Michael Fassbender, Pulling a Jolie

Posted on October 11, 2011

We already had this post in the pipeline when the commentariat rose up as one and answered the question: “YEA or NAY: Guys in Turtlenecks?” with “MICHAEL FASSBENDER, BITCHES.” And it’s true, the man was a delicious scoop of turtleneck-y goodness in that X-Men movie. He’s a delicious scoop, period. But allow us to shatter your illusions for a second. We can’t help it; we get such a charge out of that.

Behold:

Michael Fassbender at 'Shame' PremiereMichael Fassbender attends the 49th annual New York Film Festival presentation of “Shame” in New York City.

Michael Fassbender at 'Shame' Premiere

Michael Fassbender at 'Shame' Premiere

Now, tamp down your loins for a second, ladies. While it’s true that everything above the neck (i.e., what God gave him) remains deliciously distracting, but everything below the neck is a bit of a tragedy. It’s all great in theory, but everything’s wrinkled and askew. What’s going on with that collar? Why is he wearing Charlie Chaplin’s pants? Why do his shoes look like he wore them on a construction site?

And you should prepare yourselves further, because this is apparently Michael Fassbender putting the effort in. Look at what he looks like when he doesn’t take the time:

Michael Fassbender at 'A Dangerous Method' PremiereMichael Fassbender attends the 49th annual New York Film Festival presentation of “A Dangerous Method” in New York City.

Michael Fassbender at 'A Dangerous Method' Premiere

Michael Fassbender at 'A Dangerous Method' Premiere

This is WRONG; do you hear us, Michael Fassbender? This is what we like to call “Pulling a Jolie,” which is what happens when a celebrity makes the mistake of thinking they’re so gorgeous that they don’t have to put any work in on the style front. And while it’s true you’ll get laid no matter what you’re wearing, it behooves you as a burgeoning star with classic leading man looks to at least have your clothes pressed. And also not to wear shiny suits that look like they should have “DuPont” on the label and shouldn’t be worn within ten feet of an open flame.

[Photo Credit: Marc Stamas, Stephen Lovekin/Getty Images]

    • http://twitter.com/andakat andakat

      What’s really hilarious about the first suit is that it’s actually a costume from X-Men.   He looks astonishing when he’s actually wearing a well-tailored suit.

    • Megan Patterson

      Fassy whyyyyyy??!!

    • Vaniljekjeks

      The first look is ok,  the pants need to fit him better and his shoes are boring.  The second look is definitely a typical “Jolie”.  He’s good looking.  Very good looking.  But he’s not good looking enough to wear boring and ill-fitting clothes. 

    • Sobaika Mirza

      No one is good-looking enough to look this sloppy.

      Even Fassbender. My my, he IS genetically blessed.

    • http://twitter.com/bredalot Bridget Smith

      Oh dear. While I love that the first suit makes him look like he just walked out of the 1800s, it unfortunately looks like his time machine gave him a bumpy ride. (But I still love him.)

      • Anonymous

        Exactly! Very Rod Taylor-ish from 1960’s “The Time Machine.” (Wardrobe only, that is.)

    • Anonymous

      That first suit makes him look like he’s all head and no shoulders.

    • RocknLox

      Well if the leading man thing doesn’t work out, he could paint himself silver and use the first suit as his costume as a street performer. 

    • Anonymous

      Comb.  Razor.  You can afford these things.

      Oddly, I think he actually looks better in the second group of photos.   He looks more comfortable in his skin.  The first group looks as though he’s playing dress-up.

    • Anonymous

      I’m wondering what happened to his stylist from the X-Men days. He was better put-together then.

    • Anonymous

      Somebody send him a Gay STAT!!

      • Anonymous

        I’ll happily volunteer….

    • http://profiles.google.com/sara.e.parker Sara Parker

      WHY WOULD YOU DO THIS, TLO? I was so much happier not knowing. I’ve gotta go rent Jane Eyre, stat.

      • Anonymous

        I’ve been on the Michael Fassbender bandwagon since I saw him in “Hunger”. It’s a difficult movie, but he’s astonishing.

    • Anonymous

      he just does nothing for me.  both looks are kind of rumpled but i fin dit hard to picture him making me swoon even on his best day.

    • Anonymous

      In the grey suit he looks like an usher at a casual wedding.  And he should shave. 

    • Anonymous

      god… he looked so swell in a Nazi uniform… what does this say about me???

    • Anonymous

      He needs a good tailor.  Everything looks slightly too big.  What’s the word for “man frumpy”?

    • http://www.facebook.com/people/Jessica-TallGirl-Freeman/1043623567 Jessica TallGirl Freeman

      Pulling a Jolie.  Freaking love it.

    • http://www.facebook.com/charlotte.horseman Charlotte Horseman

      Love this!  You guys are the best!

    • Anonymous

      Lordy, please don’t mention Michael Fassbender’s name and the word “laid” in the same post – I’m all hot and bothered now! He’s so delicious and dreamy, and, unlike the popular opinion it seems, I love his scruff! Both outfits are tragic. He should remove the clothes immediately.

    • Anonymous

      OUT!

    • Anonymous

      Who is styling these people? Most of the men look unkempt and look like schoolboys wearing their fathers old suits for the first time…it’s almost like they are fashioned to look like a mess…on purpose….feh.

    • http://profiles.google.com/shannonlstewart Shannon Stewart

      I don’t care.  Sorry.  He’s still so insanely hot… 

    • http://www.facebook.com/shawn.eric.hill Shawn Hill

      I’m fine with the 19th Century/Oscar Wilde look except for the Charlie Chaplin pants. The vest is cute, and he looks very scrubbed.

    • Anonymous

      LMFAO!  i needed that boys :)

    • Anonymous

      The crotch on the pants in the first look are just sad, whoever tailored them should be fired. Sigh, he is dreamy.

    • http://profiles.google.com/misslauraschultz Laura Schultz

      Meh. Not that hot. And the first suit looks like it’s holding him hostage….

    • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=717883898 Glynis Fediuk

      Damn, how is he able to breathe in that top outfit?

    • Anonymous

      There’s nothing technically wrong with the shiny blue suit. But it does look like he had his arms crossed for awhile and I can’t stand it when there’s slack in the belt. I probaby hate it more than out of shape guys in skinny jeans. The three-piece suit is doing weird things to his proportions. The pants look like they need to be hiked up a couple inches, at least.

      But, whatever still hot.

    • Anonymous

      I’d be totally fine with the first suit if the pants fit better in the crotch. And god, that grin he has in the third pic down is destroying me almost as much as any picture of Tom Hiddleston ever does. I would hope to see Hiddles on here someday, but he only owns 3 different outfits lol

      Second suit not thrilling me but it doesn’t really offend either. It’s just sort of there. He clearly needs more turtlenecks.

    • Julie Clark

      um…i don’t get ‘him’…? he’s like a less hot version of my hubby. ; )

    • http://pulse.yahoo.com/_AYQCICXEN2CCDBFV5HED4Z2RUA Dee B

      What am I missing?  Maybe all I’m seeing is adorable Ginge, because I find nothing wrong with either of these outfits.

    • muzan-e

      Nah. This?

      It’s almost Halloween.

      He’s clearly dressing up as House.

    • Anonymous

      He looks so uncomfortable as if he’s wearing someone else’s clothes.  Too bad.

    • MilaXX

      Is it me or do his suits look a little too big? Not a whole lot, but beside the wrinkles there’s an overall saggy quality about his clothing in both these shots.

    • http://profiles.google.com/sleepneeded Greg Polansky

      The man is only 34. Why does he look so much older? All those lines around his eyes and on his forehead.
      Did he spend his youth in a tanning bed?

    • http://pulse.yahoo.com/_QCJEZMOV4VYMXC5WJALLZNYEB4 Mari Rose

      He’s wearing too much makeup in that first set of pictures.

    • Anonymous

      This guy does nothing for me.

    • Joyce VG

      Sorry the loins are fassy flamed.  He’s gorgeous.  Gorgeous. Gorgeous.  And cute too with his half smile and scruffy beard…hmmm Michael Fassbender….

    • Anonymous

      All of these problems would be solved if he would just stop wearing clothes.

    • http://karensbooksandchocolate.blogspot.com/ Karenlibrarian

      I think he looks better in the second set of photos, despite the shiny suit.  And it’s true, no one is so gorgeous that they shouldn’t put in the effort for the red carpet!  

    • Anonymous

      Crappy clothes must be removed immediately!

    • Anonymous

      “DuPont on the label”! MWAAAHHHHH!  Too funny – that is comedy, boys.  MF is so distractingly handsome it took a moment for my eyes to adjust to actually SEEING the clothes, but you are right all the way. And apparently he needs someone to stand by his side at all photo ops to make sure his collars behave.  I would be happy to volunteer my services.  

    • Anonymous

      Sorry, TLo. Thinking with my southern half on this one. He could wear a gunny sack tied in the middle with string and he’d still be hot.

    • kim i

      … but … but he IS that gorgeous.  *faints*

    • Anonymous

      Sometimes it’s hard for we ladies to tamp down our loins. It’s like asking a straight man to analyze Angela Jolie’s outfit. His goal is to get her out of the clothes, not comment on them.

    • Anonymous

      why do I think the first suit belong to a bridal shop ? Switch the tie for a lavallière and he’s all groomed up for his wedding.
      The second one belong to the second (or third) hand store standing in front of my office. 

    • Carol Black

      Is he wearing the same unpolished shoes in both photos?

    • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=527150091 Pat Biswanger

      You know, it’s so much easier being a man.  Suit, shirt, tie, shoes, and that’s pretty much all you need to look good except for some decent grooming.  So why is it so hard for so many of these guys to get it right?

    • Anonymous

      he’s just so pretentious and actor-y.  really bored with him.

    • http://twitter.com/jennsaysmeow Fifi LaRoux

      *sigh*

    • http://profiles.google.com/dchockeyguy Trevor Burroughs

      Either he’s hung like a horse, or he needs some serious tailoring on the crotch in those pants.  That’s way too  low.  And I totally agree: I couldn’t get past that terrible collar either.

    • http://twitter.com/Merneith Merneith

      I’m sort of hating the long skinny shoe. It’s not Fassbinder’s fault, but he seems to wear shoes like that. And it looks like he stores his clothes in Pringles cans.

      Turtlenecks for men are still an In, though.

    • Anonymous

      I

      LITERALLY

      cannot get myself to concentrate on the clothes or unkempt nature. My ovaries will not allow it.

      • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=1131443607 Susan Contreras

        oh, my.   oh, my goodness gracious.  Oh, my sweet Lord!

    • http://twitter.com/GQueen GQueen

      Sorry T&Lo, I can’t hear you over the sound that my ovaries are making, as they desperately, desperately try and let loose a flurry of eggs despite the hearty heaping of hormones preventing them from doing so.

    • Anonymous

      Very sloppy overall, but I do feel compelled to point out the perfect hem on those second pants. :)

    • http://profiles.google.com/claudiaberry Claudia Berry

      Very simple, just take the clothes off et voila!  Perfection.

      • Lisa

        Yes, this is really the only *sensible* solution!  (*nods wisely in agreement*)

    • Anonymous

      No doubt someone has already said it, but cue the Duchess on that first look: “That crotch is INSANE!”

    • Anonymous

      Don’t know who this guy is.  Don’t care.  Because he’s a slob. And he wears dirty shoes. And he doesn’t groom his grunge-beard. And I swear that second suit is polyester.

      Begone!

    • ginger drysdale

      um he could show up in a Flintstone mobile dressed in a muu-muu and and not a single fuck would be given that day or ever again by me because of his work in Shame & Hunger.
      anyway he’s damn 6ft tall and 5 1/2 of that is torso, of COURSE he can’t find pants that fit.

    • http://www.facebook.com/rachel.council Rachel Council

      This is a shame. Like a gorgeous painting in an ugly frame. :(

      I get the feeling that he’s a little bit drunk all the time, hence the general look of disarray he seems to have when not being styled by a team of movie production assistants. Hopefully now that he’s gathering more Hollywood clout, somebody will get him a stylist. 

    • Christiane Lê

      This is a man who wears Havaianas and a holey t-shirt cause he don’t care about looking fashionable. Surely he gets brownie points for just dressing up, period?!

    • YourBaloneyDontGotNoSecondName

      Graham crackers and milk.