Girl, That’s Not Your Dress: Miley Cyrus in Jenny Packham

Posted on December 12, 2011

Textbook example coming your way, bitches:

 

Miley Cyrus in Jenny PackhamMiley Cyrus attends the 2011 American Giving Awards in LA in a Jenny Packham dress paired with Loree Rodkin jewelry.

Miley Cyrus in Jenny PackhamJenny Packham Fall 2011 Collection

Miley Cyrus in Jenny Packham

Miley Cyrus in Jenny Packham

Miley Cyrus in Jenny Packham

This is a super-pretty dress. We don’t love these sorts of colorless gowns but when someone gets it right, we can’t hold a grudge. Love the sparkle and drape in the neckline. But girl? This is totally a grownup lady dress and you are way too young be wearing something like this with your hair all slicked back like you’re in a Revlon ad.  You’re nineteen, for shit’s sake. Why are you dressing like you’re here to pick up your Lifetime Achievement Award? Why does your dress say “I still got it” when in fact you just “got it” all of about ten minutes ago?

Besides, even if we thought the dress was style-appropriate, it’s still the wrong dress for you, girl. This dress was designed for those less blessed than yourself in the boob department. Set this dress free to find some skinny actress in her late ’30s with something to prove. You need something with a little more edge than this.

And new hair. You desperately need that.

[Photo Credit: Andrew Evans/PR Photos, elle.com]

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