Pairs Division: Greene and Pattinson

Posted on October 25, 2011

Hey, you guys! Let’s get in on a little of that Twilight action. We hear it’s all the rage with the teens.

 

Ashley Green and Robert Pattinson attend “The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn – Part 2″ Premiere in Paris. Ashley Greene wears dress and necklace by Givenchy. Robert Pattinson wears Dolce & Gabbana.

Givenchy Spring 2012 CollectionGivenchy Spring 2012 Collection

Givenchy Resort 2012 CollectionGivenchy Resort 2012 Collection

 

SHE: Is wearing her “Very Serious Actress” dress. We like the color on her and we applaud the attempt to wear something grownup, but wow, there’s a lot going on in that bodice. At least one of those elements could have been removed. She’s all front-heavy. And that thing around her neck is ridiculous. Sweetie, we hate to say it, but you’re giving off the distinct whiff of “fashion victim” with this one. The shoes are all wrong here. Your makeup’s pretty, though. Score: 5/10. Sorry, girl, but we’re not seeing much evidence of someone who knows how to put a look together.

HE: Has bathed recently. We can tell. He’s giving off that soapy glow. We shouldn’t really award points based on hygiene, but with this one, it’s a step in the right direction. But gentlemen, we are going to have to put our feet down because this is becoming a red carpet thing: if you’re going to eschew a tie, then your suit and shirt better be fascinating and they better fit like a dream. Also, your collar needs to be starched. You, Robert Pattinson, have failed on all fronts. Your suit is total First Year Associate, your shirt is drab and your collar is limp. George Clooney can get away with this look. You can’t. Score: 4/10.

Combined Score: 4.5/10. Oh, kids. You’re going to have to try harder than this.

[Photo Credit: Pascal Le Segretain/Getty Images, style.com, elle.com]

 

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  • http://twitter.com/OperaSickness Opera Sickness

    Why would anyone wear any necklace with that dress, let alone such a heavy one?

    • Anonymous

      I think she was trying to put some black up top because she wanted to wear black shoes. 

  • Anonymous

    SHE: My big issue is your first sentence “Is wearing her “Very Serious Actress” dress.” EXACTLY…to a Twilight event.  Twilight and serious actress is an oxymoron.  On that alone, I can’t get behind the dress 4/10

    HE: The facial hair, untied shoes, and overall slimeball-iness of it.  Enough said. 3/10 being generous.

    3.5/10.  TLo, you’re too nice. lol.

  • Anonymous

    That necklace is hideous.

    He is a mess.  Ick.

  • http://twitter.com/stellaphone Stella Zawistowski

    What a heavy, bulky mess. Next to a scruffy, blah mess. Yecch.

  • Anonymous

    This whole thing just gives me a sad.

  • Anonymous

    George didn’t get away with that look either, imo.  ;P

    Robert P. skeeves me, so I’ll not even attempt a critique since it’s biased. 

    She…pretty girl.  Too bad she has no gays, nor no sense of styling an outfit.  The shoes and thing around her neck are bad. bad.  I like the dress, on the model and with the shrug.  It’s interesting…just seems heavy and overwhelming on Ashley. 

  • Anonymous

    Does she not own a mirror?  Or perhaps it’s a tiny one in her makeup case.  That’s the only way I could understand why she thought she looked good in that dress (with those shoes) and that the necklace was a good finishing touch.

  • Anonymous

    oh gawd.  T Lo, I would have given much lower scores.  You are too kind.

  • Anonymous

    She: At first glace I thought the necklace was a backstage pass on a lanyard, or something to that effect, and not part of the outfit.  Oh dear.  Waaay too much dress for her, too. 

    He: Needs to buy a clue.

  • Anonymous

    He looks like he’s already taken part in the drinking game I have every time I hold a “Twilight Saga” MST3K party. 

    • http://twitter.com/ms_smartiepants Beth M.

      An MST3K party is the only way anyone would ever get me to watch one of those movies!

    • Anonymous

      Oh man, can we talk about the sacred work the Rifftrax guys have been doing to every single one of these horrid movies?

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Jessica-TallGirl-Freeman/1043623567 Jessica TallGirl Freeman

    The dress wasnt’ horrible on its own, but that necklace is ridiculous.  I was thinking those key lanyards were making their way back into fashion…

  • Anonymous

    Is she wearing a giant leather shark tooth as a necklace? That is one WTF piece of adornment. After Harry Potter Mr. P. has managed to consistently look either douchey or pasty or both; he has used up all the Cedric Diggory goodwill I had for him. Good thing you found it in your heart to award some hygiene points. He needed them.

    • http://twitter.com/ILikeShiny Cindi Williams

      Cedric Diggory is the second hottest non-main character in HP for sure (first obviously being Oliver Wood as played by Sean Biggerstaff. Yes, all my gay friends *love* his last name, and his hotness). After HP, well, le sigh.

      • Anonymous

        Yup. Sean’s a Keeper alright!

        • Anonymous

          I love you for that. :)

      • Anonymous

        Matthew Lewis has lapped RPatz.   Twice.   End of story.

        • http://twitter.com/ILikeShiny Cindi Williams

          I know there is a serious pocket of Matthew Lewis lovers, but he just doesn’t do it for me. Glad he does it for others, though. :)

          • Anonymous

            Honestly in my book Matthew Lewis takes one of the top slots less because of the finished product and more because of the transformation it took to get there.

            As for the Twilight crew, RPatz looks distinctly unhappy to be there, which doesn’t surprise me in the least, and I can’t tell if Ashley Greene is trying way too hard or not trying at all. Either way, it doesn’t work.

  • http://profiles.google.com/trashilove { edi } ilovetrash

    how does someone given so much opportunity–ie: for one, the opportunity to have a stunning givenchy suit repurposed, restyled & remade in a completely different color, no f’ing less–make that givenchy suit look as bad as any givenchy suit has ever looked, even one from the 80s?

    & oh, are we not the target market for rpattinson. were we, we wouldnt care what he wore. & he, & his people, must truly certainly know that.

  • Anonymous

    That necklace looks like a mid 50s lady office manager carrying the staff washroom key around her neck.

  • Sara__B

    She: Usually a scroll down fug gets a lot farther than the chin before the fug starts. The head is about 1/5 of the body; 2/10 for shiny hair and pretty make up.

    He: Awful, as usual. 1/10 for cleanliness, but even that seems high.

  • Anonymous

    Peplums are awful. Even if you are famous.

    • Anonymous

      Agree!

    • Anonymous

      Disagree.  Jillian made some gorgeous peplum sweaters.   Gorgeous!   Balance for the top heavy – if it hits in the right place

  • http://profiles.google.com/misslauraschultz Laura Schultz

    I think I actually like the dress, because she’s got a rockin’ bod and can pull it off. Unsure how I feel about the necklace. I love it on its own but I guess it is too much with that dress. 

    Pattinson – I’m bothered. 

  • Anonymous

    That dress needs the…bolero?  Sleeves and collar?  Shrug?  Whatever you call it, it gives the look the feel of suiting which mitigates the very feminine elements of the dress, i.e., the peplum and sternum ruffle. 

    Pattinson looks like he just auditioned for the part of drunk spouse in the next Lifetime movie.  One sloppy touch in a look can give it a little sex appeal, but when you have messy hair, an unbuttoned shirt and facial hair grown in to varied degrees you end up looking flat out bad. 

  • Anonymous

    The Pretty Girl:  It’s a very odd choice with that heavy necklace made from her dad’s belt and her little brother’s shark tooth collection, but that navy dress is so damn gorgeous on her that I will forgive a little bit. 6.5/10

    The Vampire:  He actually looks cute in the first picture, something I’ve never thought about RPatt. But he blew it on the shirt with the overly casual fabric, poor color choice and pathetic collar. It’s a very nice suit, but the pants are way too long. Go look at Harry Shum Jr. if you need some inspiration, kid. 4.5/10

  • Anonymous

    She is wearing Walmart shoes, the dress works better with the shrug and not that hiddy necklace thing.  And he is stoned.

    I have never understood his appeal.

  • Anonymous

    Just…yikes.

  • Anonymous

    She’s a tiny thing, and that froofraw on the bodice is overwhelming her.  The necklace might look good with a white cashmere turtleneck, but it’s too long and heavy for this dress.

  • http://twitter.com/#!/Space_Kitty Space Kitty

    Oh good lord Pattinson.  All that money and exposure and you still can’t do a red carpet?  Go back to your couch and bong and make room for someone who can at least pretend they want to be there.

  • Anonymous

    I don’t get the hoopla about Pattinson. Once Cedric Diggory died, it was all downhill. (Potterhead? Moi? Never.)

    That necklace is TERRIBLE. It looks like a key lanyard. Those don’t look good on anyone, even in jeans and a tshirt. The dress is quite nice though, and her makeup looks clean and polished. The hair is “air dried on the way out of the gym”. Shoes aren’t ugly but they’re boring. I’d rather have seen ugly shoes. 

    • Anonymous

      I’m with you all the way on Pattinson. It wasn’t until the second time I saw the Potter series that I realized he was that Twilight guy (I love a good vampire story–Anne Rice, Steven King–NOT Twilight). He cleaned up a little for Elephants but not that much.

  • Anonymous

    Honestly, I thought that necklace was something on a lanyard that looked like a backstage pass or something.  WTF is up with that necklace?

  • http://profiles.google.com/ballinger.jl Jessica Ballinger

    It looks like a key lanyard with a… shark tooth?  

  • http://twitter.com/TheRedZavodnik Ginger

    Can we talk about the fit factor on her dress? 

    He looks like he’s been on a 3-day meth bender.

  • Jessica O’Connell

    UGH Twilight. Deserved low marks on that alone. Sorry to all the Twilight fans I just offended but… blech.

  • Anonymous

    He has that determined “they have bathed me YET I RESISTED AT EVERY STAGE” look on his face and it makes me lol.

  • http://twitter.com/MandySCG MandyJane

    The necklace looks like the thing my mom hangs her keys on. Robert Pattinson always looks skeazy to me. I never understood the Twilight hub-bub.

  • Anonymous

    he is so skeevy. 
    I think she is higher than a 5/10 cuz that dress and color and her hair/makeup are killer. It’s really just that dreadful cow bell/saber tooth tiger tooth on shiny leather around her neck that is horrible. No wait, it’s so hideous that you are correct at a 5. 

  • http://twitter.com/DarthJaeda Jaeda Laurez

    I like the dress, but she is not fierce enough to pull that off and she has tried a dress that is a little too much for her before, as I recall. And that necklace was ugly. Her stylist (if she uses one) should have told her no.

    • Anonymous

      Its a Gaga dress. She’d also pair it with her trademark glasses, a fierce hat and black leather opera gloves.

  • Anonymous

    WHY IS HE CHEATING ON BELLA???

    Gotcha, kittens…I don’t give two shits for this Twitard mess.  And they both look stupid.  He looks like he slept in his clothes, and her dress (and pendant) looks like an art school project.

  • http://michjeff-quiltersparadise.blogspot.com/ Michelle Young

    He looks like he is either on drugs or just woke up, and maybe was wearing that suit in bed!  

  • Anonymous

    That thing around her neck IS ridiculous!!  And I like that dress a lot better with the shrug. 

  • Anonymous

    At least he looks human again, but he will never look as good as he did when he was in Harry Potter.  I don’t even know who she is. And you’re right, that stupid thing is ridiculous, almost as ridiculous as Angelina and Billy-Bob’s blood lockets.

  • Anonymous

    Not even George could pull of that collar…

  • http://twitter.com/turtleemily Turtle Emily

    Is the pendant supposed to be a shark tooth?

  • Vaniljekjeks

    She looks weird.   I just want to punch him in the face for no particular reason at all.  I just don’t like the way he exists. 

  • iCouture

    Sorry to get off track here, but how can people think he is a heartthrob?  No. 

  • Anonymous

    Dear Mr. Pattison:  Visibly stoned is not cute.

  • Anonymous

    Why does RoPa look so different? Is it botox? Another nose job? Something is wayyy off.

  • Anonymous

    Why did Givenchy feel the need to make a big ol’ vagina pointer-outer? I’m sorry but WTH, Givenchy, WHT?!?

    • Anonymous

      aaaaaaaaahahahahahahahahaha!

  • Cheri Lee

    That necklace just seems like an after thought and a stupid one at that.

  • Cheri Lee

    That necklace just seems like an after thought and a stupid one at that.

  • MilaXX

    Even removing the necklace I think she’s a little busty for this look & I hate the ankle straps with that skirt. Best thing about him may be the fact that he bathed or at least threw water in his general direction.

  • Anonymous

    the necklace looks like a lanyard you’d wear at a business conference. actually, it looks worse. it’s terrible.

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Catherine-Rhodes/602850414 Catherine Rhodes

    You failed to mention the hem on his pants. Don’t you think you’re being generous with that 4? What does a gent have to do to get marked with a 2?

  • Anonymous

    RPatz looks baked off his ass.

    • Anonymous

      I’d think you’d have to be, to deal with acting in/promoting Twilight. He just gives off a DGAF vibe.

      • Anonymous

        Good point. I know I’d have to be shitfaced to go see a Twilight movie.

        • Anonymous

          Given that he openly and vocally hates the franchise and its fans? Yeah, I’d try to get into an altered state of being as well. Of course, I am also not a professional actor being paid obscene amounts of money to wear fabulous clothes, and as such what I would do and what he should do are very different things.

  • Anonymous

    This is just…sad. 4/10

  • Leonardo Alves

    The 4 he got for being good-looking!
    If it was somebody else, would be a 2!

  • Joshua

    Ouch, that is one of the worst shirt collars I have ever seen. O_o

  • Anonymous

    He has the repulsive, sketchy type look down pat.

  • Anonymous

    All I can see when I look at that dress is giant navy blue labia.

    • Anonymous

      THANK you!

  • Anonymous

    And his SHOE IS UNTIED. Gaaah.

  • Anonymous

    That thing around her neck seems like an expensive version of those name tags you get if you’re working in a high security area.

  • Anonymous

    Holy FUCK, RPattz is PISSED! There’s so much rage radiating from that sneer in that first solo shot. I can’t even comment on anything else, too busy reeling back from my screen. 

  • Anonymous

    I like the shoes, not sure about with this outfit.  It’s hard to tell, because I don’t like the dress at all, except for the color.  and the length.  actually, looking at it, it looks like a work dress to me.  Just throw on the black jacket kept at work for emergencies, and run to a meeting!

    But what shoes would work, if these ones don’t?

  • Anonymous

    Argh.  He finally has a hair cut and style I like, and then grows gross scruff.  He’s the male version of the Angelina effect.  The only nice thing I can say about her outfit is I like the fit on the skirt.  Her grooming is perfect, though. Just the right balance of youth and polish.

  • Anonymous

    That necklace just needs a key card attached to the front.  

  • Anonymous

    She ruined her almost-cool dress with a giant Shark Week Conference 2011 lanyard. Mess. She is amazingly pretty, though, so I can’t feel too bad for her. Pattinson looks so stoned.

  • Anonymous

    a hot mess.  Emphasis on mess.

  • http://twitter.com/0001909 ∆ .

    TLo, I can’t see anything using Safari web browser.  This has been a recurring problem for me (but my browser doesn’t have any problems accessing any other sites); maybe you can find someone to fix the coding, which appears to be a little glitchy

  • Greg Yoder

    Did this premiere take place at 4:20?

    It’s been all downhill for him since Cedric Diggory, alas.

  • http://www.facebook.com/brendan.foehr Brendan Foehr

    Is Ashley Greene wearing a shark tooth hall pass? I’ve never seen that before. Huh.

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=1046681022 Paula Berman

    His freakin’ shoelaces are untied.

  • Anonymous

    Ashley Green reeks of so much TRY it’s sad.  All you have to do to look better than Pattinson is take a bath…just look at the poor thing.

  • Anonymous

    That necklace is an overambitious lanyard.

  • Anonymous

    I would love that pendant if it didn’t look like it was hanging on a phone strap.

  • http://pulse.yahoo.com/_GQIN74TNNQROY5JFPOWWBGJWEM andy

    She: Giving a French maid vibe. He: dirtbag. Looks like we have a love connection, people!

  • http://vhanna26.typepad.com Vera

    I was all about wondering why you gave Greene a 5 even though the necklace is fugly. Then I noticed the shoes. Yuck.

    Failing to see all the fuss about Pattinson. Really?

  • http://deeplyproblematic.blogspot.com/ RMJ12345

    The necklace is the wrong length, but I actually like this look for her. Polished & interesting & pretty.

  • LocMama

    All I see is a huge Bagina Bib on the front of her dress. wth…

  • Anonymous

    WOW her face looks REALLY Different! Did they pair he with him so people would know who she was? Holy WOW!