Michael Fassbender, Pulling a Jolie

Posted on October 11, 2011

We already had this post in the pipeline when the commentariat rose up as one and answered the question: “YEA or NAY: Guys in Turtlenecks?” with “MICHAEL FASSBENDER, BITCHES.” And it’s true, the man was a delicious scoop of turtleneck-y goodness in that X-Men movie. He’s a delicious scoop, period. But allow us to shatter your illusions for a second. We can’t help it; we get such a charge out of that.

Behold:

Michael Fassbender at 'Shame' PremiereMichael Fassbender attends the 49th annual New York Film Festival presentation of “Shame” in New York City.

Michael Fassbender at 'Shame' Premiere

Michael Fassbender at 'Shame' Premiere

Now, tamp down your loins for a second, ladies. While it’s true that everything above the neck (i.e., what God gave him) remains deliciously distracting, but everything below the neck is a bit of a tragedy. It’s all great in theory, but everything’s wrinkled and askew. What’s going on with that collar? Why is he wearing Charlie Chaplin’s pants? Why do his shoes look like he wore them on a construction site?

And you should prepare yourselves further, because this is apparently Michael Fassbender putting the effort in. Look at what he looks like when he doesn’t take the time:

Michael Fassbender at 'A Dangerous Method' PremiereMichael Fassbender attends the 49th annual New York Film Festival presentation of “A Dangerous Method” in New York City.

Michael Fassbender at 'A Dangerous Method' Premiere

Michael Fassbender at 'A Dangerous Method' Premiere

This is WRONG; do you hear us, Michael Fassbender? This is what we like to call “Pulling a Jolie,” which is what happens when a celebrity makes the mistake of thinking they’re so gorgeous that they don’t have to put any work in on the style front. And while it’s true you’ll get laid no matter what you’re wearing, it behooves you as a burgeoning star with classic leading man looks to at least have your clothes pressed. And also not to wear shiny suits that look like they should have “DuPont” on the label and shouldn’t be worn within ten feet of an open flame.

[Photo Credit: Marc Stamas, Stephen Lovekin/Getty Images]

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