Christina Aguilera in L’Agence and Dolce & Gabbana

Posted on November 01, 2011

CHRISTINA MARIA AGUILERA!

What is WRONG with you, girl?

 

Christina Aguilera attends “The Voice” Press Conference at Sony Pictures Studios in Culver City, California in a L’Agence blouse and Dolce & Gabbana skirt. Belt by Barbara Bui. Boots by Alexandre Birman.

We can tell you right now what’s wrong with you. Like all judgmental gays, we learned at a very young age, when we were traipsing through bars and giggling like our shit didn’t stink and we’d never get a wrinkle, how to assess someone from head to toe, surreptitiously, out of the corner of our eyes, and in under 10 seconds. Back in the day we used this skill, like all young bitchy gays do, to determine who was worth sleeping with. Today we use this skill to tell celebrities why they look like shit.

Anyway, what’s wrong with you? YOU HAVE NO GAYS YOU CAN TRUST. We don’t doubt that there are gays buzzing around the Aguilera sphere and no doubt some of them are even on the payroll. But Christina Maria, we’re here to tell you, THOSE BITCHES DON’T CARE ABOUT YOU. If they cared about you, they would have stopped you before you hit the door. Honey, if we were your gays, we would have TACKLED you to prevent you from getting in your limo. This is so wrong it’s causing pre-migraines and eye twitches. You are an internationally famous recording star and you look like you work at a cart in the mall that sells skull jewelry and customized Zippos. YOU ARE GETTING YOUR PICTURE TAKEN RIGHT NOW, GIRL. Do you even UNDERSTAND that? Fire your gays immediately. They don’t love you like we do.

 

[Photo Credit: Andrew Evans/PR Photos]

    • http://tinroofpress.wordpress.com/ J

      i couldn’t agree more. 
      but then hasn’t she been a wreck for years now? i think THATS her look. 

      • Anonymous

        Agreed. I don’t ever think I’ve seen look good.

    • Anonymous

      All she needs is a cowgirl hat and a double holster with two six shooters and she’ll be ready for the Halloween Ball.

    • Anonymous

      Sweet Moses! That is one angry blog post.

      ….well-deserved, however. She looks like a black-and-white-cookie. In a bad way.

    • Anonymous

      She looks so incredibly different in these photos from other ones, like she’s another person — her nose and eyes look completely different. She dressed horribly before, and she is dressing horribly now, but they look like two totally different horribly dressed people.

      • http://www.GiftedCollector.com Nancy Abrams

        Yeah, my first thought when I saw the close-ups was “Is that what Christina Aguilera looks like?” She does seem to look very different.

      • Anonymous

        She has gained a good bit of weight recently (see the dreadful pictures of her at the MJ tribute concert).  It seems that some of it has settled in her face, unfortunately.  Her features are much more ’rounded’ than they used to be.

    • Erin Nice

      This outfit makes me miss the chaps and greasy hair of her “Dirrty” days.

      • Anonymous

        true!  At least then she was bringing attitude and energy.

      • Anonymous

        Disagree. Old Aguilera looked like she smelled awful. This new incarnation is poorly dressed, but she bathes.

        • http://pulse.yahoo.com/_F3HKIK7MIJMBDAQBDWEAQDTXUM theneva

          “She smells better than she looks” isn’t exactly a ringing endorsement.

      • Anonymous

        NEVER thought I could agree with that statement, but I do, wholeheartedly.

      • Anonymous

        its the photos where her face is straight on, they look like someone else. like her stand in or something.

    • Anonymous

      seriously girl, listen to your gay uncles.  she is making me sad these days…….

    • Anonymous

      I think this is the pre gentrified Brooklyn look Kimberly was aiming for. Kimberly: change direction. Christina: change everything.

    • shorty j

      At least she looks cuter than usual from the neck up. I almost forgot that she’s a really straight-up beautiful woman since she applies her makeup with a trowel. I could do without the tarantula lashes but I’ll let that one slide. :P

    • Anonymous

      TLo- I miss your brief segment that created imaginary wardrobes for those celebs who needed it most (I remember your January Jones one especially). I would love to see you do Miss Christina here.

    • Anonymous

      I almost did not recognize her. She needs an intervention, probably on several levels. The whole look is tragic.

    • Anonymous

      Maybe her weight gain has her questioning how to dress?

    • Anonymous

      Just a little more eyeliner and she’d really look great. 

      • http://pulse.yahoo.com/_EDI2DLE7DE3YPW2ONIHBWOVHMA ecallaw

        That one made me snort.  Thank you.

    • Anonymous

      At least she doesn’t look like she used Homer Simpson’s make-up gun (set on ‘Whore’) like she usually does. The colors on her face may at one time or another existed in nature. Well, ignoring her eyes of course…

    • http://toodles.yelp.com AWStevens

      TLo: your assessment was perfect.  This woman needs “What Not To Wear” AT LEAST!

    • http://profiles.google.com/ellenbehm Ellen Behm

      Does the girl not own a mirror? I bet under all that, she really is beautiful.

      • http://twitter.com/NC_Meg Megan

        If I remember correctly, there were several scenes in Burlesque where she was wearing minimal makeup. She’s really cute like that.

      • Anonymous

        She is an absolutely lovely girl without the bad hair, bad makeup, and bad wardrobe.

    • Anonymous

      This made me spit out my tea…

    • http://twitter.com/NC_Meg Megan

      I am a broke barista/college student and even I dress better than her. Girl, you have more money than I’ll ever dream of having. Hire a GOOD stylist and buy some quality extensions!

      • Anonymous

        I think she’d do well to get rid of the extensions. Too much hair!

    • http://profiles.google.com/sara.e.munoz Sara Munoz

      That hair is tragic. She looks like she is wearing a turban. :-(

      Oh, Christina, what an opportunity you are wasting! You have a weekly TV show. A popular one. This is your chance to change your image and get a hold on the credibility that is quickly slipping through your fingers.

      • Anonymous

        Re: Christina’s hair-she’s in thrall to that hyper-bleached blonde, and it isn’t working for her anymore.  She is a pretty woman, but she desperately needs some Gays who care.

        • Anonymous

          “Gays Who Care.” That sounds like a great title for a tv show…

        • Anonymous

          “Gays Who Care.” That sounds like a great title for a tv show…

          • Anonymous

            What a great idea!  Especially if it was hosted by Lorenzo, Tom, Tim Gunn and Carson Kressley.  They could probably get government funding for the show, as it would be a public service…

            • http://twitter.com/TheRedZavodnik Ginger

              I’d fly my ass from Texas to New York in order to have that crew show me some love.

            • Anonymous

              The thought of Tim Gunn and Carson Kressley, plus TLo on TV is just delicious!

          • http://www.facebook.com/rachel.council Rachel Council

            Or a non-profit organization. 

        • http://twitter.com/NC_Meg Megan

          I want to see her go brunette SO BAD.

    • http://twitter.com/ILikeShiny Cindi Williams

      I’m built similarly to Christina. We short-waisted gals don’t need a skirt hiked up to our boobs.

      • Anonymous

        Likewise. I wish she’d dress better! I need a curvy petite to point to and say – “hey she looks great”!

    • http://profiles.google.com/jenna.thomasmckie Jenna Thomas-McKie

      70s secretary from the waist up, and sad, sad, SAD ice skater from the waist down.

      Damn, girl.

    • Anonymous

      What-is-this-I-don’t-even…

    • Anonymous

      She looks like a hillbilly that inherited some money but has no idea what to do with it…..OR she’s dressed like a pirate for Halloween….”Puffy Shirt” anybody?

    • Anonymous

      What is wrong with her left eye???  Is one of her false eyelashes falling?  Does she have a new nose?  What is happening to her?

      • Anonymous

        I wondered about the nose, too! Maybe she usually turns her head to the side ever so slightly, as she is in the other photos, because she looks unfamiliar in that full-frontal shot of the face.

        Also, I can see that she has makeup in her hair right next to her face, but has she applied a little foundation to some of the longer hair on her right (our left) side, too? It’s all so confusing.

      • http://twitter.com/onetimeko maybe more

        Looks like her false eyelashes got put on at different angles! I’ve done that to myself before when in a rush to get ready… But shouldn’t she have a makeup artist??

      • Alloy Jane

        I KNOW!!!  What on earth did she do to herself?  I really don’t remember her looking like that ever.  Even underneath the clown makeup she normally sports, she’s never looked this… tragic.

    • Anonymous

      I just re-watched Burlesque this weekend and she was so pretty – dewy even. Those people had a vested interest in making you look good, Christina! Ask them if they have friends who need work!

    • ArKane Fyre

      …well hello there Snooki! The bleached blonde is not working on you at all.

    • sweetlilvoice

      I think she’s pretty and talented and yet she insists on dressing like Baby Jane.

    • http://fafafab.tumblr.com/ fafafab

      I saw these pics in a forum and although it was a somewhat improvement from her MJ tribute concert outfit, this is still way off, the make up is kind of pretty though, at least she doesn’t have the face of a drag queen

      people think I judge her because she’s bigger now than she was before, and it couldn’t be less true, I have no problem if one day she woke up and decided not to give a damn about looking fit, but girl needs to start dressing the figure she has NOW instead of trying to dress the figure she had when she had 19-20-21-22-23

      and the hair, could it be any whiter? or more fried? is she bleaching it with clorox? :'(

    • http://twitter.com/urban_gypsy Urban Gypsy aka Tess

      I love Christina and this makes me sad. Those clothes do not begin to look like designer duds. She looks like she picked them up at the skirt at the local Hot Topic and the top at Talbots. Please, girl, you’re so pretty, you just need to find better gays. We’re rooting for you here,

      • Anonymous

        I’m sorry–but Talbot’s would never sell a blouse that skanky.  Looks like it came from the Kartrashian Kollection at Sears.

    • RocknLox

      This is the first time I have ever seen Christina’s face. Usually she’s full on geisha. 

    • http://www.facebook.com/justine.mondonedo Justine Mondoñedo

       Before you know it, she’s gonna look like Dolly Parton, which is sad because only Dolly Parton can get away with looking like Dolly Parton.

    • http://twitter.com/KathleenGillies Kathleen Gillies

      Holy Taylor Momson’s chasing-after-her lost-young-adulthood-trying-to-be-hip-former-teen-Mom!    What is scary is that her clothes are probably all super expensive designer stuff that now looks like something from Kohls’ Clearance Racks.  $10 she can’t blink without the black caulked fringe sticking together.  I can only thank her for her lip color restraint.  Now, if she would take 3 rings off…

    • https://profiles.google.com/104791269167429064986 Judy S

      It is sad, because I can see her looking in the mirror and liking this, in a naive way. But on her all the labels looks like they belong in Wal-Mart. 

    • http://twitter.com/KathleenGillies Kathleen Gillies

      She needs dressing tips from Christina Hendricks.

      • http://pulse.yahoo.com/_EDI2DLE7DE3YPW2ONIHBWOVHMA ecallaw

        Hahahahahahahah—wait, are you serious?

        Maybe from the Mad Men wardrobe department, but definitely not from Christina Hendricks.

        • http://twitter.com/KathleenGillies Kathleen Gillies

          Yes, that is what I meant– sorry!  Love the volupt but it needs….. understructure to bring to it’s best flattering aspects.

    • Anonymous

      At least she’s not orange. Poor girl.

      • http://pulse.yahoo.com/_EDI2DLE7DE3YPW2ONIHBWOVHMA ecallaw

        AMEN. She has so much further to go, but AMEN.

    • Anonymous

      It looks like the start of a pirate costume.

    • Anonymous

      Doesn’t this woman have more money than God?  So why is she dressed like any mall rat in any mid-sized town, USA?  It’s pointless to even begin to discuss what she’s wearing.  What is there to discuss?  Her extensions?  OK–could they look any more fake unless they were purple?  She looks terrible.  Makes me sad.  I liked her look when she was doing her costumey thing.

    • Anonymous

      This is a Paris Hilton halloween costume. 

    • Anonymous

      It’s a good thing she has loads of talent, because her style really puts her at a disadvantage. This get-up looks cheap and the proportions are terrible on her. I would love to see her take a break from all this and just put herself in the hands of a designer that would take care of her, create a complete wardrobe and ensure that she looks presentable at all times. Someone like a Norma Kamali, or even a Chris March, since she does have a taste for the dramatic.

    • http://twitter.com/susanpcollier Susan Collier

      Awful. Is she hurting for cash so much that she’s working catering? Also, that Juice Newton hair has got to go.

    • http://twitter.com/Nancer Nancer

      So, I know that this is very rude, but… is she trying to start a pregnancy rumor? Because the fit of that skirt is so very bad, I can only imagine that she was purposely trying to look larger than she is…

    • Anonymous

      She is stuck in her story.  As we all age/mature and our bodies change, we adapt…she hasn’t.  I really like her…but I smh at the way she presents herself. 

    • Anonymous

      And your hair stylist, and your makeup artist, and…!!!

    • Anonymous

      Oh, dear lord.  It’s Mary Hartline:  http://www.richsamuels.com/nbcmm/hartline/hboat.html

    • Judy_J

      I thought she was on her way to a costume party.

    • Anonymous

      I was hoping for the best for Christina but when I saw the picture, I shouted “Oh dear jesus, what is wrong with that woman!”

    • Anonymous

      in that second photo she looks utterly waistless..and please dont get me started on the hair and makeup, just hopeless…sigh

    • Jenna Kuhmann

      She looks more like Snooki every time I see her.

    • http://twitter.com/NamelyNorm NamelyNorm

      She needs to borrow Rachel Zoe’s gays! 

    • Anonymous

      As a gal with not-so-slender thighs, I can say that no woman with anything but skinny legs can wear a skirt of that length and of that volume without looking like the chubby cheerleader.

      On a positive note, she has softened the makeup a little bit. That’s an improvement.

      Regarding the post, LOVE the use of her middle name. Hilarious.

    • Anonymous

      I like Xtina, but she looks so strange here, not even reminiscent of herself.  And that outfit is atrocious!

    • Anonymous

      I think she and Snookie are sharing outfits. 

    • Anonymous

      But her face is wonderful when she is smiling. The slash of red being gone is a HUGE improvement.

    • Anonymous

      Great post. I love her voice, but she almost never looks good when she’s out and about before the cameras. I wish she’d trim / style her hair, make it less platinum, wear less makeup, and dress according to her body type. She’s got a sexy body, she should make the most of it (and that doesn’t mean having her boobs pushed up to within an inch of their life).  She’s dressing like she’s 20 years old here.

    • Anonymous

      Honestly, I thought this was a Halloween outfit.  She looks miserable on multiple levels.  I think she should send her gays to YOU, TLo, so as a public service you can do your version of the Vulcan Mind Meld on them.  They must never be allowed to perpetrate this kind of horror on anyone in the public eye again. 

    • Anonymous

      Well, three points in her favor:
      1. She’s no longer Cheeto-colored.
      2. You can actually see her skin through the makeup.
      3. She doesn’t look 40.  Granted, she’s gone too far in the other direction, but I still think it’s good that she’s trying.

    • Anonymous

      Bless her heart.

    • http://pulse.yahoo.com/_F73LIJ3SJGI5AJQMXMWXCKILHI Pamela

      Photo negative of Snooki much?  Hiddy beyond belief!

    • Anonymous

      If she’s going to continue to insist on extensions and lots of makeup, maybe she should befriend Lady Gaga. They could be girlfriends together and LG could teach her a thing or two.
       
      But seriously, I wonder what she really looks like under all that mess. Probably pretty cute. Go back to your roots girl, literally. And don’t dress like the top half is going to communion and the bottom half is going to a funeral.

    • mrspeel2

      When I saw that first photo of her I thought, “Snooki got a dye job!” and when I saw the rest of the shots, I was convinced! Amirite or what??

      • Anonymous

        Oh my god, she does look like Snooki on a good day.  That is not something that you want people to say about you ever. 

    • MilaXX

      I think she likes looking like the tackiest ho in the room. At least the makeup isn’t turned up to 11.

      • Anonymous

        Yes, this must be her daytime look.

    • Anonymous

      Amen.

    • http://www.facebook.com/robin.layton Robin D. Layton

      Her makeup is better than it was in the last photo I saw so give her a little credit.  But only a smidgeon since her clothes just get worse.

    • Anonymous

      She is incredibly talented. Just not in fashion.

    • Anonymous

      It looks to me like she has put on a bit of weight and is trying to hide it. Girlfriend needs to put “Beautiful” on repeat and go buy some hot new clothes.

    • CQAussie

      I’m pretty sure I saw what’s on her head in the Adult Wigs section of my local Halloween City over the weekend.

      Yes absolutely – she needs to FIRE HER GAYS.  She’s so beautiful and this outfit doesn’t showcase that even remotely.

    • Anonymous

      So basically – and brutally – what you’re saying is she’s too old and fat for that outfit?

    • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=527150091 Pat Biswanger

      Tragically bad.

    • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=1303837450 Lauren Dorsee Dillon

      And what is up with her face? She looks like Xtina’s crazy aunt, Baby Jane. 

    • Anonymous

      At least she isn’t traipsing around without pants, as per usual. I’ll vote this an IN just on that basis.

    • http://www.facebook.com/rachel.council Rachel Council

      Oh, Xtina. This makeup, these lashes… no.

      At least she’s using conditioner again? 

    • Sara__B

      Looks like she works as a bar wench at a pirate-themed lounge. The woman has incredible pipes and lousy taste. I don’t think she’ll ever learn.

    • Anonymous

      at least she lost the red lipstick? oh gosh… the whole thing is sooo awful! 

    • Anonymous

      For real.
      This child needs an intervention.

    • http://twitter.com/TheRedZavodnik Ginger

      She looks like Brooke Hogan. Ew

    • Anonymous

      She is an Eyepatch away from a terrible Halloween costume.

    • http://twitter.com/baxterbartley Becky Bartley

      Someone should quietly take her aside and inform her she can no longer dress like a skinny girl. She needs to buy a can of gasoline and some matches for her closet because if this is what she wears in public than I cannot fathom what she wears when we don’t see her.

    • http://profiles.google.com/laurenjeanstm Lauren St Martin

      I literally laughed at loud looking at these pictures! And that is awful. I mean, her eyes don’t even match! I’m not even sure how that is possible for them to look so drastically off, but it was managed somehow! Just so so sad. And hilarious. Maybe she’s trying to outdo Britney on the crazy train?

    • Joyce VG

      She got heavy.  And formally skinny celebrity women who get heavy are usually delusional about the way their bodies actually look.  I feel for her and hope she gets her s**t together for her child.

    • http://pulse.yahoo.com/_QDTYKBJF23YJKXYRP2LWWOMJFQ TN

      “Like all judgmental gays..”, redundant.  “like all young bitchy gays…”, again redundant.  On to Christina Maria Aguilera, what a drag queen name, she’s starting to look like Snookie, girl dress for your size.  You’re no longer a size 4 or by the look of it even an 8.  Now dress appropriately. 

    • Anonymous

      Skull cart. HHHHHHAAAAAAA

    • Anonymous

      Are you sure that’s not a Halloween costume?

    • http://twitter.com/#!/Space_Kitty Space Kitty

      Oh, dear.

      Christina, it’s ok not to have the body you did when you were 19.  None of us do.  The problem is you’re still fabulous but you’re NOT DRESSING LIKE IT. 

      Empty your closet – including those extensions and any shade of red lipstick – and start over.  Losing the fake tan was a step in the right direction.  Now it’s time for a brand new glorious persona.  The public loves a makeover – DO IT.

      • Tamara Hogan

        Sing it, Space Kitty!

      • Anonymous

        I second…oops third that emotion

      • Anonymous

        yes yes yes.  YES!

    • Anonymous

      At least she’s not orange…but that’s where the positivity ends.

    • http://robot-heart.tumblr.com heartbot

      I feel like she’s put on weight, and she has no idea how to dress her new figure. It’s not like she’s even all that big. She’s just got curves, and she’s flailing to figure out how to cover it up. She needs help.

    • Anonymous

      I think also she either has no critical judgement about her looks, or distrusts her own judgement completely and just puts on what is handed to her.

      Like when you gain a little weight and hate the way you look in everything & know you should just give up and stay out of public view while you exercise & eat healthfully & sparingly but you HAVE to dress up for something and so you take your shopping buddy with you and just buy whatever they say looks best.

      Not that I would know about that, myself. Oh no.

    • Anonymous

      I feel sorry for her hair.

    • Anonymous

      It’s all Mad Men Secretarial Pool up top and Hot Topic Goffick on the bottom. And Barbie hair. Cognitive dissonance.

    • Anonymous

      I think she must be having an extrodinarily tough time adjusting to her mommy body. 

    • Anonymous

      She could teach a course about how NEVER to dress. EVER.

    • http://profiles.google.com/trashilove { edi } ilovetrash

      i always feel really bad for this one. she has a lot of money but it clearly is not making her happy.
      she doesnt know how to dress any more cos she’s put on weight. she did not put that weight on in a lucky manner, therefore she needs to dress accordingly & very carefully. she doesnt know how, nobody around is telling her how & she very possibly cant even deal w/ the fact that she needs to do it. i wish she would get ahold of vivienne westwood or betsey johnson, stat, & just have them make her clothes & teach her how to buy undergarments. what she’s doing now just sets herself up for ridicule & people are mean. i hope she takes better care of herself in the future cos people will just get meaner.

    • http://twitter.com/nicolahearts nicole seligman

      my boyfriend said “oh, is this not the halloween costume post?” we agree she looks like an out-of-the-bag pirate.

    • Anonymous

      Hair is scary.  The skirt makes her look heavier than she likely is – and if she’d gained weight, then it needs to be something much more flattering.  And that make-up looks very much like Mean Girl at the Mall.  Someone help her please.  Her voice is so beautiful I can’t stand to picture it coming out of the person in that picture.  

    • Anonymous

      Miss runner up at the state fair

    • Anonymous

      Yeesh! Hopeless. At least as far as style is concerned.

    • Anonymous

      she has never been a fashionista, just gets worse as she gets older

    • Anonymous

      uh, what?

    • Anonymous

      She is looking like a poorer member of the Kardashian tribe. GOD!!!!!!! Scrub that face –  tear out that AWFUL dan weave you look like you’ve been wearing unmaintained for years and find a damn lip color that suits you! NO MORE AIRBRUSHING! JEEZ! This is a beautiful young girl looking like booger drag goes to bingo!!!!

    • Marti Thornton

      I KNOW!

    • Anonymous

      She continues to dress as if her body hasn’t changed – and they aren’t good looks for her.  Nothing wrong with a fuller figure girl – but learn how to dress like ya got one!! 

    • http://twitter.com/karenrubyleo Karen

      I don’t know what has happened her face but if it wasn’t for the bleached blonde hair she’d be unrecognisible.

    • Anonymous

      My first thought is “Well, at least everything seems to fit, more or less,” which just tells you what a sad trajectory she’s been on.

    • Anonymous

      Horrible.  Utterly horrible.  Exacerbated by her always defensive, dead-eyed facial expressions.  I should pity the general messiness but everything about her appearance is off-putting to me.  

    • Anonymous

      She looks like a waitress at some really cheap restaurant that it is attempting to be fancy.

      She really needs someone to explain to her that she is a good bit larger than she used to be, and that her ‘old’ clothes are not appropriate for her ‘new’ body.