Julianne Hough, Honky Tonk Woman

Posted on October 14, 2011

Jesus, Mary and Oprah, what is WRONG with this girl?

Julianne Hough in Monique Lhuillier

Julianne Hough attends the “Footloose” Nashville screening in a Monique Lhuillier dress paired with Casadei shoes.

Julianne Hough in Monique Lhuillier

Okay, fine. She’s in Nashville; it’s a CMT crowd; we get it. You wanna do the big hair and the sparkly for this venue, that makes a certain amount of sense and we can get behind it. But how does she manage to make herself look 15 years older than she is all the time? Is it the Seacrest thing? Like, she’s bearding for him and she feels she has to tart herself up? Sweetie, you can release a sex tape with him and the public is still going to assume he’s playing for our team.

A lot of people hate us when we say this, but that hem length is a bit on the mature side. Tone down the hair just a bit (but leave it big enough for a CMT event), raise that hemline a good 6 inches, swap out the pumps for a pair of KILLA shoes, and for God’s sake, get someone new to do your eye makeup, THEN you might have a sexy and age-appropriate look going on.

We’ll give her credit for one thing: she clearly dresses according to the venue. Check out her NYC look:

Julianne Hough in Rachel ZoeJulianne Hough attends the Cinema Society screening of “Footloose” in New York City in a Rachel Zoe tuxedo dress paired with Casadei shoes.

Julianne Hough in Rachel Zoe

At least the makeup’s a little better, but she still got this wrong. An up ‘do , a strong lip, and maybe a pair of booties or bear trap shoes, as well as a more interesting clutch, and this might have looked chic and youthful. As it is, she once again looks like she’s a 40+ year old former star doing the rounds to promote her latest role as the mother of the ingenue. Honey, YOU’RE THE INGENUE. START DRESSING THE PART.

How much you want to bet when her contract with Seacrest is up she’ll suddenly start looking her age?

 

[Photo Credit: Stephen Lovekin, Rick Diamond/Getty Images]

    • Anonymous

      You know how people with true style can make anything look expensive?  She is the opposite of that.  She needs some assistance.

      • Anonymous

        Couldn’t agree more! This one always reads as tacky to me no matter what she’s wearing. I have the same thing with Carrie Underwood.

    • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=547846132 Maryan Florio

      No. No. No at all. Booties and bear traps are ugly, but that’s not the point. They’re are trendy pieces, and you can’t fault a girl for going with a classic. A beatiful, proportioned, simple black heel with a great point will ALWAYS look sexy and right. Kinda like Chuck Taylors will never go out of style for their own purposes? Right. Same thing. She could have gone with a more interesting clutch though. I’ll give you that.  

      • Anonymous

        Agree, the shoes are fabulous, and classic. 

    • MilaXX

      This is why I liked her red shorts outfit. It was youthful and fit the movie she’s promoting. Both these lok are too old for her although if she raised the hem on the first I could give that one a pass. The second one needs a complete retool; better shoes, softer makeup and a better bag.

    • Anonymous

      “Sweetie, you can release a sex tape with him and the public is still going to assume he’s playing for our team.”

      NAILED IT! Made me laugh out loud so hard.

      • Anonymous

        i also wonder if George Clooney uses his dates as a beard?  am I the only one who thinks this?

    • Anonymous

      Yeah poor girl really doesn’t know what to do when she has to dress up. It’s a shame, really. She could be stunning. I’m totally with you on that hem length. That’s my 86-year old grandma’s church length for her skirts.

      Hold the phone…she’s Seacrest’s new beard?? Poor girl must be really hard up for cash. He’s kind of insufferable. 

       

    • Allyson Wells

      What are bear trap shoes? Google shows a bunch of brown, fur-lined boots that you’d actually wear out to trap bears. :) Someone clue me in, please! 

      • Sobaika Mirza

        They were big for a while – they’re the platform gladiator heels. Looks like the foot is caught in a bear trap.

      • Anonymous

        I want to say they’re the kind that have that.. V shaped opening.

        I’m really not sure though.

    • Anonymous

      oh, boys! that hem is FINE. just cuz it ain’t shorty short short doesn’t make it matronly. you and your hem and ankle strap issues…..broaden your horizons! ; )

      • Anonymous

        It doesn’t have to be super short- I think it’s about where the hem hits your leg, and right below the knee isn’t the most flattering. 

        It should be just above the knee, not super short, but a way better sillhouette. In my opinion.

        • Anonymous

          i LOVE right below the knee. i think it adds interest to the dress. (also, i have ugly knees haha. that hemline works best for legs like mine (ie; shapeless.) it adds a needed curve to my calf.)

        • Anonymous

          also, i love your handle. hilarious!

          • Anonymous

            Thanks! I love it when people get the reference.

            And I think you highlight a very important point: “fashion rules” are far less important than dressing for your body type. Many people forget that.

            In my case, scrawny legs mean that anything below knee length and I look like I’m dressing up in my mom’s clothes. 

      • Sobaika Mirza

        I agree, but I think it’s the length + the hair + the makeup + sparly tight tube thing. She should strive for only a few aging elements at a time.

        • Anonymous

          That’s a good rule of thumb. But when you’re bearding for a power player you got to put the aging into overdrive.   BTW, I enjoy your posts, Ms. Mirza. You are far, far funnier than my lame attempts at wit while also being far less wordy.

          • Sobaika Mirza

            I’M BLUSHING! Thanks, and nice to know I’m not the only one who haunts the comments enough to recognize names. I’m not very witty in real life, just on the internet I guess!

            • Anonymous

              Ohhhh, there are lots of us T Lo addicts here. It’s is the only blog I read, but I read it obsessively. Don’t be alarmed – you’re in good company! The reason it’s the only blog whose comments I read is because the people here seem to be more far civilized, intelligent, thought-provoking and hilarious than other blogs. You’re probably even funnier in person, but the Internet  does seem to change our perspective of people, including ourselves. No matter where I write, I seem to morph into a Victorian gentleman. Which I’m not.

      • http://www.facebook.com/jeannie.shmina.greenwald Jeannie Shmina Greenwald

        Uhm, no.  That hem is atrocious.  That dress needs a tailor asap.

    • Anonymous

      I really love that Rachel Zoe dress because you can accessorize it so many ways. I don’t mind how she’s done it here, although the suggestions from the great T Lo, if put into practice, would be show stopping! Wonder if little Julianne reads this blog?

    • Rand Ortega

      Her boyfriend’s Ryan Seacrest. That explains everything.

    • Anonymous

      I like the NYC look, it doesn’t read matronly to me.  The Nashville look, on the other hand, ew.

      • Anonymous

        ^This, 100%.

    • Scott Hester-Johnson

      She needs to stop borrowing dresses from Seacrest

    • Anonymous

      “… when her contract with Seacrest is up…”

      Too funny!

    • Sara__B

      “How much you want to bet when her contract with Seacrest is up she’ll suddenly start looking her age?” Ouch. But probably true. When she was wearing Dancing with the Stars costumes, she always looked young, even though her costumes were essentially the same as the other, mostly older, dancers.

    • Anonymous

      The ironed hair looks better at least. She has issues with hemlines and shoes. Neither is her best look. 

    • Anonymous

      There must be some weird Ms. Beard rule that we don’t know about, hell, look at Katie Holmes, she has the same issues.

    • Anonymous

      Wait, she’s 23? Is she sure about that? I remain unconvinced.

    • Cheri Lee

      She is so pretty and at the same time so boring. She has a great body and great legs, show it off honey! We want to see the goods and a killer pair of shoes. She needs to drop Seacrest, slut it up for a few months, then tone it down…she’ll be a star in no time!

    • Anonymous

      “Sweetie, you can release a sex tape with him and the public is still going to assume he’s playing for our team.”

      LMAO! 

    • http://profiles.google.com/claudiaberry Claudia Berry

      Agree on the hem on the first dress and on the Seacrest contract ;D

    • Anonymous

      And PLEASE tone down the spray tan!

      • Sara__B

        She’s a former ballroom dancer (or at least on hiatus). She’s probably still addicted to spray tans.

    • http://twitter.com/MandySCG MandyJane

      The first dress makes her look like she has bizarre proportions, it’s gotta be the hem length plus the shoes kinda disappear in the picture.  She looks a million times better in the second look, even with the hair issues. 

    • Stefanos Mantyla

      She looks nowhere near as beautiful as when I saw her on Dancing With The Stars. I thought she was incredibly beautiful then, and now I am wondering why I ever thought so!

      • Anonymous

        She looked like her old self when she was on DWTS on Tuesday night.    But, I agree, these photos are strange.

    • Anonymous

      I wonder if these types of outfits are the consequence for spending most of one’s young life in practice togs and professional costumes. Navigating everything elso seems to be a problem for her.

    • narita_rayna

      i think shes taking inspiration for her personal style from ’80′s call girls & fergie, circa 3 yrs ago.  

    • Anonymous

      The sparkly dress could have been beautiful if the length were more flattering.  Even the big slutty hair would have worked if the dress had been mid-thigh.

    • Anonymous

      She’s been on the competitive ballroom dance circuit too long. She can’t get out of the clown makeup and false eyelash rut that most ballroom dance pros fall into. Sequins and rhinestones are another sure sign.

      Don’t look at me that way folks. You know it’s true.

      • Anonymous

        However, you don’t see ice skaters going around in illusion netting and Swarovski crystals everywhere!

    • Anonymous

      Couldn’t agree more with TLo. The hemline on the sparkly dress is doing her no favors; the proportions are all wrong for her height. Love the Nashville hair, though. 

    • Anonymous

      Agree the first dress is too long, oddly the second dress is too short, its a coat dress not a “jacket dress”…

    • Anonymous

      Seacrest doesn’t like his hags to be prettier than he is in front of a camera. -snort-

    • http://www.facebook.com/people/Susan-Bigler/100001141721080 Susan Bigler

      She looked much prettier 2 years ago.  What is she doing to herself?  She’s much too young to be f*ing with her face.  And her fashion choices do her no favors.

    • Anonymous

      Maybe the problem isn’t that she’s looking old – maybe it’s that all the older ladies are trying too hard to look “young”.

    • http://twitter.com/drnels Nels P. Highberg

      I have to admit to being a bit annoyed at how they’ve country-fied “Footloose.”  When I heard the country version of the title song, I was all WTF?  Where are the pop songs of the film from my youth?

    • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=717955989 Barbara Affolter

      She’s doing that thing where she dresses for a Nashville event like someone who isn’t from Nashville.  Real people from Nashville dress like Reese Witherspoon.  It’s not much better, but it’s not a cliche.

    • Anonymous

      I kind of hate her. I feel like there is nothing whatsoever real there. Except ambition. I dunno. Something about her makes me wince. Maybe it’s the incessant PERKY!!  And I hate both the outfits and hairdos shown here and I think she dresses so badly for who she is because she isn’t really anybody except a bottle blonde Mormon who is mad she didn’t get the starring role in Twilight and is now determined to beard media mogul Seacrest (next up — Rupert Murdock!) till it pays off. But otherwise there is no personality there except some pasted-on mannerisms she borrowed from Reese Witherspoon and Sandra Dee.

      • http://pulse.yahoo.com/_35OW6VJZLWTQDQHS4JLRTVC2JA Akumabunny

        Sorry, but I feel that while it is perfectly fine to mock someone for their fashion choices & their ambition, it is NOT OK to mock someone for something they had no choice in-namely the religion they were brought up in.  That is something her parents chose, not her, & she is no longer a practicing Mormon.  And, even if she were, that should have no bearing on this discussion.

    • Anonymous

      She looks like she got all of that from her local Sears and Roebuck.  Her eye makeup looks like 1978.  She looks like the slutty girl that stole my boyfriend in 10th grade.  Perhaps I cannot get past my counter transference with this one….

    • Anonymous

      This chick never fails to boggle the mind. She’s wasting her good looks and youth to look cheap and old. Completely agree the hemline on the shiny tube dress needs to go up several inches.  The second look just appears blah and cheap. This girl needs some serious styling lessons. STAT.

    • Anonymous

      TLO – you guys are some of the funniest, wittiest writers on the planet. You nail it 95% of the time and capture so succiently all the key points/flaws. LOVE your blog.

    • Anonymous

      the skirt in the first look really needs to go up 6 inches. I like the nyc look in theory, just needed to be more youthful.

      • Lisa

        Yeah, I agree with you about both points.

    • Anonymous

      Yes, she’s fallen into the classic trap of a young woman (she’s 23!) dating an older man (how old is Seacrest?). No need to style yourself on Courtney Stodden dear.

    • http://twitter.com/TwiterlessTerri Terri

      Oh god, please don’t blame Nashville for that awful get-up.  We know better.

    • http://profiles.google.com/trashilove { edi } ilovetrash

      that tuxedo jacket dress should never have been conceived, much less put into production, much less worn by anybody.

      it looks like a piece made by all that jazz sold at the turn of the 80s when robinsons beverly hills cheapened itself unto the grave & forever by merging w/ low caste may company, for heavens sake!

    • http://twitter.com/annageletka Anna Geletka

      I’m 27 and I always thought she was older than me – I’d buy her as in her 30s.  Then she did Footloose, I laughed uproariously at the idea of her as a teenager – and then I found out how old she really is (23).

    • Anonymous

      That blue hem is WAY too long……..that’s not “mature”, it’s downright farty.

      The tuxedo jacket dress is very cute but she needs, as you said, a pair of killer shoes and an eye-grabbing evening bag.  However, I have to disagree on the “former star making the rounds” comparison.  To me the dress gives off a very Lauren Bacall (in “To Have and Have Not”) vibe and is not at all matronly.

    • http://twitter.com/DarthJaeda Jaeda Laurez

      heh- in that second shot, she kind of favors Courtney Stoddard, which is as good a reason as any to burn a dress as I’ve heard. 

    • Anonymous

      She needs a TLo intervention STAT!  That blue dress is hella tacky and the hair??  Oh honey, no…

    • Anonymous

      I really like the tuxedo dress!  I wish she had put a pop of color somewhere, though, and more interesting hair.

      And the Nashville look?  Ugh!  Christina Aguilera’s Southern sister.  Ick.

    • Anonymous

      DEAR GOD THAT HAIR.  Also, how old is she, exactly?  Because I’m kind of feeling like in the second picture she’s looking old enough to be her own mother.

    • Anonymous

      that hair and makeup, and that glitter dress that’s so tight it’s riding up (or is that ruching?) look like trailer trash.  and that hem length with those horrible round toed pumps make her look like dumpy trailer trash.

      the new york look, imho is cute and current.  and she looks her age to me (early twenties?).  granted the shoes and purse are boring.
      either one would provide a place for that pop of color that is so needed.  still, the shoes are not offensive and she looks chic to me.

      all the hate on long blond hair wounds my soul.  i wore it my whole life starting in high school and still wear it today, although it’s not really blond anymore.  sigh.

    • Anonymous

      Sarah Jessica Parker wannabe?

      • http://www.facebook.com/jeannie.shmina.greenwald Jeannie Shmina Greenwald

        Sarah Jessica Parker neverbe.

        Even with her occasional missteps, this girl looks completely off-the-rack.

    • Anonymous

      In either outfit, she’s completely uninteresting to me.

    • http://www.facebook.com/jeannie.shmina.greenwald Jeannie Shmina Greenwald

      I couldn’t believe it was the same person in those two pictures.  It’s hard to believe that someone with even her entry-level star status could manage to look so wrong at such an important occasion as a premier of her own film.  Well, maybe ‘film’ is a bit much.   Movie. Anyway,  how in the world she could even *feel* right in that blue get-up is beyond me.  Here’s a fashion tip for all our star-girls:  before you decide on your look, put it on and have someone take your photo – doesn’t have to be a big deal: the phone’s camera will do.  Take front, side, and rear shots of yourself, wearing proposed item.  Now, look at the picture.  Is THAT really what you want to be photographed in? Does THAT say, “Yes! This is me?”

      Then decide.

      This strategy has saved me from a ton of mistakes. I have no qualms about asking any salesperson to take my photo when I’m trying on. The mirror cannot tell you what the camera will.  The mirror projects YOUR FEELING into what you see.   The camera doesn’t lie.

      Julianne?  You listening?

    • Anonymous

      None of her red carpet pictures capture the spirit of the woman. Watch any DWTS’s performance and you see how pretty she is when she feels the smile. I think someone must have decided that she should avoid any thing that looks like a dance costume too. Or maybe it’s just being engaged to Seacrest that makes her look so unhappy.

    • http://twitter.com/warontara Tara

      *sigh* She’s just offensively bland.

    • Addicted2Glamour

      Oh Lord. In the top photo she looks like Tres le Parques, the oldest drag queen in town, whose dresses are always one size too small and 20 years out of date. Poor thing. I guess she’s too busy being Seacrest’s beard to stop and look at herself in the mirror.

    • Anonymous

      I thought you were being a bit harsh.  I mean she looks pretty.  Sure, in the double breasted dress she looks 40+, but still pretty.  However, I didn’t know who she was, so I googled her.   OMG, the girl is TWENTY THREE years old!!!!   I thought she was in her 30s. YIKES!

      which means, dear TLo, you are of course right again.