Pairs Division: Jacobs and Beckham

Posted on November 29, 2011

Suck in your cheeks and push out your lips, girls!

Marc Jacobs and Victoria Beckham attend the British Fashion Awards 2011 in London, where she won the Designer Brand of the Year 2011 Award.

Victoria Beckham Fall 2011 collection/Model: Jeneil Williams

Look at this joyous pair. Full of nothing but cheer and good will, aren’t they? Really selling the idea that fashion is a fun and creative endeavor. Christ, lady, you just won a pretty damn significant award. You can’t pull back the corners of your mouth just a little bit more than that?

It doesn’t really seem fair to score these two, since they’re both award-winning fashion designers and generally considered to be among the most stylish and chic people in the world. Rather than break things down (because there’s so little to break down), we’ll just say this: They both look chic and impeccable, but we’re not crazy about her hair and (we can’t believe we’re about to type this) Marc Jacobs needs to take a half inch off his pants hem.

Also, you could have picked a sassier clutch than that, Marc.

Combined Score: 9/10, with a point taken off for being such sour bitches.

[Photo Credit: Tim Whitby/Getty Images,]

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    • Judy_J

      Gosh, those smiles just light up the room, don’t they?

    • Jessica TallGirl Freeman

      I actually wished she would have kept the dress in yellow.  But, I think she reached her colored clothes requirement a few months ago.  Tlo, don’t you get it? She IS smiling.  

      • Terence Ng

        With all her might. Unfortunately, botulism toxin is stronger.

    • Anonymous

      Great, that first line of your post made me think of “The French Mistake” from “Blazing Saddles,” and now it is stuck in my head!!

      Their glares are kind of funny. They look like they are playing hit-people in some action caper called “Fashion Assassins.”

      • Trish Barker

        I would watch the hell out of “Fashion Assassins” starring Vicky Beckham.

        • Anonymous

          OMG me too. Especially if Zoolander and his pals guest-starred in it, Blue Steel-ing all the way.

        • Manggy

          Starring Vicky Beckham as Midnight Miss Suki!
          * (love that song!)

        • Anonymous


      • Anonymous

        Now that I’d watch.

    • Arjay Gallo

      They look. SO UPSET. I’m so sorry, fashionable Gomez and Morticia.

      • Now I am The Bee

        Oh I don’t know.  Gomez and Morticia had much more joy than these two sourpusses. 

    • Shannon Stewart

      Well, she gets a pass for the glower because she HATES her smile, and I understand that.  I feel the same about mine.

      But why’s Marc Jacobs so grumpy?

      • Anonymous

        I hate mine too so I completely sympathise.

      • Bridget Smith

        I too hate how I look when I smile. But one of the most charming things about the unexpectedly charming Spice World movie was seeing how stunning her smile actually is. I didn’t notice until I rewatched the movie recently, but there’s one scene where she’s laughing, and before she manages to hide her face, she just looks ADORABLE.

        So while I get it, I really wish she’d smile more.

        • Shannon Stewart

          BTW, THANK YOU BOTH!!!  I have this running argument with my husband as he’s constantly trying to take pictures of me when I’m laughing and they always come out with me looking like a gargoyle!  I’m totally showing him these comments as back-up that other people don’t like theirs either:)

          • Bridget Smith

            Heh, I just always hate the way I look in photos, so I’ve given up and realized I can at least look happy.

          • Anonymous

            I have the reverse problem. I love my smile. But when I’m not smiling – which is what, 95% of the time? – random concerned people come up to me and ask me if I’m okay. 

            • Andrea Lentz

              people ask me if I’m ok all the time too! “Are you mad? what’s wrong” NO THIS IS JUST WHAT MY FACE LOOKS LIKE. So i try to smile a lot and probably look like a grinning fool.

      • Terence Ng

        I hate her smile, too. Just kidding.

        I looked up her smile and even if she doesn’t look as polished as she does giving Blue Steel, she looks delightfully happy and pleasant and warm, all key requirements for a smile.

        I don’t ADORE my own smile, but I have found different ones I like, and I’ve come to love my smile anyway compared to the manufactured wins I threw to a photo back in my self-conscious period. Ultimately, I’ve found that enjoying myself and capturing the natural expressiveness of the moment is more important than whether I pull a double chin or I show too much gum or something.

        • Shannon Stewart

          My face is VERY hard to photograph well, sadly.  When it’s hit just right, the photo is fantastic.  Anything else and it’s HORRIFYINGLY bad!  I have a really long jaw, crooked teeth and very white skin (which means my face loses all definition if not hit justso with the light:)

          • LocMama

            I believe I may have spotted a photo of you elsewhere & if that was indeed you it is true that we are our own harshest critic.  

            • Shannon Stewart

              Oh probably not… there are a lot of Shannon Stewart’s in the world.  One of them posed for Playboy, so it might have been her:) 

          • Anonymous

            While I tend to think we all are too hard on ourselves, I’ll at least concede that you *might* be right. I have a friend (now in her 60’s) who is “above average” to “downright attractive” in real life, but who photographs 15-20 years older than her age and from a bad angle can look like an elderly Julia Child following remarkable rehabilitation from a serious stroke. 

            • Anonymous

              That’s a very close description of how I look in the lousy photo taken on my cell phone with me holding my newest grandbaby in the NICU yesterday. And although you didn’t ask 😉 he is doing very well, and now weighs 4 ½ pounds, at 3 weeks old, still very young (34 weeks), and might go home within the next 10 days. And might I add, he’s simply adorable.

              Please excuse the simpering digression.

            • Anonymous

              Fortunately, when there’s a tiny baby in the photo, nobody’s looking at the person holding him! Congratulations on his progress!

        • Anonymous

          I googled “Victoria Beckham smiling” after reading all of these – she looks so adorable!!  Wish she would try to be less perfect and let herself smile at events.

          • Anonymous

            I agree; she looks so pretty when she smiles. Silly woman. She looks like THAT and she’s nitpicking her own looks. Nobody’s ever happy with what they have.

        • Anonymous

          So I just googled her smiling too and she has a lovely natural smile. Her forced posed smile does appear a bit forced. And posed.

      • Anonymous

        I hate my smile as well but I hate everyone thinking I am an asshole even more.  So I smile for photographs and then grimace at home later.

        • Anonymous

          I bet it’s no where near as bad as you think.

        • Shannon Stewart

          I just ban public photos of me instead — I have been known to call family members and threaten to air all their dirty secrets if they don’t take my photo off Facebook.  And since I’m relentlessly nosy, I could do it too, mwha ha ha…

    • BerlinerNYC

      Wasn’t it Marc Jacobs who, back in the day, complained about Posh showing up to events in his clothes, so he yelled at his assistants to stop sending her clothes, and they replied that there was nothing they could do, since she was actually buying them? I love that story, even if it’s apocryphal, and even if I can’t be 100% sure who the designer was.

      • Sobaika Mirza

        That might explain his dour expression.

      • Beth M.

        Actually, I think that was Roland Mouret. I love the story too, I hope it’s true.

        • BerlinerNYC

          Thank you! I couldn’t figure out how to search for that on google, nor remember where I read it in the first place (NY Times?), but it was wonderfully catty. I love the idea that the designer is suddenly powerless in the face of a rich-ass celebrity willing to just shell out to buy retail.

    • Jane Morris

      Maybe they need to remove gluten from their diet.

    • Anonymous

      I like Vicki’s dress better in the screaming yellow tea length.

    • Anonymous

      She’s young, rich, fit, stylish, and successful.  So, why does it always look like she just ate a lemon?

    •!/Space_Kitty Space Kitty


      Anyway, I don’t love the Rachel Zoe length, but I’ve got to admit that dress is chic.

      • Anonymous

        “the Rachel Zoe length” I’m going to use that one from now on! :)

    • Verena Hafner

      Aw, come on! MJ is allowed to be a sour bitch. First his collection gets stolen in Paris, then his LV collection gets stolen at the airport… Btw, I love her hair. It’s cute.

      • Anonymous

        I like her hair too!  Super cute.

    • Anonymous

      Pretty conservative looks…especially for Mark.  They both look good, but I expect more. 

      Is that a clutch that Vicki is holding? It looks interesting…about the most interesting thing I see in this set.  If it’s not a clutch…well…it’s still the most interesting…. 😉

      • shawna ready

        I think that’s the award she just won….

    • Kalisa Hyman

      why are they both having so much trouble standing up straight? They look like they have infectious cases of scoliosis. 

      • Kate Pearce

        drunk maybe? I wish, :)

    • SKS

      Victoria said a LONG time ago (when the Spice Girls were active) that she thinks she looks funny when she smiles and therefore doesn’t do it too often.  (She may have also said this in her autobiography “Learning to Fly”.  And yes, Spice Girls fan for life here.)

    • Anonymous

      Marc’s posture is truly terrible, and he looks NOTHING like the photo they used in his cologne ad campaign, where he was naked, covered in baby oil and had his legs spread wide open.

      Posh Spice is damn posh, I will give her that. She does have excellent taste and knows how to dress herself.

    • Shona S

      I think Mrs. Beckham never smiles in photos because she feels her life is just one big editorial. Granted, the idea’s not that far off.

      • Anonymous

        You know, honestly, if that’s true, it almost kinda makes me hate her. You worked hard to get to that point, and you’re going to go around being all Sour Puss n Boots because you made it and it’s just so tiring, dahling? Ugh, cubed.

        • Anonymous

          she smiled when she used to be pop tart, what happened? Is being rich, thin, and married to a hot rich guy that fucking miserable?

          • Anonymous

            After enough years of being chronically hungry and having to be perfectly turned out every time you walk your dog I imagine it would wear on you.

    • Anonymous

      Does her clutch double as a weight lifting device? (OK, maybe I am a little jealous of her guns.) 

      • Anonymous

        I think that is the award, not a clutch.  I thought the same thing at first glance, very chic clutch.  As an award, eh.

    • Anonymous

      wear ‘n tear. right there.

    • Anonymous

      She looks very chic, even though her dress is too long.  They both look utterly miserable, however, which doesn’t do much for their brands.  We don’t need a huge, shiny swath of teeth, people, but just the faintest uplifting of the lips would have been welcome.

      Her clutch:  Gorgeous!  I would buy that bag if I could even begin to afford it.
      His clutch:  Call me an old prig, but I will never get used to a man carrying a clutch purse. He can carry something else, but he cannot carry the exact same little bag tht my grandmother carried to my grandfather’s funeral. I’m sorry. But no.

    • MilaXX

      Also, you could have picked a sassier clutch than that, Marc.
      Hee! funny but true

      These two look great a smile of some sort would have been nice

    • Anonymous

      Her little purse looks like one of my dog’s favorite chew toys. That murse he’s carrying gives me the giggles. I wish it had had the same effect on either one of them.

      • Anonymous

        I think that might be the award she won.  i could be wrong but the way she is holding it looks more “trophy” than “clutch”.

        • Anonymous

          I think you may be right.

    • Lucia Kmaid

      Is Marc carrying his toiletries in that bag?
      It looks like a toiletry bag to me…

      • Anonymous

        YES!  That’s it.  I kept looking at it and thinking it just looked so odd and out of place.  Because it should be on the back of the toilet in a guest bathroom, not in his hand at a formal function.

        • foodycat

          Maybe its got his insta-hem kit in it and he’s just ducking to the loo to deal with his pants?

          • Anonymous

            he wanted so badly to believe he was taller that he actually convinced himself of it & had them hem his pants too long. i am convinced of this, personally.

            • Anonymous

              That has the ring of truth, there.

    • Sara__B

      They need to learn to “smize” if they won’t risk marring their unlined perfection with actual smiles.

    • CQAussie

      Sour bitches is right!  So much prune going on in these photos!

      I think Vicks should have gone with the yellow runway version of the dress.  That might have perked her up as well as Marc =D 

    • Anonymous

      They are both so completely in love with themselves it’s sickening. It really irritates me that I love a lot of her designs.

    • Anonymous

      I always think she’s wearing Roland Mouret.

    • iCouture

      They both look chic here, and I have looked at other pictures from this event, and there were some  with Marc Jacobs actually smiling!!

      Also, I watched video of Vicky winning her award, she seems incredibly shy & soft spoken, but very sweet, she seemed soo nervous!

    • Kate Pearce

      I think she doesn’t smile because she doesn’t want all those lines… poor Becks.

    • Anonymous

      What is that white thing in her hand?  A purse?  A candlestick?  The award she just won?

    • Rachel Weiser

      That’s… that’s a purse? What does one fit in there? A tube of lipstick?

    • Anonymous

      Feel the warmth…. BRRRR……. LOL!  That man clutch of his is just stupid.  Really. it looks like something my Grandmother carried and she was NOT a stylish old woman.  And what the hell does a man need a clutch for in the evening anyway?  I know I really love having my “messenger bag” all day for the items I like to carry but for a formal event?  I don’t need to touch up my lips or eye reapply my eyeliner, it’s never “that time of the month”, I don’t get it.

    • Anonymous

      anyone else think the award looks like an over-designed dildo? o_O

      or purse or maybe an electric toothbrush case or whatever it is

    • Megan Sterling

      You know you are a T&Lo regular when you take one glance at a picture and think, oh no, those pants need to be hemmed!

    • Anonymous

      Happy, pretty people.

    • Anonymous

      Yeah, some kind of fun. This is the kind of fashion shot that turns people off to fashion. 

    • foodycat

      He’s Marc fucking Jacobs and he couldn’t find someone to hem his pants for him? That’s ridiculous. I really like her dress.

    • Anonymous

      She’s a bit lost in that dress, no? When the model fills it out better than you do, you’re in trouble!

    • Vickie Lord

      Bet they’re HUNGRY!  LOL

    • Ana Cedillo

      ohhh they look soo good together! idc what anyone says i really love
      vicky poshy boo, she is so beautiful and she looks beautiful and she
      looks pretty happy to me lol :)

    • Anonymous

      I read that she always presents this face because she doesn’t like the way she looks when she smiles.  Well, I don’t like the way she looks when she does this face.  So there.

    • Patrick Cleary

      I liked Marc Jacobs much more when he was heavy with weird glasses and stringy long hair. He’s so serious about being “hot” now.

      • Anonymous

        I’d venture that he cares more now because he can see the day coming when no amount of gym time, surgery or diet will buy him anything more than “he’s amazingly good looking – for his age.” It comes sooner to women, but everybody gets there, if they don’t die young.

    • Anonymous

      i take three or four points off for it looking much better, more courageous, even, in yellow.

    • Brian G. Cox

      That’s an award? I was wondering whether there was a Wii console somewhere on that red carpet.

    • Barbora

      Pretty, like Vicki´s dress, but you can smile little bit, buddies :)))

    • Anonymous

      Victoria? Victoria Beckham designer of the year COME ON! She doesn’t design any of the actual….oh designer BRAND of the year…Oh.
      Still bat shit crazy.

      • Anonymous

        Yeah, I was imagining they scored contenders with points for “in store display impact” and “attendance figures for non-events featuring celebrities in borrowed branded items (double points for members of the press and triple points for published photographers).”

    • Anonymous

      Is that white thing the award or her bag? Bags are getting do strange it’s hard to tell.

    • Phyllis Craine

      It’s a bit Gomez and Morticia for me

    • MandyM

      I wish she had worn the yellow.

    • Anonymous

      there we are with the pants again…SOMEONE please tell me what is it with men’s fashion..let’s assess the current trends:
      Pants that are too long
      Suits that are too tight and too short
      Shirts hanging out of the bottom of sweaters
      said sweaters are too short
      messy hair
      Scuffed shoes ( mismatching)

      Am I the only one who thinks something is a little screwy?

    • Anonymous

      Is that her award or clutch?

    • Anonymous

      it’s so odd…does she EVER smile?

    • Anonymous

      i have a feeling she feels the same way i do regarding her own smile – just does not photograph well. when i’m genuinely smiling, it just doesn’t look good. i bet she feels the same. that, and she has a BRAND to keep, people!! haha

    • Summer Born

      Look how he doesn’t have his hands in his pockets!!!! YOUNG MEN ON THE RED CARPET, TAKE NOTE.

      I also notice that he’s managing to put his arm around another person without unbuttoning his jacket, and it looks fine. That move is worth 1,000,000 points.

      See, TLo? I am as you have made me.

    • Usama Hamayun

      VICTORIA: Boring..ok i know black is her colour coz it feeds her persona of fierce royalty but it would hv been so much interesting in some joyful spring colour like the runway version.

    • bloodshothalfblind

      the yellow version on the model is stunning.  it seems posh has really found her calling.