The most significant cultural event of the last half-century, the 100th episode of Gossip Girl, was recently celebrated as the milestone in western civilization it so clearly is at Cipriani Wall Street in New York City. Let’s all, through the magic of the internet, pull back the veil on this historic occasion and make fun of everyone’s outfits. We already got a head start with Pocahontas Barbie earlier.
You might not think we’d say this, but we actually dig this for being low-key, classically chic. Those are chinos or jeans on the bottom, so we don’t mind the extra hem length, and the shirt and jacket look effortless but put together. The collar is lying flat and that makes us sad, but the rest of it works fine for the event.
Chloe Moretz in Stella McCartney
Oh, sweetie. Your pretend gay uncles just love watching you make these fun mistakes. Keep up the good work.
His red carpet posing is always of the utmost hilarity; his expression always hovering at the midpoint between feigned ennui and a gall bladder attack. This is not a bad look, but we don’t love those shoes.
Kaylee DeFer in Thierry Mugler
Severe. That was our first thought. It’s a pretty fierce dress. We don’t think it really needs the leopard print shoes and super tight hair. She could have softened the detailing slightly.
Kelly Rutherford in Peter Som
She looks like – and this is a little mean – one of those anthropomorphized characters representing various things left behind by your broom in those Swiffer commercials.
Leighton Meester in Balmain
When we saw a closeup of her, we thought her hair and makeup looked pretty and hoped for similar effects from the dress. Then we got the full shot and all our hopes were dashed. In fact, we’re questioning our initial reaction to her hair and makeup. The dress is complicated and not very flattering and the shoes look cheap.
Mary, Mother of Pearl are mirrors against your religion or something? How can you not see that jacket cutting you in half? Worst proportions seen on a male on the red carpet since MC Hammer was a cultural force to be reckoned with.
Michele Trachtenberg in Rebecca Taylor
This is almost something. We think she could rock this jumpsuit – no, really – but it needs better styling than this. Smaller clutch, less doorknocker-y jewelry, and less focus-pulling shoes would help a lot, as would a less severe hairstyle and serious toning down on the eye makeup.
So apparently when we say this is “almost’ something, we mean “barely.”
We were almost ready to declare this another red lace dress of which we approve even though we hate red lace dresses (it’s been a recurring thing lately), but then we saw those accessories and now we’re so enraged that we both feel migraines coming on.
Our first impulse is to say he looks a little douchey. Our second impulse is to admit if we were attending the event, we’d probably have him pegged as one of the most put-together (if not exactly exciting) men in the room.
[Photo Credit: Mario Santoro/PR Photos]