Victoria’s Secret Extravaganza Part 2

Posted on November 10, 2011

Second verse, same as the first, y’all. Hit it, drag queens!

We can’t tell if she’s supposed to be the Goddess of Bathrooms or the Patron Saint of Upskirts.

Oh, Grandma. You and your doilies and cameos and black satin panties. You always make Thanksgiving so interesting. We’re gonna miss you when you’re dead.

Wait. Let us guess. There’s a “U,” two “S’s” and a “Y” later on in the show, right?

For the guys out there who thought the velociraptors in Jurassic Park were kind of hot.

For the guys who get woodies during Shark Week.


The wings are too small this year. She doesn’t look like the winged stripper we know and expect from Victoria’s Secret. She just looks like some girl who dresses weird and has a big-ass bug on her back.

 


You’re DAMN RIGHT you’re INCREDIBLE, girl! Sell it with confidence, we say. Everyone should have a superhero cape that says “INCREDIBLE” on it, don’t you think? Very handy for job interviews. Now go join your compatriots in the Justice League of Thigh-Highs. The Legion of Boob is gathering their dark forces!


For the guys who shift uncomfortably in their seats when they watch nature documentaries about bats.


For the guys who think cheerleader outfits are too demure.


Mrs. Neptune? We don’t mean to alarm you but your tits and vagina seem to be dissolving.


Neptune’s ex-wife is mysteriously pleased at the sight.


For colorblind guys.


For pedophiles.

POW! LOVE IT! When gays take over the world, this is what our armed forces will look like!

Uh-oh. Neptune’s mistress just showed up. This is like an underwater version of The Women.


The proposed waitstaff uniforms for the soon-to-be-announced Chili’s and Hooter’s merger, tentatively named “Chili Hooters.”

That is one scary-looking demon stripper.

It’s Keychain Lass! Scourge of the Underworld!


And Lipstick Lady! Deliverer of Glossy Justice!

Watch out, Justice Leaguers! Venus de Flytrap is here and she’s gonna start cutting dicks off any second!

Not a fucking clue what we’re looking at here but the face in her stomach is freaking us out.


You pop that hip, honey! But your wings look like dog ears and your “dress” looks like it was made out of old “Star Wars” sheets.

“Colors are like, so confusing!”

[Photo Credit: Getty]

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