Pairs Division: Keys and Beatz

Posted on October 20, 2011

Mr. and Mrs. Beatz are apparently reviving Janet’s Rhythm Nation.

Alicia Keys and Swizz BeatzAlicia Keys and Swizz Beatz attend “The Mountaintop” Broadway opening night in New York City. Swizz Beatz wears 3.1 Philip Lim coat.

Alicia Keys and Swizz Beatz

Alicia Keys and Swizz Beatz

3.1 Philip Lim Black Leather Braid Biker Sleeve Pea Coat

Alicia Keys and Swizz Beatz

HE: Is wearing our jacket. Seriously, Swizz. Hand it over and there won’t be any trouble. Actually, we’ll let you keep that one because we’re thinking the all-black one belongs to us. We really love this look, especially paired with a tie like that; a great way to combine the traditional with the edgy and still look impeccable. We cannot, however, get behind the length of those pants. For shame, Swizz. Score: 8/10. Oh, Swizz. This could have been perfect with some tailored pants. Still, major points for pairing. And just because we like saying “Swizz” a lot.

SHE: Looks like a perky realtor borrowing her goth daughter’s purse for a night out. This is an extremely mismatched set of pieces. We’re sorry, Mrs. Beatz, but those pants are not doing you any favors, especially when you pair them with an equally as tight, slightly sheer top. We’re pretty sure we can see the zipper straining and honey, that’s a huge no when you’re having your picture taken. That’s a huge no, period. We like the jacket and we like the shoes, but they really don’t go well with the rest of the outfit and the purse seems to be coming out of left field. Score: 4/10.

Combined Score: 6/10. Girl, your man is doing all the work here.

 

Source: “Swizz Beatz at ‘The Mountaintop’ Broadway opening night in 3.1 Phillip Lim” [OOoOO]

[Photo Credit: Wireimage, my-wardrobe.com]

    • Kate Pearce

      But they look so happy…bless…

    • http://pulse.yahoo.com/_AYQCICXEN2CCDBFV5HED4Z2RUA Dee B

      Besides the pants being too tight, there’s nothing wrong with the shape of them.  As a black/biracial woman she’s not a part of that culture that goes, “Hips? Honey NO!” so that’s not an issue.  Where she loses is that extra big, super boxy jacket that hides any shape at all she has on top.  

      • scottyf

        I might get my black card revoked (and the crap beat out of me by you mocha divas), but wouldn’t you say that sisters still wonder whether their hips are too big–they/we just have a different ratio than white women? Curvy seems to be celebrated a lot more in our culture, but when I’m out with my women friends of color, they still comment on hip and butt size.

        Mr. Beats would have been perfect if the sleeves were a little shorter, and the pants tailored and worn on the outside of the boot. However it makes the point again that dudes of color take more risks on the RC than their white counterparts.

        And looking happy and in love should add at least a point to their scores Soul Brothers. :-)

        • Sobaika Mirza

          I am going to try and work ‘mocha divas’ into daily conversation.

        • Anonymous

          Speaking very generally, you hit the nail on the head scottyf.. us mocha divas (ha haaa) do worry about size even if curvy is more acceptable in our community.

          Alicia is such a beautiful woman and this outfit is doing her no favors, but that seems to be par for the course with her. Swizz looks cool, though I do like that jacket better in all black.

        • http://twitter.com/DarthJaeda Jaeda Laurez

          We wonder if our ratio goes down…it’s okay to have hips and booty, but not a booty-do, if you know what I’m saying lol. 

          I do think we dress for a different audience (generally speaking, of course), where having a prominent booty or hips is like “YAAAAAAAAASSS!!!” as opposed to “you know, she should really go up a size, because that makes her thighs look soooooo big.” Which, as you know, was probably the intention in the first place, but seen through a different cultural prism, leads to Shelly O- type posts and “arhggljgoigoiogihiohg ALLCAPSLOCKALLDAY” type anger on both sides lol.   

          They do look happy, but that’s probably because nobody outside of YBF heard about his little sexting escapades with that chick out of ATL lol. *sips tea*

          • scottyf

            Now you gon’ get YOUR black card revoked by bringing up the “booty-do!!!” :-D

          • Anonymous

            I see you slipping that little bit of reality in there as you gracefully lift the tea in your (no doubt perfectly manicured) hand!

        • Anonymous

          Scotty, did you see Larry Wilmore’s black card “commentary” on The Daily Show last night?

          • scottyf

            I think my favorite part (as is often the case) is Jon Stewart’s reaction upon learning that there is a black card.

    • http://pulse.yahoo.com/_2VBWWGHZEBKTVQMXE5SO5NCU2I Mich

      i have to admit i like her purse, but i love clothing and accessories that can double as weaponry.

    • Anonymous

      Alicia Keys has one of the world’s most beautiful faces.   We should just bask in her smile and try to forget that she has no fashion sense at all.  

      • Anonymous

        You said it!  She is just breathtakingly beautiful.  And that’s despite the “perky realtor” (so perfect!) outfit. And that horrible bag. And those godawful shoes.

        Count me among those few who do not like Swizz’s jacket. It’s goofy-lookin’!  (That’s an actual fashion critique phrase!)

        But here’s the deal: They look so happy together, and they’re both so pretty, and they look so down to earth that I am willing to throw out all the scorecards and just give them a bye.

    • http://twitter.com/bredalot Bridget Smith

      I love her jacket, but it clashes weirdly with his. And while I certainly don’t think couples need to (or even SHOULD) go matchy-matchy, if you’re going to be walking a red carpet and taking pictures together, you should probably make sure you at least don’t make each other’s outfits look worse.

      They, however, are adorable together. Look how happy!

    • Sobaika Mirza

      She just needs to go up a size. Other than that, they both look fun, edgy, and happy!

    • http://www.facebook.com/charlotte.horseman Charlotte Horseman

      This is a tough one because – first of all….they look so happy and in love and that looks great on them both!! 
      Second, she is talented to the nth degree and that makes it easy for me to accept her in less than perfect outfits.  It doesn’t bother me for some reason – the way it does when we are assessing “stars” who are little more than their looks and clothes.  When that’s ALL you have to go on - you throw the book at them!

    • MilaXX

      Completely agree with the score here. Alicia Keys cannot dress to save her life, but her hubs could have save his look if his pants fit correctly.

    • Anonymous

      Wow, I really hate his jacket. It’s like the mullet of jackets. Business in the front, party on the sleeves? Or like the man’s version of that dress we all hated that was half one dress, half another completely different one. Not digging it.
      I’m glad she looks so happy and all, but that outfit is horrendous. I can’t even.  

    • http://www.facebook.com/people/Sterlyn-Bumgarner/521235804 Sterlyn Bumgarner

      Her bag is Louboutin…he should stick with shoes

    • Anonymous

      “Perky realtor” is so exquisitely perfect that I’m in awe.

      As for his jacket, which you described as “ours,” both of you wouldn’t wear them at the same time would you?

    • Anonymous

      I love his jacket, I so wish I could wear that but alas……  I don’t care for that jacket on her but wish we could see more of her sexy curves.  That is one thing many black and biracial women seem to have in spades: the self confidence to acknowledge thier curves and show that shit off!  The zipper does look a scoosh puckered but I think that is more posture than fit.  When your man has you firmly in his “nook” like that sometimes you end up hunching slightly forward.  4/10?  Harsh………

    • Anonymous

      She’s pretty and I don’t dislike her outfit.  Her pants are too tight, but nothing’s hanging out anywhere, so that’s all good.  But that purse is just silly.  

    • Anonymous

      I hope he doesn’t try to put his hand on her shoulder or he will be impaled.

      I have more trouble with the shoes than with the perky realtor outfit. She looks pretty and happy. I might like his jacket better in the all black version, but this one looks a little schizo.

      • Anonymous

        That’s the bag you want when your message is, “This shoulder is NOT for crying on.”  Terrifying.

        Love his jacket though.

    • http://joyouslifesf.wordpress.com Kiltdntiltd

      I agree TLo about that jacket.  You may have to fight me for it.  But in this case I think it doesn’t quite fit him. it looks too big and surely too long in the sleeve.  And the pant? Tragically too long.  But I love the overall look and my only other wish is that more men of little color, (like me) would take a lesson from or brothers of more color and step up to the fashion plate, and take some risks.

      Now Alicia, besides being almost too beautiful for words, I’m not lovin’ that jacket.  It seems at odds with the rest of her ensemble. But like her hubbin’ she’s got so much classy and cool going on I forgive her.

    • Anonymous

      It might be just me, but I can’t help thinking that pants that tight would be the worst possible choice for sitting through a 2-hour play. 

    • Anonymous

      He is dressed fabulously, but there are length issues with pants/sleeve. You know, I’ve always wondered if that is so commonplace  because the clothes are borrowed (for the most part) and therefore, really can’t be hemmed or altered too much. Similar issue with the ladies’ shoes, which sometimes appear to be too big (obviously not an alteration issue!). Anyway, the jacket is ba-na-nas. 

      She is gorgeous and incredibly talented, but poorly dressed. She needs to employ his stylist.

      Do you think she calls him ‘Swizz’ around the house? In bed?

    • Anonymous

      Wait? She aint gay???!!

      • http://joyouslifesf.wordpress.com Kiltdntiltd

        Looks like not.  But then again, as we have seen countless times, appearances are deceiving.

        • vix eljay

          If she is, she certainly took an ill-advised route to avoiding the issue by shacking up with Mr. Married-at-the-time Beatz.   Now she’s got the homewrecker label wherever she goes.

      • Anonymous

        Oh, I suspect an awful lot of the world is, deep down, kinda bi- and just falls on the side of the line that works best at the time. Maybe if she’d just met the right girl first . . .

    • Stefanos Mantyla

      I just do not get that bag and those shoes! Jacket has nice colour, but that is it. The rest is just bad!

    • Anonymous

      Except for his pants length, he looks great.  I do like the jacket better in black, but I think he made the right choice.

      She looks like she picked up whatever was lying on the floor and squeezed into it.  I would take her shoes as the inspiration and put an outfit together around them.

    • http://profiles.google.com/sara.e.munoz Sara Munoz

      His jacket is TO DIE. 

      But to TLo, I want to say “This is not your jacket”. Love you though! 

      • http://pulse.yahoo.com/_EDI2DLE7DE3YPW2ONIHBWOVHMA ecallaw

        Huh.  Why?

    • Anonymous

      Oh no, Ms Keys, that look is just a million kinds of awful.  That color of green is giving me a PTSD episode.  Bad late 80s, oh gawd, so bad.

    • Anonymous

      Swizz’s jacket would be perfect for my tv pilot “Son of Monarchy”. Rich banker by day, rough biker by night.

      • http://www.GiftedCollector.com Nancy Abrams

        He looks like he went shopping in John Waters’ closet.

    • http://pulse.yahoo.com/_EDI2DLE7DE3YPW2ONIHBWOVHMA ecallaw

      LOVE his jacket in the all-black.

    • Sara__B

      I thought Mr. Beatz was posing with a fan. He looks like a celebrity and she looks like one of us.

    • Anonymous

      Alicia may be in “new mom doing the best I can for the moment” mode.  So I’m inclined to give her a pass and assume she’ll get her fabulousness back soon.

    • Anonymous

      I’d give her a 10 for the smile alone and him a 10 for having the obvious love of such a beautiful woman.

      • Anonymous

        Ha! I was typing something about the smiles the same time you were! Isn’t it nice to see happiness on the red carpet instead of posturing?

      • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=1326120071 Gaby Ripoll

        Yeah, I love Ms. Keys. I wish her outfit reflected her beauty more, because she always effervesces. 

      • vix eljay

        I’d drop the 10 from him for cheating on his wife to take up with Alicia, though.  Not cool.

    • Anonymous

      At first I thought your scoring was too harsh for her, but then I took a second look. Yeah, 4/10 is about right.

      He looks great, although I prefer the jacket in black.

      Cute couple, though. Maybe I should up the scoring just for those smiles.

    • Anonymous

      Did she forget they were going out and through on the nearest shoes and jacket?

      He looks gooood.

    • Anonymous

      4/10 is still generous for her home-wrecking ass. I can’t stand the sight of her.
      That is the best I have seen Swizz look though.

    • http://www.facebook.com/people/Catherine-Rhodes/602850414 Catherine Rhodes

      While they’re tailoring the pants, the sleeve on the jacket needs to be shortened too. I’d give her a 2.

    • Anonymous

      With your usual astute eye, you homed right in on the fact that the jacket is much better in black.

      Of course, I have a thing against jackets with mismatched body & sleeve fabric, they remind me of high school letter jackets which, while they might have a certain campus cachet, are never going to make me swoon on a grown man.

      Him: I’ll go with your 8/10. But it’s a near thing; nothing else he’s wearing picks up the edge of the accent lacing(?) and zippers on those sleeves and they come thisclose to being over-the-top, in context.

      Her: You were just, and your justice was tempered with kindness. That purse with that outfit is worth a 4 or 5 point deduction all on it’s own. I  will let your 4/10, and with it the combined score of 6/10.

      Fortunately, her man probably values her charms more highly than the charms of her ensemble.

    • oohsparkley!

      4!  That’s harsh.  Are they just out for the night, or are they “working” this event?  I’m glad I’m not famous, I’d probably get a max 5.5 on my best day (and I love fashion…in my case, more accurately clothes, jewelry, boots, sandals).

    • Anonymous

      That jacket is a bit like a mullet: “business in the front,  party in the back” and I don’t like mullets either.

    • Anonymous

      Hate, hate, hate the purse.

    • Anonymous

      That purse pains me.

    • Anonymous

      That black-on-black jacket is mega-fabulous.  I like his too, but I can’t really wear that color…and I would wear the b/b without a second thought to how manly it made me look LOL.  I’d just carry Alicia’s purse and offer to puncture a bitch if she commented!

    • Anonymous

      Alicia is a “normal” (i.e., not stick thin) sized woman who has solid legs a pronounced pear shape (fyi, so does her mother, so it’s not about her being half black).  There’s nothing wrong with that, but it does mean that, just like Kim Kardashian (for different body type reasons), she has to take care to find what works and what doesn’t.  To date, she simply has not, and as a result, her outfits are more miss than hit.  She also seems to struggle with putting a great ensemble together, and all too often she winds up looking exactly like “real estate mom borrowing her daughter’s stuff” or a bit cheap (and in this case, both). She needs a decent stylist.

    • Anonymous

      She is so beautiful…how could she fug it up by wearing these horrible clothes (and by having that icky dude on her arm – c’mon, Alicia. You deserve someone as beautiful and talented as you are.)?!? Dangit.

    • Anonymous

      Hee hee! Giggling because you, T Lo, just proclaimed your love for a peacoat. A peacoat! I’m just gently teasing you because, well, you gave me an opportunity to. Still adore The T Lo to the point of blind worship!

    • Anonymous

      Love his jacket so very much. If the sleeves were a bit shorter and the length of the pants fixed his outfit would be perfect. 
      She is not looking so good. Face and hair are pretty but everything else just looks like cheap 80′s redux.

    • Anonymous

      If they have children, will they be Swizzle Sticks?

      Love his look, hate hers.  ‘Nuff said.

    • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=1326120071 Gaby Ripoll

      On Swizz: A fuller pant would have made it better, for me. I think it’d play up some of the more traditional aspects of the jacket. 
      On Keys: Oh I just don’t know what to do with her.

    • Anonymous

      At first I thought the spikes were part of the jacket a la Adam Lambert, and I was about to get very excited.  I am so disappointed right now.

    • Vaniljekjeks

      He looks great… I like her bag.  

    • Anonymous

      LOL.  Alicia has always been a bit deficient in the styling department.  Fortunately, what she lacks in style she makes up for in musical talent.