Katy Perry in Giambattista Valli

Posted on October 20, 2011

It is with great sadness that we have to report that Katy Perry has no gays. Hard to believe, but we can come to no other conclusion after viewing these pictures.

Katy Perry in Giambattista Valli

Katy Perry at the Piccadilly Theatre in London in a Giambattista Valli two-tone crepe cape dress.

Katy Perry in Giambattista ValliGiambattista Valli Fall 2011 Collection/Model: Marique Schimmel (WOMEN)

Katy Perry in Giambattista Valli

Because if she had gays, they surely would have informed her, in that blunt, bitchy gay manner, that she looks like a penis.

Then again, knowing her, she heard the news and clapped with joy.

[Photo Credit: WireImage, elle.com]

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  • Girl needs to maintain that pink hair.  Roots are a big old don’t.

    • Anonymous

      Horrible roots!!

    • BerlinerNYC

      Nah, roots are edgy, and she’s making a point of showing them off (like Madonna in 1989—the “Oh Father” video). If she wants perfect pink hair, she can throw on a pink wig, like that blue one she rode until the wheels fell off.

      • I think there’s a line between edgy and “hasn’t bothered and barely noticed”.  Line crossed.

        • K

          I agree Julie. The extreme roots don’t look edgy, they look messy and ugly.

          • Julian Betkowski

            I think if she maintained the pink dye job and didn’t bleach the roots, it could look pretty cool, but this just looks lazy. I know too many crustypunk kids who wander around for months looking like this ‘cuz they can’t afford another box of bleach and more dye to ever endorse someone with more money than god leaving the house looking like this.

  • hahaha

  • Anonymous

    Ugh. Looks like one of those Simplicity “Make It Tonight” outfits.

  • Anonymous

    I don’t think anyone could carry off that dress, whether in Pepto pink or in the original – it is shapeless and unsalvageably unflattering.  As to the visible roots, I just read that is a new style trend.  Well, that just goes to show that trends don’t always equate to taste or attractiveness.

    • I think Emma Watson could work it in the original. I like the little yellow belt.

    • Rebecca Zmarzly

      It’s the haves catering to the have-nots in this economy. Now we poor people can feel better about ourselves by not being able to afford a salon trip every couple of weeks because our sad hair is now ON TREND!

    • Anonymous

      The trend is an ombre hair color, where, say, your dyed blonde hair fades into your brown roots. This has fading but not the right kind.

  • Anonymous

    She looks like she’s ready for a perp walk, all she needs is the handcuffs. 

  • Anonymous

    Wait … that’s Katy Perry … are you sure??? I totally would not have recognized her. And I almost choked on my breakfast after reading the penis comment. Are you trying to kill us TLo? I thought you loved your bitter kittens.?

    • First of all, did someone check this woman’s ID? Doesn’t look like Katy to me. 

      Secondly, as a Jewish woman, it would never have occurred to me to think this outfit looked like a penis. The ones I know don’t have capes.

  • Anonymous

    That is really ugly and looks uncomfortable; that cape would drive me bananas. Also, she looks like she fell into a vat of Pepto Bismal. 

  • Anonymous

    You are right. Pepto Bismol penis is not a good look.

    To me, it looks like she is being led handcuffed and in a straight jacket right to the loony bin. And she looks like a sad Katy too…

  • Looks like something Oliver would make… inhuman.  Hate it.  Surprised that Katy chose it – she doesn’t look too thrilled about it either.

  • Meredith Taylor

    Well considering one of her songs is called “Ur So Gay” and is all about her making fun of people by using the term “gay” as a derogatory slur… why on earth would she have gays???

  • I make a plush penis in exactly that colour… Wonder if Katy wants to be my spokesmodel?

  • Anonymous

    OMG, I just about spit out my coffee with the penis comment!!  This photo hurts my eyes but it’s worth the pain to have read your critique.  Thanks for starting my day with a laugh, TLo!

  • Though in theory I have no problem with the dress itself. WOW was that a spectacular misfire of choices.  And aside from looking like a bright pink dildo, those dark hose are a bad idea.  Whew, what a mess.  And Katy, regardless of what one thinks of her taste, is usually totally put together top to toe.  Katy, your HAIR!!!!!!!

    • Anonymous

      I love Katy to distraction and I tend to stick up for her sometimes off-the-wall styling choices.

      But this?….  No in so many ways!  Not the least of which is the Boy George 1983 hair.  Which is truly horrible.

      • I was trying to think of the right reference, and your nailed it, Inforapenny.  Boy George it is!

      • Anonymous

        More Marilyn in 83 😀 (if anyone remembers him!)
        George was still have been in dreads in 83 and would only have been caught with those roots in the heroin years 😉

        She could at least have put a scarf or something round it!

        • Anonymous

          I was just referring to the hank of hair falling over one eye, which I think (I could be wrong!) was part of his earlier hair styles. The “Do You Really Want to Hurt Me” years. 

          • Anonymous

            Yep, that’s what I was thinking too. 

  • Anonymous

    She looks like she’s doing penance, praying. And she oughta, that outfit’s such a sin.

    • suz72350

      Yes! In a pink nun’s garb. She just needs a rosary to complete the look.

  • KATY! I am so disappointed in you! We used to be twins, Katy, TWINS. I will NOT have one of my personal style icons looking like a Valentine’s Day decoration turned Televangelist’s Wife in a porno remake of Jim Bakker’s life story!

    Go to your room and CHANGE. NOW.

  • MilaXX

    oh that looks bad. I wonder what happened because she usually does wacky much better than this.

  • Ok, I’m going to go against the flow here and say that I don’t really mind it much.
    I didn’t see the penis (though I do now, thanks TLO) and I don’t give a damn about her or her hair but I have this GV thing and I like the funky shapes he often gives his clothes and I think the dress could have been very chic. On someone else. There was no way it was ever going to be chic on Katy Perry. Nothing will ever be chic on Katy Perry.

  • “She looks like a penis”. That’s an insult to all the penises I’ve known and loved over the years.

  • Nice dress in theory and it works better in black and white, but better on the runway than off.

  • Oh dear. Making it worse, she’s hanging her head in shame, and for such a young age, this outfit had added years TO HER FACE!

  • She looks like a Lady Who Lunches on her way to Confession, and Mass afterwards.

    I have no issue with regrowth, but, Katy, honey, get your roots done.

  • Anonymous


  • Anonymous

    Overall I think it’s a great little look for her. I love the style of the hair too. But you would think that someone with as much money as Katie could avoid that awkward phase of  growing out your crazy color. She should freshen it  up or dye it another color.

  • Anonymous

    I’m not in love with the shape of the dress, but think it would have worked better in a different color combination. It doesn’t help that she looks miserable in all these pictures.

  • Anonymous

    I was thinking a pink nun, but I like your description better.

    • Anonymous

      i thought nun immediately too!  i have no idea why, except maybe it’s the praying hands pose.  only katy perry could show up in head to knees hot pink, black sheer hose and magenta and black striped hair and look like a penis in a convent.  crazy.

      • Anonymous

        I thought nun too.  I had to look twice just to make sure she wasn’t holding a rosary. 

  • Anonymous

    I thought it was kind of cute until the truth of the penis comparison “penetrated”, as it were.  Now I can’t see anything else.  And her hair is bad.  And for some reason she looks like Jayma Mays.

    • “Penetrated”
      (snorting behind hand)

      Thanks for that.

  • Anonymous

    I actually didn’t mind the outfit until you mentioned the penis thing. Now I can’t unsee it.

    In her defense: this is a great balance between bold and understated for her, seeing as she looks like an anime character most of the time.

    Look what you’ve done to me, T Lo! I don’t even like Katy Perry and here I am defending her. Shit. Is the lounge open yet? I need a drink.

  • Anonymous

    I like the outfit (especially the black & grey version on the model), but that’s a very unflattering pose and unflattering photo. With that pose, and that background and that expression on her face, she looks like she’s leaving the police station after spending the night in the drunk tank. If she’d had a chance to pose in a studio with that outfit, it would look 10 times better.

  • Judy_J

    a sad, flaccid penis.

  • Anonymous


    .. and here I am thinking “That’d look better with pearls.”

    Can’t unsee.

  • Now I can’t “unsee” the penis comment, that was entirely too funny TLo.  I have to say, this is pretty bad, even for Katy Perry, who often looks adorable in even the most unsightly clothes.

  • Anonymous

    Now that you mention it, she does kind of look like a penis. Oh, Katy! Noooo!!

  • Anonymous

    penis…hahaha!  Must be why I like the outfit!  XD

  • Anonymous

    Hahaha, I didn’t even see the penis-ness of this outfit I was too busy staring at her hair.

  • aimee_parrott

    Yikes.  I wouldn’t have even know this was Katy Perry.  I guess that’s the danger of always looking like you’re made of plastic.  You show up JUST ONCE looking like a penis, and nobody knows who you are.

  • Anonymous

    The thing that bothers me most about that outfit is the sheerness of those black tights. And now, yeah, the whole penis thing.

  • Anonymous

    Something about the pink locks draped over the side of her face seems very Boy George-ish.

  • Anonymous

    Lordy she looks awful, and I’m sure there are legions of gay fans who would love to give her advice. But also, what the hell was Giambattista Valli thinking in designing this completely unflattering outfit?

  • Anonymous

    I actually like the dress….maybe nosomuch in pink??  but lordy that hair has to go_NOW.  The color, the roots, the “up-don’t”.  

  • Erika Swain

    I read that last line just as put a donut hole in my mouth…mouth full of ball, laughing at a penis joke. 

  • Anonymous

    http://bit.ly/qtNhZP is what it reminded me of off the bat.

  • Anonymous

    Hunh. I’m as dirty-minded as the next Bitter Kitten and I didn’t see that. I LIKE this dress, although it certainly reads better in the black/white/lime runway version.  I think the issue is her styling. I’m all for hosiery but not sure black was the best choice here. 

  • Anonymous

    oh.. I liked this look until I read your post and now I can’t stop thinking penis!

  • Anonymous

    Bwaaa ha ha!  But seriously, the dress is way better in black/white.

  • Okay, I so sharing this around the office to introduce people to the TLO phenomena

  • Anonymous

    Not only that. She’s a penis ejaculating pink.

  • Anonymous

    Wow. Once it’s pointed out you can’t unsee it, can you?

  • Anonymous

    Why is she not allowed to move her arms?

  • sweetlilvoice

    Poor thing! Did she and cute hubbie have a fight? Or maybe it’s a bad PMS day? She looks so down. Eat some ice cream, you’ll feel better!

  • Once you see it, you can’t unsee it.

  • Either a penis or Nunnery Barbie. There’s something ironic in that.

  • Anonymous

    To me the main problem isn’t so much the dress as the way she’s wearing it. Katy is, in my opinion, one of those people who can pretty much make anything work if she tries hard enough, but she doesn’t seem to be trying. She looks sad and tired here, and her slumped posture kind of makes it look like the dress is eating her. I think with brighter and better maintained hair, better posture, and that Katy smile that says, “What I’m wearing is ridiculous. Isn’t it AWESOME?” it could totally work. As it is… no. Maybe it was a bad play?

  • Jessica O’Connell


    • Okay, this post actually made me LOLOLOLOL

  • Is there some feature on this style of dress I don’t know about that allows you to move your arms without showing titty?

  • Anonymous

    “knowing her, she heard the news and clapped with joy”. I think she’d find it hilarious and embrace the look 🙂

  • That dress is a joke and a half. How does one move one’s arms?

  • I’m more concerned about the fact that if you’re going to rock pink hair, you’d better keep up with your roots. I actually don’t hate the outfit.

  • Anonymous

    I actually kind of love it, but then I’ve always loved penises.

  • Valerie Little

    She looks like she’s making her First Communion but bought the wrong color dress.

  • Anonymous

    The dress doesn’t bother me that much, but her hair is straight-up 1997 prom queen with an unfortunate dye-job.  Ick.

  • Anonymous

    Why can’t she just leave her hair alone?

  • Lisa

    Yeah, not the best. By the way, the spread this month in InStyle is adorbs, so it’s not like her pink hair doesn’t work for her at all.

  • Much as I try, I do not see a penis. I see a giant, walking bottle of Pepto Bismol. Pukey Pink. That getup is hideous in both iterations. The model looks like she’s going to a fucking funeral. Horrifying.

  • Anonymous

    I wanna see your peacock(cock, cock, cock) indeed!

  • Anonymous

    My initial reaction was practically the exact opposite.  My first thought was “pink nun.”

  • Anonymous

    I actually love her dress. But her hair….oh no…..

  • Cheri Lee

    I like her outfit…I like penis too!

  • Anonymous

    If she had attempted to work it at all, this might have come off better (particularly if her hair wasn’t the same color as the dress).  As it is, it looks like she’s going to Confession and she has some messed-up shit to talk about!

  • Anonymous

    Perp walk in Pepto Pink.

  • Geno Boggiatto

    Wow. I LOVED the dress, and then you said “penis” and now I can’t see anything else. So unfortunate!

  • Sabina Kallstrom

    Katy Perry dresses like a 12 year old or a prostitute. Sometimes, she even mixes the two ( see above photo).  She looks like something her addicted husband threw up.

  • Caitlin Gozdecki

    forget the dress- her brown roots are showing thru her PINK hair, time for a touch up honey

  • My first thought: she looks like a nun in a hot pink habit who forgot her headpiece.