blogspot.com Amanda Semrick

    Hoo boy, that’s awful.

    As is any dress that makes you look like a painted cardboard cylinder.

  • Anonymous

    It’s not the model’s dress either. It evokes Mondo, but Mondo’s got it all over Carolina for this one.

  • Anonymous

    it’s helena bonham carter’s dress!

    love me some noomi, tho ~ i hope she shows out next time lol!

    • Anonymous

      I was going to say, a circus performer, or the Bride of Beetlejuice.

      I don’t like the dress much anyway, but to pull it off you *must* be 6 feet tall and rail thin. It’s the only way it could even vaguely work.

    • BuffaloBarbara

      I can see HBC trying it, but she’s too short for the skirt.

      • http://twitter.com/NC_Meg Megan

        She’d have it shortened and possibly gathered. I can see that working on her.

  • foodycat

    If the bodice was properly fitted it would be better, but she looks like she has a big bulge on the right side of her torso. 

  • Anonymous

    Beetlejuice, Beetlejuice, Beetlejuice!

    • http://twitter.com/delysia_lafosse Delysia LaFosse

      LOL, my thoughts exactly!

  • Sobaika Mirza

    It belongs to MIA

    • Anonymous

      I can see her wearing it I think.

  • http://profiles.google.com/thisiscelia Celia

    This must be the only Carolina Herrera dress that Renee Zellwegger wouldn’t wear. Yikes.

  • Anonymous

    Maybe Sra. Herrera designed it for the octogenarian who can only see big patterns. You know who you are, Mom.

    • Anonymous

      Snorted my coffee when I read this!

      • Anonymous

        Hope your nasal passages have recovered. ;)  Warning: I referenced my mom in the Dianna Agron post too.

    • Anonymous

      Like X1000

  • Anonymous

    Is there any particular reason your posts are not viewable on Google Reader? It was possible for a few glorious hours earlier, but alas it is back to the way it was now.

  • Anonymous

    Aww. Look at her face. She knows it’s not her dress.

  • http://pulse.yahoo.com/_IHWCJIMARF4OOW6PQZQS3RFOOA JillK

    That’s Katy Perry’s dress.

  • http://www.facebook.com/dalca4 Denise Alcantara

    Noomi, go and give this dress to Helena Bonham Carter.  Only that dame can work crazy like that.

    • Anonymous

      Oh yeah, HBC would work some crazy magic on that.

  • Anonymous

    It’s like Liz Lemon had to go to a premiere at the last minute so she had to wear a wacky dress acquired in a wacky way. I love Liz Lemon, but I do not want to go to there.

    • http://pulse.yahoo.com/_6RS6NLL44AED3E4QWIYTDQGU6I Psy_Chick

      I was thinking that Tina Fey would wear this dress. But it also would not be her dress.

    • MilaXX

      She does look like Liz lemon here.

    • charlotte

      Lisbeth Lemon!

  • Sara__B

    Maybe with a belt to give her shape some definition? And better hair and makeup? I applaud her effort to do something different, but this isn’t working for her. She’s got our attention, but for all the wrong reasons.

  • Anonymous

    Now, now, let’s be fair, that isn’t any girl’s dress unless said girl is a ringmaster or attending a ball for mimes.

  • Anonymous

    Whoa…. I thought that was Tina Fey. I was so sure I re-read the caption three times. Wow. Noomi, listen to your gay uncles!

  • Anonymous

    reject from PR’s stilt-walker challenge?

  • Anonymous

    I don’t know, I kind of like it.

    • MilaXX

      I like it too, it’s just a tricky dress to wear.

  • Anonymous

    I’m amazed by how perfectly straight the stripes are in that first picture.  Makes me want to go write cursive sideways.

  • Anonymous

    All I hear is carnival music. Noomi, I adore you as an actress and you are pretty and petite but you need to fire your stylist. Dayum.

  • Anonymous

    This is, once again, a styling issue.  Her face and hair say, “Party in Vegas!” but the dress is, “Art Exhibit in high end New York condo.”  I would tie back the hair, add ruby dangling earrings, and a cool vintage beaded clutch.

  • Anonymous

    Good lord, that dress looks like a toilet-paper-tube art project by a sixth grader. Totally unflattering, it makes her body look like a tube sock.

  • Anonymous

    Good lord, that dress looks like a toilet-paper-tube art project by a sixth grader. Totally unflattering, it makes her body look like a tube sock.

  • Anonymous

    LOL. Before I’d scrolled down to see the end of the post, I’d said to myself, “I don’t think that’s anyone’s dress.” Great minds!

  • Anonymous

    LOL. Before I’d scrolled down to see the end of the post, I’d said to myself, “I don’t think that’s anyone’s dress.” Great minds!

  • Rachel Long

    the seaming on the polkadots makes me sad. seriously, Carolina Herrera can’t make the polkadots line up???

  • Rachel Long

    the seaming on the polkadots makes me sad. seriously, Carolina Herrera can’t make the polkadots line up???

  • Anonymous

    Wow. At first I thought this was Tina Fey in a comedy skit. 

  • Anonymous

    Wow. At first I thought this was Tina Fey in a comedy skit. 

  • Anonymous

    I rather like the vertical stripes, but hate the bodice…especially the polka dots.  This woman definitely does not have the presence, or height, to pull off wearing this dress. 

    • Anonymous

      Yes. I believe height is a key word here.

  • http://profiles.google.com/claudiaberry Claudia Berry

    She is gorgeous and this dress is so not her!

  • http://pulse.yahoo.com/_3AJ237ND3GAHDQJZ4TLCO4WLRA Emily

    I like the dress, but her hair is terrible.

  • Stefanos Mantyla

    That bodice looks like it is made out of cardboard! Those polka-dots are not even round!

  • Joyce VG

    I know riiight? Poor thing.

  • http://twitter.com/DarthJaeda Jaeda Laurez

    I just sang a circus theme in my head when I saw it lmaooooooo- 

    God, this dress is awful- I can hardly believe it’s a CH dress; it looks like something that would get you auf’d on Project Runway.

    • Anonymous

      “It’s great; it’s terrific; it’s the best show on earth.”

  • Judy_J

    I generally have no problem with bold graphics in black and white, but this dress is making my eyes twitch.  It is a gown one would wear to the circus prom.

  • Anonymous

    DId someone have a sale on awning fabric? Too bad, as the bodice is terrific, and it fits her well. 

  • http://democracydiva.com/ Democracy Diva

    As soon as I saw the photo, I was all, TLo, I don’t think that’s ANYBODY’s dress, but as usual, you said it better than I could. :)

  • Anonymous

    Gwen Stefani. It’s her dress. Give it back now.

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=1248212910 Jessie Melcher Brown

    Beatlejuice’s sister?
     

  • Anonymous

    I’m certainly no expert, but isn’t the general rule of thumb that if you’re going to mix patterns, they should be of a different scale?

    No, I don’t think this is anyone’s dress. I was pretty surprised to see it is a Carolina Herrera. This is what happens when she leaves her wheelhouse and enters the fun house.

  • Anonymous

    Iman could werq it. Maybe. Probably.

    • Anonymous

      She wouldn’t condescend to try. She’d hate this.

  • Anonymous

    Looks like it’s made out of awning material.

  • Anonymous

    Oh darlings, it’s obviously an Atwood dress, picked by Mr. Burton for Ms. Bonham Carter.

    Notice that this whoever-she-is was nowhere in the previous sentence.

  • Anonymous

    Katy Perry’s, when she decides to go a step up in sophistication.

  • MilaXX

    That dress requires a red lip, fierce hair and attitude for days. Ms. Rapace here fails on all counts. This is a Zoe Saldana or maybe even a Rhianna dress.

    • Anonymous

      Yes. Definitely Rihanna.

  • Anonymous

    i think she doesnt like taking red carpets seriously so was attempting to throw some sardonic whimsy into the proceedings. maybe? cos she isnt dumb. & of all the things she was offered this one seemed to have the most promise. then when she got it & put it on she realized it doesnt actually work. on her, on anyone. you can tell by her face.

    the real thing that amazes me is that it was made by carolina herrera. of all people.

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Emily-Smith/12431153 Emily Smith

    kill it!  kill it with fire!

  • Anonymous

    I think the dress looks great on the model. It does not suit this starlet (whoever she is) but I don’t hate it as much as you do.

  • Anonymous

    Girl, that is also not your hairdo.

  • Anonymous

    Girl, that is also not your hairdo.

  • http://twitter.com/Blythington_III Blythe Irish

    That’s Helena’s dress all the way. 

    • Anonymous

      Too clean-lined for HBC. I wonder how it would have looked on the SWINTON. However, I don’t think it’s something she’d wear, and I’m very happy to say that.

  • Anonymous

    I think the circles need some chest under them to give them another dimension. I bet that dress’d look good on … ME!!!

  • Anonymous

    I don’t think it’s so wacky. You need more of waist, so you don’t look like a box, and you need an up do, not a stringy hairstyle. Then you look weirdly elegant, instead of just weird.

  • Anonymous

    That would’ve been a great dress for Project Runway’s stilts challenge.

  • taodon

    Cirque du So Lame

  • http://twitter.com/anacedillo Ana Cedillo

    hahaha i was just going to say, i cant really figure out whose dress this is, but yeah not hers! someone edgier and as small as possible (the big polka dots), like maybe MAYBE michelle williams if she got a tan or put some color on her lips and face, or maybe in even rihanna? just not her

  • Anonymous

    This dress should be banned. Horrid. Stripes and dots can work, but not like this.

  • http://www.facebook.com/amy.ennis Amy LeBaron Ennis

    That dress needs to go back to Helena Bonham Carter STAT!!! I can so see it on her. She would look divinely cooky in it. 

  • Anonymous

    IMAN CAN MAKE ANYTHING LOOK GOOD :D

  • Anonymous

    I was thinking it looked like the Project Runway circus challenge.  ESOSA would have been better!

  • http://www.facebook.com/fiddlecub Kevin VanOrd

    Can someone explain to me why the polka dots were made this way? The top seems to be created with panels, and the circles stretch outside the boundaries of those panels–yet the edges don’t match up. I don’t think that the dress would have been a great one even with the dots implemented well, but on top of it all, it just looks sloppy. It is the exact same issue on the runway. I just don’t get the thought process. “Let’s do huge polka dots, but let’s not line them up properly across seams, and make it look like the white paint got smudged. People will LOVE it!”

  • Anonymous

    Ooooo, this is no one’s dress.

  • Anonymous

    Maybe with a belt? But not on Noomi.

  • Anonymous

    hm, i like the dress.

  • Anonymous

    This thing would’ve won the stiltwalker challenge, hands down.

    • Anonymous

      bah remind me to read the comments before posting!

    • http://www.facebook.com/charlotte.horseman Charlotte Horseman

      Oh yeah…. sometimes in my nightmares, I still see them lurching at me.

  • http://www.facebook.com/chloe.stabler Chloe Stabler

    Haha I totally agree with that last statement.  When I first saw the dress, I couldn’t quite think of whose dress it was, either.  Still can’t.

  • Anonymous

    Huh. I kind of like the dress. It’s cool on the model, but the bodice is all wonky and stiff and ill fitting on this Noomi person. Of course, I have a thing for black and white combos and I do love a vertical stripe. I know…what can I say.

  • http://twitter.com/ericibid eric

    With the right hair, right makeup, right bag, Helena Bonham Carter could have sold this dress without even batting an eye. 100%. But it would have to be “classic” HBC hair and the bag carried with it would have to be immaculate. Good news, though: HBC could make it work, even while working in a circus.

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=1046681022 Paula Berman

    This woman Noomi looks like the woman who played Ellyn on thirtysomething.  How’s that for a semi-obscure reference?

    • Anonymous

      I thought exactly the same thing!  Polly Draper! We are showing our age, aren’t we?

  • Anonymous

    Helena Bonham Carter’s dress

  • Anonymous

    Heh, heh, heh…!

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Ebba-Svantesson/1750647220 Ebba Svantesson

    I like that on her! But the hair? Are you covering the Nobelprize party?

  • http://heartprintandstyle.blogspot.com Vivi N

    It’s a pretty ugly dress, period. So…this is NO ONE’S dress. 

  • Anonymous

    I love the visual impact of the dress. But to carry it off, it would help to be extremely tall and extremely thin and to have a completely flat chest and killer posture.  You’d also have to give a shit about how your hair looked.

    • http://www.facebook.com/charlotte.horseman Charlotte Horseman

      You nailed that, Infor!!

    • Anonymous

      You are spot on!

    • Anonymous

      I completely agree.  I commented before I read your comments.  I like the dress but girl needs to be tall, tall, thin, thin and WEAR A BELT.  Nicole Kidman as a redhead would be killer in this with great earrings.

  • Anonymous

    Horrible stripes and polka dots aside, the stiffness of that bodice reminds me of that horrible white dress Juliana Margulies wore to a fairly recent awards show. Possibly the least flattering bodice ever and this one ranks right up (down) there.

  • http://pulse.yahoo.com/_66KPZ36LMHMRQOX3HIJGHRNNUA MandyM

    I agree. I am not sure that’s anyone’s dress.

  • Anonymous

    I dunno , It has kind of a Tim Burton quality to it. Maybe Christina Ricci or Helena Bonham Carter? Dita Von Teese?

  • Anonymous

    If she wore hoopskirts, she could house all of the Occupy Ringling Brothers in her dress.

    • Anonymous

      That was funny! I should really have learned by now NOT to drink coffee while reading T-Lo; the comments section can be as hazardous as the instigating articles. I still like the dress, but that was funny!

  • P M

    Erm, that’s not anybody’s dress. Well, maybe Helena Bonham-Carter’s, but that’s another story. 

  • Anonymous

    I thought there wasn’t a Carolina Herrara gown out there that I didn’t love… bet here it is… and being worn by Lisbeth Salander to boot!!  I despair!

  • http://twitter.com/pelto Elsbeth Jane

    That is Helena Bonham Carter’s dress right there.

  • Anonymous

    That is not her hair as well.

  • http://www.facebook.com/winston.stone Winston Stone

    Thats the problem, it’s shapeless and it’s fighting with itself.  I fear it’s no one’s dress, really. 

  • http://profiles.google.com/shannonlstewart Shannon Stewart

    The top isn’t stark enough, and the bottom should have been set with the stripes on the diagonal. 

  • http://twitter.com/ninbats Jane Bailey

    Helena Bonham Carter…

  • Anonymous

    That is the ugliest Carolina Herrera dress I’ve ever seen. I can’t see that looking good on anyone.

  • Anonymous

    WTF was that???!!!!!!  Formal jail attire?

  • Anonymous

    she is doing the Euro “I dont own a hair dryer” bit that drives me crazy!  Put in effort!  Loved her in the GWADT series!

  • http://twitter.com/mellafe natalia h

    Beetlejuice

  • Anonymous

    Why are the dots off-white while the stripes are white? Is it the fabric or is this dress intentionally making me twitch? I don’t like her Crazy Tyra hair either. 

  • http://contemporarycontempt.wordpress.com/ Rachel

    NIGHT CIRCUS!!!

  • Lisa

    It’s that brand new sitcom, “Everybody Wants to Be Mondo”!  Yeah, this isn’t good – not on her and not on the model.

  • http://pulse.yahoo.com/_2CNDPMVO4W23R5TVC2QMTJ5BZE Heather

    She looks like Tina Fey!

  • Anonymous

    This is not only not HER dress, it’s not ANYONE’S dress.  It hardly looks like a Carolina Herrera dress. 

  • Anonymous

    Helena Bonham Carter?

  • Anonymous

    well I love it!

  • Anonymous

    “Tlo said: THAT IS NOT YOUR DRESS.Frankly we’re not sure whose dress it is, but we think it’s a safe bet that she works in a circus, whoever she is.”

    Speaking as someone who’s worked in a circus, I’d like to speak for my tanbark treading sisterhood and say, no, not even in a circus.
    Frankly, I don’t know how Carolina Herrera stays in business. Everything she does is matronly, tacky and unflattering. That dress looks like it should have been red, white & blue and the wearer twirling batons in a dinner theatre production of ‘George M’.

    –GothamTomato

  • Anonymous

    I agree. I don’t think this is anyone’s dress who isn’t employed by Barnum & Bailey.

  • Tiffany Wu

    One of Chloe Sevigny’s alter-egos.

  • Anonymous

    what a pity

  • Anonymous

    When did Noomi Rapace turn into Tina Fey?

  • Now I am The Bee

    This is no one’s dress. 

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=1177755257 Lisa Weaver

    Beetlejuice!

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Jessica-TallGirl-Freeman/1043623567 Jessica TallGirl Freeman

    I actually liked it on the model…but i think she lost too much shape in the bodice.  She looks a little like Tina Fey…no?

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Karen-Stephens-Bassett/1503492602 Karen Stephens Bassett

    I have a sad.

  • Anonymous

    When I put my fingers up to the model’s pic to blot out the four circles of hell and just pretend it’s a solid black bodice it works better. Barely.  This is definitely a WTF Moment.

  • Anonymous

    DEFINITELY an emergency.
    That thing doesn’t even work on the model.

  • Anonymous

    I love HBC too much to give her this dress, but I would like to see what Lady Gaga would do with it.

    Noomi is no bigger than a minute. The person who put her in this dress (which makes her look huge) should hang their head in shame.
     

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=2254843 Kara Lang Guminski

    She looks PISSED.

  • Sarah Thomas

    That is Helena Bonham Carter’s dress. Bar none.

  • Ruth Gottesman

    Is it just me or does the white on the bodice not match the white on the skirt? Just a deeply odd dress.

  • Anonymous

    Regardless of who wears that dress, it 100% needs a belt and you had better have a teeny, tiny waist.  Actually, I could see Nicole Kidman in this.  Tall, thin, contrast the hair color.  Really, tall, uber thin is the only way this is going to work.  And with a belt.

  • Anonymous

    It’s like a female Beetlejuice.

  • Anonymous

    This reminds me of the stilt-walker challenge in the last season of PR.

  • http://www.facebook.com/heatrush Heather Rushworth

    Those bangs, that haircut, screams SUICIDAL.