American Music Awards 2011: The Stage

Posted on November 21, 2011

The Oscars and Emmys don’t pull the nominees out of the audience and make them re-enact scenes from their nominated performances so red carpet posts tend to suffice for coverage. But with the AMAs, where half the audience gets their own number onstage, there are multiple opportunities for bitchery regarding stagewear.

Why, J Lo alone provided more than enough costuming entertainment for the evening. In fact, we really think she probably should have gotten an award for it. It’s all about giving with J Lo and she made sure to give the audience what it needed more than anything: her.

 

Jennifer Lopez in Giambattista Valli (first look)

First, she is your diva/goddess/cat person. Pure and chaste, suffering for her art and her fans by wearing so much extra fabric.

But she is mischievous and wily.

Then…

 

BAM! She is shimmering and shaking! Plus she’s got something dangling between her legs that is very distracting! And just when that seems like too much…

POW! BARELY DRESSED, BITCHES. And whatever that was between her legs has now been safely tucked away. Drag queens worldwide are weeping at her skills.

And then, finally, to bring her fans down gently…

Broken-down techno ballerina doll…

… slash cheerleader.

 

No one else could compare her to efforts.

 

Justin Bieber

It’s like looking at a negative of Michael Jackson circa 1983.

 

Mary J. Blige

Fierce as shit.

 

Nicki Minaj

Crazy.

 

Katy Perry in Johnny Wujek

We wanted to love this, but it was weirdly unflattering, which we suppose is a silly thing to say about a getup like this, but we still think the goal was to look pretty, if not conventionally so. She’s always had a healthy rack on her, but she’s amazingly busty and top heavy in this thing.

 

Kelly Clarkson

Get mad at us if you must, but we don’t think the mermaid silhouette flatters her at all.

 

Queen Latifah in Georges Chakra

There aren’t many full-length shots of her in this gown, but from what we could see, we thought she looked pretty sharp.

 

Christina Aguilera in Hervé Léger by Max Azria


Honestly? This isn’t the worst thing to wear. It’s a crime she didn’t wear it with a good enough shaper (and go up a size) and we’d never go so far as to say it’s the most flattering choice for her, but she can actually get away with a dress like this. We just don’t think it shows much style.

 

[Photo Credit: Getty]

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  • Anonymous

    Kelly, HONEY. 

  • Anonymous

    La Blige and Queen Latifah win this one, hands down.

    • http://www.facebook.com/people/judi-townsend/578042503 judi townsend

      I agree. They  look sexy, powerful and classy

    • Anonymous

      I wish the Queen would take Kelly aside and explain to her the many ways an abundant figure can look so savagely fierce.   Girl needs some help.

      • http://inkblotphotography.blogspot.com/ Cate

        THIS. half the reason i love QL so much is that she NEVER looks tacky. she’s the only plus-sized celeb i can think of who ALWAYS look on point.

  • http://twitter.com/stellaphone Stella Zawistowski

    Leave it to Mary J. to show everyone else that stagewear doesn’t have to be a costume to have amazing impact. Love.

    • Anonymous

      It’s called letting one’s talent speak for itself. She is so fine.

      • http://pulse.yahoo.com/_F3HKIK7MIJMBDAQBDWEAQDTXUM theneva

        Seconded. Christina Aguilera should take a page out of Mary J’s book instead of trying to force the lady to kiss her tacky hand.

  • Anonymous

    Oh Xtina, the dress is a little better than usual, but that hair is still pure Branson.

    • Anonymous

      WHAT is going ON with her cleavage?!

      • Anonymous

        She looks like she’s made of wax that is melting in the stage-light heat.

      • http://www.GiftedCollector.com Nancy Abrams

        Between her enlarged chest and belly, I’m thinking pregnancy. If that’s not it, there’s no excuse.

  • Anonymous

    Katy Perry looks like a drag version of Sean Young in Blade Runner.

    • Anonymous

      thank you so much!!!! I was just thinking the same thing! :-) 

    • Anonymous

      YES! It was bugging me to no end who she was reminding me of. 

    • Anonymous

      I (re)watched Blade Runner last night and that was the first thing that popped into my head when I saw that pic of Katy Perry!

    • Anonymous

      So very, very Blade Runner that I keep thinking it must be intentional. Maybe she really likes the movie?

    • http://www.joannao.blogspot.com JoannaOC

      This! A Blade Runner laffy-taffy.

    • Anonymous

      Or Francesca Annis in David Lynch’s “Dune”.

  • Anonymous

     You boys are feeling awfully kind today.  Xtina and Kelly Clarkson both look like sausages.

    • Anonymous

      Yes. That ¿panty? line in Xtina’s outfit is unforgivable. It’s the stage clothes of a performer with hours of previous styling, for chrissake.

      Kelly, you transmit a nice vibe. You don’t need to associate your outfit to a Christmas ornament. 

    • Anonymous

      Yeah, Kelly’s makes me sad because I actually like her as a human. Like, I don’t mind her music, but her personality appeals to me much more. At the same time, it’s such a normal-person mistake that I’m oscillating between “Oh, GIRL” and “Bless.”

  • Anonymous

    Bless Mary J Blige!  She is gorgeous and fierce, indeed.
    I’m not at all impressed with any of J Lo’s outfits (well, maybe the last one’s a bit interesting).  Why is the crotch on her body suits always so low — fear of camel-toe??  There are other ways to get around that.
    Justin Jackson is just a joke.  They let him go out on stage like that?
    Kelly Clarkson’s dress is not only unflattering on her, it’s hideous and floozy in every regard.
    I so agree that Christina might have looked okay with Spanks and a bigger size.

  • scottyf

    Soul Brothers T&Lo said about Justin Bieber
    “It’s like looking at a negative of Michael Jackson circa 1983.”

    I mean no disrespect to the youngster, but that’s only if you’re including talent in that negative. 

    To paraphrase Lloyd Bentsen: “You Mr. Bieber are no Michael Jackson.”

    • Anonymous

      Oh scottyf! Who can say?  Like Russia, our Ms. Lopez is a riddle, wrapped in a mystery, inside an enigma.  We shall never know her depths.

    • Anonymous

      Mother=catwoman, because she’s like a big mama leopard in a cape, ready to groom her kittens with her sultry voice.
      Person=nekkid skin suit. She’s giving herself to us–all of herself. That’s just who she is. She’s all about the love.
      Entertainer=broken down techno ballerina/bandaged cheerleader. Because what’s more entertaining than that? She’s covering both the classical arts and high school sports. Black Swan meets Glee. (But she’s added to bandages because she’s all about safety, too. This brings us back to Mother.)

    • Anonymous

      Scotty, they did say LOOKING AT and not LISTENING TO.   I mean, 1983 Michael was the Off the Wall and early Thriller era.   You don’t mess with that shit.

  • Anonymous

    Nicky Minaj looks startlingly like Frieda Pinto in the second picture, which considering Frieda Pinto- damn. And that Queen Latifah comment needs a rimshot.

  • http://pulse.yahoo.com/_5LU5C262WB3Z5F4WZ6QGKXLNLE JaneM

    J-Lo did a million numbers?  (i didn’t watch) and did someone fall down or teeter?

    You know, J-Lo doesn’t really sing anything.  What you’re hearing is a blend of three voices. I wish I was kidding, but I know a sessions musician who told me about her screaming at a Hollywood Bowl rehearsal that her mike was ON.  It isn’t supposed to be on.

    • http://twitter.com/stellaphone Stella Zawistowski

      Someone put together three voices to make J.Lo’s voice and she STILL sounds like a cat being tortured?

  • Anonymous

    JLo would like everyone to know that she’s been working really hard on that body. Yowza.

    I though Kelly C. almost pulled off the red dress…but then no. She has a small waist/bust compared to her hips. I think an A-line or empire would be more flattering.

    I really like Katie’s dress. I think you are right though. It would look better on a less busty gal.

    • Anonymous

      With Kelly C. (the only thing I saw last night), I thought she looked really good – comparatively speaking of course. I’ve seen other performances of hers and what not and she always looks like she took something out of the closet and said “let’s go!”

      Last night, she put the effort in. Granted an A-line would have been a better choice, but baby steps, baby steps.

    • Anonymous

      Yeah, Kelly C looks super pretty from head to waist, and then…not so much. A-line would have looked super pretty on her.

  • Anonymous

    Silly me, I always thought those bandage dresses did the same thing to a body as shapers.

  • Anonymous

    Wow… Kelly Clarkson looks like a floozy in her floor-length red gown, but Christina would’ve looked okay in a crotch-skimming atrocity that has more in common with a vintage Jantzen one-piece than a dress?

  • Anonymous

    Wow… Kelly Clarkson looks like a floozy in her floor-length red gown, but Christina would’ve looked okay in a crotch-skimming atrocity that has more in common with a vintage Jantzen one-piece than a dress?

    • http://profiles.google.com/shannonlstewart Shannon Stewart

      No one said she looked like a floozy — there are other ways for a look to be unflattering.  I mean, a burka is hardly floozy-wear, but no one would ever call it pretty either!

      • Anonymous

        Sorry, Disqus messed me up a little- I was trying to reply to alyce1213, above, who said Kelly’s dress was “floozy in every way”.

  • Anonymous

    Kelly,Kelly, Kelly, Kelly – man that is unflattering.  And just when I was thinking how your really shape underneath that thing could not look as bad, I saw the pics of Christina – .  Awful.

    Not sure on Q Latifah.

    I like a lot of crazy hair colors but hate that pink color on Nikki and Katy – and that stupid roll thing on Katy’s look stupid. 

    …. JLo  – classy or not moves up the list closer to Mary J

  • Anonymous

    JBiebs outfit is, first and foremost -that is, before not suited for him and ridiculous-, UGLY. the pimping of that kid has me nauseated. 

    Why do 90% of performance clothes draw attention to the wearer’s crotch?   

  • MilaXX

    Jennifer Lopez -Are you guys giving her a pass for pimping that darn car during the show or choosing to ignore it?
    Justin Bieber – Surprised you didn’t include a picture of him with LMFAO
    Mary J. Blige – Fierce
    Nicki Minaj – Fun
    Katy Perry – Nice try, but the bust doesn’t fit well.
    Kelly Clarkson – I like the color on her. This could have worked if it was straight.
    Queen Latifah – Always brings it
    Christina Aguilera – She straight up trippin’. The dress is too small and not only didn’t she wear a spanx, she’s wearing a thong of all things. This chic is a hot mess, bordering on stank.

  • Barb Ray

    Re: J.Lo’s 1st look: “CAMEROON!” bitches! am.i.rite? (Actually, Beebee owned it, J.Lo is merely showing it.)

    • Anonymous

      Totally!!!! You nailed it. And Beebee is The Queen of leopard, J. Lo tries it on and it doesn’t work.

  • http://pulse.yahoo.com/_EDI2DLE7DE3YPW2ONIHBWOVHMA ecallaw

    Oh man, Christina. I’ve struggled enough to lose the last twenty pounds left over from baby #2 that I will VERY rarely criticize another woman for her weight, and now is no exception.  I will not criticize Christina for her size.  But GIRL…you have got to realize what your body actually looks like when you are deciding what to wear. 

    • http://profiles.google.com/shannonlstewart Shannon Stewart

      I want 20 minutes alone with that woman SO BADLY.  Honey, you are NOT still the same size as you were back in your “Genie” days and there is no shame in that!  But when you continue putting on the same size clothing, you look both stupid and lacking in self-awareness.  Own the body you have now, it’s still a very nice one:)

      Of course, what can we expect when Brittany was called “fat” and “out of shape” for her “comeback at the VMA’s a few years ago… I mean, she certainly didn’t have the most toned body I’ve ever seen, but only someone who lives in a bubble with only Vogue models as examples of women’s bodies would call THAT fat!

      • http://pulse.yahoo.com/_EDI2DLE7DE3YPW2ONIHBWOVHMA ecallaw

        Amen to that–Britney at the VMA’s was another example of a woman that could have looked great, but was NOT wearing the clothes she should have been at that point!

    • Anonymous

      No, Xtina’s size isn’t the issue for me at all. It’s the size of her clothes. It makes her look cheap and trashy. It’s all about dressing for your body type, minus the sleaze factor.

  • http://pulse.yahoo.com/_QP4RBTAZX6QTHZZSJ2YT7DGO7Q Brittany

    CA…I can’t believe you’re so gentle on her. WORST head to toe.

  • Anonymous

    Agreed about Kelly.  It doesn’t flatter her shape and makes her look very bottom heavy.  The color was beautiful on her though.  Xtina, I have no words.  She doesn’t own a mirror.  J-Lo, hell no.  Nicki, looking like Nicki…

  • http://pulse.yahoo.com/_2CNDPMVO4W23R5TVC2QMTJ5BZE Heather

    I’m ashamed to admit that my BF and I watched a few minutes of this – we’d had a long day and needed to vegetate. We saw JLo’s “performance” and part of Katy Perry’s. My BF thought that Katy Perry WAS a man – that her boobs were actually chicken fillets. It took a lot of persuasion to convince him otherwise.

    Speaking of boobage, Xtina should avoid clothing that shows off her implants. Look at the 2nd photo.

    • http://profiles.google.com/sara.e.munoz Sara Munoz

      No kidding. Never have XTina’s girls looked more synthetic.

    • Anonymous

      Yes, you can see the ridge of the implant on one of her breasts! 

  • http://profiles.google.com/shannonlstewart Shannon Stewart

    With you completely on Kelly Clarkson and Christina Aguilera.  And I’m still sorely disappointed that Xtina didn’t learn anything about style from working with Cher.

    But I think Katy Perry’s dress did exactly what it was supposed to:  make her look top-heavy.  Katy has always gone for a boob-heavy look, sort of a porn star with a sense of humor vibe.  I understand this, because if a dress makes my boobs (which are fairly massive on their own) look bigger and my hips look smaller, I’m in.

  • http://profiles.google.com/curlykew Heidi Hellstrom

    I’m sorry, Aguil-hair-uh still looks like an aging burlesque queen. Queen wanna-be. Something.

  • Anonymous

    JLo might  put a contract out on me for this, but it’s Mary J Blige for the win.

  • Stefanos Mantyla

    THAT is Kelly Clarkson? What happened to her? Aside from the dress, that is.

    The rest look… as ever. Though Blige and Latifah do look more than decent, I would say. Much easier on the eyes than anything else presented.

    Aguilera trades in the little actual “style” she had for… nothing. No fit, no taste, no anything. Fail on all accounts.

  • Anonymous

    Nicki Minaj is getting ready to fight Godzilla1

  • Cathy S

    Mary J. and Latifah for the win! Mary J. looks so sharp. The Bieber comment was hilarious and right on target.

  • http://twitter.com/danielleRwest Danielle West

    Kelly looks ridiculous in that dress.  And it’s clearly from another time.  A bad time to which no one wants to return.  Christina is still trying to pull off looks that she can’t.  And it’s a little sad.

  • http://twitter.com/aidanboleyn Aidan B

    Dear God, Christina! I’m very glad to see what I think is your natural skin color, but I am seeing WAY TOO MUCH OF IT. Please decide between boobs or thighs next time. And go up a size. (TLo, you were way too easy on her.)
    Mary J, you werq that pantsuit, girl. And I really do admire Katy and Nicki’s risks here. They both pulled off the crazy rather well.

    • http://profiles.google.com/sara.e.munoz Sara Munoz

      Yes, they are far too kind. One size is far too kind. More like 2 or even 3 sizes.

    • http://twitter.com/urban_gypsy Urban Gypsy aka Tess

      I don’t get this dress on Christina. It’s like any other tacky too-tight night out on the town for her and not at all performance worthy.

      J-Lo is judged in an entirely different sphere from the other mortals. Anything less and it just wouldn’t be her. And god bless her, she has the body to wear nothing but glitter on stage…after twins. That is a feat in itself. I’m still working off the baby weight and my baby is driving these days. The rich are different. Sigh.

  • Anonymous

    i am starting to be sad for xtina. 

  • Anonymous

    Kelly, please go to Mary J and Latifa for some advice on how a bigger girl can look fierce as hell.  Because you look like an ornament, and not in a good way.  Xtina you look pregnant.  Seriously pregnant.  And congrats if you are, but if you’re not, go up a size, look into foundation garments and stop wearing everything so damned tight. 

    Niki M?  You crazy girl, but I love it.  She’s crazy without taking herself seriously.  Katy Perry is starting to take it seriously.

  • Anonymous

    so much to love here boys. a night of staggering performances in self-delusion. Jlo, seriously? can we all imagine her in her mid 50′s?  she will have no distinction from drag. None. Plus a lot of frozen facial features. ANd lots of lectures to her fans about “love” and “relationships” and “parenting”. 

  • http://pulse.yahoo.com/_QCJEZMOV4VYMXC5WJALLZNYEB4 Mari Rose

    Katy Perry looks like Blade Runner Barbie.

  • Stefanos Mantyla

    What is up with Katy’s left ear in the second photo of her?

    • Anonymous

       I had not noticed until I read your post – but now I want to know also!

    • Anonymous

      Her ears were all I could focus on during her appearance. Freaky.

  • Anonymous

    Mary J. FREAKIN Blige, ladies and gentlemen!!!

  • Ann Erickson

    Christina’s breasts are scaring me.

  • Daisy James

     All of the problems with the outfit aside, the nude-lip-heavy-eye really isn’t doing Ms. Aguilera any favors either.

    And: Kelly. Honey. Not only is that dress unflattering, the solid sequins make it look cheap and dated, neither of which I would use to describe you. Fire someone.

  • http://profiles.google.com/sara.e.munoz Sara Munoz

    Christina’s dress reminds me of an exercise ball.

  • Anonymous

    J Lo’s gold booties look like ice skates.  Blech.

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Karen-Stephens-Bassett/1503492602 Karen Stephens Bassett

    Mildred Pearce calling Katy Perry…”I want my hair back.”

  • Anonymous

    See, Nicki Minaj CAN have normal, beautiful eyes! That second picture of her is beautiful. Her eyes are so warm, not that crazy posing crap she did on the runway.

    Oh wait, we were talking about clothes, weren’t we? Uh, yeah, I agree with everything!

  • Anonymous

    Seriously thought Christina was showing off a big baby bump … trying to one-up Beyoncé. But think Katy Perry looks hot as shit. It’s like disco-futuristic Mildred Pierce!

  • http://joyouslifesf.wordpress.com Kiltdntiltd

    The black girls brought it! Mary, Nicki and Queen ruled the world.
    JLo.
    Ahem. my dear, there was some serious crazy going on amongst t good stuff happening.  That first outfit?  Leopard chiffon, um, no.And that white plastic thing?  WTF?  I’m all for getting out there and edgy, but it needs to make some sense, even self-referential sense.

  • http://profiles.google.com/dchockeyguy Trevor Burroughs

    totally agree with you on Kelly Clarkson.  She looks heavy in that dress and a little awkward.  No more mermaids for her.

  • Mariah J

    My EYES…I’m glad you bitches watched this for me while I watched Walking Dead and Dexter

  • Anonymous

    How does a gorgeous item like J.Lo wind up looking like hell in so many different changes of expensive clothes? Mary J. Blige!! YES. Kelly Clarkson, NO. Christina? More more badder than you said. WAY BAD. So bad it makes me use bad grammar.

  • michelle shields

    I am going to start calling Katy Perry “WonderBoobs”.

  • Lauren Maier

    JLo in the sparkly-barely-there catsuit…did anyone have flashbacks to Brittany Spears in the “Toxic” video?  

    • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=622570407 Alyssa Ball

      Thank you. I would be a little more impressed with the whole thing if it hadn’t already been done like 10 years ago.

  • CQAussie

    Mary J Blige is seriously the diva of divas, I loved her look.  JLo is muy crazy but even she isn’t as nuts as Nicki Minaj.  Katy Perry just always looks desperately seeking attention and holy cow Kelly and Christina.  Just….no. Wish there were more shots of Queen Latifah….I loved her look too.

  • http://pulse.yahoo.com/_7DDBWDEQZA3OUS4S6MEMDEKWQ4 chhivt

    Ladies, can you explain to me what’s happening to Christina’s left boob in the last pic?

    • Anonymous

      Left in the pic – her right breast?  Part of it looks normal for raising your arm… but I can see how it does look like an implant on the bottom.

      • http://pulse.yahoo.com/_7DDBWDEQZA3OUS4S6MEMDEKWQ4 chhivt

        Err, yeah right boob.  Yeah, it looks like it’s lost some filling.

  • Anonymous

    I spit out my drink at the Justin Bieber comment!
    Poor Xtina. Honey that is sooooo not your dress. 

  • Anonymous

    With the first couple of outfits, our Jello muchacha is ready for the revival of Cats. She even looks like she’s belting out “Memory.”

    When I looked quickly at the designer of Katy Perry’s outfit, I read Johnny Weir, which would have made perfect sense.

    Is there anyone out there (other than a million pre-pubescent girls) who believes that the Beebs isn’t playing for the other team? It makes me wonder what team Selena is playing on, or how much she’s getting paid for going along with the fantasy.

    • http://joyouslifesf.wordpress.com Kiltdntiltd

      So, should we start calling her, Jellicle JLo?
      As far as the Beebs is concerned. Honey I ain’t claiming him for MY team, Nuh uh!

      • Anonymous

        I’m afraid if we release him as a free agent, NO team is going to want him….

  • Judy_J

    Jen looks like she’s gonna try for the triple salchow in that second get-up.  Triple axel in the third.

  • http://twitter.com/tehnakki nakki

    I can’t tell if it’s just because she’s squinting, but it really looks like Xtina has toned down the makeup a bit!  And yes, I am focusing on her face to avoid commenting on her hair (so fried!), her bosom (dear god!), and the bandage dress (it’s tacky and old even for YOU, honey!)

  • Rand Ortega

    Justin Bieber seems to be fond of Captain Eo. MJ’s spinning. Not in a good way.
    JLo is playing strictly to her fans, which isn’t me. God, that unitard. She looks like she’s been rolled in shiny nuts & sprinkles. The other get ups defy description.
    Katy Perry has got to turn off Sailor Moon & Cutie Honey if she insists on smoking crack, ’cause that’s obviously her inspiration.
    Niki Minaj is just another species entirely, bucking every Earth rule there is, which makes me very happy.
    Yay! Xtina is a rule breaker, too. All the 1′s re: aesthetics, proportion, taste, etc.
    KC’s ok. The silhouette just doesn’t look like it’s her type. Very stiff & mature for someone of her age & shape. Maybe the gown fit the song she sang.
    La Blige– Sublime. A simple white tux & everyone else is drab by comparison.

    • http://pulse.yahoo.com/_CIPKMOXHLA5KG34HMH55OXHCVM Angel H.

      You win Teh Internetz for referencing Katy Perry, Cutey Honey, and Sailor Moon in the same post.

  • Anonymous

    In my head Kelly is singing “It’s just a lil bitty pissant country place”…

  • http://pulse.yahoo.com/_CIPKMOXHLA5KG34HMH55OXHCVM Angel H.

    Queen Latifah: I want that dress!

    Nicki Minaj: Steel armor does not go with shiny Chuck Taylors.

    Mary G. Blige: Bow down, bitches!

    Christina Aguilera: My boobs hurt for her.

  • Anonymous

    Queen Latifah looks beautiful as always. Otherwise, lotta schmatta at this event.

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=6416893 Jenna Kuhmann

    I looked at Kelly Clarkson and thought “Oh Kelly, no!”  I think she is really pretty but she dresses herself bigger than she is.  

  • Anonymous

    Mermaid cuts flatter no one who weighs more than about 17 pounds. And they’re impossible to sit down in.

    • Anonymous

      I think it’s safe to say that mermaid cuts fall in the same category as hip panels. A BAD idea unless you’re so twiggy the width there would do you some good.

  • Anonymous

    Mary J looks so classy and beautiful it seems as if she was somehow dropped from another planet into this whole mess.

  • Anonymous

    Kelly looks bigger then Latifah though she isn’t really…. power of right proportion. Lopez is amazing, I don’t care if she sings as long as she moves on stage looking like she is – such a pleasure for eyes. Christina should loose all that extra weight, and kelly too – I understand T&LO can’t say it here, so let’s give them a hand. If I would be making money with the way I look I’d invest in it and starve. Saying that, huge respect to Mary J. Blige, looking elegant and hard rock and sexy with no skin out – look and learn youngsters!

    • http://profiles.google.com/shannonlstewart Shannon Stewart

      I want to know what world you’re from that Kelly Clarkson or Christina Aguilera NEEDS to lose weight?  And seriously, they should “starve” so they can make money off their looks?!?  NEITHER OF THEM IS A MODEL, JACKASS!  They’re SINGERS, both of them, and it’s their VOICES they’re making money off of. 

      And to imply that starvation is a viable diet choice to look better is to suggest that any result less than one produced by completely insane methods resulting in skeletal frames is unacceptably fat.  So not even their natural bodies in great shape would be enough to suit you. 

      Plus, I don’t think it’s that TLo just can’t say it — I suspect it has more to do with not being total assholes who think they have the right to attack the bodies of others if they don’t meet some ludicrous ideal that exists only in their own damn heads. 

      • Anonymous

        Watch your language. Both Christina and Kelly never looked like models but used to be in a very good shape. High tolerance to overweight people in US led this country to a national problem of obesity. And when T&Lo said Christina’s dress needs to go a size up – it’s a polite hint, so you know.
         Also, try to stay in a frame of civilized conversation – yelling your head off like this! calm down, there are wonderful singers!…

        • http://pulse.yahoo.com/_CIPKMOXHLA5KG34HMH55OXHCVM Angel H.

          “High tolerance to overweight people”? Are the police going to start rounding up us fatties and lokcing us away until we’re thin? And if the word asshole makes you start clutching your pearls, then you really shouldn’t be on the Internet.

          Get over yourself.

      • Lisa

        Ease up, okay?  No one said that either of them are fat.  All TLo and anyone else is saying is that Christina’s dress isn’t the right size, and Kelly’s dress isn’t the right style.  You’re the one freaking out over the perception that they’re being called fat.

  • Anonymous

    Dear Katy -

    You’re in a desert walking along in the sand when all of a sudden you look down and see a tortoise crawling towards you. Which table do you seat from your hostess station at the space restaurant first? 

  • Anonymous

    OOOH, Kelly, hon, that is NOT your dress

    And Miss Christina needs to invest in some Spanx ASAP

  • http://profiles.google.com/misslauraschultz Laura Schultz

    Katy Perry dress = fondant and frosting
    Srsly re: Christina Aguilera? UNbelievable. #eww

  • http://asskickingadviser.com/ Ass Kicking Adviser

    Kelly should talk to Queen Latifah about how to dress her figure. I am glad that Kelly is just embracing her full figure but she still tends to wear things that she would have chosen 20-30 pounds ago. She needs counseling from the Queen.

    • http://twitter.com/MandySCG MandyJane

      All big girls should take notes from the Queen!

      • Lisa

        Absolutely!  The Queen always looks gorgeous!

    • Anonymous

      LOL, I just posted the same thing before I saw this.   I absolutely agree.   The Queen gets it:  she always looks gorgeous, because she understands what her body looks like and dresses to suit it.   She’s not trying to hide or camoflage or stuff herself into something too small.   She’s all “your little size 2 is not enough for all this fine-ness, bitches.   Now, bring me a dress that fits!”

  • Anonymous

    I LOVED seeing Kelly and Christina proving that you don’t have to be a stick to still be famous. I thought they both looked amazing.

  • Pud Blackboots

    Did anyone else get a “Hunger Games” Capitol City vibe from the weird spacey clothes and roccoco hairstyles on the perfomers?

    • http://www.facebook.com/mary.nease Mary Nease

      I think that Katy Perry is a fan and is bitter that she didn’t get cast as Effie Trinket, so now she’s determined to show Lionsgate how superior an Effie she would have been by out Effie-ing their Effie in real life.

  • http://pulse.yahoo.com/_AYQCICXEN2CCDBFV5HED4Z2RUA Dee B

    Kelly’s should have ended at the knee.  Boom Gorgeousness. It’s not actually bad anyway.

  • http://twitter.com/ashinyoconnor Aisling O’Connor

    I don’t think I’ll ever stop laughing at, ‘It’s like looking at a negative of Michael Jackson circa 1983′. TLo gold.

  • Anonymous

    Wow, Kelly is getting really bad style advice. That’s definitely not her dress. And the hair… I get where they were going with it, but it’s executed very poorly. Did she get it done at a strip mall?
    Also, haven’t we reached our JLo, Pitbull and Adam Levine quota for the year?

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=1464580879 Sarah Oleksyk

    I’m pretty sure Kelly Clarkson borrowed that dress from the set of Pink Flamingos.

    • Lisa

      That’s it!!  That’s the connection I was trying to make!  I was thinking a red version of Ursula’s dress from “The Little Mermaid”, but yours is spot on.  And I hate saying that about her, because I love her to freaking death, but this dress doesn’t work for her.

  • Lisa

    I hate that American Idol breathed new life into JLo’s career, because she’s just freaking everywhere now.  I’m so tired of her.  Seriously – Lady Gaga is less of an attention whore than this one.

    Xtina’s most important accessory?  A shoehorn and some Crisco.

    • Anonymous

      I literally laughed out loud when I read that comment. I imagine it took some sucking in, prayer and plenty of Crisco to make that happen.

  • Anonymous

    Kelly Clarkson should wear that red dress and Gwyneth should wear her green sequined number and thy could do a duet of “White Christmas.”  Christina looks like she’s trying too hard and that’s never sexy. Katy looks tragic. Mary J and Latifah are bringing it.  I lost interest in J Lo years ago so it matters not what she wears. Justin Bieber does not exist in my world.  

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=1468295759 Connie B. Verzak

    Ah, Bieber. With all the hawt vampire mojo other stars are garnering, it figures you would eventually try your hand at sexy mummy.

  • Anonymous

    I actually kind of dig Katy’s bubblegum-replicant look!  I think it looks a little odd in the middle–too short-waisted.  But otherwise a cool choice.

  • Anonymous

    Forgot to say how much I liked Latifah’s dress, too.  Looks really classy from what we can see.

  • http://twitter.com/Gothama1 Liz H.

    I think we all need to give up on Christina, she is beyond therapy.  But Kelly, Kelly, that is not your dress.  She seems to be the only one who looks (gasp) heavy, when in fact there other women with real curves on stage and they all look awesome.

  • Anonymous

    Lucy Ricardo does a Pepto commercial. So tired of this schtick.

  • http://www.facebook.com/vazquezangel Angel Vazquez

    No fair, you left out the beautiful dress J.Lo wore when she was accepting her award.
    http://www.mjsbigblog.com/myphotos/gallery/american-music-awards-2011/jennifer-lopez-ama2011-1.jpg
    And her performance tonight, even though a Fiat product placement opportunity, was still miles better than anyone else’s that night.  And that awful thing she wore for Wil.I.Ams performance I don’t think was meant to be seen in the light since it had glow-in-the-dark strips all over it.  The girl brought it.

  • emily mcginnis

    am i the only person who thinks that JLo comes across as desperate for attention? 

    both Christina and Kelly make themselves look bigger. both have such beautiful faces and curves, but are just not dressing up to their potential. they could work their curves and look completely amazing. what a shame.

    Mary J. for the win!

  • Anonymous

    Christina…honey..that is sooo not your dress.  I feel sorry for her

  • http://karensbooksandchocolate.blogspot.com/ Karenlibrarian

    Kelly Clarkson, I love you, but that is not your dress.  And Cristina Aguilera is just trying too hard, like JLo.  And is it just me or are Katy Perry’s boobs getting bigger in every photo??

    Best outfit of the night was Mary J. Blige, by far.  

  • http://twitter.com/evergreen_g G and G

    JLo’s outgfits definietly scream drag diva and I’m cool with it…what I’m not cool with is the fact that Fiat paid her to whore that eff’ing adorable car and it does not suit her extravagant image in any way. I wouldn’t really care so much about the product placement but my partner and I recently bought a Fiat 500c (though not in the white JLo drives in the ad).  

  • Anonymous

    Katy Perry usually makes me feel nostalgic because her outfits often remind me of some doll or other I had (or coveted) when I was 5 or so.

  • spooki C

    Just happy to see Christina with a nude lipstick on and less than 3 lbs of bronzer. Unfortunately Christina has always dressed horribly and has worn things so much worse than that dress that I can’t hate it.

  • Anonymous

    God, I hate J-Lo, cheap and showy at all times.  That last one was just ugly.  Spot on about the beibs.  MJB was born to wear that white suit, gorgeous.  I gotta love that Nicki Minaj, she is having more fun than half the room put together.  That gown on Mrs. Brand looks like two gowns sewn together, all future super hero on top and 40′s screen goddess on bottom.  And nither were flattering.  Kelly, oh Kelly!  You looked so awkward in this as well as not a flattering shpe or material for you.  I voted Queen latifah for best dressed, that dress was perfect for her.  Christina?  Yeah, let’s not go there….. “Desperately Seeking my Fan Base”

  • Anonymous

    Didn’t Britney wear JLo’s get up about 10 years ago?

  • Anonymous

    Kelly Clarkson…she never looks comfortable.  It doesn’t diminish her talent, but, girl needs to develop a style and OWN it.  Come to think of it, same goes for Miss Christina.  Talented, but distractingly UN-stylish all of the time.

  • http://cheekypinky.wordpress.com/ Rebecca

    Oh, the mermaid silhouette.

    It is not of the friendly for girls with asses and hips.

    Nip in the waist, let everything else flow free, honey.

    (bonus: makes singing easier)

    • http://profiles.google.com/shannonlstewart Shannon Stewart

      Well, it can be, if the bust is large enough and the waist small enough (and the attitude strong enough) — at my thinnest, I can do a mermaid because my hips and my bust are the same measurement and my waist is more than a foot smaller.  It goes very burlesque, but that kind of works for me. 

      It just does NO favors for a pear shape or a thicker waist.  Even then, it could be salvaged (depending on the body, but Kelly’s a great example) with a very strong shoulder. 

  • http://cheekypinky.wordpress.com/ Rebecca

    (But Kelly, your hair looks pretty!)

  • http://www.facebook.com/mary.nease Mary Nease

    I swear that Katy Perry is actually a huge fan of the Hunger Games and is rocking Capitol Effie Trinket chic.

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Erin-Gray/759971796 Erin Gray

    Can I just say that I love you people to pieces. I am always amazed at how y’all manage to be both funny and critical without being unkind. You are the best, wisest, funniest commentariat on the internet. Y’all beat the H-E-Double Hockey Sticks out of those angry folks who keep screaming at me from the comments section of my digital New York Times subscription.  TiLo commentariat (TiLotariat?) for president!

  • http://twitter.com/nkk Nikki

    Are those cupcake tins on Nicki Minaj’s nips? holy cow… 

    and I though Katy looked like a grown up Judy Jetson…

  • Anonymous

    Christina’s style shows more than just her need for a foundation garment. I see that her breast implants are in need of a tune up, do you see it?

  • Anonymous

    As usual, TLo’s captions are brilliant.