2011 Hollywood Style Awards

Posted on November 15, 2011

Hollywood pretty much exploded in red carpet events over the last few days, forcing us to form opinions on a whole boatload of celebrities who want nothing more in life than our approval. It’s for them that we do this. And the children, of course.


Andrea Riseborough in Dolce & Gabbana

We believe we’ve criticized her in the past for underplaying her makeup, but now that we see her with played-up makeup, we think we were wrong about that one. See? Aren’t we magnanimous, darlings? Unfortunately, that dress paired with those shoes are making her look like one of the extras in a ballroom or wedding scene in that Once Upon a Time show, which we inexplicably can’t stop watching, even though the CGI is horrendous, the fairy tale costumes look like rentals, and the acting is subpar, to say the least.

Anyway, we seem to have wandered off for a bit, but what we’re saying here is this is way too Disney Princess for us.


Chloe Moretz in Miu Miu

Oh, sweetie. Look at you, you adorable little bumblebee. We think the proportions here would be horrifyingly bad on practically anyone else, but they’re only a hair off on her. High-waisted and flared suits her, but that skirt should drop down an inch or so. Also, we think the top would look better if it was more fitted.


Eva Longoria in Victoria Beckham



Jaime King in Calvin Klein

Unexpected. We don’t like sheers over minis, but we’re digging the mod vibe. Bad choice in shoes and hair, though.


Mandy Moore in Temperley London

It’s a bit tight and “naked,” which means if that skirt was shorter, we’d be looking at an ice dancing costume, but we dig the dress and we’re grateful she didn’t do the expected black peeptoe, which almost anyone else would have chosen.


Rose McGowan in Dolce & Gabbana

Unfortunately, we can’t praise Rose here for similar efforts. These are clearly undergarments and those are looking like boudoir heels to us. She’s apparently here to seduce someone. We’re surprised she isn’t wearing an open, sheer, floor-length robe trimmed in maribou and carrying two full Champagne flutes around. Missed opportunity there, girl.


Selma Blair in James Galanos

We don’t think so. Selma’s got a bit of an edge to her, which means she’s particularly well-suited for simple, feminine looks. This is a bit too Robot Girl, especially with the pointy-toed pumps. Too severe.


[Photo Credit: Getty]

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  • Jamie King’s shoes are HORRIBLE. Otherwise, I’d say she wins this round.

    • I agree totally!

    • Anonymous

      Love the dress. Can’t forgive the shoes or gym hair though.

      • Anonymous

        Agree so much. Those shoes are FUG! The hair looks like she put it up to get in the shower and forgot to let it down. Shame, because that’s a great little dress there.

    • Anonymous


    • Anonymous

      The shoes remind me of Romper Stompers.   My fellow 40+ fawns are nodding in agreement.

  • Sobaika Mirza

    Mandy Moore looks precious in a non-twee way. I wonder when she’ll stop being 16 in my mind?

    The rest are rather forgettable.

  • Sarah Thomas

    Champagne FLATS, please.

  • Anonymous

    WOW that is certainly not Selma’s neckline. I can’t imagine her looking in the mirror and thinking that was a good idea. 

  • Anonymous

    Andrea Riseborough: Disney Princess is precisely where my mind went before I even read your take.

  • Gotta disagree on Selma – I think she looks fab here!

  • “She’s apparently here to seduce someone.” – Captain and Major Obvious say this about the woman who showed up on the red carpet essentially naked, with Marilyn Manson. 
    Mandy Moore – the top of that dress makes her boobs look flattened. Otherwise, like. 
    Eva Longoria – expected, but still. Dang. I can even forgive the side hair since it’s ALMOST sort of natural. 
    Andrea Riseborough – yeah, princessy. VERY princessy. But then, can you blame a girl for wanting to do it once? It really is pretty. 
    Chloe Moritz – she’s such a cute girl. She needs to become BFF with Hailey Steinfeld and find her true style potential. There’s time, there’s time. 

  • Anonymous

    Selma Blair’s severity almost makes her look like Madeline Kahn as Mrs. White in the movie “Clue”, a movie which I adore (as well as Madeline Kahn – RIP!), but I seriously doubt that was the effect Selma was going for!

    • Anonymous

      “…flames…flames, FLAMES on the side of my face…”

      • Anonymous

        I was SO hoping someone would go there – YES!

        • Anonymous

          She was a genius.

          • Anonymous

            Totally, a brilliant comedic actress!

    • Anonymous

      “Life after death is as improbable as sex after marriage.”

  • Anonymous

    Chloe Moretz hasn’t found her style yet, has she?  She’s all over the place when it comes to the red carpet.

  • Anonymous

    chloe is wearing her second grade tap dance costume for the “bumblebee rag” number.  she couldn’t find the head piece with the sparkly antennae though.  jaime’s dress would look much better if the sheer extended only 2 or 3 inches below the opaque fabric.  are you taking notes, mr. klein?  

    • elvira maricic

      All she needs is some Minnie Mouse ears, cause it looks like she already has a tail… She is cute, though.

  • And boys? Awards season is just about upon us, so do your blogging push-ups and get ready, because we’re gonna have some opinions. 

  • Anonymous

    @More:disqus …..

  • Anonymous

    Has Eva had some work done?  When my eye skimmed down, I thought she was a Kardashian.  Whoops.

    • Anonymous

      I thought the same thing!  Not good!

  • Anonymous

    Jamie Kings look would WERQ with different hair. Maybe it’s the picture but in this picture you lose her and only see the dress. 

  • Anonymous

    It makes me feel so much better about myself to hear you’re hooked on Once Upon a Time, too! 

  • Maybe it’s her stance, but Andrea’s dress looks lopsided.
    Eva Longoria bugs me to no end, but yowza! She looks incredible.
    Rose McGowan has never recovered from her time with Marilyn Manson.
    Chloe is a little girl. I’ll save my criticisms for whoever dresses her.
    Mandy Moore looks good, if a bit underdressed. Love the shoes.
    Jamie almost takes the win, but those shoes have got to go.
    Selma looks ridiculous.

  • Laurie Bergman

    I’m getting a distinct Linda Dano vibe from Selma Blair. And Jaime King’s dress looks a little too placemats-over-the-tablecloth for my taste.  But I do love Mandy and her red patent pumps.

  • Anonymous

    “Aren’t we magnanimous,”

    You are princes among men.

  • Anonymous

    Nothing much to write home about here, but I do think Mandy Moore looks good (LOVE the red shoes with that dress!), and although Eva Longoria’s look might be expected, it is pretty amazing, no?  I think she looks fantastic.

    Loved your on-the-money comments about Rose McGowan.  Won’t the satin pumps please, PLEASE go away?  Or at least to the bridal section?…

  • Anonymous

    I love that Calvin Klein dress but yikes, was that the wrong hair!
    Nothing else really strikes me as mentionable….

  • How did Eva Longeria score that soft focus lens on her face? Time to get my vision checked again.

    That pink monstrocity on Andrea Riseborough is horrible. It reminds me of the dress that Harry Dean Stanton bought for Molly Ringwald in Pretty in Pink (which she mutilated along with Annie Potts’ divine ’60s frock to create a polka dotted hefty sack prom dress. But I digress…).

    • Oh my God, that dress from Pretty in Pink. I wish I could say it only looks bad in hindsight, but I saw PiP early on. It was always hideous. I’d rather have worn the dress Harry Dean Stanton bought in its original form.

      P.S. I love Harry Dean Stanton and will watch him in anything.

  • Anonymous

    So for an event called the STYLE awards, I’m seeing precious little style. Does Style actually stand for some company that sponsors stuff and thus needs to be recognized, or something like that?

    Andrea Riseborough: The problem with voluminous skirts is that having your arms hang down by your sides ruins the shape. It also seems a touch too short for me. Plus, you know, Disney-esque.

    Jamie King: My favorite of the lot, at least based on the dress. The shoes are tragic.

    None of the others are worth mentioning, really.

  • Anonymous

    Anyway, we seem to have wandered off for a bit Always stay on the path, guys!

    Jamie King’s dress, clunky shoes and hair are giving me a mid to late 90’s vibe and not in a good way.

  • Anonymous

    Eva may be expected…but damn, I’d fill my closet with Victoria’s dresses if I were her. Great fit. Plus that pose makes her look 6 inches taller than she really is; short girls take note.

  • I can’t stop watching Once Upon a Time either! It’s definitely not the best show, but it is addictive.

  • wait…is no one going to comment on the extremely unfortunate shadow on Mandy Moore’s girl area which totally looks like she’s got a 60’s attitude toward waxing?  It’s…. oh dear….

  • That’s the best description of “Once Upon a Time” I’ve heard yet (except you left off the pedestrian writing). I keep hearing people raving about the show and even though I’ve been watching I don’t think it’s actually very good.

  • Anonymous

    How nice that Chloe’s mom made her a costume.

  • BerlinerNYC

    I LOVE Selma Blair’s look. So in character. The bottom of that dress is fierce. And she’s a new mother. Work that fierce mother shit.

    Mandy Moore surprises me, but then she does keep doing that now and again.

  • Anonymous

    Eva Longoria in Victoria Beckham looks great and definitely the best of all pictured.

  • Anonymous

    There sure is a big herd of ugly parading down the red carpets recently. Only one I like here is Mandy Moore — I think she looks great. Longoria looks good, but it’s boring.

  • Anonymous

    Rose McGowan’s dress reminds me of when I was 5 years old and used to play dress-up in my grandmother’s slips.

    Also, I’m happy enough to see Chloe Moretz not dressed like *she’s* here to seduce someone that I can totally go with the bumblebee costume.

  • all i can say is that my life is pretty plain i like watchin’ the puddles gather rain

    • Anonymous

      Aww, the bee girl!  🙂

  • Anonymous

    I’m all in favor of cutting these very young celebrities some slack, and I would never want to damage their burgeoning self esteem, but Chloe Moritz looks ridiculous here.  Halloween is over, time to put on real clothes.

  • Anonymous

    I don’t care if it’s expected, Eva looks the best by far!

  • oohsparkley!

    Selma looks like Mrs. K-Jenner, mother of the un-mentionables.  I doubt she’d think that was a good thing.

  • Anonymous

    *still giggling about the Rose McGowan remarks* That Calvin Klein dress is terrific on Jaime King. Too bad about the yoga hair and bad make-up.

  • Rose McGowan always looks like she’s trying too hard. 

  • In response to your comment under the first picture, you should start reviewing Once Upon a Time!

    • Anonymous

      YES. TLO surely has hysterical things to say about that amazing shit show of awesome.

      • Anonymous

        I would have never guessed the phrase “amazing shit show of awesome” would describe something so perfectly. Totally and unapologetically addicted to OUaT!

  • Anonymous

    Is that Chloe gal wearing strappy summer sandals in the winter with opaque tights?  This needs to be addressed.  right away.  

  • Anonymous

    Selma needs to wear just a little color on her lips. And maybe turn them up at the corner on occasion.

  • Anonymous

    The pink princess Barbie gown and shoes are making my eyes twitch. Selma Blair, honey, you obviously flunked Posing/Style 101. 

  • Anonymous

    Selma Blair shouldn’t wear off-the-shoulder, especially when it’s straight across like that.  Her shoulders are too broad for it.

  • Anonymous

    Oh Mandy Moore! You are so perky! Are you sure you aren’t secretly the love child of Mary Tyler Moore??

    And, I thought she looked lovely. The red shoes were perfect.

  • Anonymous

    After all of the color and flounciness of the Latin awards, these are such a letdown.

  • Anonymous

    Too freekin funny!!! You guys are on fire! Still laughing out loud 10 minutes later, I hope I get a chance to use some of these…..

    anywho….looking at Chloe I’m thinking more like 5″

  • spooki C


  • Anonymous

    I like Mandy Moore here and think I would have loved it in an actual colour.

    Had to google Jaime King to remind her who she is.  I swear, I’ve most of her stuff and still can’t remember her.

  • At first glance, I thought Jaime King was Elle Fanning. 

  • MilaXX

    Andrea Riseborough – Galinda the good witch
    Chloe Moretz – Finally looks like a 14 year old.
    Eva Longoria – Nice, but nothing new
    Jaime King – She’s making this dress work. Wish she wasn’t wearing platforms
    Mandy Moore – I like this on her & the shoes were a good idea.
    Rose McGowan – Trying too hard to be sexy.
    Selma Blair – She looks a whole lot better than she did at the Versace party.

  • Anonymous

    Eva Longoria, yow! She looks fabulous. Mandy Moore looks adorable. 

  • The shoulders on Selma Blair’s dress make her upper body look vaguely NFL linebacker-esque.

  • Terence Ng

    I like Selma Blaire’s, but agree with y’all on the rest.

  • Anonymous

    Am I the only person who likes pointy toed shoes?  Do I need an intervention?

  • I now do not feel so ashamed of watching Once Upon A Time.  If TLo watches that shit (and, let’s be honest, it’s pretty shitty) it must be OK.  I know, I know, you’ll tell me with this one, “Do as we say, not as we do, Darling.  P.S. Lose the ponytail.  Just because you’re in graduate school doesn’t mean you can be lazy and look as if you’re on a pee-wee soccer team.  You’ll thank us for this.” 😉

  • Oh Selma, darling. You are so striking, and that peasant neckline makes you look like you have linebacker shoulders. Tsk tsk.

  • Anonymous

    Has Longoria been indoctrinated into the Khardashian Cult or something? Selma Selma SELMA.. I think Eddie Izzard wore that SAME look head to toe once.