It’s been a while since we pissed off a bunch of Jen-o-philes. Let’s get crackin’.
Jennifer Aniston attends the ELLE’s 18th Annual Women in Hollywood Tribute in a Kaufmanfranco dress paired with Balenciaga sandals, a Salvatore Ferragamo clutch, and Fred Leighton jewelry.
We feel like the only way we’re ever going to shock this gal out of her decade-long style rut (which we now consider to be our calling from God herself) is to be really mean to her. But we also like to cultivate an image of being the less-bitchy of the bitchy queens on the internet; the loving but blunt gay uncles, if you will. Although in Jen’s case, we’d be the loving but blunt gay friends because try as she might to convince the world otherwise, she’s not young enough to be considered a T Lo niece. And thus, our point: Jen, sweetie. You have an admirably taut and toned body and we salute you for the obvious work and time you put into it. But this type of dress -clingy, ultra-short, plunging neckline – is simply no longer in your wheelhouse, doll. In other words, Girl, This Is Not Your Dress.
IN! I WISH I looked that good, you bitches!
OUT! Does she not own a mirror?
Fergie’s Dynasty prom dress is still open for voting, darlings. Be blunt with her, too.
[Photo Credit: Jason Merritt/Getty Images]