Pairs Division: Hayek and Banderas

Posted on November 18, 2011

Most family-oriented big screen entertainment passes us right by. Except during the holidays, when stuff like the Shrek movies always seemed to be playing in someone’s family room while the grownups have cocktails, we’ve never really been exposed to most of it. And yet we laugh every time we see one of the ads for “Puss in Boots” and briefly imagine that we might actually sit in a theater to watch it. It must be a cat owner thing, because that frigging commercial for the movie about the animated penguins makes us run from the room screaming.

Anyway, we wanted to feature these two for a while as they make the rounds for the movie, but his outfits have been so infuriatingly bad – like, “running to the hardware store” bad – that we haven’t been able to work up the energy to yell at him. He put a modicum of effort in this time, so he finally gets the honor of our opinions.


Salma Hayek and Antonio Banderas attend the Premiere of “Puss In Boots” in Buenos Aires. Salma Hayek is wearing a Giambattista Valli dress.

Giambattista Valli Resort 2012 Collection

HE: Is working absolutely the right kind of look for him. The print shirt with a suit and no tie combo can go in many directions, not all of them good, but this looks chic, sexy, stylish, and age-appropriate on him. Our only issue is that the cut of the pants looks a bit old man; high-waisted and baggy. We’re not suggesting a skinny pant, but he could have done with some tailoring on the lower half. Score: 8/10, which is damn generous, considering the low effort involved.

SHE: Looks pretty, but we’re not loving that chain detail around her waist and the skirt is a bit too full on her lower half. It’s a pretty dress and she looks good, but it’s not as flattering as it could be. Hair and makeup are pretty and the shoes are KILLA. Score: 8.5/10.

Combined Score: 8.25/10. Well done, sultry cartoons.


[Photo Credit: Getty,]

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  • Haha, I just realized the spanish language title of Puss in Boots is GATO CON BOTAS. Somehow it loses some of its charm in the translation. I’d quibble the use of “con” instead of “en”, but that’s me. 
    The celebs? Eh, they look fine. 

    • Anonymous

      It does lose the rhyme, but believe me the name “gato con botas” is so familiar to every spanish speaking kid (or at least was, when TV was limited to a half hour after), you don’t have to worry about it being less resonant.  

      • Ah. I didn’t really get into a lot of Spanish nursery rhyme when I was little, I didn’t realize that was the actual translated title of the rhyme. 

    • Anonymous

      Little_Olive is right! “Gato con botas” is the historically fixed name of such character…
      not only that, but the preposition “en” (when referring to material objects or people) is normally used to signify your being “in” a place that can contain you WHOLE, such as rooms or buildings. 
      One could argue that clothes, in that sense, are considered literal ACCESORIES to the body, which is why we express their location with “con” which contains an idea of “company”.

  • Sultry cartoons. *snicker*
    Whoever modified the dress made great decisions. It looks great on her!

  • Anonymous

    Out of the three, I think Puss in Boots is the best dressed.  

  • If I cannot come back in my next lifetime as a well-loved housecat, can I come back as Penelope Cruz?

    • Ha! Just realized that was Salma Hayek.

      • Anonymous

        I’d rather come back as Penelope, because then, you know….Javier Bardem 🙂

        • Anonymous

          You made my day just mentioning the name Javier Bardem. Sigh…

        • Exactly. I still want to come back as Penelope.

  • Sobaika Mirza

    I don’t enjoy her belt, but Salma looks great.

  • CQAussie

    I must disagree, Your Graces!  Is that the right plural?  Whatevs.  Point is – I object!

    But only slightly…..Antonio is all kinds of hot especially with that salt and pepper hair.  Yum.  Agree – the pants are a shame….what happened??!  I disagree with you about those shoes on Salma – I feel like they make her legs look pretty stumpy.  I liked the dress top to bottom but I do think she could have kept it long like the original.  But maybe that’s too formal for a movie premiere?  I love her hair and make-up but I’m not sure about those bangs…..they look like hair curtains to me.  

    • Anonymous

      Thank you! Hair curtains.  I hate that look on everyone who wears it.  Like a teenager trying to grow out their bangs.

  • Anonymous

    That cat creeps me out. 

    Salma – pretty.  The high neckline bugs me a bit..choking.  I like the belt.  8.5

    Antonio – I wouldn’t have recognized him with short grey hair.  He looks ok, I guess…nothing special imo.  The suit looks kind of baggy.   7

    • I love that you rated the cat.

    • Well, now that you’ve brought the cat into it…. Orange fur with brown belt? Does Puss have candy corn teeth???

    • Anonymous

      Leave Puss alone! He can’t help it… he was drawn that way!!  😉

  • Anonymous

    You said it just right with Salma. The hem and fullness of the skirt are not flattering. Love this dress as a gown though. More unfortunate though is the Courtney Stodden snake bracelet. Celebs should put these away till the tramp’s 15 minutes are up.

  • Anonymous

    She looks better than she has lately, although I’m not in love with that high neckline on her. Because she’s so well endowed, the top part of the dress loses the draping effect and it ends up just looking like a wide expanse of fabric.

    He looks fine. Nothing too exciting. But he is the perfect voice for that character.

    • It’s easy for someone as well endowed as she is to look matronly in a high neckline. She needs to start paying attention to that.

      • Anonymous

        Exactly. I understand not wanting the boobs on display all the time, but there is a happy medium.

        • Anonymous

          I know, high necklines like this can give you a ski slope effect (to much territory between the neckline and  the waist).  I haven’t worn a turtleneck since 4th grade.   

  • Anonymous

    Love the cat!

  • Anonymous

    I saw it, it was cute. A few genuine laugh-out-loud moments, particularly if you’re a cat owner, and Amy Sedaris does some really fun work. If you have a lazy afternoon and feel like having some popcorn, it could be a good choice.

    • I agree. I loved it. But I am, admittedly, a crazy cat person. You kind of have to be a cat person to enjoy it.

  • Anonymous

    I go back and forth on him, between completely obnoxious and boyishly charming. He has never really done it for me, but then again, Swarthy and Latin has never been my speed. He has always seemed like a huge slut to me, like he would totally bang your best friend in the next room if she were up for it. Anyway, I’m rambling. He looks really good here and the whole thing with the cat is fun and cute. Today I’m saying boyishly charming. Tomorrow I may go back to obnoxious manwhore.

    Salma. She’s so va-va-voom it kills me. Gorgeous body, but not the easiest to dress. She doesn’t always nail it, but she rarely looks bad, imo. The dress is ok on her. Not sure about the hair, but she looks pretty and those shoes are to die.

    TLo, I’m also definitely going to see this, even though animated movies are not my cup of tea either. It looks like they captured all of those hilarious kitty quirks that we cat lovers know so well.

    • Oh, they completely captured the quirks – highly entertaining little flick!  The story, art, pretty good, but the jokes, allusions, and asides were great.  The person/people in charge are definitely owned by cats.  Go see it if you have cats, you won’t be sorry.

  • Anonymous

    You are being VERY generous today!  Must be something very happy in water.

  • Anonymous

    Really? To me he looks like a generic older guy trying to cruise for younger chicks in a bar. He looks OK, but an 8? I’m just glad Salma got rid of the trophy wife hair. 

  • The neckline is a little too high for her. A scoop neck would look better. And I hate the shoes. But that’s a beautiful dress, and it looks good on her.

    His suit does look a little baggy, but maybe more in a 1940’s way than in an old man way. It’s hard to tell because he’s all about the ACTION shots here. I want to tell him to stand still for a minute.

  • Anonymous

    He wants me so bad. You can see it in his eyes.

  • I have such a girl crush on Salma.  She and Antonio in “Desperado” will always be the metric against which I measure beautiful screen couples. 

  • scottyf

    I will never be in favor of small animated characters being rendered as “life-sized” costumed figures. As a relatively cerebral kid, the incongruity terrified me. On seeing Mickey Mouse at Disney World, I was convinced he was the victim of radiation poisoning.

    I’m sure it is one of the reasons for high therapy bills.

    • Anonymous

      OMG, thank you for that laugh.  “Victim of radiation exposure.”  Love it!

    • Anonymous

      Sorry for your troubles, Scotty, but the good news is that you’re funny as hell. Your comments always make my day.
      Happy weekend to you.

    • Anonymous

      Thank you for the laugh.  My son hated Chucky E Cheese. When he was 4 he went to birthday party at that horrible place and freaked out. The entire trip home he muttered to himself in the back seat of the car, “Chucky Cheese isn’t a mouse. HE’S RAT!”

      I must confess I hated Chucky E Cheese as much as him and encouraged his hatred and fear of that mouse rat thing whenever possible.

      It’s a horrible place. If Dante was alive today I am sure he would have included as one of the Gates of Hell.

      I think Antonio needs to grow his hair out a bit. That close cropped hair is aging him.

      • Anonymous

        The name alone is hellacious. Whoever came up with “Chuck E. Cheese” deserves all kinds of horrors.
        And I agree about Antonio’s hair. He really should pay attention to what we tell him.

      • Anonymous

        OMG, don’t remind me. I was visiting a “friend” of mine who moved down to North Carolina with her young son and she thanked me by putting me through the most hellacious three hours of my life, having “lunch” at Chuck E. Cheese whilst discussing her selections for possible bridesmaid dresses for me and three other “lucky” girls. The horror, I tell you.

        Apparently, the child’s dining preferences were McDonald’s chicken mcnuggets and Chuck E. Cheese whatever that thing was on his plate, so anyone going out to get a bite with her had to accept that it was going to be either Mickey’s or Chuckies. This kind of thing ticks me off, because aside from being unhealthy, she’s not teaching the child anything about table manners, how to behave in a restaurant or how to appreciate good quality food. In any case, when she came to NY to visit and wanted to meet for lunch, she suggested McDonald’s and I was like I don’t think so. I’m not going anyplace where I can’t order a glass of wine for the love of pete.

        OK, rant over. Thanks for reading. 🙂


        • Anonymous

          Chuck E Cheese and bridesmaid dresses!?!

          I believe we have discovered the next Gate of Hell in our modern version of the Inferno.

          • Anonymous

            Correctamundo. I somehow made it out alive, but not without deep emotional scars.

          • Anonymous

            And another thing …

            Tourists who come to NYC and even consider going to McDonald’s should be barred/banished from entering the city. Bloomberg needs to get on this. The City is just wasted on them. If you need something quick to eat order a slice or go to a deli.

            I am not total food snub and on occasion crave a Big Mac and fries but there is no excuse to go there in NYC. 

          • Anonymous

            Agreed. Although she’s not really a tourist. She’s Queens born and bred.
            She just lost her mind a little after becoming a mother. 
            All I know is, I got busy on menupages, looking for a proper restaurant with something resembling chicken fingers on the menu for the bambino. And wine. Plenty of wine. 🙂

        • Yikes! After reading your story, Lulu, I understand why you put friend in quotation marks.

          Also, ditto to what lobsterlen said.  Who in hell visits NYC and goes to McDonald’s. I don’t even go there in my normal life. McDonald’s is the last place I’d think of if I were in NYC.

        • Anonymous

          While feeling your pain, I have been guilty of having  lunch with family members or friends at Mickey D.’s in order to buy 15 or 20 child-free moments of conversation whilst they played in the playspace, if visiting times were tight.

          I can only offer in my defense that my children were not fans of naps & I remember *being* the “little pitcher with big ears” eavesdropping on the adults’ conversation from just-out-of-sight.

          I have never requested or suggested anybody go to Chuck. E Cheese, though. That’s not just a circle of hell, it’s one of the inner circles.

      • My brother-in-law was Chuck E. Cheese for a day. There was no way he was going back there for a second day. I think he’s still traumatized.

        • My daughter was Chuck E. for three days before she quit. She is under 5′ tall and the little boys kept kicking her in the shins and yelling that she was a rat. It’s amazing that they get anyone to do that job. She’s now 42 and still goes to a chiropractor due to the weight of that big rodent head sitting on her shoulders.

          • As some others have said here, that place must be one of the circles of hell.

    • Anonymous

      I know, it’s horrible, right? I’m not afraid of clowns, like so many people like to say they are, but grown up sized 3D cartoon characters are just freaky. I still remember Mickey Mouse at Disneyland towering over me. That’s not right.

      • Anonymous

        Not to mention the creepy frozen smile and those godawful red satin pants. *shudders*

        • At least he wears pants, unlike Donald Duck.

          • Anonymous

            I KNOW! With his business all flapping in the wind. Pervert.

      • Anonymous

        It’s the big dead eyes…

    • Anonymous

      Once, at DisneyWorld “Pluto” felt me up as we posed for a snap. As I was 19 at the time, I was annoyed rather than terrified and hence have to blame my high therapy bills on some other reason.

      Life sized cartoon figures — it’s just wrong!

      • Anonymous

        You should have kicked Pluto in the nuts, right there in front of the children. Talk about therapy bills!

        • Useless Fact #46: Jafar from ‘Aladdin’ got kicked in the nuts or beaten up the most of all the life-size Disney characters, at least that was true when I used to work at Disney World. 

          • Anonymous

            This is so awesome. lmfao

    • Jennifer Coleman

      Yeah, I never wanted to ‘run’ into the Easter Bunny for the same reason. A 6 ft rabbit hopping around our dining room was a truly frightening prospect.

    • Anonymous

      “I was sure he was the victim of radiation exposure.”

      Oh, yes, those Cold War memories!  Fallout shelters and duck-and-cover drills, where all us kids (in the words of George Carlin) crawled under our desks, put our heads between our legs, and kissed our asses good-bye….

      But few of us were so creative as to connect the madness to a colossal irradiated mouse.  That bit should have made it into a Kubrick film or something!

  • Anonymous

    I like the Chain detail, and even though I’m not generally a fan of platform heels, I think hers are pretty.  

    But if I had Salma Hayek’s boobs, I’d pretty much always have the girls out on display.  But that’s probably because I’m a 32A.

    • BuffaloBarbara

      The thing with bigger girls is that they often pretty much have to be shown off–they look funny in things that don’t show them off (I think Olivier must design most non v-neck/scoop/other bust-enhancing neckline shirts, because very few of them are even remotely attractive when filled).

  • MilaXX

    Agree with the scores but I hate those long bangs or whatever that is she did to her hair. I kinda want to see this based on the commercials alone. Never gonna see the penguin movie unless its on cable & I can control it with my remote. Saw the 1st one & there’s a part where the movie goes all Greenpeace. I’m bored by AHS & The Walking Dead just makes me say, “ew!” , but that peguin movie gave me nightmares.

    • Jennifer Coleman

      I totally agree! Seriously Tlo, you are cosigning the floppy puppy bangs?

  • Anonymous

    I don’t really care for that dress on her, and she looks generally pained to be there at all.

    The movie: eh.  It was ok.  There were some genuinely funny moments, but definitely wait until a rainy Sunday afternoon to rent it.

  • Anonymous

    You must be feeling generous. These are two of the most gorgeous people we see on these pages, and they’ve both managed to make themselves look dumpy.  The puss’ outfit is more flattering — and he’s not wearing much!

  • Anonymous

    His hair looks way better than it usually does. I never understand why such a handsome man decided to go with greasy strands plastered to his forehead. So, yeah, the buzz cut is way better than that. (And I, too, am attracted by the Puss in Boots commercials. And, yeah, I am a cat lover.)

  • Terence Ng

    I think her hair makes her neck look short, and the overall effect contributes to her looking squat, where she actually has a killer bod, despite her height.

    As for Antonio, man is he aging. I want to believe he’s aging well (and believe me, do I love a well-aged man), but…I can see where it’s all heading. Maybe it’s his haircut?

  • Sara__B

    HE: Trying too hard, and looking rather sleazy. (I like his short hair cut, though.) 7/10

    SHE: The hair is awful and the cut of the dress doesn’t flatter her fabulous curves, but she’s got her usual confidence and energy working for her. 7.5/10

  • Anonymous

    Hair pretty? I wore that hairstyle in 1979 – in 9TH GRADE. It looked horrible then, too.


  • Anonymous

    She looks gorgeous and comfortable! I want her dress, face, and hair please. He looks so smarmy, but that’s kind of his schtick, no?

  • Anonymous

    I’ve seen her look so much prettier. That is not her dress, or hairstyle.

    He’s cute in a dad kind of way.

    I’d score them no higher than a 6.5.

  • Anonymous

    Can I just say, I love his haircut.

  • Anonymous

    I’ve got to agree, his hair is doing the heavy lifting here. It’s a great look for him. And he was desperately in need of a great look.

  • margaret meyers

    Love her look — right down to the matchy accessories.  This is a great “day look that’s almost an evening look but is still a day look” ensemble.  That dress fits her perfectly and I have no quarrel with the skirt.  I especially like the length.  Perfect.

  • Anonymous

    Wait – TLo – you like her hair? I think it looks hiddy.  Different tastes.  

  • Anonymous

    At least she got rid of the bow on the belt.

  • I think Puss is working it. I can’t stop staring at him. 

    • Anonymous

      Yep, next time Salma and Antonio better bring it.  Because you do not want to be shown up by an over-sized stuffed animal.

  • Um, bone to pick. Her hair is not cute, here. Those split-in-the-middle curly bangs are weird.

  • Anonymous

    He’s still sex on a stick.  He could show up in sweats and look hot, IMO.  But it is nice to see him putting forth a little effort on the style front!

  • T & Lo – I saw the Puss and Boots movie. It was actually really cute. Not worth spending the money in the theatre (very few are, of course) – but stick it on your netflix queue. It was pretty funny 🙂

  • Anonymous

    As a childless couple, both my husband and I saw this movie and loved it.  We just couldn’t stop laughing.  It must be a cat thing because my beloved Boochie looked like Puss.  Any cat owner may love it simply for the butt-scooting scene.  

  • oohsparkley!

    I’ve had a crush on Antonio since the movie Philadelphia, where he was Tom Hank’s dying of aids character’s wonderful boyfriend.  I give that little explanation for the youngsters.  He’s aged but he looks good.

  • Anonymous

    Not a good look for salma’s body shape. Hate her hairstyle. Shoes are great but not with that outfit

  • Good Shot

    Hey TLo, have y’all been to the Ritz to see “The Skin I Live In” yet? The mate and I went in not knowing what it was about (Almodovar is always a must see in our minds), and, well, we certainly weren’t expecting the plot to go where it did.

    Anyway, Antonio looks ravishingly distinguished in it. (I’m still shocked about what his character does in the movie, but I don’t want to spoil it.)

  • Anonymous

    i dont get it.

    this is not her dress more than the slinky grey sack is not the dress for “the most beautiful woman in hollywood”™.
    i would argue that this white modest marilyn is doing exactly to her what i did not want dresses to do to me over my entirely too long lifetime & in exactly the same way: she’s too short & top heavy to wear that much of a skirt. doesnt matter what length it is, it’s just gonna thicken & shorten. & the hair is not all that much better. & it is not helping, either.

    it is very weird to me that AB is as old as he is now [precisely what age that is i’m not sure. i just remember him as mr. melanie griffith]. it made me think about whether i would have been able to recognize a goodlookin middle aged man when i was–i dont know how to say this well–say, about the age melanie griffith was when she started dating don johnson. does that make sense? i guess she’s got about a generation on me– anyway– it’s hard to remember who goodlookin middle aged men were in the 70s & 80s, the reason being that they would have dressed so differently than pre-middle aged men. i suppose they were attractive when you get down to the bones. i think i mention all this cos i find it interesting that he’s dressed much more like a thirty year old than a comparably middle aged movie star wouldve been thirty years ago. as is the way w/ most middle aged men [& women] these days. anyhoo, i suppose thats the point i’m trying to make. circuitously.

    i agree w/ the people who say the naked, booted plushie looks the best, btw.

  • Lisa

    They don’t look *terrible*, but they could both do better.  They both just look a little frumpy, you know?

    Oh, and I totally get what you mean about how the appeal of this movie must be a cat-owner thing – I get that!  I’ve even thought about going to see this.  The cat who keeps going “Ohhhhh…” in all the trailers KILLS me!

  • Anonymous

    She looks a little better than some of her recent forays.  It is a shame she got married and now has to limit herself to fashion houses her husband controls.  That dress long was seriously pretty, shortened it gets frumpy.
    He looks pretty good.  I’ve always been ambivalein about him (mostly because me married bat shit crazy Mel) but I watched him on Ellen last week and he seems pretty fun and nice.

  • Anonymous

    I don’t see why he can’t dress like his character: striped up in tats in a belt and pirate boots n’ hat. I’d give him a ten if he did that.

  • What are those shoes he’s wearing?  Very pointy, look like cowboy boots?  With the baggy pants, it reminds me of Ricky Ricardo.

  • Anonymous

    If there were any doubt remaining: I am my mother. I want to tell her to get her hair out of her pretty face.

  • Anonymous

    OTOH, the Aladdin working Disney World when I took my kids was quite the dish. Which my 7-yr-old daughter seemed to appreciate as we have photos of her giggling uncontrollably whilst interacting with him. (Like many of the Disney ‘characters’ that young man was earning his money, let me tell you. He deserved three times what he was getting paid, whatever that was.) 

  • Anonymous

    Yes, the shoes are killer, and I like her bracelet, but don’t you think that the hair makes her head look like a peanut?

  • Her belt is too low (my apologies if someone already said that, I’m too lazy to scroll through). If the belt were higher, she would look less thick. It’s not that the dress is too full, it’s that it is sitting wrong.