Hollywood pretty much exploded in red carpet events over the last few days, forcing us to form opinions on a whole boatload of celebrities who want nothing more in life than our approval. It’s for them that we do this. And the children, of course.
Andrea Riseborough in Dolce & Gabbana
We believe we’ve criticized her in the past for underplaying her makeup, but now that we see her with played-up makeup, we think we were wrong about that one. See? Aren’t we magnanimous, darlings? Unfortunately, that dress paired with those shoes are making her look like one of the extras in a ballroom or wedding scene in that Once Upon a Time show, which we inexplicably can’t stop watching, even though the CGI is horrendous, the fairy tale costumes look like rentals, and the acting is subpar, to say the least.
Anyway, we seem to have wandered off for a bit, but what we’re saying here is this is way too Disney Princess for us.
Chloe Moretz in Miu Miu
Oh, sweetie. Look at you, you adorable little bumblebee. We think the proportions here would be horrifyingly bad on practically anyone else, but they’re only a hair off on her. High-waisted and flared suits her, but that skirt should drop down an inch or so. Also, we think the top would look better if it was more fitted.
Eva Longoria in Victoria Beckham
Jaime King in Calvin Klein
Unexpected. We don’t like sheers over minis, but we’re digging the mod vibe. Bad choice in shoes and hair, though.
Mandy Moore in Temperley London
It’s a bit tight and “naked,” which means if that skirt was shorter, we’d be looking at an ice dancing costume, but we dig the dress and we’re grateful she didn’t do the expected black peeptoe, which almost anyone else would have chosen.
Rose McGowan in Dolce & Gabbana
Unfortunately, we can’t praise Rose here for similar efforts. These are clearly undergarments and those are looking like boudoir heels to us. She’s apparently here to seduce someone. We’re surprised she isn’t wearing an open, sheer, floor-length robe trimmed in maribou and carrying two full Champagne flutes around. Missed opportunity there, girl.
Selma Blair in James Galanos
We don’t think so. Selma’s got a bit of an edge to her, which means she’s particularly well-suited for simple, feminine looks. This is a bit too Robot Girl, especially with the pointy-toed pumps. Too severe.
[Photo Credit: Getty]