Cover Girl: Nicki Minaj for Cosmopolitan

Posted on October 11, 2011

Brace yourselves, we’re gonna do that “blogger obnoxiously name-dropping thing” that receives eyerolls (and rightly so) from all quarters. Are you ready?

When we attended the Oscar de la Renta Spring 2012 runway show –

(Told you.)

– the room was awash in A-listers of the Timberlake and Olsen twin variety  –

(Go ahead. Roll your eyes.)

– but what sticks out foremost in our memories was the sight of Nicki Minaj, only about a foot away from us, posing like mad for the photographers.

(We have a point here. Stay with us.)

And what surprised us most about her was how strikingly beautiful she is underneath all the clown clothes and neon makeup. She’s got the upturned eyes, high cheekbones and aquiline nose of a modern-day Nefertiti. No, really. Our only thought when we saw her up close is that the girl should seriously consider toning things down just to give the world a glimpse of how striking she really is. Cosmo apparently thought the same thing.

Nicki Minaj for CosmopolitanNicki Minaj covers the November 2011 issue of Cosmopolitan in a dress by Simone By Katie Nehra and a belt by Azzedine Alaïa.

And Boom goes the dynamite. She has NEVER looked that good. Girl, you need to put that stylist on the payroll permanently.

 

Simone By Katie NehraSimone By Katie Nehra Fall 2011 Collection

It’s a great little dress, but it’s really made by the Azzedine Alaïa belt paired with it for the cover.

[Photo Credit: cosmopolitan.com, simonecollection.com]

    • Erin Nice

      I don’t know that I would have recognized her. Wow!

    • Anonymous

      OK, but did Cosmo have to put the word “gyno” right over her ladyparts?

      • scottyf

        Frankly, of all the cover lines, that’s the LEAST troubling. Kinky sex? Ways to get him pumped?

        Cosmo is scary.

        Somebody hold me.

        • sweetlilvoice

          It’s a trashy, trashy magazine. An article I browsed recently recommended several positions for car sex!

          • Anonymous

            Kaaaa Seksu!!!!

          • Anonymous

            carma sutra?

          • Anonymous

            I agree it is AWFUL.  My co-worker had one recently and I couldnt make it all the way through.  It’s all Ads and crappy advice.

        • Anonymous

          Cosmo has always been scary. Correct me if I’m wrong, but I think it was Cosmo (or Helen Gurley Brown) that advised women to wrap their naked selves in cellophane and greet their husbands at the door that way. 

        • Anonymous

          Cosmo has always been scary. Correct me if I’m wrong, but I think it was Cosmo (or Helen Gurley Brown) that advised women to wrap their naked selves in cellophane and greet their husbands at the door that way. 

          • Rachel Sawyer

            HaHaHa. I remember bringing an issue home when I was in college–many many moons ago–and my mother was incensed by the “Christmas cleavage” cover line.

          • http://twitter.com/TheRedZavodnik Ginger

            Can you just imagine how sweaty one would be by the time it came time to remove said cellophane?  *shudder*

          • Anonymous

            Lol that sounds like a frustrating, sweaty adventure and probably not in a sexy way.

        • Anonymous

          Cosmo is good for one thing only: vacation reading, preferably on a beach.  I am fanatical about recycling every shred of paper but I would think twice before depositing a copy of Cosmo in my recycling bin.  I’d hate for anyone to see that I had read it.  If ever a magazine belonged in the trash, Cosmo is it.  Thanks for letting me vent, Scotty!

          • Anonymous

            I think it’s good for one other thing–reading at the nail salon.  I’m always sorely disappointed when a nail salon doesn’t have issues of Cosmo around.

        • http://twitter.com/pinup_ghoul Pinup Ghoul

          Scottyf, you have NO idea. Cosmo assumes that all of its readers are grown-up child-women and instructs them to behave like passive-aggressive adolescents, and to distrust men in all things.

          I was thumbing through my roommate’s copy of Cosmo UK last year and I came across an article entitled “The Secret Language of Men: What He’s REALLY Thinking”, or something to that effect. The man line was: “You look nice,” which was then translated through the guy decoder to spell out “I’m hiding something from you.” The article then instructed the reader to subtley gather clues about his inevitable and imaginary infidelity.

          No, I’m serious. That magazine is so screwed up in every way imaginable and panders to the lowest common denominator and specifically self-obsessed people with self esteem issues.

          Also, this: http://www.cracked.com/article_19066_7-psychotic-pieces-relationship-advice-from-cosmo.html

          I read somewhere that Cosmo writers get paid 2 per word. I don’t know if that’s true or not, but it would certainly explain why they stick with the same “SEX! LIPSTICK! Dirty Orgasm Secrets That Will Set Your Man’s Taint On FIRE!!” formula every single month.

          Back on topic: Nicki looks incredible here. I’m a big fan of her personal style anyway, but I agree with TLo that her natural beauty is so much nicer to look at. She doesn’t need adornment. She’s get it all in spades already.

          • Anonymous

            Bahaha- I am a little bit terrified of you for thinking of “… That Will Set Your Man’s Taint On FIRE!!”, and a lot terrified of Cosmo, because I could absolutely see that as a headline. And that article is utterly faboo (in the words of the immortal Anamaniacs).

          • Anonymous

            Thanks for the link! We (boys and girls) are cracking up here at the office.

            You gotta love though how they proof their affirmations with opinions form PhD’s and psychologists and whatnot -all authors of the craziest-titled books I’ve ever heard about. 

        • Anonymous

          LMAO Scotty, Cosmo is frightening, and also hilarious. I think they’ve been recycling the same 6 articles since the early 1970′s.

        • Anonymous

          Also, kinda dangerous/funny… like on one page there is an article commanding you to be the best *job* giver of all time to keep your man around; and on the next page there is the never ending “why am I still single?” piece. Hmm. 

      • Anonymous

        Especially the word “this” underlined right at crotch level.  One assumes that most readers of Cosmo know where to find the ladyparts without hints.

      • Anonymous

        That was the first thing that drew my eye!

      • Anonymous

        ‘midbooty’ *shudder*

    • http://profiles.google.com/sara.e.munoz Sara Munoz

      WERQing that shit! The model only wishes she looked that great.

    • http://twitter.com/triskuit Tristan

      It’s hilarious that this look could be considered ‘toned down’, but Nicki looks great.

    • http://twitter.com/bredalot Bridget Smith

      Man, that look is SUPER Batman. In a good way. She looks gorgeous, but, like, BATS EVERYWHERE.

    • MilaXX

      That is a really good look for her, but I always thought Nicki was pretty, Girlfriend can rock a pink lip like no other.

    • http://fafafab.tumblr.com/ fafafab

      she’s pretty, but it seems like she’s way too into the “I threw everything I own on myself” look, it’s sad

      • Anonymous

        I read that as “I threw UP on myself”, which kinda works too

    • Sobaika Mirza

      She looks beautiful!

    • Anonymous

       She is GORGEOUS. I certainly never would have thought so (under all the crack she normally wears) but she really does have “Egyptian Goddess” features.

    • sweetlilvoice

      Saw this at the grocery and damn she looks fine! 

    • Anonymous

      I was so knocked out by this cover in person. She looks spectacular.

    • Anonymous

      I was so knocked out by this cover in person. She looks spectacular.

    • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=1230057270 Allie Carter

      It looks like a batgirl costume.

    • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=1230057270 Allie Carter

      It looks like a batgirl costume.

    • Anonymous

      Thanks to this cover, I am now going to ask my husband when he comes home tonight if he has any Midbooty Thoughts, since Cosmo says I need to know this.

      It’s a bit Batgirl for me also and the superhero belt is not helping, but this is the best I have ever seen her look. I didn’t even know there was anything like this under the Niki Minaj costume.

    • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=610791985 Aniela Marie Perry

      She’s gorgeous. That dress is also helped by being on a more shapely body. It looks like a trash bag on the model.

    • Anonymous

      A great dress?  She looks like a Batgirl.  A completely gorgeous Batgirl, but still.  Maybe she’s up for the role?

    • Anonymous

      She really IS pretty, isn’t she?  She should be able to get plenty of attention on that alone, and not have to go out with a toy store glued all over her, amirite?

      Anyway, I dig that dress (of course, I’m a Batman kind of girl).  I actually thought the belt was part of it, and I agree it totally makes the look.

    • http://twitter.com/Merneith Merneith

      All Woman – All Bats – All the time.

    • Anonymous

      I can’t really get behind the bubble-gum pink lipstick (sorry, it reminds me of the bad old days; some styles are better off staying in the past), but other than that, she looks great!

    • Anonymous

      I thought she was wearing a Batgirl Halloween costume.

    • Judy_J

      Ba-dada-dada-dada-dada-dada-dada-dada-dada……..BATGIRL!

    • muzan-e

      Now that’s my girl.

    • Anonymous

      Oh, TLo, nice use of “Boom goes the dynamite” !! That’s awesome.

    • Anonymous

      I’d seen a picture or two of her recently and was somehow able to discern her pretty features underneath all the colorful spackle. She really is a very pretty girl. Awesome cover (minus the Cosmo cover lines…ick).

    • Anonymous

      I hate the neckline on the dress; it’s totally low-rent Halloween.  But she is a pretty, pretty lady, no doubt about it.

    • Anonymous

      Agree, she is a beautiful girl under all the clown costumes.  She doesn’t need the bedazzling to stand out. 

    • Lisa

      She’s super pretty, yes, but the fact that this is toned down for her is still cray-cray.  She looks at home on the cover of Cosmo, if ya know what I mean.

    • Anonymous

      love the dress, hair, makeup, nails, et al., but NOT loving the whiff of duckface i sense in her expression.

    • Anonymous

      She looks like a sexy pink Batwoman. I approve. 

    • elzatelzabelz

      She is Fierce on that cover. Also, that woman TEARS it up in concert. What a pro (dirty mouth though).

    • Anonymous

      I dunno, I prefer her covered in stuffed Japanese toys and her hair two feet tall and pink.  Beauty is everywhere – Nicki is rare.

      • http://profiles.google.com/trashilove { edi } ilovetrash

        ibid.
        & i dont like gaga. but something about this one is less, i dont know, manipulative & solipsistic, i guess.

        • Anonymous

          Nicki looks like she’s having fun with her wackitude, whereas Gaga always assumes this bored expression, which I find a bit off putting.

    • Anonymous

      ….she looks like a man in drag

    • Anonymous

      Love the look – hate the pose. I agree one hundred percent about her features and always have. Remember how lovely Cyndi Lauper would looke scaled down all china doll porcelain? Its like that. Save the big gimmicky crap for the Chiquitas who need it. I do enjoy that she enjoys herself but mostly I think she looks like an Oompah Loompah hooker or some kind of cracked out munchkin.  

    • Anonymous

      You said “Boom goes the dynamite!”  I LOVE you!  Can we get married — yeah, yeah, I’m ALREADY married, YOU’RE already married, and gay, and I’m not, blah, blah, blah….  LOVE you pop culture cuties! :)

    • Anonymous

      Totally agree. Her get ups are always so silly I barely bother to give them (or her) a second look. She looks gorgeous here. I’m not totally fond of the pose. It looks like she is literally squishing herself down to fit in the frame of the cover…or like the top edge of the cover is pressing down on her head. Other than that, fab!

    • Jennifer Coleman

      Ha, I saw this cover this morning and thought, wow, she looks cute when she’s normal. When Regis Philbin grabbed her rear end on the show a few months back, you could see how pretty and poised she was when not performing.

    • http://profiles.google.com/valencia.lucia87 Lucía Valencia

      I saw this cover on a magazine rack and I actually thought: “Wow, would be fun to hear what TLo thinks of THAT one, but they wouldnt feature such an easy and tacky target seriously.” Well…

    • http://twitter.com/onetimeko maybe more

      If only she had a neck. I think she’s insanely gorgeous — with and without the “clown clothes and neon makeup” as you put it — but I don’t really feel like this cover does her many favors. The pose is so awkward and unflattering!

    • Anonymous

      I LOVE Nicki Minaj and that picture of her sitting next to Anna Wintour at Fashion Week just cracked me up. She looks incredible!!

    • http://www.facebook.com/people/Matthew-Just/100000398823204 Matthew Just

      Love the Boom goes the dynamite reference!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=688150598 Elizabeth Siegel

      It’s her thing though to dress crazy all the time! She’s like crazy rapper Gaga!