Around the World with Salma Hayek

Posted on November 28, 2011

Salma has been strutting around the world in 4-inch heels, poledancing for that cat movie, bless her. But ever since she married that insanely rich French guy, it seems she’s been forced to only wear the brands his company owns or partially owns, e.g., Gucci, Bottega Veneta, Balenciaga, YSL. Alexander McQueen and such. That would be fine with us because who wouldn’t support a gal who married a billionaire and gets free designer clothes for the rest of her life marriage?

Unfortunately, many of these brands work an aesthetic that doesn’t always work for our Salma.  Let’s break it down:

Salma Hayek attends the premiere of  “Puss in Boots”  in Sydney, Australia in a Bottega Veneta dress and YSL pumps.

These gigantic corset-like belts do nothing for her figure. Plus, the slightly edgy feel of the look works against her looks. And that thing around the neck needs to be ripped off.

 

Salma Hayek attends the “Puss In Boots” photocall in Rome in a Balenciaga dress paired with Giuseppe Zanotti shoes.

This is quite cute. That sash is a horrible idea. We suspect it was deployed because without it, she’d have no shape in this thing.

 

Salma Hayek attends the “Puss In Boots” UK premiere  in London in an Yves Saint Laurent tuxedo paired with an Alexander McQueen clutch.

There are many ways a woman can look incredibly chic and sexy in a simple tuxedo. This is not the way. Swaddling her decolletage and plopping a man hat on her head takes the look away from sexy and straight into drag. The whole point to the female tuxedo is that it plays around with gender conventions and turns them on their head. It somewhat defeats the purpose when everything that would indicate the wearer’s femaleness is covered up. Also, the cut here looks too masculine.

Salma Hayek attends the premiere of  “El Gato con Botas” (“Puss in Boots”)  in Madrid in a Bottega Veneta dress and Gucci shoes.

Cute. A little too fussy for her (clean lines, Salma; they’ll always do you right) and we don’t like the shoes, but it’s not a bad look.

 

Salma Hayek attends the German premiere  of “Der Gestiefelte Kater” (“Puss in Boots”)  in Berlin in an Azzedine Alaïa ensemble paired with YSL pumps

Oh, honey.What made you think the top from a track suit would look good with a Cha Cha skirt? Sweetie, don’t let hubby dictate your style for you, no matter how many diamonds you get out of the deal. Best to hire a sassy gay to do that.

 

[Photo Credit: Caroline McCredie, Elisabetta Villa, Fergus McDonald, Andreas Rentz, Carlos Alvarez/Getty Images]

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