Let’s judge a boy, kittens.
Joe Manganiello attends a press conference to promote “True Blood” in Hong Kong.
Although it doesn’t seem right to use the term “boy,” since that is clearly a thick slice of MAN right there. Y’know, we never really got the Manganiello love until we saw him in the tents during Fashion Week. He’s HUGE. Not “roided out” huge, just extremely tall and extremely broad-shouldered, with an enviously small waist and long legs. In fact, our first thought (after briefly picturing him naked) was, “It must be tough to get clothes that fit right.” Not that we expect any males to shed any tears over his hardships, but broad-shouldered, barrel chested, tiny-waisted and long-legged is NOT an easy combo to fit. Yes, they look great in their underwear, but guys like Joe have a bitch of a time getting suits that fit correctly.
And usually, Joe does pretty well in that regard. Which, hey, no surprise, since designers will throw a baby to get him to wear their clothes for public appearances. There are people whose jobs it is to make people like Joe Manganiello look good in suits. They must have all been on lunchbreaks when this was put together.
We’re not super-crazy about double-breasted suits. They can be very flattering on a guy of average shape, but put one on someone shaped like Joe and it does nothing for him. He’s a column. Worse, he’s a column with a tiny paunch because the jacket is pulling across his undoubtedly taut and firm midsection. And we will continue to insist that male stars who wear suits without ties be judged very harshly on the stiffness of their shirt and collar. The hair’s a mess, the watch is too sporty for this look, and while we like brown with grey, we don’t like the color of his shoes paired with the suit. There. He’s been assessed. And found wanting, we might add. Do try not to vote with your loins, kittens. Let’s all start by agreeing that yes, he’s hot, and yes, your husband or boyfriend said it was okay to fuck him should the opportunity present itself. But has he really maximized his hotness, knowing he was dressing in free clothes for a public appearance? Ask yourselves THAT.
IN! He looks classic, tailored and HOT.
OUT! He looks like a mob enforcer on a bender.
Maggie Gyllenhaal was voted OUT (and possibly pregnant) by the minions, who can forgive a potentially pregnant gal a lot, but not bralessness.
[Photo Credit: Getty]